"SON OF A BITCHFUCK."

JD said amusedly with a rare outright leer, "Interesting vocabulary, Per."

"You can just shut your mouth." The Irishman snapped, staring at the spot on his neck where the smaller man had bitten him. "I knew someone like you had to have their quirks but damn. Right in the middle of a snog session, seriously, Johanna?" Dr. Cox's voice was a bit higher than usual, "I think you drew blood."

JD pulled back with a raised brow, bemused. "I figured the almighty demon hunter-slash-world's-best-damn-doctor could handle a bit of rough foreplay."

"I figured you weren't as sadistic as all the other demons!" Perry shot back before he could stop himself.

At JD's look at hurt, he quickly said, "I didn't… mean, that." He struggled a bit to get the words out; Jesus H. Cox never apologized. Until now.

JD let out a breath. "I know you didn't." He replied in a simple, emotionless tone that alarmed Perry more than a bit.

"…Good. Now, where were we--?"

"Is that always going to come between us?" JD asked suddenly, cutting the redhead off mid-sentence. His large blue doe eyes were filled with a sudden guardedness, and Perry froze as the question registered.

"No." The answer came out less confident than he'd wanted it to.

"I see."

Perry bared his teeth-- not at JD, but at himself. "No. No kid, you do nawt."

"I think I do." JD said with full certainty. It made Perry's muscles tense, how just knowing the usual near-naïve demon was, "You were taught for years never to trust a demon, and to kill them on sight. It's been engraved and drilled into your brain, and you won't be forgetting it anytime soon. You think I don't notice how you flinch when I try to hold your hand? I say try because sometimes you don't let me."

The words stung. "But you were human." Perry protested angrily.

"Once."

Perry insisted, "You still are."

"To a degree." JD allowed with a tiny nod.

"Doesn't change anything."

"Except it changes everything."

"Newbie." Perry growled warningly.

And then JD was JD again-- or at least he seemed to be. "Perry." He bent to nip at the Irishman's neck again.

Perry jerked away, perhaps a bit too quickly. "Don't you dare try and change the subject, or I'll strangle you with your own intestines. Unless they grow back."

The smile slid off JD's face in an instant. "Douche."

"Subject-changer. You brought it up."

"You tried to screw me in the janitor's closet." JD countered, making a motion to the small room surrounding them.

"Perfectly justifiable. You pouted. Without permission."

"Pfft."

"Oh, and kid?"

"Hmm?"

Perry's tone became significantly softer, "Turtlehead's gonna be fine. He just needs to heal."

For a second, JD's lip quivered, and quietly, he said, "Figured out why I even let you jump me in this craphole closet, did you? With all the germs and the dirty stuff and bleh."

"If you need something to take your mind off it…" Perry trailed off.

Sincerely, JD smiled, "Thanks."

And now for something completely different...

"Turk's going to be fine, Carla!" Elliot insisted, for the umpteenth time that day. "They'd let you visit but they don't want him to put any pressure on his broken ribs."

Carla's mouth thinned but she reluctantly gave up-- for now, still glaring, "How is the government planning to cover this up? Aliens?"

The Janitor interjected, leaning forward on his mop, (and holy hell did he bring that fricking thing everywhere, not just on dates?! Elliot wondered.) "Squirrel Army invasion?" He said it as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

Elliot gave him a strange look but answered anyway, "I have no idea whatsoever."

"Wonderful." Carla deadpanned.

"Fuck." Perry gasped, flushing red.

JD glanced up at him slyly, chiding, "And there you go with the cursing again." His voice was muffled, for his mouth was full. Very full.

This was meant to be vague for a reason, kiddies.

"They're gonna start asking us since we're the people closest to Turk." Elliot pointed out. "We have to come up with something. We can't just outright say, 'We're demon hunters plus one Shifter whose destinies are to save the world from Satan because that's what Heaven planned for us and yes we're saying this even though we know that half the United States population doesn't even believe in Heaven or Hell!'" The blonde said in one breath.

The Janitor didn't understand a single word she said. Carla, who understood Connecticutian, translated it for him. Once he understood, his mouth formed an "Oh." shape.

Elliot was a little bit more than flustered, needless to say. She straightened in her seat on Carla and Turk's couch, crossing her arms over her chest and blowing the bangs out of her eyes haughtily. Fricking people needed to learn clear English.

"Ben, we're gonna need a taxi."

"What do you expect me to do about it, Danny?" Ben shot back, annoyed at being interrupted while fiddling with his new Kodak camera, which he'd gotten from a drugstore a few towns back.

"I dunno!" Dan threw up his arms in frustration, "You're the one with the camera! Make yourself look important-- like you're goin' to a supermodel photo shoot or somethin'."

Jordan threw in her two cents, "I'll be the model."

Molly opened her mouth.

"Not you. You're not pretty enough."

Molly closed it.

Ben gave his sister a look, "Sis, that wasn't very nice."

"I don't care. If Danni didn't care when you said stealing toy trucks from the other kids wasn't nice then why would I?"

A little cautiously, Ben said, "…There are no toy trucks here, Jordan."

"Hey!" Dan cried indignantly, "I've never stolen any toy trucks in my life!"

Jordan snapped, rounding on the elder Dorian, "Not YOU, Gonads. Our sister Danielle. She's dead."

"Oh…"

"I'm gonna kill you, Sally-Anne."

"As if you could."

"That was too early, dammit."

"You seemed to enjoy it."

"…"

"…"

"I'm gonna kill you."

"I didn't realize I was so good at blow--"

"Shut your mouth."

"…And you said you didn't spoon-- OW! What's with the ear-flicking?!"

And Lucifer?

He was not pleased. Not at all. In fact, he was so displeased, that he took the job of punishing Artik himself. Well, he did, before he got an idea. A most devilish idea, and yes, that was a pun.

Jonathon's little friends, most likely, had not seen their precious JD's true nature yet.

"Artik, I have another job for you."

A/N: I updated! I actually had fun writing this, even more than usual. I'm sorry about how long it takes me to update nowadays-- school's a bitch. Review, to show you're still with me even after all this? Won't blame you if you're not.