A/N: As I am ever so prone to do, I have deleted the old Chapters 10 and 11. This is the new and vastly improved Chapter 10. If you're getting tired of me doing this, you may want to switch to reading me on Twilighted. I'm much less impulsive with my posts, and everything over there is finished product. If you're sticking with me over here, well... thanks. :)
Big thanks to my fabulous new beta IssaBissa. I e-mailed her about this chapter waaay too many times, and she never once told me to fuck off. So thanks. :)
Chapter Ten
I dreamed of a darkened room I used to know very well. The walls were painted a soft purple, a color I had carefully selected after weeks of deliberation. The floors were carpeted in a soft, pristine cream, but I knew there was a fist-sized, maroon stain near one of the baseboard from the day my mother had spilled her glass of merlot. All of my things were gone. Everything was gone. A pile of drop cloths and a lone paint can pushed into a corner led me to believe that my old room was to be painted. Still, it was just a room. Until I saw the window being pushed up and open from the outside. Until I saw the young man crawl in... much like I remembered him, and yet entirely not the same.
Mark came in through my window and sat on the ledge, looking around the room, tears in his eyes. I watched him rise, walking the perimeter of the floor, running his fingers over the walls, stopping in the corner where my bed had been. A look of intense loss crossed his face. And then rage. He brought his hands to his face. He made a fist. He punched the wall. He whispered my name. And I woke up.
My phone was in the next room, the room Alice and Edward now shared. But Alice had told me that she never sleeps. And I was worried.
"Bella? What're you doing up?" Alice asked as she opened the door. The lights were still on in the room behind her. Everything was as I had left it. I hadn't disturbed them. At least, I didn't think I had.
"I need my phone," I said by way of explanation. "Can you grab it?"
"Where is it? Oh, what am I saying? Get in here and get it yourself, silly."
I moved towards my purse, wondering if I should just bring it back to the room with me, when Edward's form appeared in my peripheral vision.
"Did you have another dream?" he asked, worry etched on his face.
"Yes," was my simple reply, unwilling to go into any further detail. Mark was none of their business. I wasn't about to talk about him behind his back... especially when it looked as though he was in pain because of me. I pulled my phone from my bag, flipping it open and scrolling to Mark's number. "What do you do at night if you don't sleep?"
"We have hobbies," Edward responded vaguely.
"Some more obsessive than others," Alice added, smirking.
I shook my head, confused, but let it slide. Quickly, I typed out a text message.
Saw something today that made me think of you. How are you doing?
I hit send and, a little too aware of Edward's not so subtle attempts to read what I had typed over my shoulder, quickly closed the phone again.
"What was your dream about?" Alice asked me curiously.
"Just a friend."
"Must have been serious to make you want to contact them so quickly," Edward said.
"Not really. It just made me think of him, that's all."
Edward recoiled a bit at the male pronoun. So he didn't like my thinking about guys? Interesting...
"Anyway, it's over. I can leave you guys alone, if you like."
"No, stay for a bit. If you're not too tired, that is," Alice said eagerly. "We never did get to finish our discussion."
I nodded my consent, crossing the room to sit in a chair by the window. Alice followed my path, but took the floor in front of me once more rather than settling herself in the chair.
"Why are you always sitting on the ground?" I asked, curious.
"I break furniture."
"Oh."
That was odd.
"So, just to recap what you said to me before, to make sure I got it right... you have visions, too?" I asked her.
"Yes," she confirmed, "but not in the same way as you. Nor are they of the same nature, I don't think. I wish there was some way to test that..."
"What do you mean 'not of the same nature?'"
"I mean that what I see seems to be based on decisions. What you see seems to be based on... I suppose 'destiny' is an apt word. I believe you've used it before."
"I still don't understand," I lamented.
"Well, my visions are fluid. For instance, I've seen this conversation," she gestured between the two of us, "at least four times. I've seen you and Edward talking about this six times. And I've seen you working things out by yourself twice. Each vision was based on each party's thoughts and feelings at the time that I had the vision. Sometimes things happen exactly as I see them. Sometimes things take a complete 180. It depends on too many factors."
"So... what you're saying is that every mood swing and errant thought affects your perception of the future?" I asked. That had to be miserable.
"In a way, yes, but it's not at frequent as you're probably thinking."
"Do you see everyone? Or is it just people in your life?"
"I can focus on people once I know them. When I was born, I tried constantly to focus on you, to see you again, but it was impossible. Years later, when you were born, you started popping up. I got random snippets of your future, but nothing that I understood... and it took me a while to even realize what I was seeing. I mean, you looked so different..."
"Years later when I was born? When I was born? Years later? What in the hell does that mean?" I asked, completely lost.
Alice froze. Edward froze. I'm pretty sure time did, too.
I thought back to Edward's bedroom after the accident. To Alice exuding power and authority.
"Alice, just how old are you?"
"It's hard to say."
"And why is that?"
"Because she didn't know herself when she woke up," Edward responded quietly in her stead. "And she didn't have anyone to tell her."
"But, surely you-"
"I was not there. None of us were."
"But you're siblings. You told me so," I insisted.
"We are. And we will always be."
"I don't understand."
"I'm old, Bella. Let us leave it at that," Alice said finally, giving her brother -well, Edward- a look when he moved to say something again.
"Old. Well, that's informative," I snarked.
"I was here before you were born. Before your mother. Before your mother's mother. And hers before her. Is that better?"
I had to fight back the hysterical laughter. I suddenly felt dangerously close to a manic break.
"Sure," I answered weakly. "You were saying about your visions?"
"Right. Well, before you were born, I couldn't see you in any way. Then, about seventeen years ago, I started seeing you again. When I reached, you were never there, but when I wasn't thinking about it, you would pop up from time to time. Now that I know you personally, I can see you when I think about it. You have no idea how comforting it is after so many years," she added, giving me a smile.
"And it's not... you don't..."
"I try not to invade your privacy, Bella," Alice assured me. "And if you feel like I am, I can back off a bit. It's just... without the visions, I feel blind. When I first met up with the Cullens, it made some of them uncomfortable and I... I held myself back, I guess you can say... but it was rather uncomfortable. It felt like I was denying a part of myself. Like I wasn't whole."
"I understand," I said honestly. "These past four days alone have been hell without my dreams at night. I never thought I would miss them when they were gone, but I did."
"But you're having them again, right?" Alice asked.
"Yes," I confirmed. "It was brief, but it happened."
"Excellent," Alice said with some enthusiasm.
"Most definitely," I agreed, nodding. "I just wish I knew why they stopped," I added through a yawn.
"I have some theories about that, but now's not the time. Let's get you back to bed."
And so, for the second time that night, I was marched back to the other room, tucked into bed with a hug and a kiss, and left alone in the dark.
When I drifted off again, I dreamed about Edward and Alice in the next room. Edward's ear was pressed against the wall behind the beds, his palms flat against the expensive wallpaper. Alice was talking on a cell phone, making fun of her brother's behavior to whoever was listening. After a few minutes, she hung up, approaching her brother and placing herself in his line of sight.
"You can't do this all night, Edward. She's fine. Let her sleep."
"I am letting her sleep."
"You know what I meant," Alice countered, placing an affectionate hand on his shoulder. "She's fine," she repeated.
Edward heaved a sigh and obligingly moved a few inches from the wall, his posture straightening.
"I'm worried," he said, reaching a hand out to trace over the flowers of the wallpaper. "With all that was said, I'm still worried. She doesn't know everything. She doesn't understand."
"She will," Alice assured him, drawing his hand from the wall. "She will know everything there is to know, and she will still accept us."
"But your visions keep changing. You can't be sure. She could..."
"She will know and she will accept us."
They stared at each other for an age before Edward resumed his perch by the wall.
Alice laughed.
"I just like to know she's ok," he said softly, stroking the wall. "She has to be ok."
I woke up, reaching blindly for the pad of paper I had spied on the nightstand. I wrote it all down, every last word, everything I could remember, the vision replaying in my mind like a television re-run. And when it was finished, I turned towards the wall behind me, the wall on the other side of which, if my dream was any indication, Edward was currently standing, keeping guard. I reached out a hand, pressing it to the space above the headboard, caressing it with my fingertips.
"Goodnight, Edward," I whispered, leaning forward to press a kiss the space where my hand had been. And as I settled back into the overly large bed, burrowing my head into the warm softness of the expensive pillows, somewhere in the back of my mind, I heard Edward bid me goodnight as well.
I woke up to sunlight streaming through the sheer curtains over the window and the rather irresistible smell of bacon and eggs wafting towards me from an ornately decorated cart next to my bed. Sitting up, I glanced around, squinting against the bright light and trying to find my bearings. A hotel room. Edward's hotel room. I smiled.
So much had happened last night. Dreams aside, there was a lot to sift through, a lot to figure out...
I crawled out of the enormous bed, noting with a smile the outfit that had been carefully laid out at the foot of it. Alice. Guess I knew where my breakfast came from, too.
I padded into the bathroom, taking care of my more pressing needs before risking a glance into the mirror and squeaking in horror at the image I was presented with. The tangle that was my hair surpassed even bird's nest levels, with long, pointy bits of it somehow managing to stick out in all directions. My face looked like it had wrestled a pillow and lost. Shuddering, I practically leapt into the glassed-in shower behind me.
"Isabella!"
Alice's voice rang out through the marble bathroom, startling me.
"Alice! What the hell are you doing in here?" I called over the noise of the shower, popping my head out of the glass door and looking around. So far, the room was Alice free. She must have been on the other side of the door.
"Back up, Bella. I'm coming in," she trilled, twirling into the room and pushing an armful of products at me, laughing at my modest attempts to cover myself.
"Alice, I'm naked!" I all but shrieked.
"Calm down, Bella Bear. You don't have anything that I don't," she persisted, all but forcing the various bottles into my hands. "The purple one is shampoo. Massage it in and let it sit for five minutes before you rinse it out, alright?"
"I know how to shampoo my hair," I groused to myself, even as I poured a generous glob into my hand and began working it into my scalp. The hot shower began filling with the delicate smell of lavender and vanilla, and I found myself inhaling it greedily, smiling against my will. "What is this stuff?"
"Your new shampoo," Alice answered simply. "No more of that strawberry crap you've been ruining your hair with. And don't you dare rinse until five minutes is up, Bella. Don't think I can't see you in there."
"Christ, Alice, it's just shampoo."
"It's a regimen, Bella. Deal with it," she replied firmly, smiling smugly at me through the condensation-filled glass door. "Why don't you shave your legs while you're waiting? It's like a national park down there."
"Alice!"
Fifteen minutes and a pair of very smooth legs later found me perched on the side of the monster bed, nibbling on my still-warm breakfast as a too-perky Alice ran a brush through my hair.
"I can do that myself, you know," I said through a mouthful of bacon.
"You do it wrong," was all she said, continuing to guide the finely bristled brush through my tresses. I can't lie... it felt really, really good. "Did you give any thought to what we talked about last night?"
I froze, my forkful of scrambled eggs stilling somewhere between the plate and my mouth.
"I haven't really gotten a chance... I mean... it was a long night, and-"
"Of course it was, Isabella. No worries."
"What's on the agenda for today?" I asked a little too brightly, interested in changing the subject.
"We're going home, of course," Alice replied, smoothing a hand over my now untangled hair. "Wait here. I'm going to get a blow-dryer."
Shrugging, I continued to plow through my breakfast, trying not to think too hard about the heavy conversation that I was now avoiding.
"What's Edward up to?" I called, trying to be nonchalant. From her laugh, I'm guessing I failed.
"Brooding," was her enigmatic reply, and then conversation was impossible over the blaring of the hair dryer.
In the end, it took me almost an hour to get dressed. My hair took an eternity, as she first dried it poker straight and then took a curling iron to the ends. My face took even longer, as I was presented with product after product to wash with, to tone, to moisturize... makeup was applied methodically and in layers, with Alice's running commentary explaining to me that this was the only way to get it to stay put in the damp Washington weather.
Dressing was an entirely different can of worms, as we argued for over ten minutes about the undergarments that I had never authorized purchase of. Ridiculous things made of satins and silks and lace, contorted into styles I'd never even imagined, in every color of the rainbow. It wasn't until she presented me with a wad of navy blue silk, explaining to me that it was Edward's favorite color, that I became too embarrassed to continue. Her responding smirk told me all that I needed to know. I had inadvertently provided her with enough ammo to win every clothing argument with me from here on out. If Edward liked it, well...
And so La Perla lingerie found its way onto my body, followed by black ribbed tights and soft black suede boots. A grey cashmere, cowl-necked sweater dress settled itself over my frame, hugging me in an entirely too satisfying way. My sleeves were pushed up and a white ceramic watch was strapped to my wrist. Pewter drop earrings were fastened to my ears. Gloss was ghosted over my lips. And a cold kiss was placed on my cheek.
"All set," Alice said to me softly, gently pushing me towards the closet mirror. Where I could do nothing but stare.
The girl I had so carefully examined last Tuesday morning was gone, replaced by an elegant, subtly beautiful woman.
"Alice, are you ready yet? We need to get-"
My head shot up from the mirror, and I suddenly found myself trapped in a pair of honeyed eyes.
"Isabella," Edward breathed, bracing a hand on the doorway as though it was the only thing keeping him vertical. "Isabella, there are no words..."
We stared at each other, a small corner of my mind marking Alice as she floated around the room, packing things into the black overnight bag on the chair. Dimly, I realized the bag had held my things rather than Edward's. Dimly, I wondered why. The rest of me, though, from the soles of my feet to the tips of my fingers, the part of me still firmly in Edward's thrall, couldn't care less.
He took a slow step towards me, fingers clenching and unclenching at his sides, and then another. His gait was deliberate, and he approached me as one might approach a small animal. In that moment, I suppose the metaphor was apt. He was the predator, and I was his prey. The arrangement thrilled me to no end.
Pale, perfect fingers made their way to my cheek, ghosting over my skin and leaving cool fire in their wake. They traveled up into my hairline, threading through the strands and following them down to the small of my back, where the hand suddenly settled, gripping the back of my dress, drawing me irresistibly closer.
"I have never seen anything so beautiful in all my life," Edward whispered, his cool breath fanning over the shell of my ear and sending sparks through my body. "You are stunning, Isabella."
"I-it was Alice," I demurred with a stutter, wholly distracted by the glorious sensation of Edward touching me so deliberately, the joy of Edward looking at me in such a singular way.
"It was you," he insisted, his cool lips touching my cheekbone for the briefest of instants as they traveled once again to my ear. "It has always been you."
A whimper escaped my lips at the thrill of his proximity, and I found myself stepping closer to him, leaning into his chest, bringing my lips up to the delicious-looking juncture of his neck and shoulder...
"All set," Alice announced cheerily behind us, bringing me crashing down to earth. "We need to get going. Checkout ends in ten minutes."
I jumped back from Edward as though burned, suddenly too aware of how close I had come to kissing him, how close I had come to begging him to kiss me.
"Isabella," Edward whispered in that tone, that tone that sent lightning down my spine, but it was too late and the bubble had burst. And there were so many things left unresolved. So many aspects of his life that I did not understand. So many aspects of him that I did not understand.
It occurred to me that, while I was getting to now Alice better, I really didn't now Edward at all.
"Alice is right. We should get going. Charlie will worry," I said robotically, avoiding his gaze.
"Well, then... let's go, kids," Alice commanded cheerfully, her smile a little too forced and her eyes a little too apologetic. She crossed in front of us, slinging the black bag over her shoulder, opening the door, and walking out into the hall. Stepping around Edward without so much as a glance in his direction, I followed her.
A/N: Aaaand... review.