7. Refuge
A/N: Lucky for you all, I have got total writer's block on my other two stories, and I felt drawn back to this one- more updates for you!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of it, as I'm not SM, despite one much-appreciated compliment by a very generous reviewer…
Bella's POV
We arrived back at the Cullen's house in mere minutes. It had not been nearly long enough for me to revel in the freedom of running, much less to prepare myself to "properly" meet the entire family. The prospect was the most intimidating of the day yet.
As we approached the back door, I felt my body involuntarily slowing down, until I was standing about a hundred yards from the entirely glass back wall of the white Victorian house. Edward noticed my pause, and stopped, jogging back to my side.
"What's wrong Bella?" I worked to shake the feeling of déjà vu. I had to stop shutting down without giving him explanations. It just kept leading to him getting that cautious look full of pain on his face, and I hated seeing that. At least he tried to hide it this time, and for actually listening to me back in the woods, I was thankful to him.
I decided the best course of action was to give him a straight answer. "I'm nervous."
His brows knitted together, and lines appeared on his forehead. I was barely able to hold back from reaching out and smoothing the wrinkles- they just didn't look right on his face.
"There is nothing to be worried about Bella- I promise, all of them are just anxious to meet you."
"How do you know that? I mean- obviously, I'm a mistake. Why wouldn't they all hate me?"
Pain again- he was feeling guilty for my worry. Silly. If he knew me, he would know that I couldn't help but worry.
"I just know Bella- I can…I can read it in their minds."
What? He could…
"Wait- you can read minds? Like people's thoughts?!" Could he read my own thoughts? Suddenly I felt rage- and embarrassment- building. Why hadn't he told me he could read my mind? The potential intrusion into my privacy felt like the greatest offense possible. Quite a statement, considering.
He scuffed his shoe against the ground, hanging his head for a moment, thumbs hitched in the pockets of his jeans.
"Everyone's but yours." He admitted.
That caught me off guard. "You can't read my thoughts?" Was he just saying that because he didn't want me to be angry? Because he didn't want to be caught?
"No, not yours." Pure relief flooded me, as I recognized that he was telling the truth. On the other hand, I was still shocked to know he was a mind reader.
"Why not?"
"I don't know- I noticed it that first day, in the cafeteria." He said softly, bringing up that day gingerly, as if it was out of good taste to speak of it. "And I still hear nothing. It's like, you are on another wavelength from everyone else's minds or something."
Great- not only was I a mistake, but I was an abnormal mistake.
"Is something wrong with me?"
He laughed at my question. "I tell you a mind reader, after I've savagely attacked you, and you wonder if there is something wrong with you?"
Oh, well- when he said it like that, he did have a point. I felt like I could have blushed, a sensation that had been too common that afternoon, and changed the subject to alleviate my embarrassment.
"Can the rest of your family…?"
"No- its just me. But Alice- she can see the future, and Jasper can influence the emotions of those around him."
I nodded, still wondering why some of them had extra powers and others didn't, but Edward interrupted before I could ask my question.
"Anyway, I can assure you that they are all eager to get to know you- shall we?" he asked, gesturing for me to go ahead of him.
I bit my lip, almost ready to move and go inside. I looked down and gathered a deep breath, the sight of my clothes reminded me that I wasn't presentable.
"Wait- what about this?" I asked, hand waving up and down my body to indicate the mess I was in.
A small smile traced his lips. He was getting entirely too much amusement since we had returned. I almost wanted him to go back to being somber- but not quite. I liked the way his face looked when it wasn't drawn with tension- more the way I imagined it should be.
"Don't worry about that- Alice will be more than happy to help you find some clothes and clean up."
That was the only other objection I had stored up. I couldn't stall any longer, and I walked toward the house, taking my time to think and listening to Edward's steps behind me. It wasn't until I reached the sliding patio door that Edward stepped in front of me.
"You might want to let me get that." He suggested, hand resting on the edge of the glass.
"Oh...yeah." I said, almost ready to giggle, remembering the earlier scene, and allowing him to push it open.
I stepped through the entrance, Edward closing the door behind me.
"You know, I will have to learn to do that eventually." I said, my independent streak rearing its head. He grinned, and I imagined my heart would have stopped right there if it hadn't ceased to beat. It was the first time more than a slight smile had graced his face. I liked it.
"Edward! Couldn't you have prevented even a little of this? She's a wreck!" Alice's voice cut through the moment of silence, startling me.
My body reacted before I could think, and I jumped around, shifting into a crouch and emitting a short growl. It was cut off as quickly as it began, when I saw that it was just small little Alice. I straightened abruptly.
"Sorry" I mumbled, frustrated at the way my body kept overriding my brain.
Edward cut in before Alice could reply. "There isn't anything to apologize for Bella. It's expected from a vampire as young as you- you are just a newborn, and control is hard to obtain. Frankly, the fact that you didn't immediately pounce is impressive." I was only slightly cajoled before Alice spoke again.
"He's right Bella- it's fine, really. But- can I please, please get you some more clothes? And maybe fix your hair too…really, Edward- what were you thinking?"
I looked to Edward, wondering what I should do.
"Go ahead- I'll let the others know we're home." He said, exchanging a glance with Alice. I couldn't help but think she was giving him some kind of silent message now that I knew about Edward's gift, but I decided I could ask later.
He turned and ran up the stairs, moving faster than humanly possible, while I was still able to see his every movement as if he was running in slow motion.
"C'mon Bella!" Alice said, tugging gently at my arm. I acquiesced, and we went up the stairs as well, to the second floor.
"Now, we don't have any clothes for you yet, but I'm sure I can find something in my things. I just went shopping last week…"
I began to tune her out as she went on and on about clothes, occasionally interjecting something about how much the sweater I was wearing had cost and words like imported and Nordstrom's kept popping up. Apparently, Alice has a thing for clothing.
We walked down a wide hallway, its walls a brilliant white, just like those down stairs. The carpet was just a shade off, and the pale contrast was incredibly modern and timeless all at once. Eventually, we stopped at one of the many dark-lacquered wooden doors and entered into what I assumed was Alice's room. I stood by the entryway as she made her way to the closet and began rifling through rows and rows of clothes. Really, the closet was nearly the same size as the rather large room.
While she went to scavenge for my outfit, I took in the surroundings. The room was simple, a queen-sized bed in the center of room, a couple of small bookcases full of war books, and a large dresser taking up the space. For a vampire's bedroom, it looked rather normal, just like the rest of the house. I supposed I could add coffins and cobwebs to my list of bad Hollywood-stereotypes.
"Aha!" I heard Alice exclaim coinciding with my conclusion, her voice coming from deep within the piles of clothing. A moment later she came back with a new pair of dark-wash jeans and a red button-down that looked vaguely like silk. Though they wouldn't have been my top picks, at the moment I couldn't bring myself to complain, and really just wanted something clean to put on. These certainly fit that criteria- I doubted they had ever been worn before.
"Here- take these, and these." She ordered, handing me a pair of underwear and a bra after rifling through the dresser, in addition to the other clothes. "There is a shower right through there, and you probably want to wash the dirt and blood off. Clean towels are hanging inside." I nodded, head in a flurry at the energy that Alice possessed.
I followed her directions, setting my clothes down on the beige marble countertop, and stripping down.
I climbed into the shower, washed off the grime quickly, trying not to notice too much how different my body was from what I remembered. The perfection of everything was a little unnerving, and I felt a little strange about being so suddenly transformed. Almost like I had inhabited someone else's body, in sci-fi fashion. After shutting off the hot water, I toweled off and pulled on my clothes quickly, making it easier to not think about the changes.
Though I had avoided the mirror upon entering the bathroom, afraid to see my face plastered with the evidence of my earlier hunt, I wiped the towel across the mirror now, curious to see how my face might have changed, knowing that my body had been tweaked in certain ways.
What I saw stunned and horrified me, and before I could think, I heard myself shriek.
Edward's POV
After leaving Bella with Alice, I went to Carlisle's study on the third floor, finding the only father I knew sitting at his desk, reading a medical text.
"Ah, Edward. You're back. How did things go?"
"Alright I suppose." I replied indifferently.
"How did she take it all?" I mulled that over. In my opinion, she had taken it all too well. Easily even, declaring that the "vampire stuff" didn't bother her. She had forgiven me, of all things!
While the act incensed me in many ways, the kindness it reflected made me want to increase hatred for myself and admiration of her, each in equal measure. For her sake though, I tried to focus on the latter, working hard to follow her request that I be more helpful. I gathered that she did not consider my moping helpful, and swore to try my hardest to keep that away from her eyes.
"As well as to be expected." I answered. That was a good neutral answer. As much as I admired Carlisle, and knew that his opinion of me hadn't fallen even minutely, I didn't feel like discussing all of this with him yet.
"And she knows everything?"
"Almost." I replied. This I did want to speak with him about. "I haven't had a chance to tell her the rules- or very much about what being a newborn means."
Carlisle's face stayed serene, as did his thoughts, and he just nodded. "So she hasn't made a choice yet?"
I shook my head. "No sir. I was thinking that we- mostly I- could explain the rest at a family meeting?"
"Of course son. If that's what you think would be best- it would give everyone a chance to meet her I suppose. Where is she now?"
"With Alice, getting cleaned up."
"Good. Then you can go get Emmett and Rosalie from the garage while I go find Esme and Jasper. Alice and Bella may join us when they are ready."
"Yes sir."I replied, turning to leave the study. Then, I heard it. A high-pitched scream pierced the air, coming from the Alice and Jasper's suite. I looked to Carlisle, and he jumped from behind his desk. We both took off down the stairs, rushing to the room across from my own.
Alice stood by the closed bathroom door, calling to Bella, inside.
"Bella? Bella, can you please open the door?"
Silence. I approached from the entryway.
"Maybe we should just go in?" I questioned in a whisper, forgetting that Bella would easily hear.
The door clicked open then, and Bella appeared, looking much more put together and civilized than before, hair still wet from the shower. Where it dripped, dark spots appeared on the shoulders of the red blouse she wore.
I stepped up to her quickly, wondering what may have finally made her snap.
"What's the matter Bella?" She looked shell shocked as she stared directly into my eyes, as if looking for something. I heard more footsteps by the doorway, but I didn't turn to see who had come to investigate. I could imagine that everyone had heard her ear-piercing scream.
"Why are my eyes red?" she asked, shooting straight to the point. Oh- stupid, stupid! Why hadn't I thought of telling her about that? And why had Alice let her have access to a mirror? If Bella was going to ask direct question, it was probably best for me to be straightforward as well.
"It's from the human blood still in you- human blood turns our eyes red, and since there is still so much of your own in your system, your eyes are especially bright. It's temporary, I promise."
She relaxed slightly at my words, and I felt some of my own tensions relieve in the same instant. It was curious how inextricably linked I already was to her. Even the slightest flinch from her made my own stomach tighten, wondering if she was okay. At first I had assumed it was just nervousness she was going to have a break down. However, the more time I spent with Bella, the more I began to see how she was entirely out of the ordinary, even as a vampire. My fears, as well as the concerns my family had held before her awakening, had so far had been unfounded. I had no idea why I felt like her every emotion dictated my own, but I knew that, for now and without a foreseeable end, my existence hinged on hers.
"How long?"
"A few of months, at most. The animal blood will dilute the red slowly, until it turns golden." Horror crossed her face.
"A few months?!" I tensed again, wary of the up-and-down of her emotions. She may have supreme amounts of control, but she was still a newborn. I walked closer, remembering how that had a calming effect on her earlier, before the hunt.
I looked down into her scarlet eyes, having a hard time not missing the brown of her human eyes. Yet, I knew the same Bella was behind the red of her irises. Though I had hardly even spoken to Bella before her change, I could still sense the sweet gentleness within her, if cloaked with the inescapable realities of being one of our kind.
"Yes. But they will change slowly- I promise." She swallowed, breathing in deeply, eyes closed.
"Ok." She said quietly, eyes opening again. I smiled encouragement at her, wanting to do anything to help her along. It hurt me to see her in any sort of pain, even the emotional sort. We stood in an easy silence, and just as I began to wonder if I should back away, a throat cleared behind us.
I turned to see it was Emmett, standing with Rosalie and Carlisle at the door. Esme and Jasper were further out in the hall, peering in.
I stepped to Bella's side, feeling protective of her, knowing the anxiety she had felt about being around the entire family. Fortunately, Carlisle took control of the situation, before it could become too awkward.
"Well, shall we all head down to the dining room?" I nodded my head once, but Bella was obviously confused.
"Why the dining room?" she asked, probably considering why in the world eight vampires would be using a room designated for eating.
"We use the room for family meetings, and this is one occasion that calls for one." I said, trying to let her know there was nothing to worry about.
"Oh." She replied, whether or not she got my unspoken message. "Then let's go."
Bella's POV
We all descended the stairs as a group, filing down and into the dining room in the order we had exited Alice's room.
Carlisle and Esme each took a seat at the head and end of the table, with Alice and Jasper each on either side of Carlisle. Rose sat by Jasper's side, and Emmet by her. That left me to sit between Alice and Edward.
After we had all taken our seats, Carlisle brought the meeting to order by beginning.
"Bella," he started, looking directly at me. "We've called this meeting for many reasons. First and foremost, it is to fill you in on the last few things that Edward has not had a chance to discuss with you, as well as to give you a chance to ask questions, and to discuss what our next moves are. But before any of that, we would all like to introduce ourselves formally, as the circumstances, have not allowed for that as of yet."
I listened to his words, feeling the serious weight of what a family meeting meant in the Cullens's household, as well as considering whether it could actually be called a family meeting since I was there.
"I am Carlisle- we've spoken before, but I'm afraid that none of those few times were in the ideal conditions. My wife Esme, is sitting at the end."
Esme smiled at me, warm and gracious, all thoughts of the earlier incident forgotten. Carlisle paused there, waiting for the rest to introduce themselves.
"Name's Emmett. Of course, I suppose you already knew that." He said, smiling a wide dimpled grin, and offering a hand to shake. His other remained wrapped around the girl beside him. I took his hand, shaking gently, remembering my new strength. Though I doubted I could actually hurt Emmett.
The girl sighed heavily, but the anger I saw in her earlier, when I had woken up, was gone. Mostly she just looked like she really wished she didn't have to be here right now. "Rosalie- call me Rose if you wish." She said, offering the smallest smile. I nodded- not that I could imagine being familiar enough with her to use the shortened version of her name.
"And I'm Alice- I'm the one who carried you back!" she said, voice shockingly happy for discussing what seemed to be so taboo with everyone else. I found it refreshing- everyone walking on eggshells was suffocating sometimes. I noticed Edward shooting daggers at her, but she ignored him. Only Jasper broke the uncomfortable silence.
"My name is Jasper." He said, politely and with the slightest of a southern accent.
"It's nice to meet you all." I replied, unsure of what else I was supposed to say.
Thankfully, Carlisle took control again. He always knew when to step in- I supposed that was part of the reason he was the head of this family.
"Do you have any questions Bella?"
I shook my head no- I thought everything I knew to this point had already been well and graphically demonstrated. Resulting in several self-created horror movie scenes - first covered in blood, then my embarrassing screaming incident. My life was turning into different scenes from Carrie.
"Alright then, as you can imagine, we try to keep our existence a secret."
Obviously- I could remember enough to know that the average human didn't believe in vampires- and I had never heard of anyone having proof of one before.
"If they did, it would create problems for us."
Edward jumped in there. "Living among humans so intimately makes keeping ourselves undetected even more important. Should any human find out, there would be repercussions."
"What sorts of repercussions?"
"There are some of our kind- and Italian group of vampires called the Volturi- that serve as judge, police, and royalty in our world. Whenever there is a risk of exposure, they are quick to act- to execute all parties involved."
Oh.
"We are telling you, because this is the only rule you must follow. Keep the secret." Carlisle took over again. "All other choices are up to you, but you must not take any chances that would bring up the slightest suspicions by humans."
Ok- one rule. Got it.
"But- what other choices?" Carlisle again.
"Bella, you are not required to stay here with us. You are not required to follow our way of life, or our diet. If you wish, you may leave. All tracks regarding your disappearance have been covered, so the decision is entirely up to you."
I hadn't expected that. I hadn't considered leaving the Cullens. Although, I hadn't even considered what they may want, or anything beyond the next hour or so. What if they didn't want me? I couldn't imagine leaving now- I had no idea what I was doing. I needed to be here- to have their guidance. And I knew that I would be sticking to their "diet", no matter what. The idea of taking human lives made me sick. But would I be overstepping if I were to stay? I supposed I would have to find out.
"Can I stay?" I asked, uncertain.
"Of course dear!" Esme piped in. "Isn't that right?" she asked, looking around the table, motherly persuasion in her words. Alice bounced up and down enthusiastically in response, while Carlisle nodded, but no one else moved, looking from one to another, and then to Edward.
Edward noticed, and spoke up.
"Absolutely- unless anyone has a relevant objection?" he surveyed the table, and no one said a word. It seemed they had all just been waiting on his reaction.
"Alright then- that's settled." Carlisle continued. "Welcome to the family Bella." He smiled. I smiled back, relief washing through me at avoiding rejection.
"Welcome, little Sis!" Emmet boomed, slapping the table and grinning. Alice squeaked and hugged me tightly around the neck. Rosalie smiled stiffly, Jasper tipped his head to me, and Esme's warm expression made me feel that I was really at home.
"Now then, one final order of business."
I looked up at him, expectantly, as the others quieted. Even Alice forced herself to settle for swinging her legs back and forth. "As I said, exposure is important to avoid, and your disappearance was an obvious breach of our usual protocol." I noticed Edward's head sag at his words as he played with a thread at the pocket of his jeans. I desperately wanted to reach out and rub his back, tell him it was ok again, but I refrained, trying to focus on Carlisle. It was already hard enough to do so without inexplicably becoming concerned with Edward.
"You should know that we used some of your clothing to lead the search parties to believe you were attacked by a wild animal. Rosalie, Emmet, Alice, and Jasper have all been continuing to go to school to avert attention, while we have been telling everyone that Edward is ill. He will have to return tomorrow. So far, no one is suspicious. As long as that holds, we will be staying here a couple more months to wait for talk to die down, but then we will have to move on."
All of that made sense, and I understood it was all necessary. But one question did remain.
"What about my parents?" I asked, sadness overtaking me as I reached for memories of Charlie and Renee. I couldn't really remember them, and most of my sadness was because of my lack of remembrance than actually missing them. I couldn't piece together enough of them to feel more than loss, as if they already no longer existed.
Carlisle paused, for once seeming less confident.
"They held a memorial service for you- I'm sorry Bella. You do understand you will be unable to see them again?"
Again, I desperately wanted to cry, because I did know that was true.
"Because of exposure." I recited.
"Yes- but also because it will be a long time before you will be able to be around humans and resist the bloodlust." Edward said, interrupting Carlisle right before he began to answer.
Oh- I hadn't known that.
"How long?"
"About a year- maybe two. It depends."
I took a shaky breath- there was so much to know about how my world now worked.
"Ok." I said, accepting this latest development, but still refusing to see myself as a monster, despite what Edward obviously thought of himself. It wouldn't last forever after all.
"Well," Carlisle said. "I think that is it for now- I'll begin moving forward on our relocation and keep you all up to date. You are dismissed for the night."
With his permission, Rosalie and Emmett left first, followed by Jasper and Alice. At their departure I felt a suspicious wave of calm and acceptance that I now recognized as Jasper's gift, but accepted the help as tokens of Jasper's acceptance of me. Carlisle left next, leaving just Esme and Edward.
"Oh, Bella, I'm so glad to have you as part of our family!" she exclaimed, pulling me into a comforting hug and smoothing my hair. "I'm sorry I don't have a room for you, but you are more than welcome to the guest room upstairs. I promise in the move to work on it- but, I guess you do know we don't sleep?" she asked gently.
I sighed- I hadn't known that, and I wondered when the surprises would end.
"At all?"
"Edward- didn't you tell her anything?" she chided. "Goodness- no dear, not at all."
"Alright." No big deal- it was a small thing to get over in comparison to everything else.
Esme just shook her head. "If you need anything, just call, okay?"
"Of course." I answered, smile strained. I really was just ready to be alone. Esme left, leaving me with Edward, again.
"Well- uhmm…do you need anything?"
I wondered when everyone would stop hovering- though I appreciated it, it was tiring.
"No Edward- its fine. Thank you for everything today- you can go though. I think I'll be fine on my own for a while."
He nodded, and after pausing for a moment in deliberation, left me in the dining room. For the first time since the burning, I was alone, and I wondered what I was going to do with myself all night long.
A/N: So, that's Bella's completion of her introduction to the life of a vampire. A warning, the idea for the next chapter is already floating around in my head, and I'll probably even start it tonight- I'm pretty sure it will be fluffy, but who knows, maybe there will be an E/B development. Not sure yet. We'll see. Maybe y'all can persuade/give me ideas by REVIEWING!