CHAPTER 22

A TASTE OF HONEY

"Are you serious, Sam? You really want me to be your best man?" Paul asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, I do. I know things have been really awkward between us since you and Leah . . . well, you know. But we used to be tight, you and me, and I guess . . . I guess I miss that. So will you?"

Paul grinned and said, "Sure. Why the hell not?"

Sam laughed and smacked Paul on the shoulder. "Good."

Paul realized that Sam was right. He and Sam had been close until the whole thing with Leah blew up between them. Sam, Paul and Jared always hung out together and patrolled together. They were the first three to phase and that had given them some kind of bond. Lately, Sam and Paul had been spending more time together with Emily always fussing over the boys. Paul teased her that it was time to get her own pack started. She winked and told him she was working on it.

"So, what do I have to do?" Paul asked Sam.

"You show up to rehearsal on Friday night before and find out. You still have a suit, right?" Paul nodded. "Good. Wear that the day of the wedding. Oh, and most important? You are in charge of the bachelor party," Sam said with a grin.

Paul laughed at that. "Well, I will do my best."

Emily asked Travis to be the ring bearer, Claire was to be the flower girl and she gave Tyler the job of lighting the candles before the ceremony. So, since both boys were in the wedding, Paul decided they needed suits. They took a "brothers trip" to Port Angeles on a Saturday and shopped. Not one of his favorite things to do, but they had cheeseburgers for lunch, and then stopped for ice cream before they drove home, so it wasn't all bad. Since it was one of those rare sunny warm spring days, Paul even took them to the waterfront to look at the boats there and Travis was thrilled! Even Tyler smiled and seemed to enjoy himself.

Paul had never even been to a bachelor party, let alone planned one! He had no idea what to do, so he talked to Jared and they finally decided to throw a bonfire on the beach. They went to Sam's and put the grill in the back of Paul's truck then loaded up on hot dogs and burgers and took it down to the beach. They invited all the guys and told them to show up at sunset.

Of course, Kim and Emily sent along some food, too, and all of them had a great time just sitting around the fire eating and telling stories. Sam brought some beer, but didn't allow Collin and Brady to have any and Seth only got one. The rest of them had a few more, and Paul probably a little more than he should have. He didn't think he was drunk, but he wasn't feeling any pain for the first time in a very long time.

Jared realized that Paul had probably had too many when he noticed how much Paul was laughing at the stories everyone was telling. He hadn't seen Paul that relaxed in months. Not since Leah left.

The party finally broke up and Jake and Seth stayed to help Jared and Paul clean up. It was then Jared noticed that Paul had a lot more beer than he realized. Paul was really feeling good and Jared knew he would have to drive him home. After Seth and Jared loaded the grill into the back of the truck, Jared turned to Paul and said, "Alright, Pauly. Get in. I'm driving you home."

"What? You think I'm drunk?" Paul said as he belched then laughed hysterically.

Jared chuckled and said, "Uh, yeah, I think you're drunk. Come on." Jared grabbed Paul's elbow and led him toward the passenger side of the truck.

Paul jerked his arm away and slurred, "I can do it myself, you dipshit." Then he spotted Seth who was talking to Jake. "Hey, Seth! Where's you sister?" he shouted. "Is she back yet? Cause I wouldn't know. It's not like she gives a fuck about me!"

"Paul, stop. Don't do this," Jared pleaded with him as he tried to haul him back towards the truck.

Paul shook him off and staggered unsteadily toward Seth. "I haven't heard one fucking word from her since she left. Can you believe that? I even sent her a birthday card. I did! I didn't want to, but I did it. Because I still love her. I don't want to. I don't fucking want to, but I can't fucking help it!" he slurred as he held on to Seth's shoulder so he wouldn't fall. Then his face crumpled as he asked, "Why doesn't she want to talk to me? I'm a nice guy."

Seth looked at Jared with a look that said, "HELP ME!"

Jared jogged over and pulled Paul away from Seth. "Answer me, damnit! Why?" Paul yelled at Seth.

"I don't know, Paul. You'll have to ask her," Seth finally answered. "I really don't want to be in the middle of this shit." Then he turned and ran down the beach toward home.

Jacob finally spoke up, "Come on, I'll help you get him into the truck." They each put one of Paul's arms around their shoulders and started walking toward the truck.

"And you!" Paul said as he looked over at Jake. "Are you gonna hate me forever cause I didn't love your sister? I couldn't help it. I never wanted to fuckin imprint. You know that! But she was hot. Rachel was really hot and she wanted me to have sex with her ALL the time."

"OK, Paul. You might want to shut up now," Jared said quickly.

"What? She did. But I couldn't do it. Couldn't get it up. Isn't that fuckin weird? Me? Couldn't get it up for a hot girl? But she wasn't my Leah. I love my Leah."

Jake shoved Paul up against the truck and held him there. "Look, Paul. I know you're only shooting your mouth off right now because you're drunk. But I want you to know that I'm glad Rachel left. You made her so fucking miserable! She is so better off not being around you." Jake opened the truck door and shoved Paul inside. "Just go home and sleep it off. You're an ass when you're drunk."

Jared handed him a bucket from the back of the truck. "Here. If you're gonna puke, use this." He slammed the door and looked at Jake. "I have got to remember to never let him drink. EVER!"

Jacob half-smiled at that. "Good luck getting him home."

"Thanks, Jake. Sorry he said that about Rachel."

"Yeah, whatever. She's better off in Seattle. She actually seems pretty happy there. I'll see ya." And with that, Jacob took off at a jog into the woods.

Jared sighed and got into the truck. "Give me the keys, Paul."

Paul grinned. "No. You have to find them."

Jared grabbed Paul's arm. "Look, I am not digging in your pockets you perv. Give me the damned keys."

Paul frowned and tried to dig the keys out of his pocket. He finally got them and threw them at Jared. "Here, you dick."

Jared started the truck and made the short drive to Paul's house. Luckily, Paul made it the whole way there then as soon as Jared parked the truck, Paul opened the door and puked all over the ground. Jared made him stay there until he was sure he was done then he hauled him out of the truck and into the house.

"Dude, I swear if you ever so much as LOOK at a beer again, I will kill you."

Paul laughed way too loud as Jared walked him to his bedroom then sat him on the bed and pulled his shoes off. "Lay down. I'll be back." Paul fell over on his side, still laughing as Jared went to the kitchen and got a bowl out of the cupboard and a big glass of water and some aspirin. Then he walked back to Paul and said, "Get up. I need you to drink this."

Paul obeyed and took the aspirin and drank the whole glass of water.

"If you have to puke again, please try to get it in this bowl, OK?" Paul just nodded and took the bowl. "I'm going to sleep in the living room. If you need something, call me." He pushed Paul to lay down on the bed.

"Jared?"

"Yeah, P?"

"I'm sorry I got drunk. But it made the pain go away. Just for a little bit."

"I know, buddy. Get some sleep." Jared turned off the light, but left the door open so he could keep an eye on him. After making sure the front door was locked, Jared turned off the lights and laid down on the futon. Paul was his best friend and he hated seeing him like this. Leah was coming home tomorrow for the wedding and he hoped to hell that they could find some way to be together and Paul could be happy again. So they ALL could be happy again.

The big day arrived and Paul was trying hard to get himself and the boys ready for the wedding. Tyler actually liked getting all dressed up, so he was the first one dressed and ready to go. Except for the tie. "Paul? I don't know how to tie this, do you?" he asked as he walked into Paul's bedroom.

Paul smiled sadly as he remembered Leah tying his tie before his grandma's funeral. "No, I don't. Wait til we get to the church. I'm sure someone there will know."

Paul finally had Travis ready and they all piled into the truck to drive to the church where they walked inside to find Sam pacing back and forth. "It's about time you got here!" he growled at them.

"You said to be here by two and it's ten till. You need to chill, bro," Paul told him with a smile.

Sam let out a sigh. "I know. I don't know why I'm such a nervous wreck. I've been waiting so long for this day, and now it's finally here. I guess it's just the ceremony part, you know?"

"I get that," Paul chuckled. "So do you know how to tie a tie? As you can see, none of us do," he stated as he nodded toward Travis and Tyler.

"No, I don't. Emily had the guy at the store tie this one and all I had to do was put it on over my head and slip the knot up."

"Great. Well, guys, let's hope someone shows up soon that knows how to do it."

Leah put her dress on and gazed at her reflection in the mirror. It was a short dark purple dress with a high waistline and a flowy skirt. She adjusted the spaghetti straps over her shoulder and decided it didn't look too bad. She had added a few curls to her hair then pulled front up and pouffed it a little before securing it with a barrette and pulling a strand out to hang by her face.

After adding a touch of make up, some silver hoop earrings and a squirt of perfume her mom had given her for Christmas, she decided she was as ready as she would ever be. Leah was not looking forward to this day at all. Watching Sam marry Emily was hard enough, but she also knew Paul would be there. She had no idea how she would restrain herself from running into his arms. But then she remembered the last time he held her and the grimace of pain on his face. She couldn't stand the thought of causing him anymore pain - physically or emotionally.

"Leah! Come on! We'll be late," her mom called up the stairs. Leah sighed and slipped on her shoes as she muttered to herself, "Let's get this over with."

Paul and his brothers hung out with Sam, trying to calm him down. Emily's sister, Claire's mom, was the maid of honor, and she came out and gave Travis his ring bearer pillow. The wedding ring was tied onto it so he wouldn't drop it and she told him to hang onto this pillow and not to set it down anywhere! He nodded solemnly as Travis took this job very seriously . . . he immediately clasped the pillow tightly to his chest.

The door of the church opened and Paul turned to see Sue and Seth walk in, and behind them . . . Leah. He gasped inwardly as he watched her. Her beauty always took his breath away and today was no exception. The purple dress she wore swayed back and forth as she walked . . . she looked gorgeous.

Sue smiled and greeted Sam then bent down to talk to Travis. Seth went to stand with Tyler and that left Leah and Paul, standing there a few feet apart, just staring at each other. Finally, Paul reached into his pocket, pulled out his tie and silently held it out to her.

A beautiful smile broke out on Leah's face as she took tie from him then stepped forward to turn up his collar. She put the tie around his neck and as she tied it, Paul leaned forward slightly to catch the smell of flowers and sunshine from her hair. He also caught a whiff of her perfume and found it intoxicating.

Leah finished tying his tie and put his collar back down then stepped back. "You look very nice," she told him quietly.

"You look beautiful," Paul returned, his voice just above a whisper.

"Leah! Leah!" Travis called out as he ran to her, still holding the pillow to his chest. She kneeled down to take him into her arms.

"Hey, little man. I missed you so much," Leah told him as she squeezed him tight.

"I missed you, too." She let him go and Travis held out the pillow. "I'm the ring bear!"

Leah laughed as she noticed how he said "bear" instead of "bearer." "You are? Big job. You ready for it?"

"Yes! Except, I don't have my tie on. Paul didn't know how to do it. Can you do it for me?"

"Of course I can." She tied Travis' tie then stood up to look at Tyler. He held out his tie with a smile and she took it and tied it for him then she pulled him in for a big hug. After she stepped back she told him, "I think you grew at least 3 inches since I saw you last!"

"Yeah, Paul had to buy me some new jeans. I grew out of the ones that I got for Christmas already."

Leah smiled and choked back tears as she looked at all three of them standing there. My boys. That's how she always thought of them. "You all look very nice."

Then Sam stepped over and Leah looked at him. Paul ushered the boys away as he knew this might be a tough moment for Leah.

"Hi, Leah. You look . . . you look really beautiful," Sam said hesitantly.

"Thanks," Leah smiled. "You look very dapper yourself. Are you ready for this?"

Sam grinned at that. "Yes, I am. More than ready."

"Good. Bout time you made an honest woman of my cousin," Leah told him. He looked surprised and Leah said, "It's done, Sam. It's in the past. I'm OK with this, really."

Sam looked relieved. "I'm glad, Leah. I can't tell you how hard it is has been for me to know that I caused you so much pain. I have hated myself every day for it."

"Don't. Just be happy, OK?"

Sam nodded. "I will. You, too." Then Leah surprised him again by stepping forward and putting her arms around him. He held her close and dropped a kiss on her head then she let go.

Leah smiled again before saying, "I'm going to go and see the bride. Good luck out there!" And then she was gone.

Sam looked over at Paul and said, "Wow. Didn't see that coming."

Paul smiled and told him, "Yeah, she's full of surprises." He wished with all his heart, she had one for him.

The wedding went off without a hitch, and they were now at the recreation center for the reception. Emily and Kim had decorated it themselves and it looked very romantic as the room glowed with candlelight. There was lots of food and a gorgeous wedding cake and Emily's sister had sprung for a DJ so they all could dance.

Leah stood at the entrance to the room and took it all in. For a moment, she wondered what it would be like to be a blushing bride. "Wow, looks great, doesn't it?" Leah turned to see Jared standing there.

"Yeah, it does," she smiled. "I take it this is some of Kim's handy work? Practicing for her big day?"

Jared pulled her in for a one-armed hug and said, "I fucking hope so! Look at you! You look like a girl. When did that happen?"

Leah smacked him and he just laughed at her. Then she marveled at how Embry and Quil each took a turn pulling her into a big bear hug. "It amazes me how I actually miss you guys," she told them all.

Just then, she heard a wolf whistle from behind her. She turned to see Jacob grinning at her. "Bout time you made it home, Leah!" Then he lifted her into a big bear hug.

"Man, I haven't been mauled like this since I went to the Halloween party at the fraternity and they were all drunk!"

Their laugher was like music to Leah's ears. It had been too long since she just hung out and had fun. They spent some time asking her all about college. She told them she had finished her first full semester and was proud that her grade point average was a 3.9 out of 4. It was hard work, but she felt really satisfied. Like she was fulfilling her destiny or something.

"So how long you home for?" Embry wanted to know.

"I'm only home for a couple of days then I'm heading back. I am going backpacking with a couple of friends of mine before our summer classes start."

"Oh yeah? Anyone special?" Jacob asked.

Leah rolled her eyes. "Yes, Jake, they're all guys and we are going into the mountains to have a wild orgy," she told him sarcastically.

"Awesome! Can you find a couple of girls and invite me along?"

"Yeah, right. Like you would know what to do with them," she teased.

That brought a huge laugh from all the other guys standing around who were now shoving Jake as he sputtered, "I think I could figure it out."

Paul stood a few feet away watching them, wishing he could be in on that. In the old days, he would have been the first to step up. Now, he stayed in the shadows and just watched.

The group dispersed and went to get food and Paul made his way to Travis and asked him if he was hungry. He helped him fill his plate then they sat down at a table to eat. Tyler was hanging out with Collin and Brady, but Paul noticed how his eyes followed Cristy around the room. He smiled at that. Ah, puppy love.

Paul's own eyes wandered searching the room for Leah. He found her sitting with Seth, Embry, Jared and Kim and they were laughing at something Embry had just said. Her head tilted back a little then her hand came up to cover her mouth as she laughed. God, she's so beautiful. He realized Travis had just asked him something. "What?" he said.

"I SAID, is Leah staying with us tonight like she did last time?" Travis asked excitedly.

A knife in the heart. "No, buddy. Not this time. She's staying with her mom and brother."

Travis' face fell. "Oh." Yeah, oh.

They finished their meal and Claire came over to get Travis to play with her. He rolled his eyes like it was such a chore to play with a baby, but Paul knew he secretly loved playing with her. "Go on. Just stay in this room so we know where you are." Travis nodded and ran off with Claire as Paul cleaned up their plates and took them to the trash.

"I notice you're keeping to yourself. Afraid to talk to her?" Jared asked.

"No. Just giving her her space."

"Chicken shit," Jared said with a grin.

Paul rolled his eyes and walked over to get some punch. He stood there looking at Leah trying to decide what he would say if he did get up the nerve to talk to her. Jared was right. He was a chicken shit.

Sam and Emily had cut the cake and were now enjoying their first dance as a married couple. Paul watched them in amazement as they stared into each other's eyes with such love. Then he looked away and told himself for the hundredth time it wasn't in the cards for him. He had had his chance with two different girls and he blew it with both of them. Enough was enough.

Leah sat there, picking at the frosting on her cake, trying not to watch Sam and Emily dance. It wasn't because she missed Sam. She had told him the truth today when she said she really was OK with them getting married. That was done and in the past. It was because she kept picturing herself in a long white dress dancing at her own wedding . . . with Paul. She sighed and shoved the plate away as her brother sat down next to her.

"Hey, mopey. You gonna finish your cake?"

Rolling her eyes at him, Leah pushed the plate over to him. "Just like the old days. Always stealing my food."

"Hey, at least I asked first," he said with a mouthful of cake as Leah gave him a small smile. Seth finished off the cake in two bites then put the fork down and looked at Leah. "When are you ever gonna be happy? I thought going to school would be good for you, but every time I see you, you have that same look on your face. Except when you spent that time with Paul when his grandma died. Then you were . . . I don't know, lit up inside."

Leah looked at him and gave him a sad smile. "I always want what I can't have, Seth. Pretty stupid, huh?"

"You know Rachel is gone. She left right after you did and moved to Seattle."

"I know. Mom told me."

"So? What's stopping you from being with him? If you love him that much, just tell him. He's still all mopey over you. The other night at Sam's bachelor party, he got drunk and whined at me because you haven't talked to him since you left. He still loves you, Leah."

Leah closed her eyes and sighed. "I know, Seth, but it's more complicated than that. I HAVE to finish school. I can't stay here. I have another full year of classes and now, I don't know how I'll be able to . . . "she stopped and sighed then said in frustration, "I don't want to talk about it, OK?"

"Whatever. You both deserve each other." And with that, Seth got up and walked away.

Leah smiled as she looked out to the dance floor and noticed Tyler and Cristy dancing. He was holding her at arm's length and he looked like he might throw up at any minute. But Cristy was looking into his eyes and chatting with him . . . she was enjoying every second. Good for you, Ty.

Then Leah stole a glance toward Paul, who was talking to Jared, as usual. She was fighting the strong urge to talk to him. Just to chat. Be his buddy. She was just too afraid it wouldn't be enough.

"Just ask her to dance. Just one dance can't hurt," Jared suggested.

"You think I could dance with her just once? Jared, you're asking the impossible. Beside, I don't know if the pain would still be there when I touch her," Paul argued.

"You'll never know if you don't try."

Paul took in a deep breath and thought about it. Maybe just one dance. He could stop at one, couldn't he? Probably not. But maybe she wouldn't even say yes. God, he hated feeling like he was in middle school again.

Finally deciding he had the balls to do it, he set his cup of punch on the table, stood up and winked at Jared. "Alright! That's what I'm talking about," Jared called after him.

Leah watched in fearful anticipation as Paul made his way toward her. He had taken off his jacket and tie, and several buttons on his shirt were undone and she smiled as she thought he still was the sexiest man she had ever known.

Paul stopped right in front of Leah and looked down into her eyes. "Hey, buddy," he said with a smile.

Leah smiled brightly at his nickname for her. "Hi, buddy."

Paul held out his hand and asked, "Would you dance with me?" He found he was actually shaking like a leaf waiting for her answer.

This wasn't a good idea, Leah knew. But then she smiled as she thought how she told him once in a letter "when had anything they had ever done been a good idea?" Leah took a deep breath, stood up and took his hand then followed him to the dance floor.

Later Leah realized she couldn't remember the song they danced to, but she remembered every detail about how it felt to be in Paul's arms again as he placed one hand on her lower back and took the other in his and rested them both right over his heart. She looked up at him as they moved slowly in a circle and it was like everyone else was gone and they were the only two people on the floor. Time stood still as they gazed into one another's eyes.

Paul's mouth went dry and he felt himself break out into a sweat as he took Leah into his arms. He had longed for this moment for four long months and he held his breath as he waited for the pain to stab him in the chest. But it didn't come. The pain from the imprint was gone! Am I finally free from it? Or is it just like the last time where it was gone for three days, only to come back?

Paul finally decided he didn't care. He wanted to enjoy every moment he had of holding Leah in his arms. She laid her head on his shoulder and he took in her intoxicating scent. Neither of them spoke - they didn't have to. They both knew this time was fleeting and words would just spoil it. Leah could feel his heart beating under her hand and realized it was beating as fast as hers.

Then, too soon, the song ended and Leah stepped back. She knew if she didn't walk away now, she never would. "Thanks Paul," she said softly.

Paul nodded then watched her walk away before turning and immediately walking out of the building to get some fresh air. All of a sudden, his chest was tight and he felt like he couldn't breathe. He had wanted to pick her up and carry her away from here. Somewhere they could be alone. Somewhere they could be together forever. "Get a grip, Paul. Remember your plan. No love. It's not worth the pain," he mumbled.

"You OK, bro?" Jared asked as he walked up behind Paul.

Paul shook his head. "No. I'm a fucked-up mess. I think I always will be."

Leah walked directly into the rest room and locked herself into a stall. She had vowed never to shed another tear over Paul and yet here she was, once again, a blubbering fool. She unrolled some toilet paper and tore it off to blow her nose, muttering, "Damnit," as she sat down on the toilet and put her head into her hands. Paul had told her one time to be proud and strong. Her strength was one thing that drew him to her. Where was that strength now that she really needed it?