Chapter 8

"Mister Clifford will see you now, sir."

Artemis turned to the bowing butler. He allowed a cruel smile to curl his lips. "Oh, he will now, will he? For his health, this is good." He gestured gallantly to the wide-eyed servant. "Lead the way, my good man."

They were quickly escorted into a large dining room where the butler took his leave. He had never seen a genius so young – and so corpse-like. It even topped the little green man that had been seen scurrying around as if on a mission from Mars. Surely this job was no longer worth the eighty thousand a year it paid him.

Artemis was left to face Rich Clifford, who was seated at the far end of the long mahogany table. The security expert was grinning from ear to ear. "Well, well, well, Master Artemis, we meet again. I do hope it isn't for the last time. Things just keep getting more and more interesting with every encounter."

Artemis felt Butler shift his weight behind him although he didn't see it. The sixth sense came from fourteen years of partnership. Artemis needed all the strength he had not to fly at Rich, grab him by the throat, and demand his friends back.

Instead he arched an eyebrow calmly, almost playfully, at the security expert. "Indeed they do, Mister Rich. So interesting, in fact, that I appear to have lost something of mine to some very oddly dressed men outside your estate. My, ah, interest is increasing by the minute. So perhaps we could review what exactly is going on before we return to negotiating your business deal."

Rich laughed and leaned back in his chair. "Master Artemis, you are always so amusing. What could you have possibly lost? I admit I do feel a bit insulted with your reference to oddly dressed men. I employ only the finest tailors for my employees, as you should know."

"Do your tailors recommend cam foil?" Artemis asked dryly. "Believe it or not, Rich, I have extensive experience in the fairy world. I can detect stealth tactics easily. You sent out men to capture my friends. Why?"

"Come on, Artemis, you're smarter than that. You know perfectly well why I kidnapped them. I've been looking over my finances and, well, I've decided I don't want to part with five million in gold just yet." He smirked. "Sorry. I assume your friends mean more to you than five million."

"Suppose they don't."

Rich's face darkened. "In that case they are completely worthless, as I have no use for them. And I dispose of things I have no use for in a very thorough way."

Artemis drew a deep breath. He had to be careful. "There's no need for that, Rich. Don't hurt them. We can work something out. You want my help for free, correct?"

"Fowl, I'm inside the house," the high female voice of Corporal Plank suddenly said in his ear. "I'm looking for Gland now."

Artemis tried not to show a change of expression. With Plank's help he had disassembled her helmet enough to create two makeshift earpieces, one for himself and one for Butler. They only worked at short range – probably less than a kilometre – and had the tendency to give off small electric shocks every time contact was established.

Unfortunately the earpieces were one-way – Plank could talk to them but they couldn't talk to her. Artemis had to trust that her training would be enough to compensate for anything that came up. The plan was for her to prowl around Rich's house and find out anything she could. Rich had apparently given an unconditional invitation to enter the house since Plank had experienced no problems.

To recover his focus Artemis spoke again, although to Rich it would seem completely unnecessary. It was something that would have made Artemis suspicious. He could only hope Rich wouldn't pick up on it. "Very tricky, Rich, playing the game that way. But let me ask you: what would you have done if there had been no convenient comrades to ransom? Would you have paid me?"

It was a random question invented as a cover-up, but now that he had asked it the idea nagged at him. Rich was smarter than to just pay off someone; he was the type to cheat his business partners. He couldn't have known in advance that Root and Holly, who just happened to be two of Artemis' closest friends, would accompany him. And what about the London tape the commander had mentioned? Gland should have told Rich that using a lot of fairy-related words would draw Foaly's attention, attention Rich wouldn't want to attract. Yet Rich had spewed fairy terms out at their meeting like he was getting paid by the word.

The man was speaking again. "What does that matter to you, Fowl? This is the situation now. I suggest you focus on it."

He's trying to distract me, Artemis realized. He's worried that my question will lead me to an answer. But what answer? His earpiece snapped again and he involuntarily winced. "I followed a guard down to the basement, Fowl. The sensors must not be picking me up. We're entering what looks like a lab."

Rich frowned. "What's wrong? You winced."

"Did I?" said Artemis smoothly, walking over to a chair and taking a seat. Another cover-up. He had to get it together. "I have a lot of reasons to wince, being caught in a situation like this. Where's Gland?"

"He's finishing with the prisoners," Rich said, pouring himself a glass of water from a tall pitcher. "No need for you to have a face to go with the name. Now, are you going to cooperate with me?"

"I suppose I have no choice," Artemis said automatically, busy listening to Plank's description of the lab. "You have me over a barrel."

"The guard's joining a couple of others," Plank reported, hushed and nervous. "They're talking about prisoners. It sounds like they have more than the commander and captain. One of them is going over to a big steel door. He's unlocking it. It looks like one of your human bank safes. Oh, Frond..."

Artemis almost exclaimed "What?" but caught himself in time. Theatrics and elaboration seemed to be in Plank's character. He would simply have to wait until she felt like telling him what she'd seen.

She felt like telling him at the exact moment that Rich felt like hitting the table loudly with his hand. "Oh gods, Artemis, it's a troll! They have a troll here!"

Artemis' response to the mental shock combined with the loud noise was a little jump. Thank goodness Rich had provided him with an alibi. "Would you please not do that?" Artemis asked irritably, shifting in his chair. "My nerves are frayed as it is."

"Sorry," Rich chuckled. "I got excited when you admitted your helplessness. I guess it's a historical moment when the great Artemis Fowl surrenders."

And you're not about to make history. "Very well, Rich. I suppose there's no chance of you letting us go."

That received a derisive laugh. Rich certainly was a happy criminal. "Absolutely not. But I will provide you with beautiful guest quarters, timed locks and all."

Artemis processed the information automatically, preferring to pay attention to Plank's frantic whispers while Rich rambled on.

"They have at least three trolls here, Fowl. All sedated. There's Gland. He's going over to another steel door. Oh, no. It's the commander! He's unconscious. One of the guards is drawing blood. Another door. Captain Short. Same procedure. Okay, I'm checking out some blueprints in another room."

Artemis rubbed his thumb and index finger together in gentle circles to calm his anxiety. At least they were alive. Rich smirked. "So I'll require your presence tonight at supper to discuss plans. That gives you a few hours to think over your response. I hope that suits you."

"Artemis, I – I don't know if I'm reading this right. I mean, I'm no scientist," Plank gulped. Artemis vowed to shake some rapidity into her when they next met. "It looks like Rich is planning some kind of elaborate DNA-combining scheme. You were right. He's not naive. He's going to create some kind of incredible security guard out of the strength of trolls, the magic of elves, and the physical make-up of humans. It's the perfect combination for a super Mud Man. And with fairy technology he could probably pull it off. Oh Artemis, what are we going to do?"

Artemis pushed back his chair and stood, smiling frostily at Rich. "Your proposal suits me perfectly, Rich," he said, giving his best vampire grin. "Thinking is my forte, after all."