Discovery

by kat3411

Paul is really just existing, not living. He is trying hard to be what everyone needs him to be, but who does he really want to be? And who does he want to be with? Is there someone out there for him? Read on and find out . . .

5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

IF I FELL

Paul was right. Life went back to normal and it was like the big battle never even happened. As he stood there in the grocery aisle, slapping price stickers on cans then placing them carefully on the shelf he smiled as he thought how ridiculous his life was. One day, he's ripping apart vampires with his teeth, the next he's standing here in the store aisle, wearing a green apron, mindlessly lining up cans.

Ruth had been elated when Paul walked through the door. She fussed over his scratches and he allowed her to dab at them with an anti-septic even though he knew they would be gone in no time, just like his broken rib had mostly healed. Paul showered and put on clean clothes then laid on the couch for some much-needed rest while Ruth made him his favorite dinner, meatloaf and mashed potatoes, and he had to force himself to leave some for the rest of them.

Tyler was itching to ask him where he had been and why he had the bruises and scratches, but surprisingly, he kept quiet. Travis barely noticed, as he was in the middle of telling Paul all about finding a garter snake in the garden. As Travis chattered on, Paul smiled, and for the first time in a long time, he was actually glad to be home.

Leah was quite the opposite from Paul as she was struggling with her feelings of guilt and inadequacy . . . running the scenario through her mind over and over, deciding she should have acted faster and more aggressively so Jacob wouldn't have had to come to her rescue.

Seth finally told her about how he had taken out some vampire named Riley as Edward killed the red-head. Leah sat there in disbelief as her little brother told her all about pretending to be hurt then Bella slicing her wrist with a rock like the Third Wife in the legend that Billy had told them around the bonfire. His eyes lit up as he talked about tearing Riley apart and helping Edward to pile up the body parts so Edward could light the pile on fire.

"So look who got to be a hero," Leah said finally as Seth finished his story with a beaming smile. "And here I thought you would be safe sitting out of the big fight."

"Yeah, whatever," Seth shrugged, a little embarrassed at being called a hero.

"Did you tell Mom that story?"

"Uh, no. You think I want her to beat the crap out of me for putting myself in danger? Even though it's what we do? Hell, no."

Leah chuckled as she nodded in understanding . . . you did not want to piss off Sue Clearwater. It wasn't pretty. Then Leah sobered as she asked, "Seth? Did you ever feel . . . afraid?"

"Hell, yeah! But, I don't know, I knew that Bella was in trouble if I didn't help . . . and I guess the wolf just kind of took over."

That's how Leah had felt, too. Like the wolf just took over. Leah tapped her brother on the knee and said, "I'm proud of you, little brother. You did good."

Seth had to do a double take. Is this my sister? The bitchy girl that never had a good word for anyone?

"Stop looking at me like that. I can be nice if I want to."

"Well, gee, thanks," Seth smiled. "I'm glad you felt like being nice to me today. Maybe you can feel that way again sometime."

"Maybe. If you don't annoy me."

"Sure, I'll just stop breathing."

They shared a laugh then Seth trotted upstairs to his room to take a nap. Leah pushed herself off of the couch to walk over to the window and stare out into the woods as she bit at her thumbnail. It had been two days now and she hadn't been to see Jacob yet. She knew she should. Seth had kept her updated on his condition, and she knew that Jake was healing and that the vamp doctor declared he would be just fine.

Finally Leah decided to take a walk to try and sort through her feelings. Before she realized it, her feet had taken her into town and she was standing in front of the little grocery store where Paul worked. With a sigh, she opened the door and went inside where she spotted Paul in Aisle 3, putting cans of green beans on the shelf. Paul had noticed her walk in, but kept working until she was standing right in front of him. "Hey. What's up?" he asked her as he placed another can on the shelf.

"Not much. Just out for a walk," Leah shrugged quietly. Paul glanced up and could see she had something on her mind.

"Really? And you just happened to be walking through the grocery store? Missed me, didn't ya?" Paul said with a wink. They hadn't seen each other since they each left the cliff top on the day of the newborn fight.

Leah rolled her eyes then pulled out her sarcasm to retort, "Oh yes, Paul. I've been at home pining away for you."

"Yeah, happens alot to the girls around here. There's just not enough Pauly to go around," Paul said with a grin.

"OK, where's your bathroom? Or do you want me to vomit right here?"

Holding up his hand, Paul cried out, "Don't do that! I would have to be the one to mop it up, and I hate mopping up puke." Leah tried to hide her smile at that as Paul put the last can on the shelf and picked up a couple of empty boxes. "Come on. Pick up that last box and follow me."

Leah did as Paul asked and followed him into the back room of the little store where it was rather dark and smelled like produce then he dropped the boxes to the floor and took the one she held and added it to the pile. "So talk. What's bugging you?"

Leah perched herself on a milk crate as Paul started breaking down the boxes. "I haven't gone over to see Jake yet. I keep trying, but for some reason, I keep chickening out. God, I'm so pathetic," she sighed as dropped her head into her hands.

"I know, but you're cute, so I keep you around," Paul teased.

"Gee, thanks," Leah mumbled in her hands.

"Alright, I'm almost done here. I clock out in 15 minutes. How about if I go with you? Will that help?"

Leah looked up at him and feeling like such a baby, she muttered, "Yes."

Paul smiled and mussed her hair like he did Travis. "OK. I'll finish with these boxes then we can go."

Leah smoothed her hair back into place then sat there and watched him work, all the time feeling really stupid knowing she should be able to do this on her own. She knew she needed to see Jacob and apologize for running off on her own, although she still felt he was partially to blame for jumping in like he did.

Paul startled her out of her thoughts with, "OK, let's go!" Leah stood up and walked with him out the back door and to his car where they climbed in and Paul started it up and threw it in gear. "You mind if I stop at the gas station first? I got paid today and I need gas."

"Fine by me," Leah answered.

Paul pulled into the one gas station in town, and got out to pump the gas as Leah climbed out then asked, "You want something to drink?"

"Sure. Anything is fine."

Leah walked inside the store and filled up two large cups with Pepsi from the fountain machine, paid the clerk and walked back out to hand one to Paul. "Thanks."

"It's the least I can do for you offering to go with me and hold my hand."

"I don't remember saying anything about hand-holding. Is that your sly way of saying you want to touch me?" Paul teased.

Leah shot him a look. "Would you cut it out?"

Paul laughed at her as he said, "I'm just trying to lighten your mood, but I can see that's not happening. So, fine. We'll be grouchy." He contorted his face into a grouchy look and then stuck his tongue out at her.

Leah finally smiled as she smacked him on the arm. "OK, OK, I get it. Let's just get this over with," she whined as she climbed into the car to sip her drink while Paul paid for the gas. Paul hopped back into the car and then started the engine and turned out of the gas station to make the quick drive over to the Black's, where he put the car in park, pulled the keys out of the ignition then turned to Leah. "You ready?"

With a quick bob of her head, Leah reluctantly crawled out of the car. Paul met her at the front door and reached down to take her hand and give it a squeeze. Leah smiled at him as he opened the door and walked inside the house, dragging her behind him. Billy was in the small kitchen and greeted them as they strode in.

"Hey Paul, Leah. How are you?"

"Good, Billy, good. How's the patient?" Paul returned.

"Driving me crazy. He hates being laid up. Most of his ribs are healed, and so is the arm, but his leg is still in a brace. He could use some company."

Paul held out his arm to invite Leah to walk down the hall in front of him, so she moved past him and made her way to Jacob's room where she stopped at the doorway and said quietly, "Hey."

Jake looked up from the car magazine he was reading to answer her greeting. "Hey, Leah."

Leah moved slowly into the room as Paul stood in the doorway to say, "Hey, Jake. Still laying here milking everyone's sympathy?"

"Yeah, Paul. I'm loving all the attention," Jacob answered sarcastically. "That's why I let that vampire kick my ass."

Paul chuckled. "Good one."

Leah stood awkwardly beside Jacob's bed, again biting at her thumbnail until Paul cleared his throat and gave her a look that told her to start talking. Finally she took a deep breath and said, "I'm sorry, Jake. If I hadn't gone off by myself, you wouldn't have gotten hurt. I hate that you got hurt." She stopped to pull up a chair and plop down before saying, "But let me ask you something. Would you have done the same if it was Paul that had gone after that vampire? Or Embry? Or anyone other than me?"

"Leah, don't do this. It's not about you being a girl."

"Yes, it is, Jake! All of you," she shot Paul a look, "treat me differently. Like I can't pull my weight. I could have gotten that bloodsucker without your help, Jacob. If only you would have let me try."

"Fine, Leah. Next time I see you run head-on into trouble, I'll just let you go. Then you can be the one in the bed with the broken bones. Is that what you want? Will that make you feel like one of the guys?" Leah didn't answer. "And yes, I would have run to help Paul, or Embry or Sam or anyone else cause that's what we do, Leah. We trust each other. We help each other. That's something you need to learn."

Ouch. Leah looked up to the ceiling and sighed. "OK, Jake. I get it. Look, I'm sorry. I didn't come here to yell at you. I really came here to say . . . thank you."

"Whoa, dude! An 'I'm sorry' AND a 'thank you' from Leah Clearwater all in the same day. That's a first," Paul said with a grin.

"Hey, no comment from you, you ass," Leah shot at him.

Paul just continued to smile as Leah turned back to Jacob. "I'm glad you were there, and I owe you, OK?"

Jacob smiled and held out his hand. "You're welcome. And, I'm sure you'll be there for me someday."

Leah finally flashed a smile as she shook Jake's hand.

"Awwww, can you feel the love in this room? You two are going to make me cry." Paul wiped his eyes like he was crying.

"Get him out of here, will ya?" Jake said to Leah.

Leah stood up and pushed back the chair. "Yeah, he does tend to be annoying." Then she looked at Paul as she added, "But he's cute, so I keep him around."

Paul laughed at that and walked over to the bed to pat Jake's good leg. "Hope you're up and around soon, bro. Take it easy."

"Thanks," Jake said as he picked up his magazine. "See you around."

As they walked out of Jake's house and got back into Paul's car, he asked Leah,"So, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

"No," Leah admitted. "Thanks for coming with me though. I hate being such a fucking baby."

Paul started the car and drove the short distance to Leah's house where he parked the car and looked at her with a grin. "So, you think I'm cute, huh?"

"Yes. But only when you're letting your grandma fuss over you. 'Oh Pauly, I made you some meatloaf. Here, Pauly, let me wipe your nose,' " she said in a funny, high voice.

"Hey, you leave my grandma out of this Clearwater," Paul said in mock anger.

Leah laughed and shot out of the car and made a run for the house. Paul bolted after her and grabbed her from behind before she got to the front door, picking her up and holding her as she struggled. "Put me down you douche bag!"

"Not til you apologize for making fun of my grandma."

"OK, OK, I'm sorry, now put me down!"

Paul set her on her feet, only to reach around and tickle her in the ribs. Leah screamed and smacked at him until Seth opened the door to yell out, "What the hell is going on out here? Could you two act a little more retarded?"

"I can't . . . breathe! Stop!" Leah cried out in between giggles.

Paul finally stopped and let her go only to have her turn on him and smack him hard on the arm. "I HATE to be tickled!"

"Then you remember that the next time you make fun of my grandma," Paul told her with a smile.

Seth muttered, "Fucking idiots," then turned and went back inside.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't hurt you, did I?" Paul asked as Leah was pulling her shirt back down into place.

"No. I'm not that fragile," Leah huffed. "I won't break if you touch me."

Paul leaned in close to her ear and whispered, "No, but you do moan." Leah stepped back and shot him a shocked look.

Seeing that look, Paul realized she didn't take it like the joke he intended. As Leah backed away from him and turned to go, his hand shot out and grabbed her arm. "Leah, stop. I'm sorry. I was just joking."

Leah's head shook slowly back and forth as she said softly, "That night was . . . " she stopped and closed her eyes for just a moment and when she opened them, he could see he hurt her. "I guess it didn't mean the same to you."

Jerking her arm away, Leah started toward the house again until Paul called out, "Leah, stop! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. God, don't be such a girl!"

That stopped her and Leah whipped around to come back at him with, "Don't do that, Paul. Don't you dare do that." Leah stopped in front of him and poked her finger into his chest. "I am not doing the 'girl' thing here and getting all pissed off because you're not declaring your undying love for me. What happened between us was, very . . . well, I thought it was special, in a way that we took what we needed from each other. Like a bond between us or something . . . oh, I don't know. I just don't want you to joke about it like I was one of the sluts you usually bang in the back of your car."

"Oh, thanks, Leah. That paints a pretty picture of me. That night was special to me, too, OK? I really needed you that night, and you made me feel . . . like you needed me, too. I never had that before. I was just making a sick joke." Stopping to run his hand through his hair, he took a breath then said, "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. What happened between us, well, it WAS really hot, you have to admit, but in a really good way, but I . . . I shouldn't have tried to . . ."

Leah smiled as he babbled then stopped him with, "You really suck at apologies, you know that?"

"Look who's talking," Paul snorted.

Leah sighed as she hooked her hair behind her ear then surprised him by asking, "Are you hungry?"

"I'm always hungry," Paul grunted.

"Why don't you come in and I'll make us something to eat. If you can behave, that is."

"I can't promise, but I'll try," Paul replied with a grin.

"OK. Come on, you moron." Leah took his hand and pulled him inside after her.

Seth was lounging on the couch playing a game on his X Box. "You two lovebirds make up?" he asked as they walked in the door.

"Funny, Seth. Just for that, you can make your own damn dinner," Leah grumbled on her way to the kitchen.

"Ooh, smooth move, Exlax," Paul said as he plopped down on the couch next to Seth. "Never piss off the cook." He then leaned over and picked up the other controller from the table. "Halo?"

"Yeah." Seth glanced at him then asked, "So, what am I supposed to think? You two looked awful guilty that day at Jake's when I found you out back all alone."

"Look, I saw that she was about to lose it, so I took her somewhere to break down in private. Leah and I are just friends."

"Whatever. Just don't hurt her like Sam did. I'm not afraid to kick your ass."

Paul chuckled. "OK. If I hurt her, you can kick my ass. But it's not like that, dude. Really."

Seth leaned up and reset the game, saying, "You go first."

"Fuckin' A." Paul started the game and Seth joined in. It had been a long time since Paul just hung out and played a video game. Sometimes he forgot he was just 17. Responsibility made you feel so much older. He found himself relaxing and really enjoying spending time with Seth and decided maybe he should try acting his age more often.

A few days later, he was working at the store when Jared stopped by at his break time. They were sitting out back while Paul wolfed down a couple of sandwiches. "So did you hear, dude? Quil imprinted."

"What? When?"

"Yesterday. But wait . . . here's the best part. It's Emily's niece, Claire. And . . . she's two," Jared said with a grin as he took a swig of pop while he waited for it to register with Paul.

Paul's eyes grew wide as he asked, "Are you fucking serious? He imprinted on a baby? That's sick, bro." Paul shook his head and took another bite of his sandwich then said, "How does that even work?"

"Sam said that with imprinting, I guess it's up to the girl on what she needs him to be. So with Claire, I guess Quil will just be a big brother or something like that until she grows up. Then, I don't know."

"Man, that's gotta suck. Imprinting is bad enough, but to not even get any sex out of it? That's just fucking wrong."

Jared chortled. "Yeah, I guess." He took another swig of pop then looked at Paul. "Why do you think imprinting is so bad?"

"I don't know, I mean, it's like a prison sentence. You get no choice and you're stuck for life. Not something I really want," Paul shrugged.

"You don't know because you haven't experienced it. It's awesome, dude. Kim is . . . she's everything I want, everything I need. I WANT to be with her. I hate being away from her. And the sex is . . . well, I do feel really bad for Quil on that one," Jared finished with a laugh.

"Listen to you. 'She's everything I want, everything I need.' She's turned you into a chick."

Jared slugged Paul in the arm. "Shut up, man. I can't wait until you imprint. You'll be a slobbering fool and I will love every minute of it."

"God, if that happens, just shoot me. I will not give up what little freedom I have left to some chick." Paul stood up and threw his trash in the garbage can. "Maybe I'll just stop myself from looking at any girls. Then maybe I can avoid all this imprinting shit."

Jared laughed at that. "Yeah, you, going without a woman? For how long? You're too grouchy when you go without sex. No one can stand to be around you." Paul just rolled his eyes and opened the back door to the store as Jared followed him and said, "You know, you've been pretty agreeable lately. Maybe it was the fight, or . . . do you have a girl on the side I don't know about Pauly?"

Paul stopped and turned around. "What the hell are you talking about Jared?"

"You. You've been . . . kind of easy going lately, and . . . you've been hanging out with Leah a lot." Then Jared stopped as he realized what he was saying. "Are you . . . and Leah . . . are you banging her?"

"Don't talk about her like that, Jared. I will pop you one right in the face," Paul said as he stared Jared down, his nostrils flared in anger.

Jared threw his hands up. "Whoa, dude! OK, OK, I'm sorry. But I guess that just answers my question."

Paul shook his head and turned around. Shit. He was trying so hard to keep what happened between him and Leah a secret. He sighed and hung his head, his hands resting on his hips. Finally he looked up at Jared. "Look, it happened one time, the night before the big fight. We both ended up on a cliff in the middle of the night, worried about the next day, and . . . before we realized what was happening . . . " he stopped and took a deep breath. "You can't breathe a word of this to ANYONE, Jared. You got that? If Sam found out . . . "

"Yeah, I know, I get that. I promise, dude, OK?" Paul backed off then Jared asked, "So, you and her?"

"Just friends. That's it. I like hanging out with her," Paul shrugged. "She's not as bitchy as she used to be. Sometimes, she's kind of funny. That's all."

Jared just grinned. "Yeah. That's all."

Paul whipped his head to look at Jared and saw the grin on his face. "Jared, I mean it! So help me . . . " he said as he started to move toward Jared.

Jared just laughed and ran out the back door yelling, "Your secret is safe with me, bro!" behind him.

Paul slammed the door and ran his hand through his hair. He hoped to hell that Jared kept his mouth shut.

At the end of the week, they were all called to a pack meeting where Sam let them know that Jacob was gone. "What? Where?" Paul asked.

"He needed to get away, so I let him," Sam replied. "I don't know how long he'll be gone, but we need to give him some space."

Paul was sure this had to do with Bella. He hadn't phased for awhile because of work and he felt out of the loop, but he remembered hearing something about how Bella was going to marry the bloodsucker. He glanced at Leah who had been very quiet and distant for the last couple of days. She knew. And she looked guilty for some reason. Paul decided after the pack meeting, he would corner her and find out what the hell was going on.

It was Brady and Collin's first 'official' pack meeting and they looked like a couple of lost little kids. Sam was talking directly to them when he said, "Look around you guys. This is your family. You need anything, you can count on any one of us. We'll be training you to fight and you'll be working out with all of us at one time or another so you can get to know everyone. Got it?"

Both of them bobbed their heads up and down simultaneously making Paul snicker. Quil jabbed in the ribs to make him stop, which pissed Paul off, so he jabbed back harder. Sam shot them a look and Paul rolled his eyes and sighed. He hated how he always felt like he was back in elementary school, having the teacher give him the evil eye.

Sam went on to set out the patrol schedule for the week then ended the meeting. Paul made a beeline for Leah before she could get away, grabbing her arm and pulling her away from the group asking, "So, what do you know about Jake leaving?"

Leah looked up at him and spit out, "Let me go."

"Not until you talk. What's up, Leah?"

Glancing around, Lean answered, "Not here. I can't." Leah hated being here at Sam's house. The only time she came was when she was ordered to.

Paul knew she was in a hurry to get away from Sam's so he suggested, "Come on. Let's go somewhere where we can talk." She relented and they made their way to his car. It was a warm summer night so Paul said, "How about a swim at the beach?"

"I don't carry my bathing suit with me, Paul."

Leaning close, Paul said with a sly smile, "I've seen you naked, Leah. I think I can handle it."

Leah tried to hide her smile as Paul pulled her along after him to climb into the car. Paul started the engine and took off toward First Beach then asked,"So, what do you know about Jake leaving? Spill it."

Leah looked out the open window and sighed. "Not much," she answered quietly as she tried to contain her hair that was flying around her face in the wind coming in from the window.

"Yeah right. I could see the guilt written all over your face back there. Why do you feel guilty about Jake leaving?"

Leah rolled her eyes and sighed deeply. "Because I found him one night, sitting alone, drowning in his self-pity and I . . . kind of let him have it."

Paul grinned at that. "Good for you. Someone had to call him on it. I'm sick of feeling his puppy-love for that chick."

"Yeah, that's what I told him. I yelled at him because I had a dream about kissing Bella! You know how gross that is?"

"Sounds hot to me. Tell me all about it," Paul told her with a grin. Leah shot him a look that told him she didn't need his sick sense of humor right now, so he mumbled, "Sorry. Go on."

"Anyway, I basically told him to suck it up and get over it." Paul whipped his head to look at her and Leah gave a harsh laugh. "Yeah, I know, me telling someone that. I get the irony." Paul chuckled and she went on, "But I was too hard on him. I let my bitchiness come out, and I said things that I now regret. I know how much I hated it when you yelled at me and told me basically the same thing. Only I wasn't as nice as you were. I said something I really shouldn't have . . ."

"What?"

"We all know that she's made up her mind to . . . be one of them . . . and I shot off my big mouth and said something like 'he'll probably kill her anyway.' Not my proudest moment."

"Oh, OK. Now I get it. You know he didn't run off because of what you said, right?"

"Of course, I know that. He was going to go no matter what anyone said. I just feel bad because . . . well, out of anyone, I know just how he feels. I could have been more understanding, and let him talk about his feelings instead of just being . . . such a bitch. He got back at me though, so . . . whatever," Leah finished softly as she turned again to look out the window.

Paul parked the car in the parking lot at First Beach then shut off the engine. "Look, Leah, letting him talk about his feelings wouldn't really have changed anything. You know what that's like. I think he needs to run, to get away. Maybe that's what's best for him right now."

Leah shrugged at him. "I guess." She didn't sound so convinced.

With that, they both got out of the car and walked toward the beach. It's such a beautiful warm night, Leah thought as she looked up at all the stars remembering how she used to love coming to the beach, especially on a night like this. She and Sam had spent all of their free time at the beach in the summers when they were together. Now she squeezed her eyes shut and tried hard to push those painful memories away. But with the smell of the ocean and the sound of the surf . . . they cut right through her. Opening her eyes, Leah said anxiously, "This was a bad idea. I need to go."

As Leah turned away, Paul grabbed her hand. "Hey, wait! What's wrong?"

"I can't be here, Paul. It's too hard." Paul realized then she was thinking of all the time she spent here with Sam. They had all hung out here in the summers . . . before . . . Paul put his hands on Leah's upper arms and said, "Leah. You will never be able to put him behind you if you don't face the memories. You're letting them have too much power over you. Be here with me. Make different memories. At least try."

Paul's eyes bore into hers, willing her to change her mind . . . finally Leah nodded slightly and said quietly, "I'll try."

Paul smiled as he praised her, "Good girl. Come on. Let's hit the water." He was already pulling off his t-shirt as he walked toward the water and Leah sighed. Skinny-dipping with Paul? Probably not the best idea . . . but, what the hell.

Leah followed Paul to the water's edge where he threw down his shirt, kicked off his shoes, then whipped off his shorts and walked into the slowly lapping waves. She shamed herself by admiring his ass as he walked away from her as she had to admit, he did have a great body. Then taking a deep breath, Leah pulled her shirt off over her head and let it drop to the sand then pushed her shorts down over her hips and stepped out of them.

Paul grinned as Leah walked into the water wearing her bra and bikini underwear. "Chicken shit," he said as she stood beside him.

Leah just laughed and dove into the waves then pulled through the water with ease, enjoying the feeling of the cool water flowing over her body. When her lungs called for air, she surfaced and treaded water as she looked around for Paul. He was nowhere to be seen as she turned around, scanning the area. Then she felt a tug on her underwear and before she could grab them, Paul had them off, and then his head broke the water's surface and she could see a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Give me those right now, Paul," Leah said evenly. "Those are my favorite pair."

Paul just laughed as he held them out of her reach. "Awww, who knew you would wear panties with little frogs and peace signs all over them. They're so cute!"

"Paul, I mean it!" Leah dove at him and tried to grab them from his hand, but he was quicker than she gave him credit for. Paul swam hard for the shore and she swam just as hard to try and beat him, but he got there first, which really pissed her off, then he stood on the shore and held her underwear out to her.

"OK, I'm sorry, Leah. Here they are. Come and get them."

With a furious glare, Leah stayed in the water, using it as cover. "I hate you, Paul."

"Yeah, sure you do. Come on. Show me some of that Leah Clearwater pride. Dare me to look at you."

Leah was fuming now. She wanted nothing more than to knock that fucking smile right off his pompous face. Gathering up all the courage she had, Leah stood straight and and chinup, walked proudly toward the beach.

Paul watched her with pride, glad that she had taken his challenge. Not only so he could see her hot body all wet and glistening in the moonlight, but he loved to see her confident and strong.

When Leah reached the beach, she glided over to Paul, grabbed the underwear out of his hand then pulled her arm back and hit him in the jaw with all the strength she could muster. It pleased her to see him knocked flat on his ass.

"What the fuck, Leah?" Paul shouted as he sat up and rubbed his jaw. He hadn't seen that coming at all.

"Maybe you'll learn that I'm not the shy little girl you think I am," she huffed as she bent down to pick up her underwear then add, "And I will be the judge of when and where my underwear comes off, thank you."

Paul had to smile at that. Damn, but she was hot right now.

As Leah turned to walk away, she awkwardly tripped over Paul's foot, landing with a thud beside him on the sand. Rolling to her back, she turned her head to say evenly, "Don't you dare laugh."

"Too late!" Paul cackled, his deep, rich laugher shaking his whole body. Leah reached over to smack him, but suddenly, Paul caught her arm then held it down over her head as he loomed over her, is laughter dying as he stared down into Leah's big, brown eyes.

Leah watched in anticipation as Paul moved slowly closer. They had both agreed this wasn't a good idea, and yet she found she was powerless to stop him. His lips met hers and her anger suddenly turned to arousal.

Paul took Leah's arm and pulled it up over her head to join the other and he held them both with one hand. Leah found this really sexy and let a soft moan escape into Paul's mouth. He was resting on top of her now, kissing her lips, then along her jawline to her throat. Leah tilted her head slightly to allow him better access.

Paul's free hand slid slowly down the side of Leah's body to stop at her bare hip then he let go of her wrists and moved his hand down to tangle into her hair, amazed at how beautiful she looked in the moonlight, her jet black hair still wet and glossy, spread on the sand around her head, her eyes black with desire.

Then something hit him. He had never for a second ever thought like this about any of the other girls he had ever had sex with. Why now? Why Leah? It unnerved him to the point of stopping, again, something he had never done. Paul quickly sat up and ran his hand through his hair as Leah sat up beside him asking, "Paul? What's wrong?"

"Um, I'm sorry. I just remembered that we had decided that maybe this wasn't a good idea. I shouldn't have . . .

Leah surprised herself by saying softly. "It's OK,"her fingers skimming his shoulder and then down his back.

Paul turned to look at her. "I don't know."

Leah just smiled and put a soft kiss on his shoulder which Paul found very sexy. Then she leaned forward to kiss his cheek, then his chin, until finally, Leah kissed his lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck. When he felt her tongue glide along his bottom lip, Paul realized he was quickly losing what little resolve he had. He broke away to smile at her and whisper, "Leah, you are making it very difficult for me to remain a gentleman."

"Yeah, what's your point?" Leah whispered back as she nipped at his shoulder with her teeth.

It was more than he could take. Paul smiled as he pushed Leah back onto the sand saying, "Just remember, you were the one . . . "

"Just shut up and kiss me," Leah said as she pulled his head down toward her where she smashed her lips against his. As they kissed, they rolled on the sand, each of them trying to dominate the other. Somewhere, Leah's bra had disappeared and Paul's hand was now playing with her breast, gently at first, just grazing it, then taking the tip between his fingers and rolling it. Leah's back came off of the sand as she arched it in ecstasy.

Leah shoved him off of her and onto his back then proceeded to climb on top to straddle him. Paul smiled as she leaned forward to allow him to suck her nipple into his mouth and tease it with his tongue. "Oh, Paul . . . oh that feels so good," Leah sighed.

Paul smiled as he felt her wetness on his stomach, loving that he could make her do that.

Leah slid down to allow herself access to Paul's lips, kissing them with a controlled precision . . . letting her tongue dart slowly in and out as he hands grazed over her ass. After awhile, she couldn't take it . . . she wanted him, now. Sitting up and looking into Paul's eyes, she hovered over him for a moment then slid down onto him, taking in every inch, exhaling, "Oh. My. God."

Paul smiled as he watched . . . Leah had never looked as beautiful or as sexy as she did right now. He was mesmerized, watching as she moved, slowly at first then faster and faster as she found just the right spot . . . her head thrown back, her face was lit up with excitement as her climax was building. Leah felt the explosion as wave after wave of pure enjoyment passed over her, holding her captive, until finally she collapsed on Paul's chest and tried to catch her breath.

"That was amazing," Paul whispered.

Leah laughed and answered, "You have no idea."

Paul rolled her over so he was on top. "Yeah, but I want to find out," he whispered as he slid inside her and started moving. She was so hot and wet and he was soon lost in the feeling of nothing but Leah all around him, her arms and legs wrapped around him as he drove in and out and then . . . pure bliss. It was like nothing he had ever felt before.

Paul had no idea how long he had been laying there in the sand when he heard, "You know, anyone could come walking along and see us here. Maybe we should get dressed."

Propping himself on his elbows, Paul looked into Leah's eyes and smiled. "I guess. If we have to," he said regrettably. Leah smiled back as he rolled off of her and suddenly, he felt so . . . so strange. A warmth creeped through him as he looked at her . . .

"Um, I'm going to dip into the water real quick first," Paul muttered as he got up and walked into the waves to dive in, feeling like he needed some space from her as he was suddenly filled with all kind of new emotions . . . it was starting to freak him out. What the hell is going on here? It's just sex . . . why am I freaking out? Calm the fuck down, Paul.

Paul swam a little and by the time he walked back on shore, Leah was dressed and trying to comb through her hair with her fingers. Looking down on the sand where he had left his clothes, Paul found that they were now missing. He pulled his gaze to Leah, who sat there with a very smug look on her face.

"Hmmm, my clothes have gone missing. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

Leah gave her best attempt to look innocent, but she couldn't do it for long. She broke out laughing as he stood there naked in front of her.

"Hey, it's OK with me. If you want to stare at my hot naked body, go for it." He did a couple of wrestler poses for her, flexing his muscles with a grin on his face.

"Oh, fine. Here," Leah said with disgust as she reached behind her and threw his clothes at him. "How's your jaw?" she then asked smugly.

Smiling as he pulled on his shorts, Paul plopped down beside her in the sand to answer, "Still hurts. You pack a mean right hook." He ran his hand over it and winced.

"Aw, poor Pauly. Here, let me kiss it," Leah said softly as she leaned over to put a gentle kiss on his jaw as he stared intently. As she pulled away, she smiled and asked, "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Paul quickly shook his head to try and clear his mind. "No reason," he answered with a small smile as he threw his t-shirt over his head and pulled it down then laid back on the sand to look up at the sky. "Man, look at all the stars. I love nights like this."

Leah lay down beside him and sighed, "Yeah, me, too."

As they lay there, side by side, quietly enjoying the moment, each lost in their own thoughts, Leah's hand brushed Paul's then she entwined her fingers with his finally breaking their silence by asking, "Paul? What's wrong? Did I do something . . . "

"No. I'm OK, really," he managed to get out. His emotions were running wild with him and he hated feeling so vulnerable. All of a sudden, he felt like a love-sick pup. Like Jacob. Ugh. He hated this feeling!

Leah rolled to her side to face him. "Really?"

Paul sighed deeply, realizing she wasn't going to let this go. "You know before . . . we talked about this, and kind of agreed that it might not be a good idea to let it happen again. I like being friends with you, Leah. I don't want to fuck that up, you know? Sometimes sex can do that."

"I guess," Leah shrugged, then she was quiet for a moment and Paul hoped that she would let it go. Of course, she didn't. "But what if we both want it? What if we're just two friends who like to have sex?"

Paul smiled and turned his head to look at her. "Yeah, and then what if one of the friends wants more than just sex and the other doesn't?"

"I'm not going to fall in love, you know," Leah told him softly. "I've had enough of that. I don't want to feel that kind of pain ever again," she insisted as she sighed and rolled to her back to stare at the night sky. Leah had managed to push Sam from her mind tonight, here at the beach, where they had spent a lot of happy times. If she could do that here, she was hopeful that she could keep those memories from crushing her. Then she added, "Doesn't mean I want to go without sex."

Paul chuckled at that. He thought it was funny that she thought he was worried about her falling in love as he propped himself up on his elbow to look down at her. "You're amazing, Leah," he said softly as he ran the back of his hand gently over Leah's cheek.

Leah looked up at Paul and wished she could see what was going on inside his head right now. She wasn't used to this softer side of Paul. "I'm fine with this Paul. You sure you're OK?"

"I am. Come on, buddy. We better get going. It's getting late." Paul sat up and slipped his shoes on as Leah did the same then he stood up and held his hand out to her.

Taking, Leah stood in front of him as she asked, "You are full of surprises, you know that?"

"Me? No. I'm just a regular guy, Leah. Nothing special about me."

Leah stared into his eyes. "You know, the sad part is, you really believe that. You have no idea how special you are."

Paul rolled his eyes at her then took her hand to lead her towards the car where he unlocked the car door for her and she climbed inside. As he walked around the car, he thought about what Leah had said. Why would she think I was special? Shrugging to himself, Paulgot in and started the car.

As they drove, Leah looked out at the night sky and she felt different somehow. Like she had turned a corner. Suddenly she felt a little lighter as she glanced over at Paul and smiled. He was a bundle of surprises . . . she never knew what to expect with him. Leah smiled to herself as she realized that she was very glad to be his "buddy."

Paul lay awake that night for a long time trying to figure out what happened to him earlier tonight. He took Leah to the beach to talk and have a little fun, then . . . damn, that was hot! He was no stranger to sex . . . he enjoyed it more than most he thought. But being with someone like Shelia and then being with Leah . . . it was so different. Like polar opposites. As he looked back on those times he spent with Shelia, he could see now he was just using her for sex. He had an urge, she supplied the relief. Not that she didn't get anything out of it, she did. But, he actually felt a little guilty for the way he had treated her and all of the other girls he had been with. He had treated them all the same.

But that first time with Leah . . . was really different. They took from each other what they needed at a very stressful time. It wasn't just sex. There was emotion mixed in and that is what was confusing him. Holding Leah that night while they slept, and waking up to look into her eyes first thing in the morning . . . and then tonight, on the beach. Watching her as she . . . he sat up and ran his fingers through his hair. Trying to sleep now was useless.

Paul threw his legs over the edge of the couch to plant his feet on the floor then he pushed himself up and walked out to the kitchen to open the fridge. After a few minutes of staring at the contents inside, he decided he wasn't really hungry and shut the door.

His feet carried him out the back door and across the backyard to a small area they used as a firepit. He plopped down onto an old stump and looked up at the stars. Tonight had been amazing. Watching Leah as she rode him, her head pitched back as she let her climax build . . . he shook his head to stop that memory, shifting as his gym shorts got a little tight. Shit. How could he hide that from the rest of the pack? Especially Sam? And Seth?

Standing up, Paul began pacing. He didn't want to fall in love with Leah. He didn't want to fall in love with ANYONE. That's the last thing he needed. He had his grandma and little brothers to take care of, and his job at the store and the reservation to protect . . . he didn't need to add one more person to the mix.

Stopping his pacing, Paul wondered, Do I love Leah? He really had no idea. He had never loved anyone but his grandma. Girls to him were a hobby. Something you used to have a good time. He had never given any thought to love and marriage. That was for guys like Sam and Jared and Jacob. He didn't need the headache or heartache.

Paul finally decided he was being stupid for getting himself all worked up like this. So he had some great sex and it had thrown him for a loop. He needed to get a hold of himself and quit acting like a fucking idiot. As Paul stalked back to the house, he was determined to put all this out of his mind and get some sleep as he had to get up and run the early patrol. He let himself in quietly and made his way back to the couch where he tried to get as comfortable as he could get on the lumpy cushions, and then he forced himself to clear his mind and get some sleep.