Chapter 29: Pass Me the Spud Gun
Lance Jackson and Larry Romano had thought they got off easy, but Bullworth Academy's cafeteria was an ungodly mess when they got there. Students had started a food fight the last time people had eaten in there and while someone had made an effort to clean it up, they hadn't done a very thorough job. That someone had, in all likelihood, been Edna, who had known that Dr. Crabblesnitch's favorite students would come clean it up.
The moment the two boys started working, they fell silent. Neither had anything in particular to discuss or, rather, Lance could've thought about plenty of subject but he knew Larry wasn't the type of person to hold up a conversation with someone he considered to be a dweeb. That much he had learned from the time he had spent in the same dorm room. So, only the absolute necessities were exchanged during the task and it bugged the hell out of Lance, who was perhaps a bit of a geek, but still pretty outgoing.
Just when they had switched to peeling potatoes as they had been instructed in Edna's grimy notes, Lance was, mysteriously and unexpectedly, saved. One of the greasers waltzed into the cafeteria and straight to the corner tables where the two had dragged their tools and potatoes.
"Hey, Jackson. Beat it", Vance Medici ordered bluntly and pointed at the cafeteria exit with his thumb.
"Wha?" Lance said, baffled. Larry too cocked his brow at the redhead.
"I'm takin' over, so scram", the greaser demanded impatiently.
"But Jimmy said...", the black youngster started, but was interrupted.
"He don't care as long as the work gets done. We got it covered, you can go be square somewhere else", Vance said while shooing him off.
Lance stood up and went away without looking back, leaving a very confused Larry with the determined Vance. The shorter youth took off his leather jacket and sat down with the potatoes, willfully ignoring Larry's glare.
"What the hell, Vance?" the brunette asked.
"I came here to apologize", Vance stated and grabbed a knife to go along with the unpeeled tubers.
"What for?" Larry asked when the boy refused to elaborate without him pushing him along.
"I made Norton spill the beans. The guys know you're gay, have known for a while now", his junior confessed sternly.
Larry's jaw dropped. When his brain understood what exactly that confession entailed, he clenched his fists and, for the life of him, he couldn't decide if he wanted Vance's face to meet his potato, his knife, or both. He opted for throwing the sprouted, half-peeled potato which the redhead dodged with little effort. Larry might have been a good pitcher, but Vance was the greasers' dodgeball champ.
"Calm down, man!" he hissed when the older boy seemed to be reaching for another potato.
It took some serious effort, but Larry obliged by stopping in his tracks. He then took another potato, but to peel it. And peel it he did, with extreme anger was by no means the poor green spud's fault.
"Johnny doesn't know, if that's what you're worried about", Vance hemmed at his senior who looked like he was going to start ignoring him with all the might he could muster. Larry did, however, take a quick glance at Vance to ascertain that he was telling the truth, and then seemed to relax a bit before returning to the task at hand.
"How much did he spill?" he asked tensely.
"All of it, I think. And, like I said, it was my fault for bein' nosy. I'm sorry, okay?" Vance apologized.
Larry let out a sigh, his frustration apparent from it. It was true that he had come to regret leaving his friends with his tail between his legs, but he would've preferred telling them himself, if at all.
"Right", he said, tentatively accepting Vance's apology.
"So...", Vance started, again, obviously expecting Larry to carry the conversation.
"What?" Larry grunted unenthusiastically while picking up another potato.
"Why don'tcha want Johnny to know?"
"If Norton told ya everythin', you oughta know", the ex-greaser snorted.
"I wanna hear it from you, man", Vance pleaded.
Larry put his knife down and sighed.
"I didn't tell him 'cause it's embarrassing", he admitted. Vance squinted his eyes at this response.
"You think that bein' queer is embarrassing?" he asked venomously.
Annoyed at his touchiness, Larry slapped his own forehead his palm and screwed his eyes shut.
"No, it's embarrassing for me to be gay for Johnny. There are lotsa people in the world, but no, it had to be the guy who I lose to in everythin'", he grumbled.
"I guess it wouldna been so embarrassing to admit earlier, when things weren't so bad. I mean, not only did I fall for my old enemy, I friggin' let his chick walk all over me n' my dignity for a high school crush", he continued bitterly.
Vance could tell that he had mulled over this a lot and he sympathized. He held back his sassier comments and relaxed.
"So, you don't think it could be, like, anything more than a high school crush?" he asked.
"I'm tryin' not to think about it. What kinda guy would I be if I let myself pine for a straight guy whose idea of humor used to be pokin' fun at my allergies by sneakin' peanut butter into my food?"
Vance snorted, although he wasn't sure if that was supposed to be funny at all.
"So, uh... Have you been with a guy yet?" he carefully asked, steering the conversation away from Johnny.
Larry swept his mouth with his hand, partially hiding his expression as he pretended to examine a half-peeled potato.
"Kinda...", he murmured awkwardly.
"What, seriously? Who?" Vance asked, perked up by Larry's shy answer.
"It's that one townie, Duncan. Used to be one of the nerds before droppin' out, but I guess you wouldna heard of him since you came here later", the older boy reminisced.
"Nerd? You're goin' steady with a nerd?" Vance sputtered, not believing what he was hearing. Larry hated nerds!
"Who said I was goin' steady with him?" Larry asked coolly, cocking his brow at the confused redhead.
"We have a deal, that's all. A 'friends with benefits' kinda deal", the older boy continued with a shrug.
"Oh... Didn't think you'd be the type for that kinda stuff", Vance pondered aloud.
"Neither did I. Always wondered how you could call yourself a 'friend' if you were doin' the job of somebody's hand. But I guess I get it now. Sometimes you just got too much shit goin' on in your life to think about impressin' anyone, but you still kinda need someone who's got more to say to you than your hand does. In fact, I don't think I'm a relationship kinda guy at all", Larry muttered and tossed another peeled potato inside the large kettle where its brethren were waiting for it.
"... So, tried anal yet?" Vance asked with a lewd grin.
He almost gave up on waiting for an answer from the angrily glaring Larry, but then the older boy responded with a mutter:
"Yes, not that it concerns you the least."
"Heh. Cool, cool", Vance approved with a smirk.
Mercifully, he decided to leave that subject alone. The two boys were quiet for a while, so Vance finally picked up a knife and a potato and started working. After a couple of minutes of silence, however, the talkative redhead initiated another conversation.
"Listen, um... I'm sure you've noticed we're havin' some problems", he said with a cough.
"Johnny and Norton are both outta whack. Norton's bossin' us around 'cause he's angry at Johnny 'and I think Johnny suspects that we're all plottin' against him", the greaser continued sternly.
Larry shrugged at this. None of his business anymore.
"And y'know what the worst part is? Lola's preggers, apparently. From what I've seen, she's enjoyin' every minute of it", Vance told.
"She's what?" Larry snapped incredulously.
"Yeah. Told about it last month. If you heard about someone trashin' the bar, it was Johnny after Lola told him. After that, Norton started hoverin' around us like a fussy mom, tellin' that Johnny oughta deal with this all by himself", the younger boy sighed, somewhat relieved to be able to talk about this to somebody.
Larry stared at the greaser, his brows knitting closely together. He was obviously thinking feverishly about something.
"That don't sound right", he stated.
"I know! Norton's got some nerve...", Vance laughed somewhat nervously, almost starting to tell Larry about the various ways he pushed the other greasers around.
"No, not that. I meant Lola. Something's not right", Larry interrupted with a shake of his head.
"Well", Vance harrumphed, "do you think you could talk to her? I think you're the only one she and Johnny ever let come close."
"No", Larry said outright without even contemplating other options.
"Can't you at least talk to Johnny? He's in deep shit up right now, I think he'd appreciate it...", Vance pleaded desperately.
Larry squinted his eyes as took a look at Vance straight in the eye.
"Oh, I get it. You actually just came here to ask me that. Clever", he then snorted.
"No, man!" Vance whined frustratedly and ran his hand through his precious hair. The discomfort he expressed, however, spoke against his words and seemed to confirm Larry's suspicions.
"I don't wanna get involved this shit again, Vance. I admit, I probably contributed to this mess a lot, but y'know what? I've got my own problems. All I know about my future is that I need to get money before my sister moves while all I got is a shitty part-time job at a shipping company's warehouse 'n' a few connections to a trailer park. I came out to my parents too – take a guess how many brownie points I got from them for that!" he ranted.
Vance let out a deep, shaky sigh. A potato rolled over the edge of the table when he leaned his head against his hands.
"Okay Larry, yeah. I did come because I had somethin' more in mind. But I swear, it ain't what you think", he whimpered.
"I came here to learn", he then said, as if that would explain anything.
"Learn what?" Larry spat crankily, his patience running very thin. How goddamn hard was it to speak in full, actually informative sentences?
"How to not get where you're now. You ain't the only one with these kinda problems, y'know", the redhead continued and let his other hand drop flat on top of the table, revealing his desperation in his eyes.
"These kinda problems? What the hell does that...", Larry begun, at first angry at another vague answer, but then suspicion crept into his mind. When the realization hit him, he straightened his back, as if that brought more perspective to the situation, and thoughtfully crossed his arms across his chest.
"It's Ricky, ain't it? You've fallen for him" he deduced with a serious tone.
Vance nodded without looking at Larry in the eye.
"Dammit Vance", the ex-greaser sighed.
"Now that you know my secret, will ya at least reconsider talkin' to Johnny?" Vance asked hopefully.
"No. Grab that knife and peel these goddamn potatoes already", Larry answered gruffly.
"Ffff-"
Author's Notes: Poor green poisonous spud that's guaranteed to create havoc in someone's bowel!