"I hate you, Jordan."

"I know."

Dan's glare was piercing but it had no effect on the woman. "You told me to go find my brother, but you oh-so-convienently left out the part that they were having... relations."

She gave him a wide, fake smile. "Why, yes I did, Gonads." The expression dropped like an anveil, "Your point?"

"...If I didn't know it would just grow back, I'd dismember you right now." Dan shuddered violently, crossed his arms across his chest and almost seemed to curl in on himself. "I'm scarred for life. I swear to God, I will never, EVER get that image out of my brain..."

Jordan deadpanned, "Then my immortal life is complete." She swiftly turned and nodded her head towards the door. "I don't think they'll be 'finishing up' anytime soon, anyway." She paused. "Not that I care."

"Please, don't tell me." Turk whimpered, vainly covering one ear with his good hand and shoving his other ear against his shoulder in an attempt to drown out the blonde demoness's words.

Molly smiled at him, oblivious; that or she just didn't care. "It's true. Daniel shadowmorphed in on Percival and Jonathon having-"

"If you're done traumatizing my husband," Carla cut in, amused.

There was no way to describe Elliot's expression other than she thought she had just struck pure gold.

Molly turned suddenly towards the door and chirped, "Ah, here they come!"

Turk winced, paling in dismay as he could hear the shouting even with his ears covered, growing ever near.

"What the HELL were you thinking, Dan-?"

"Not my fault! Jordan tricked me!"

"Yeah, but that's Jordan! You should've known better than to listen to her!"

Cox's voice suddenly cut in, barking, "Ladies, ladies! It's not the first time someone's stumbled in on us getting... ugh... 'touchy-feely,' let it go!"

"Get off it, Perry!" JD's voice snarked right back. Turk could just imagine the look of surprise on the redhead's face. "You planned it last time! What did Turk ever do to you?"

Turk paled even more. And he'd worked so hard to suppress that particular memory, too... He could hear the smile in Ben's voice as the demon leaned over on the couch to tell him, "Heyyy, Turk, I like this Cox dude- not the kind of guy who's afraid to speak his mind, is he?"

Turk scowled. "Unfortunately."

Ben grinned. Then he turned thoughtful. "Hey, why isn't my sis with them?"

"She left quickly after Daniel threw a fireball at her earlier." Molly told him, shamelessly eavesdropping on he and Turk's conversation.

To his credit, Ben looked hardly surprised at her intrusion. "Oh."

"So, what's the plan?" Elliot asked, stuffing her face with nacho chips. She always ate when anxious.

Ben shrugged. "Don't have one yet."

Carla's jaw went slack. "Are you kidding me?"

Ben took a gulp of his slurpee (Where the frick did that come from? Elliot wondered.) and replied, "Nooooo." Though, with his mouth full it came out more like, "Nuuuuuu."

"Wish he was." Cox's voice rumbled suddenly and Carla jumped a little. The Irishman leant against the couch, "Start thinkin', idiots."

"Why don't you?" Turk snapped, glaring at the elder doctor.

Perry's face darkened. "Don't start with me, Ghandi."

Turk opened his mouth to retort-

BANG. (Perry actually cringed a little.)

"DAMN IT, DAN!" Came a shout from outside the door to Carla and Turk's apartment, "I told you not to drop the flipping sodacans!"

"But, Johnnyyy-"

"DON'T 'BUT, JOHNNY,' ME, DAN! I am the king of butts!" Perry was pretty sure at that moment that JD was just too pissed to really care what he was saying, as long as he was yelling at Dan.

"So I saw."

Turk gavomited a little. Perry facepalmed.

"...DAN, I'm going to KILL you!"

"Anyway," Elliot huffed, forcedly ignored the ruckus outside, "We gotta figure something out."

"In case ya hadn't noticed, Barbie," Cox snapped at her, face still hidden behind his hands, "we're kinda too dysfunctional at the moment to work together."

There was more clutter of noise coming from the door, and Elliot didn't really think she wanted to know just which one of the two demon brothers were getting their asses kicked- holy frick, did they just dent the door?

A sharp whistle caught her attention. "Blondie. Focus." Cox's steely gaze glared down at her, "If you're the only one sane enough at the moment to think of something, then by God, do it!" There was a beat of silence, and then Cox groaned dramatically, "Dear sweet Zeus, did I really just call you sane?"

"It really is the apocolypse." Carla stated blandly, smirking at the wide-eyed look that crossed Perry's face for a moment before he snapped his head around to scowl at her.

Another dent appeared in the door, accompanied by a sharp yell of fury. JD really was a sight to see when angered. Elliot almost felt sorry for poor Dan...

Turk whimpered. Nothing made sense anymore!

"Blippy, hand me that screwdriver, would you?"

A fluffy red squirrel hopped onto the desk, tiny little paws with said tool outstretched. The Janitor smiled approvingly down at it and pat it's head affectionately, taking the item and setting back to work. True, he'd rather be with Pretty Blonde Doctor- er, Elliot- right now, but this was important.
If he did this right, they just may have a foolproof, safe passage to Hell.

...Well, as safe as anything involving Hell could be.

Of course, if he did this wrong, he'd be blown up the second he tried to activate it.
He took a deep breath, puffing out his chest proudly. The squirrel stared up at him with round little dark eyes, the expression in them blank. That's just a risk I'll have to take, the Janitor thought bravely.
The squirrel tilted it's head at him. Then, it went still, eyes losing their shine and it's body becoming stiff. It was almost as if it had never been alive in the first place.

The Janitor looked at it in surprise. "Out of time already?" He inquired to no one in particular. "Huh. The time limit of when my Squirrel Army can come to life is getting shorter..." He furrowed his brows in thought. "I wonder why?"

A/U: I know. You hate me. But school's out now for me! :) FINALLY! So now I can write all I want! Assuming my muse doesn't abandon me like it often does... Well, anyway; review to show you're still with this fic?