I still do not own Degrassi, or anything that relates to it. I decided to break Still Fighting It- Part 2 into two parts, just like I did with Still Fighting It- Part 1, because I have a tendency to write an excessive amount- if you haven't noticed.

Without further ado, here is the first part of Still Fighting It- Part 2. Enjoy! =) :

After hurting Clare's feelings like I did, sitting though English that day was excruciating, and I avoided her the rest of the day. I could tell she was pissed, and needed her space, but it was slowly killing me to have her so mad at me. 'This is what I wanted to happen,' I reminded myself, even though that wasn't technically true. I didn't want to hurt Clare, but I also didn't want to cut her out of my life completely. Either way, it seemed like I couldn't have one without the other. So be it; I could move on just fine.

But just for good measure I decided I wouldn't go to class tomorrow. Adam and Clare could handle turning in our assignment; they didn't need me there for that. So the next morning I stumbled out of bed, and put my acting skills to work, groaning all the way to my parent's bedroom. The door was closed, so I called out as pitifully as I could, "Mooom, I need you to call Degrassi and tell them I'm not feeling well, so I won't be in school."

My mom swiftly opened the door. "What's wrong, baby boy?" She asked, concerned.

"I feel like shit," I croaked. Because my mom was pretty gullible she sent me right back to bed, and I heard her call up the school. I smirked as I heard her tell Principal Simpson that I wouldn't be making it to school that day; piece of cake.

My mom hovered the rest of the day, checking up on me every five minutes or so, and bringing me tea. It was sweet, and I probably should have appreciated it, but considering I wasn't actually sick I would have preferred to be left alone to think and sulk.

Right before lunch time came around I'd had enough; I needed to get out of the house and away from my mother's suffocation. Besides, I had gotten a text from Adam around the time we had English saying that our project needed to be fixed because Clare made some modifications. I had no clue what that meant, but considering how pissed she was at me, the possibilities were endless. I sent him a text back telling him I was on my way.

I arrived at school just in time for French, the class I had before lunch. Adam, who was in the class with me, and sat next to me, mouthed, "Where were you?" to me as I slipped into my seat. I just shook my head, not really wanting to get into the details right then.

I tried to focus on French, I really did, but my mind kept wandering to how, in a mere 40 minutes, I could be having lunch with Clare. We had the same lunch period, and usually ate together, but I had to find out what to do with myself instead. It wasn't like she would want to eat with me anyway.

By the time class was over I had come up with an idea on how I would be spending my lunch, and it wouldn't be alone.

"Adam!" I called, intercepting him before he could get to his locker. I dragged him to mine, instead, and pulled a plastic bag out. "Guess what I scored last night." I smiled at him.

"I don't know," Adam said, eyeing the bag suspiciously. "What?"

"The newest Goon," I said excitedly. "Want to read them during lunch?" I asked, handing him the limited edition I had picked up for him specifically. "For you," I added, as he took the comic out of my hands.

"Seriously?" Adam asked in disbelief.

I nodded, and grabbed my lunch out of my locker. "We can read them and eat at the same time…at your locker," I added the last part quietly, glancing quickly at Clare's locker, knowing he would catch on to what I was up to with this suggestion.

"You know, you can't avoid her forever," Adam said pointedly looking at Clare's locker.

"But I can try," I said, only half joking. Adam just rolled his eyes, but agreed to eat lunch with me at his locker.

Unfortunately, The Goon was not as great of a distraction as I had hoped it would be. I was on page five, and it was getting more ridiculous with every thought bubble. "This new issue of The Goon in preposterous," I complained out loud.

Adam looked up. "I prefer the Chinatown Saga- where they reveal the secret behind his horribly scarred face."

I narrowed my eyes; he had better not be alluding to anything. But I played along anyway, "You would," I scoffed.

Adam put down his comic, "Clare wants to know what's up with all the mystery," he said abashedly. So, he was alluding to exactly what I had figured. I glared at him. He backtracked, "I didn't say anything; I wouldn't do that. But you should," he said sheepishly.

I really didn't want to have this conversation, so I decided to be blunt. "She doesn't need to know," I said defiantly. However, the fact that Adam and Clare had been talking about me did please me in a twisted sort of way. I shouldn't be happy because she was still trying to understand why I had turned cold all of a sudden, but it meant she was still interested in me, and I liked that. Damn, I was in deep shit.

"Can't you just tell her," Adam pleaded. "The girl is dying." I looked up from my comic, and gave a puzzled, somewhat angry look to Adam. Was that supposed to be some kind of twisted joke? Adam realized his mistake. "O-okay," he stuttered, "she's just really hurting."

I thought we had talked about this before? Apparently I had not been clear enough with my intentions when I told Adam I didn't want Clare to get hurt because of my past. "And I'm trying to prevent her from hurting even worse later," I reminded him.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Adam asked, confused.

I sighed. Apparently I didn't make it clear enough to Adam that I couldn't put Clare in the position of caring about me too much. I was dangerous, and I hurt people, and I did not want that happening to Clare. She was just too good of a person; I don't think I would be able to live with myself if I ever let anything happen to her. "I'm mean to her, I know," I started, "I'm trying to distance myself." I emphasized this as much as possible, trying to make him understand. "I don't want to take her down this road," I added quietly.

"If there is any girl who could handle it, it's Clare. And you know it," Adam pointed out heatedly.

He made a valid point, but if there was any girl who didn't deserve to have to handle it, it was Clare as well. She was just such a good person, and I cared about her too much for her own good. I just couldn't control my emotions when I was around her. She was so beautiful, and fun to be around. When she wasn't with me I felt like part of the sun was missing; she just lit up my world. I shook these thoughts from my head. I was not going to get over her if I kept thinking about her like that. But then again, I guess I wasn't sure if I really wanted to get over her. 'Damnit, Eli, stop it,' I scolded myself.

I decided to try to explain to Adam why Clare caring about me was a bad thing for her. "When I'm around her…all I can think about is getting her to kiss me," I said, and truer words had never been spoken. My breath still sped up, and my heart beat in an irregular pattern, whenever I thought about the kiss we had shared. I wanted so badly to share more with her. But… "It doesn't end well for me," I reminded him, leveling him with the most authoritative look I could muster. I wished he would just drop it. I was already having second thoughts about breaking myself off from Clare. I didn't need him to make it harder for me; Clare was doing a good job of that herself.

Adam looked down, ashamed that he had pushed me too far, but he tried one more time. "Eli…"

"Just shut up, and read your comic," I said, ending the conversation.

Thankfully he listened, and picked his comic back up, flipping through it again. The last minutes of lunch passed by awkwardly until the bell rang.

"I'm skipping last period," I told Adam as we stood up and threw away the remains of our lunches. "I'll probably just go home. Whatever you do, don't tell Clare about what we talked about, okay?"

Adam shook his head, clearly not happy that I was still avoiding Clare, but promised to keep quiet.

I spent the duration of the next couple classes I actually attended thinking about what Adam had said to me. 'If there is any girl who could handle it, it's Clare' kept running through my mind. It was such a tempting, not to mention true, sentiment. Clare was, among other endearing qualities, a very strong girl. If I let her in, she would not only be able to handle it, but she may be able to help. On the other hand, I didn't want to risk hurting her. Why must this be so complicated?

I walked out to Morty before the last period started, and climbed in, but didn't start him. I could still stay- see Clare after school. I sighed. Until I was absolutely sure about how I was going to proceed with Clare's and my relationship, I shouldn't see her; couldn't see her. My will power would diminish for sure, and I had already sent her enough mixed signals.

One thing was for sure: I was no longer convinced that keeping my distance was the best course of action for both Clare and me. In fact, so far, it had proven to be the worst. So what in the world was I going to do now?

Thoughts? Comments? I'll have the second part of Still Fighting It- Part 2 up soon because writing is like crack to me. I truly hope you guys are enjoying the reading as much as I enjoy writing it. Also, thank you very much for reading. =)