The Vader Family

YO. YO. Yo. Yo. YO. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!..Eh, no. I'm bored. It's two in the morning and I'm bored. Then I found this thing and decided to do something with it. So...here. Enjoy. Please review. I treat reviews like money: it just sits there and keeps growing and growing...or was it mold? Well they're both green, aren't they? Speaking of mold, I've got this green plant thing sprouting on my windowsill and it looks edible. Should I?...

Disclaimer: YO- I mean, NO.

Chapter 3: Everything's Relative

Chad was led (more like hauled) to a pair of large double doors. Their obsidian presence was a forewarning to what lay beyond them. The Imperial officer pressed the com button on the door and spoke into it.

"Lord Vader, I've brought the Rebel as you've requested. Permission to enter."

"Granted." The mechanized voice was rendered even less human through the speakers. The doors opened, and Chad was pushed in.

Vader stood with his back to them, hands clasped behind and gazing out the window. Piett made a crisp salute and signalled for Chad to be brought forward.

"The Rebel, sir."

"Leave us." The low command was obeyed immediately as Piett filed out of the room with the troopers in tow. The doors closed, leaving a palpable silence.

Chad simply stood there, unsure of what to do. Vader aided him by turning and sitting down at the desk.

"Sit." Chad tentatively lowered himself into the chair. Vader's mask was still, its gaze fixed upon him. He stared back. He could see his reflection in the polished surface of the optical lens.

Vader studied the man seated in front of him. It was incredible. It was impossible. And yet it was true. He had a brother; a living blood-relative. There had been no one in his life he could call that except for his mother. He had agents already scouring the galaxy, searching for information about this man. Where was he living all this time? What happened for them to be separated? Did he even know about all this?

Although confusion and denial still racked him, for the first time in his life, Vader had a sense of, wholeness. All his life, he had felt something inside him; an empty void torn in his soul. He vaguely remembered telling his mother about this feeling, and she had said something was missing, and that he would eventually find it. That void was slightly filled when he met Her, but it was never complete. Now, confronted by the lingering Force presence of this man, he felt more powerful than he had ever been even when his physical body was whole. This man, his brother, might literally hold the other half of their soul, and Force knows what they could accomplish with their combined power. The Emperor's reign would fall, and give rise to a new era of peace, with them at the head. Vader needed to turn this man to his side.

Chad knew he should be terrified for his life; caught red-handed impersonating a Jedi, aiding an insurrection, being manhandled by Darth Vader. He had no idea what his punishment would be, and knowing Vader, it was going to involve more…manhandleness. But unlike in the medical room, where Vader's rage, fury (confusion?)was a force of nature; right now, here, he only felt curiosity. Mind you, it was like the curiosity of a nexu, terrifying and dangerous, but there was no immediate sense of ill-intent.

Oh, so now I'm an expert on Dark Lords? Chad thought to himself. Could be he's just acting, make me let down my guard, then go in for the kill. But that didn't explain why he could feel Vader's mood.

Can you feel that?

"Feel what?" Chad replied on reflex.

This.

Just as he realized it wasn't Vader's voice that spoke, Chad flinched back as he felt a quick tap on his forehead, like someone flicked him with their finger. His hand immediately flew to the sore spot and rubbed it.

"Ow! What was-?"

Then a barrage of invisible fingers attacked him from all sides. It poked and prodded relentlessly as Chad verbally protested the onslaught.

"Ouch! Hey, stop it-! That's a tender spot! Oof, ow! Tch! Stop-Stop it! Hey! Argh! I give, I give!"

The invisible force stopped, and Chad fell into the chair, groaning and nursing his new grievances.

"Interesting."

The low mechanical voice caused him to look up. Vader sat with his arms crossed, deep in thought. Chad realized he was the source of his torment.

"You! You did that with your magical voodoo powers! If that was some new torture technique, then I gotta say…it's pretty effective."

"I believe the correct term is 'the Force'." Vader rumbled.

"Huh?"

"The Force. It is a collective energy that surrounds all living things. Those with the power to do so can bend it to their will. You exhibit some of those qualities."

Chad was a little more than sceptical. "Sure, and I'm not going to jail for impersonating a Jedi." He said sarcastically. His hands flew to his mouth when he realized what he said.

"That remains to be seen." Vader's cryptic comment had him wondering.

"What do you mean by that?" Chad was surprised he was still breathing. Vader killed people on a whim. It didn't matter what your status was; if you pissed him off, he offed you. But Vader couldn't seem to be bothered with the status quo.

"What do you know of your mother?"

The question caught Chad off guard. His mother? Why did Vader want to know about his mother?

"She's dead."

"And who told you that?"

"It's either that or she's off living with her rich husband in a mansion on Naboo. It's what they always say. "

"Who are 'they'?"

"The or-," He stopped himself before he said anything else. He shouldn't be talking about this, but something was compelling him to speak, egging him on. He shook his head slightly and the sensation went away. He saw Vader shift in his seat, seemingly defeated. Weird.

"You are not a Vandier by blood." Vader stated matter-of-factly.

"H-how did you know?" Exclaimed Chad, genuinely surprised. Vader's helmet tilted a bit, as if how he knew was obvious. Which it was.

"Growing up in an orphanage on a neighbouring planet, you were adopted at age 9 by Hayden Vandier, then a candidate for the position of planetary governor. The 'humble and kind-hearted man' had always wanted a son to call his own, and decided to 'support one of the unfortunate and abandoned younglings on a small underprivileged planet'." Vader said this with a sneer, clearly outlining his distaste. "Your adoption by Vandier was rather public. A simple search on the Imperial Network brought up several articles concerning the event. Coincidentally, this gesture pushed him through the ranks and helped him gain his current position. And as soon as it happened, any further mentions of you were gone."

Chad couldn't refute with that, because it was true. His adoption by Vandier had been nothing more than a political move made to steer a few votes into the ballot boxes. The minute his 'father' was announced the winner; Chad had been pushed aside, tossed away like a discarded piece of flimsy. Hayden had never wanted a son, only a political tool, and Chad was more often than not treated with the same regard as the estate's servants. He probably would have been thrown back to the orphanage, if Vandier ever bothered with the paperwork.

"Okay, I'm adopted; so what? What does that have to do with anything?" Chad countered. He was getting a bit peeved by all the personal questions, but his peeveness wasn't enough to overcome his sacredness."

"It has to do with everything," said Vader. He leaned forward over the desk, giving him a more menacing aura than usual. "Your father never told you about what happened to your…brother."

…What?

"Uh, yeah, he didn't, because I don't have one."

"No, Chad… I am your brother."

"…"

"…*whoosh*…"

"….."

"….*whoosh*…."

"….You know, I'm still waiting for the punch line."

"This is not a jest!" Exclaimed Vader, slamming the table. Chad flinched a bit. "I am your brother."

"No, no, that's highly improbable." Chad insisted. "If I had a big towering, menacing brother, I would've made him beat up the school-yard bullies years ago."

"It is the truth. Search your feelings, Chad; you know it to be true."

"'Search my feelings'? What is this, a self-help circle? What does that even mean?"

"If you only knew the power of the Force, then you would know. I can teach you."

Chad was puzzled. "Teach me…how to search my feelings?"

"Think about it!" Vader proclaimed. "With our combined might, we will be able to overthrow the Emperor and rule the galaxy!"

"Uh, isn't he like, your boss? If you're thinking about overthrowing your employer, then it means there are some serious workplace stresses that need to be sorted out. Does the Imperial Navy have therapists on hand, because if not, I can recommend you to some…?"

Vader rose with a roar, knocking his chair over in his rage. Chad backed into his chair, fearing he had to once again suffer the wrath of an enraged Sith Lord. "Do not mock me with your renunciation! I have proof!" He threw a holo-pad on the table that slid in front of Chad. The man picked it up and read it over, and a look of astonishment donned his features.

"Holy stars!" Chad exclaimed.

"Now do you see?-"

"I really am related to Anakin Skywalker!"

"Yes. And with our power, we can-"

"So why did you say you were my brother?"

"Because I am, you twit!"

"So, I have two brothers?"

Vader desperately reined in the overwhelming urge to throttle this imbecile in front of him.

"No, I am-was Anakin Skywalker. He and I are one and the same."

"….I thought your name was Darth Vader?"

That did it. Vader let out a yell of frustration and channelled his rage towards the only thing that could stand it; the furniture. The desk was levitated and flung against the wall, shattering into splinters. Chairs and tables followed as Vader willed himself not to mutilate the source of his frustration.

"Why do you insist on being so obtuse?"

"I can't help it!" Chad cried, hiding behind his chair, the last piece of furniture still intact. "It's my way of coping with stress and fear! I develop a stupidity complex that manifests itself when faced with dangerous and terrifying situations!"

Strangely, that piece of logic actually made sense, and Vader's mood quelled down to tolerable levels. He sighed and refocused his attention on the matter at hand.

"I give you my word that no harm will come to you." For now. "That being said, have you come to terms with our relation?"

Chad furrowed his brow and unconsciously bit his lip. "So, you really are Anakin Skywalker, and I'm your brother?"

"Correction: Monozygotic twin." He nearly slapped himself. Blasted droid.

"Right, that." But Chad had another question. "If you are him, then why do you wear that suit? You scare the kriff out of everybody."

"That is the point."

"Oh."

"...*whoosh*…"

"…"

"….*whoosh*…."

"So how come you killed yourself?"

Vader groaned. This conversation was getting nowhere. "Anakin Skywalker was a weak-minded fool. I learned that to survive, I needed to become stronger, more powerful, and thus took up the mantel of Darth Vader."

"Oh, okay. So, what happens to me now?" It didn't really matter, though. He had no place to go, and he definitely wasn't going 'home'.

Vader was also thinking about that. It put him in a predicament. Taking this man with him was the best course of action. Chad was an unknown factor, and there were still many things Vader wanted to know about him and his situation. And due to their unfortunate 'link', Vader couldn't risk having him running around the galaxy. On the other hand, if the Emperor got hold of information concerning this man, Vader could be out of a job. A strong, healthy apprentice would be far more useful than a broken one, and Vader could count on Palpatine to be one to make the choice. Also, if his enemies learned of this 'link', they wouldn't hesitate in using it against him. Vader weighed the pros and cons, and came up with a decision.

"For the time being, you shall come with me. You will stay aboard my ship until a more suitable plan is made."

"Alright, then," Said Chad. "Um, is it okay if I go fetch my belongings?"

"There is still the threat of the insurgents. You will need to take a guard duty with you if you are to venture out into the city."

"Uh, that's okay, I'll be fine on my own."

"Need I remind you it was they who betrayed you and left you for dead?"

"…Oh yeah." In all the drama, he'd forgotten about that incident. "Bunch a' backstabbers. After all I did for 'em, too."

Vader could feel the anger pouring from Chad. He had gone out of his way to help these vermin, and in return they betrayed him and his trust. Turning his brother to the Dark Side was going to be easier than he thought.

"All the more reason to have a squad on hand." Vader insisted. "You can lead them to any rebel cells that you know of, and eradicate these pests."

"Just because I hate them doesn't mean I want to kill them." Chad stated.

Vader mentally sighed. It seemed his foolish brother still clung to that naïve notion of goodness he himself once held. It won't be long before that belief is crushed. He would see to it himself.

"Fine. You won't have a squad accompanying you…" Vader said.

"See? There's nothing to worry about-"

"…I shall be going with you." Vader drew quite an amount of satisfaction from the look on the other man's face.

"What? No, please, you don't have to go through all the trouble."

Vader stalked over to Chad and loomed over him. "I insist." His tone gave no room for arguments. "We shall depart immediately."

Chad could do nothing but groan. "Oh man, what'll the neighbours think? Obi-Wan's gonna freak."

"…WHAT?"

Notes: BOO-YAH! I just took that and smacked you in the face with it!...No, I'm sorry, I didn't. Please don't hurt me. I wanna talk about mold now. Um, It's green. And tastes like medicine. Penicillin's from mold, right? I think I'm allergic to penicil-(CHOKE GARGLE KOFF DIES) X_X

- Chindu, Prince of Darkness