Lily Potter and the Potions Professor

AN: Ok so here's the next chapter and as promised it is much longer than any of the others. I really hope you like it. ^_^

Chapter 13: Still in Doubt?

"You won't be going back to Hogwarts again," her father's words rang in her ears. "I don't want you in the same building as Malfoy, he's dangerous."

Lily didn't know what was happening. How could he be saying this? Not a week ago she'd heard him telling Hagrid to back off and now he was telling her she couldn't attend Hogwarts because of Malfoy; one of the only reasons she wanted to return.

"You can only go back once he's gone and that's final!"

XXX

"I'm so glad Mum finally convinced Dad to let me come back to Hogwarts," said Lily to Rose as they sat at Gryffindor table once again.

"Well I think he had a valid point," said Rose almost robotically.

"Not you too?" asked Lily, she'd hoped that Rose at least would see how stupid the idea was.

She looked up to the staff table and sighed. "Well it looks like Professor Malfoy's not eating in the hall again." She didn't know why she was saying this, especially to Rose who had made it quite obvious that she detested the Malfoy family more than anyone.

"What are you on about?" asked Rose. "He's gone, that's why you got to come back to school. Malfoy's gone. He's never coming back!" She shouted the last statement and Lily felt her heart pound wildly in her chest as her whole body went rigid with shock…

Her eyes flew open and she sat bolt upright in her bed. Her heart was still beating rapidly and she was shaking. It was only a dream, no not a dream, a nightmare. Lily closed her eyes and slowed her breathing, taking long deep breaths. Malfoy was still here, he hadn't gone away…had he? The thought hit Lily hard. She didn't really know if Malfoy was still in the castle. She couldn't be sure. But he had to be, she'd seen him only yesterday. Anyway, he wouldn't leave without saying goodbye to her, would he? She pondered this for a moment. If she knew anything about Malfoy it was that he could well leave without telling her; he would take the easy way out if he could.

Deciding in only a moment, Lily got out of bed and donned her cloak over her pyjamas. She grabbed her wand and quietly muttered a charm to inflate her bed sheets to make it look like she was still in bed should any of her roommates wake before she returned. She grabbed a clump of Peruvian Darkness Powder which she always kept a supply of, just in case, and headed down the stairs to the common room. It was past midnight and thankfully none of the other Gryffindors had stayed up late so Lily hastily crossed the room and clambered out of the portrait hole.

She'd made it all the way to the dungeons by the time she stopped and really thought about what she was doing. Once again she realised it was quite ridiculous to be suddenly standing at Malfoy's door. But she had to check that he was still here, she just had to. So she raised her hand and knocked quietly on the wooden door. After a few minutes there was no answer and Lily felt her heart sink and tears beginning to form in her eyes. She waited another minute and then pulled her wand out.

"Alohomora," she whispered pointing it at the lock. She heard a faint click indicating that her spell had worked.

She eased the door open and slid inside the dark office. Once she was inside she closed the door behind her and lit her wand. She then crept hurriedly over to the door at the back of the office which led to Malfoy's sleeping quarters. She again tried using a charm to unlock the door but this time it didn't work. Lily frowned; apparently Malfoy had upped the security on his personal room. She raised her hand and was just lowering it to knock when the door swung open and her hand, still travelling through the air, collided with Malfoy's bare chest.

"Potter?" Malfoy said in a half relieved, half surprised tone.

He was standing in his doorway with his wand in his hand. His hair was dishevelled and his eyes were blinking heavily as though he had only just woken, which was more than likely the case. He was wearing long flannel pyjamas pants and no shirt.

Lily felt her face blush violently. Her hand still rested where it had landed. She removed it hastily even though she was enjoying the warmth of his skin.

"Sorry...I..." she stammered, eyes fixed on his chest which she noticed bore long slender white scars which criss-crossed across his body in random patterns.

He smiled and followed her gaze crossing his arms across his chest. "You can thank your father for those," he said.

Lily blushed even more, if that was possible and finally lifted her gaze to meet his. "My father?" she asked.

"Yes," Malfoy laughed humourlessly.

"He did this to you," Lily said painfully.

Malfoy didn't say anything but turned and retreated into his room taking a seat in a leather arm chair and lighting a couple of candles with a swish of his wand.

Lily stepped into the room after him and took in the view. She had never seen inside a teacher's bedroom before but she thought that it'd be safe to assume that none of the other teachers' rooms looked like this. The room itself wasn't particularly large but it seemed bigger because it was quite scarce; it didn't look like somewhere that someone lived because it didn't have any home-like qualities to it. The walls and floor were bare. The wall opposite the door had a stone fireplace in it which, being winter, had a fire smouldering away in it. The bed was up against the wall to the right and there was only enough room for a trunk to sit on the floor at the end of it. The wall opposite that harboured a cabinet that held a quantity of bizarre looking items in the top half which had glass doors. Lily had only ever been down Knockturn Alley once but she'd seen similar things there. Next to this was a wardrobe which presumably held clothes. The armchair that Malfoy occupied was next to the fire and there was a small table beside it with a bottle and empty glass sitting on top.

"What are you doing here?" asked Malfoy rubbing his eyes to wake himself up more.

"Oh," Lily remembered why she had came and suddenly realised how stupid and childish it seemed. She paused for a while before saying; "It's stupid."

"Nothing you do is stupid, tell me what brought you here, in the middle of the night," Malfoy said quietly.

"I had a dream," said Lily and the remembrance of it brought tears to her eyes. "I thought you were gone."

"Gone?" Malfoy asked, taken aback. "Why on earth would I be gone?"

"I said it was stupid," she sobbed as she became overwhelmed with emotion; relief at finding him still here more than anything else.

Malfoy eyed her for a moment and then rose and approached her. He put his hand on her shoulder and looked into her eyes. "You're not being stupid Lily, it's ok."

He pulled her into a one-armed hug and she clung to him, wrapping her arms around his thin body. He was that much taller than her that her head rested on his chest. She could hear his heart beating and grinned at the fast pace it was going. She enjoyed the moment as he gave in and hugged her back putting one arm around her and resting his other hand on her head.

"I'm not going anywhere," he whispered.

Lily let go of him and looked up into his eyes. They just stood there for a while looking into each other's eyes before he put his hand on her cheek and kissed her lightly on the lips.

Lily still had her hand on his chest and she could feel where his skin was slightly raised from the scars.

"How did he do it?" she asked.

"A spell," said Malfoy plainly.

Lily wanted desperately to ask what spell and why but she could sense that he didn't want to talk about it so she didn't say anything.

"Maybe you should go back to your dormitory now," suggested Malfoy eyeing a small clock on the bare mantelpiece; it was one o'clock.

"Oh," said Lily a little dejected.

"If you want to..." Malfoy trailed off.

"Can I stay here?" asked Lily deciding that if she didn't ask he wouldn't offer.

Malfoy's head flew up and he looked at her stunned.

Lily realised an instant too late what that had sounded like and felt her face redden again.

"That's not what I meant," she stammered hurriedly. "I...just...I mean."

Relief swept over Malfoy's face and Lily felt even worse.

"I'll go," she said without looking at him and turning on the spot.

"You can stay," he said.

Lily couldn't help but smile as she turned around faced him again.

"I mean," he added. "For a while longer. But I think you should go before morning."

Lily nodded and stepped further into the room as Malfoy walked over to the door and closed it.

He walked over and flopped back onto the bed, his legs still dangling over the side. After a short pause he propped himself up on his elbows and looked at Lily. Drawn to him, she walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed next to him. He sat up when she got there and seemed to be avoiding her gaze.

"I suppose you want me to tell you about this," he said waving his hand at the scars across his chest.

"Only if you want to," Lily said quietly but she was really dying to know. Obviously this was a story that her father had not told her.

"I want to tell you," Malfoy said sincerely.

"Ok," it was all Lily could manage; she was captivated by him. He was finally going to reveal something about himself to her.

"As you already know I was a Death Eater," he said this very conversationally and Lily thought that he was not as at ease with the fact as he liked to pretend. "I was assigned a task, a task that I didn't carry out, something that I couldn't do."

Lily listened to his words, mesmerised by them, and strangely overjoyed by the fact that he trusted her enough to tell her his story.

"Anyway," he continued after a moment's reflection in which Lily thought his eyes became glossy for an instant before returning to their usual distant state. "I was contemplating the task and well I had realised that I couldn't do it so I..."

He seemed to be having difficulty in telling the story that he had offered to Lily.

"You don't have to keep going," she said softly putting her hand on his.

"I want you to know," he said earnestly before resuming his story. "I knew what the consequences would be if I didn't go through with it, I knew that he'd kill me, kill my family and I knew he would show no mercy. Your father came across me, not accidently I don't think, in a moment of weakness which I didn't want anyone to witness, especially not him. I loathed him so much, probably almost as much as he did me. I panicked and instinctively reacted by firing a hex at him. He was defending himself and he hit me with the spell that did this."

Lily's eyes were filled with tears by this point. She felt his pain in the way he'd told the story, and his regret. The emotion flowed through into his tone and although she knew that he had omitted certain details from his tale he could no longer hide his emotions from her.

"I suppose I should have said I defeated a dragon or something," he joked without laughing.

"It wasn't your fault," she said. "You had no choice in what you did."

She was no longer talking about his scars.

"I had a choice, Lily," he said. "I just wasn't strong enough to make the right one."

"But you're able to admit that you made that mistake," she implored. "And that makes you even stronger."

"You're too kind to me," he stated after looking at her for a moment.

She smiled at him and yawned unexpectedly.

"You're tired," he pointed out. "Here take the bed; I'll sleep on the chair."

She crawled to the other side of the bed and lay down. He went to get up but she grabbed his arm and stopped him, pulling him back down onto the bed.

"Lily I don't think we should..." he started hesitantly.

"Just lay here with me," she said sleepily.

He looked from her to the chair and back to her again.

"Alright," he said as he lay down beside her and put his arm around her.

Lily smiled as she drifted off to sleep, comforted by the presence of Draco Malfoy.

AN: You know I'm just gonna ask for some reviews don't you? Pretty please :)