Chapter Eight
I haven't had a dream in days. It's amazing how much I miss them... the dreams. They used to terrify me. There were times that I'd be afraid to go to sleep, convinced that the less I saw, the better. Times like that night, the night I dreamed of the car, of everything, when I refused to shut my eyes, lest the visions creep in. The visions...
Alice leant me her word and a shoulder to cry on... and that night, that night, the night Edward Cullen inadvertently helped me cheat death, I slept better than I have in... ever. But I didn't dream. And I still haven't.
The Cullens haven't been in school since it happened. I haven't seen Edward since that day. And I have to wonder if it's because of me... of course, it has to be. It's the only thing that makes sense. Jessica Stanley told me that the Cullens go hiking when it's sunny out. Mike Newton was only too happy to share the massive total that was the end result of a supplies run made by Carlisle in his family's sporting goods store. Everyone scoffed at the excess, at the nerve of these people to spend so much on tents and packs and camp stoves. I wonder why it's anyone's business.
And I wonder why the Cullens aren't coming to school during the day, because every afternoon when I've pulled into my driveway after school, Alice Cullen has been waiting for me.
She's helped me prepare dinner three nights in a row now, but she always leaves before Charlie gets home. And we never really talk about anything.
We talk, but not about that day or what was said. She's still not explained to me what happened, Edward's side of the story. I've still not been given the truth... but I can't find it in me to care. Because I have Alice. And I love Alice.
And if she reminds me of Edward, well... that's just a coincidence...
"Alice, I don't need this," I whined, shoving the blue bundle back at her and stomping my foot like a child.
"Bella, I thought we'd been over this: I don't care," Alice snapped cheerfully. How does anyone snap cheerfully? "Just try it on already."
"No," I pouted, draping the coat over the nearest rack and walking away. Really... this had gone far enough.
"Bella..." Alice began.
"No."
"Bella Bear..."
"No."
"Isabella, please? Please? Just try it on. It'll take three seconds. Four tops," Alice insisted, moving to stand in front of me. I immediately turned my head away from her.
"No."
But Alice was not one to be deterred. Stepping to the side, she crouched so that she was directly in front of my face and then she... pouted.
Fuck.
"Bella," she all but whimpered, her lip quivering a little.
Fuck.
"Bella, please? For me?" Her forehead was wrinkled, her golden eyes so wide and sad and...
"Fine, Alice. But this is the last one," I relented, moving back and violently shoving my arms through the coat as though it had personally wronged me in some way.
"Sure it is," she replied a little too innocently, clapping her hands and declaring the coat perfect once it was fully on. "We'll take that one, too," she told the salesgirl dreamily, motioning towards the sapphire coat that hadn't even made it off of my body yet. "Just add it to the pile, please."
The girl snapped into action, her eyes bright with the promise of her increasingly huge commission, but I couldn't abide the excess.
"Damn it, Alice, I do not need four coats."
"Of course you do, Isabella," she replied dismissively, already moving on to the next clothing rack.
"Alice, when I said 'go shopping' I meant... I don't know. I just needed some jeans and a jacket... maybe some shirts. Not all that," I insisted, gesturing at the growing stack of designer labels behind the cash wrap.
"That's what we're doing, sweetie. I don't see what the problem is. You needed clothes. We're getting you clothes."
"Alice, I can't pay for this..."
"Well, duh. You're my guest. I'm buying."
What the hell...
"Alice..."
"Bella," she cut me off, holding her hand up, "I brought you to Seattle. I brought you to this store. I helped you pick out these things. Of course I'm going to pay for them."
"But..."
"No buts. Everyone deserves to be spoiled now and then. Especially you."
"Alice..."
"Put everything on my account please," Alice said to the girl behind the counter. "And wrap everything but the double-breasted camel trench. She'll be wearing that out."
"Yes, Ms. Cullen," the salesgirl replied with a wide smile, already shifting the clothes into garment bags.
"See, Bella," Alice smiled, handing me my new trench coat, " it's already done."
She helped me into the coat, smiling widely as I once again looked at myself in the mirror. Of all the things she had forced me into, this was by far my favorite. It was soft and beautiful and the color of putty with large ebony buttons and a wide collar. It was the most amazing thing I'd ever put on... and from the look on Alice's face, she knew exactly what it was doing to me.
"Perfect," she muttered after fidgeting with the sash for a moment. "It was made for you."
"Thank you, Alice," I said quietly, understanding that I had lost and won all at once. "But this is all really too much."
"Nonsense, Isabella," she replied with a wide smile. "Now, how are you fixed for shoes?"
Alice and I spent the night in Seattle. She called Charlie and somehow convinced him that it would be safer if we stayed, and proceeded to check us into one of the most lavish hotel rooms I've ever seen. I asked how she managed to get the reservation, since we're just a couple of teenagers... she shrugged me off and smiled.
We ate room service in bed, well, I did, anyway... Alice only picked at her food. We watched old movies on TV. We laughed about how ridiculous some of our classmates are. We swapped stories about others schools we'd been to. It was nice. It was... comfortable.
It wasn't until I was toweling off my hair after my shower that Alice blindsided me with the question.
"Have you had any dreams lately?"
It was innocent enough. Her gaze was impartial. Her tone non-judgmental. There was nothing wrong with what she was asking. But I ignored it anyway. I turned towards the television, pretending I hadn't heard. But then she asked again, and again, and again. And then I caved.
"No," I whispered finally, staring down at the brocade bedspread. And she shouldn't have heard me, because the TV was so loud and my voice was so quiet. But she was Alice, and she heard me anyway.
"Really?" she asked, tilting her head to the side and watching me watch nothing. "Why do you think that is?"
"I'm... I'm not sure," I stumbled, clearing my throat nervously and shooting a quick look in her direction. A look that said 'I'm uncomfortable.' A look that said 'drop the subject.' But she was Alice, and she persisted.
"Has that ever happened before?"
I ignored her again, so she switched off the TV. Silence filled the room, sucking out all the distractions like a vacuum, and suddenly it was just me and her and nothing else. And when she asked again, I answered.
"No. Not like this."
"Like what?"
"Just... nothingness," I whispered with a shake of my head. "It's like I'm floating in space. And I wake up so rested... but I don't dream. I don't see anything."
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" she asked curiously, shifting on her bed.
"The first night, I thought it was good... but now it just feels like something's wrong. Like there's a big piece of me missing, you know? Like the dreams were an integral part of my molecular structure, and taking them away changes my identity."
We sat for a moment, my words hanging in the air as I ran them through my head over and over again. Four nights without dreams. Four nights of nothing. I shook my head.
"I'm being silly," I muttered.
"I don't think you're being silly at all, Bella," Alice replied, gracefully rising from her bed and moving to sit on the floor in front of mine. And because Alice was always moving for me, I moved, too, settling myself next to her on the cream-colored carpet between the two beds.
The silence stretched forever, swirling around us with possibility, with doubt, with potential.
"Why don't you dream, Alice?" I asked her after an age, remembering that conversation that felt like years ago. But it was only days...
"I've never dreamed," she answered. "It's just something that's never happened to me."
"But... I don't understand. It's such a strange thing to tell me. And you promised you'd explain. You promised you'd explain everything, and then you didn't. Well, I want you to now. I'd like to understand..."
"You're pretty demanding when you get set on something, huh?" she asked with a laugh, shaking her head in mirth. "I never saw that about you. It's a nice surprise." She gave me a warm smile and gently bumped my shoulder with hers. The force of it sent me sprawling against the nightstand.
"Oops," she giggled. "Sorry, Bella."
She positioned herself in front of me, her back against her bed, my back against mine, and watched for a moment as I rubbed my now sore shoulder.
"There. Better?" she asked, placing her hand over the area that would surely sport a bruise in the morning. But her hands were cool, and they felt amazing... and the soreness went away.
"Yes," I replied, my eyes a little too wide. "How do you do that?"
"One question at a time, Isabella. First things first, I believe you asked me why I don't dream."
"Yes."
"Before we have this conversation, which, I can assure you, we will have, I need you to understand a few things. And I need to extract some promises from you, the first of which is that you will not repeat what is said in this room to anyone except members of my family. You may not discuss this with Charlie, you may not discuss this with anyone from school, and you will not discuss this with Jacob Black. Understood?"
She gave me a serious look, and I nodded my head dumbly in understanding.
"Good. I also need you to promise to keep an open mind here. This talk was not meant to be this way, but Edward went and lied to 'protect' you, and now you have to do this with me instead of him. Then again, knowing how melodramatic my idiot brother is, it may work out better this way."
Alice's phone chirped from the nightstand and she rolled her eyes.
"Ignore it," she said, jerking her head towards the phone. "It's going to do that a lot."
"What do you-"
"Anyway," she continued, talking over me, "I'm going to tell you a number of things which will make you want to call the nearest hospital and have me locked away for my own safety. I can promise you that I am perfectly sane, as are you, and would encourage you to remember that you have prophetic dreams when you go to bed at night... we're all a little different, here."
I nodded, confused. And it was quiet for a minute... but then it wasn't...
"I don't dream because I don't sleep," Alice stated, rather matter-of-factly.
"You mean you have insomnia?" I asked.
"No. Not insomnia. I'm not physically capable of sleep. So I do not dream."
"I don't... I don't understand."
"Sure you do. Quit rationalizing it and take my words at face value. I do not sleep, Isabella. Ever."
"But, Alice, that just-"
"If you can't accept something as simple at that, then it's going to be a very long night," she huffed, crossing her arms.
"Alice, I'm sorry, but it's... Are you sick? Like, have you seen a doctor about this?"
"Isabella, I live with a doctor."
"Oh, yeah. Well, does he know?"
"Of course he knows. He doesn't sleep either."
"Wait..."
"None of my family sleeps."
What the fuck?
And then Alice started laughing. A lot. She was clutching her sides and rolling around on the floor. And then I realized that I must have said that out loud...
"Alice, it's not funny."
"Of course it is, Bella. You just don't realize it yet."
Her phone chirped on the night stand. And then it rang. But she didn't move to answer it.
"Christ, we're running out of time here, Bella Bear. I'm afraid I'm going to have to speed this up a bit."
I just stared.
"Isabella Swan, what do you know about vampires?"
I blinked at the black-haired girl seated in front of me. She didn't blink back.
"Vampires?" I asked, after a moment. "What do vampires have to do with anything?"
"Just tell me what you know about them," Alice replied, still unblinking.
"They're... I don't know... what does it matter? Quit changing the subject."
She still hadn't blinked. She was just sitting there, like a statue.
"How are you doing that?" I demanded, getting annoyed.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Isabella. And I haven't changed the subject."
Her phone rang again. And again. And then mine did.
"Don't answer that," she told me, still unmoving.
And then the room phone rang. And kept ringing.
"Alice, what the fuck is going on?" I asked, moving to answer the phone.
"What did I say, Bella? Leave it."
And she still hadn't moved...
"Alice, why are you-"
There was a knock at the door. Soft at first, and then growing increasingly louder. I struggled to my feet, thinking to answer it, but Alice yanked me back down before I could get very far.
"No, Bella."
"Alice, you're scaring me."
"Good. That's the only way you'll take this seriously. The phones don't matter. The door doesn't matter. This conversation is the only thing that matters. You're the one who wanted to talk, so we're going to. But you're going to focus, like you promised you would. And all the distractions are going to stop. Now."
She all but hissed the last bit, but the knocking suddenly ceased, as though related. Her eyes went unfocused for a moment, as though concentrating on something in the distance.
"Good," she muttered to herself, before pinning me with her attention once more. "Now, what were we talking about before? Oh, yes. Vampires."
"Vampires," I repeated dumbly. "Alright. What do I know about vampires? Well... there's the Dracula movies. And, um... there are those Anne Rice books..."
"Do you read those books?"
"No... My mom did. And she made me watch that movie with her once... Interview with the Vampire."
"Did you like it?" she asked.
I shrugged.
"It was entertaining. A little scary at parts."
"Is that all you know about them? Vampires?"
"Mark had a lot of books about Vlad the Impaler. He liked to tell me about him, but I think that was more so he could comfort me when I inevitably got scared..."
A faint, strange noise emanated from just outside our door, and I glanced back at it, startled. Alice rolled her eyes.
"What do you think about them?" Alice asked, ignoring the door for now.
"What's going on in the hall?" I asked, still focused on the faint noises. It sounded like... growling? That couldn't be right.
"Don't worry about that."
"Alice, I'm getting really tired of-"
"Isabella."
"Fine. What do I think of them? I don't think of them. Why the fuck would I think about vampires, Alice? Who thinks about vampires? Why are you asking me this. What's going on in the hall?"
My throat was sore. I was shouting. When had I started shouting?
"Would you be afraid if you met one?" Alice asked, ignoring my outburst.
"I don't know. I guess. I don't have a death wish."
"So you'd be afraid if you thought it was going to bite you."
"Of course. Who wouldn't?"
"What if you knew it wouldn't bite you?"
"What?"
"What if you knew it wouldn't bite you? Would you be afraid then?"
I looked at her like she was insane. She looked at me like I was overreacting. And she still hadn't blinked, dammit.
"I guess not."
"You guess not?"
"That's what I said," I groused, crossing my arms.
"What about destiny? What do you know about destiny?" she asked, seemingly changing the subject.
The noise in the hallway stopped.
"Alice, are you high?" I deadpanned.
"I can't get high. Answer the question and stop acting like a child."
She stared at me. I stared back. I'm not a child.
"You mean like my dreams? Is that what you're asking about?"
"You can talk about that if you like. Sure. What did you think when you first dreamed about Edward?" she asked expectantly.
And then the door opened.
"Alice, you have no right," a familiar voice snarled behind me. I didn't need to turn around to know who it was. I turned around anyway.
"I have every right. She's my sister."
"She's my mate," Edward all but yelled, tension rolling off him in waves. "You have no right."
"You screwed things up. I'm fixing them. Leave."
I turned back to Alice, startled at the ice in her voice, and was surprised to find her looking at me.
"What's going on?" I asked to no one in particular.
"Isabella," Edward turned to me with tenderness in his voice, his eyes ablaze, "it's rather late. Why don't you go sleep in my room, and I'll stay here and keep Alice company."
"Your room?" I repeated, confused. Edward had a room here? In this hotel? In Seattle? "Edward, why are you here?"
"That's a good question, Bella. Why are you here, Edward?" Alice asked, crossing her arms.
"My room, Bella. It's right next door. Why don't you get some rest?"
"She's not going anywhere, Edward. We were almost there and you ruined it."
"I ruined nothing," he snapped, fishing a plastic key card from his pocket and setting it on the bed behind me. "Go ahead. 2307."
"I'd rather know what's going on-" I began, only to be cut off, yet again.
"See, Edward? She's not the fragile little girl you keep making her out to be. She's not a child. She deserves to know."
"Know what?" I asked.
"Nothing, Isabella. Nothing needs to be known right now. It's been a week, Alice. One week. Must you shatter her innocence so quickly?" Edward pleaded, still towering above where we sat on the floor.
"Innocence," I muttered. "What the fuck is going on?"
"Sit down, Edward," Alice told him, gentler this time.
"I don't think-"
"Sit down," she repeated, motioning to the floor next to me. "This will happen. I've seen it. You've seen it. She would have seen it, too. Sit down."
They shared a long look. And I didn't know what to do.
"Alice?" I asked, worried and scared and frustrated and confused all at once.
"It's alright, Isabella," Edward said softly, settling himself next to me, placing a cool hand on my knee. "I'm sorry I made such a scene. It's alright."
I turned my head towards him, suddenly too aware of how bewildered my expression must have been, how disheveled I looked in my pajamas. But he smiled at me. A warm, sad smile. And I melted a little inside.
"It's alright," he repeated. And I believed him. "Go ahead, Alice."