CHAPTER 26

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW A SECRET?

Paul came home from work to find Travis sitting on the floor with the saddest look on his face. Sitting down to take his boots off, he asked, "Hey, Trav. What's the matter, buddy?"

"Tyler told me my Thomas costume is too small to wear this year for Trick or Treating. I put it on anyway to show him and . . . " he pulled it out from behind him, "and it ripped," he finished in tears.

"Aw, I'm sorry. Come here, let me see it."

Travis sniffed and got up to walk over to Paul and hold the costume out to him. Paul took it and saw that it was indeed ripped, from the crotch up the back. "Maybe Emily could fix it?" Travis hiccupped.

Paul shook his head. "I don't think so, buddy. I think it's time for a new costume."

Travis brightened a little. "A new costume?"

"Yeah. Tomorrow is Saturday. We'll drive over to Wal-Mart and see what they have left, OK?"

"Thanks, Paul!" Travis said as he hugged Paul.

"You're welcome. Now, I'm hungry. Did your brother make dinner?"

"Yep. Psketti!"

Paul laughed at Travis' pronunciation. They had corrected him many times, but he just liked saying it that way. "Well, come on, let's go!"

Paul took the boys to Wal-Mart the next day, as promised, and as they were headed for the Halloween section, Paul spotted Sue holding up a baby outfit of some kind. He snuck up behind her and said, "I think that's a little small for Seth."

Sue jumped a mile and cried out as she whipped around. "Oh my God, Paul! You scared me to death!"

Paul laughed deeply and the boys joined in. Finally, Paul asked, "You got yourself in the family way, Sue?"

She looked nervous as Paul stood there waiting for her to answer and he wondered why. "No, of course not," she got out. "I, uh . . . I'm buying this for a friend at work. Who had a baby. Yeah, she had a baby and I want to give her a gift."

Paul just looked at her curiously and said, "OK, Sue, I believe you." Then he put his arm around Travis and told her, "We are on our way to pick out a new Halloween costume for Travis here. He grew out of the Thomas one Leah gave him last year."

"I ripped it," Travis said sadly.

"Oh, I'm sorry, honey," Sue said to him. "I know you loved that Thomas costume. Maybe they have a new one you can buy here."

"Maybe," Travis said slowly as he put a finger to his chin to add, "Or maybe a Transformer."

Paul smiled as he realized his little boy was growing up just a little. "Come on, guys. Let's go. Good to see you, Sue."

"You, too. Come over on Halloween so I can see the new costume."

"We will," he assured her. Paul happened to glance back in time to see her whip out her cell phone and make a call. He wondered what that was all about.

Travis did indeed go with the Transformer costume, so Optimus Prime replaced Thomas the Tank Engine. Paul was happy Travis had a new obsession, and yet rather sad to see Thomas go. They had a great time Trick or Treating again this year, except Tyler opted not to dress up. He was 12 after all and in the 8th grade. Even Paul had to admit that would have been a little lame.

They celebrated Travis' birthday two days later over at Sam and Emily's. Emily insisted saying she would really like to throw him a birthday party, so Paul let her. Frankly, he was just too tired to want to do it.

Paul had quit the job at the grocery store because construction work had actually picked up. However, he was now driving to Port Angeles every day and that was a lot farther than Forks. He left at 7:45 in the morning and didn't get home sometimes until 6:30 or 7:00 at night. Chuck had even given him a raise and he was now making $12 an hour, which was great. But he was still doing night patrols and then on the weekends, he tried to spend as much time with the boys as he could while still doing things around the house that needed done, and then he would collapse into bed at night and try his best to keep from thinking about Leah. As much as he tried to forget, she was still there . . . all the time.

So, he was more than happy to let Emily do party duty. She had invited the whole pack, along with Sue and Billy and Jared's parents, Carol and Chuck. Travis was having a ball! Paul was sure it was the first big birthday party the kid ever had. There was lots of food, of course, and a huge birthday cake and everyone spoiled Travis with a lot of new clothes and toys. Sue gave him a new winter coat, which Paul appreciated and Sam and Emily bought him the new shoes he wanted. Sue even brought one of Seth's old winter coats he had grown out of for Ty. Tyler didn't care it wasn't new. It was cool and it fit, so he was happy.

Paul did notice that Leah hadn't sent a gift. That was not like her. She always remembered the boys on their birthdays and at Christmas. Being a little worried about it, he worked his way over to Sue while Travis opened his last couple of gifts. "Sue? Is Leah OK? I noticed she didn't send a gift for Travis and that's not like her."

Sue looked a little flustered at his question. "Hmmm, no it's not like her. I know she's pretty busy now with work and everything. Maybe she just sent it late."

Paul nodded. "Yeah, maybe."

Then Sue quickly mumbled something about needing to help Emily in the kitchen and she got up and left. What is up with her? Paul wondered. Why does she always try to avoid me?

After Travis opened all his gifts he wondered over to Paul. "You didn't give me a present," he pouted.

"Oh, was I supposed to? I guess I forgot," Paul teased him. For Travis' birthday, Paul got him a bicycle. There was a dirt path between their house and Sam and Emily's and he knew he would like riding back and forth between their houses. It was a cool dirt bike, bright red. He had taken it over to Sam's house the day before the party so he could give it to him there.

Travis stuck his little lip out and Paul laughed. "Oh, come on, Trav! You think I would forget to get you a present? I got you one, but it was too big to wrap. Go open the front door." Travis' eyes got real big and he took off running for the door. Paul followed him then heard Travis yell out, "Wow! A bike!"

Paul walked out onto the porch to see Travis just standing there, staring at the bike. "What do you think, buddy? You like it?" Travis nodded. "Hey," he said as he turned him so he could see his face, "You sure? We could get something else . . . "

"No, I love it. I just . . . I don't know how to ride a bike."

Paul felt like an idiot. He hadn't even through of that! "Well, that's OK. I'll teach you. It's not that hard at all once you get the hang of it."

Travis lit up a little. "You will?"

"Sure."

Travis hugged him and said, "Thanks, Paul. It's really cool. It's my favorite present in the world."

Paul smiled at that as he let Travis go to run inside and tell everyone what he got. Paul stood up as Sam came out on the porch.

"Way to make the kid happy, bro," Sam said to Paul.

"I keep trying. It's a struggle every day, but I just keep trying."

"Well, keep it up. You're doing a good job. You'll be a good father someday."

Paul snorted. "I doubt that. All I will ever be is a big brother. I guess that will have to be enough."

A week after Travis' birthday, a package from Leah arrived in the mail. Trav opened it to find a couple of new books. One was a Transformer book and the other was a children's book on Native American legends.

She wrote inside the card:

Dear Travis,

I am so sorry this is late. I have been really busy working with real doctors and nurses and studying for some really important tests. I hope you had a great birthday!

I miss you!

Love, Leah

"Wow, cool," was Travis' response to the book on legends. "Can we read this tonight?"

"Sure, buddy," Paul answered.

Paul was happy that Leah had remembered Travis, but he still couldn't shake the feeling that something was not right about it being so late.

A couple of weeks later, Paul was going through the mail after work when he came across a plain white envelope with no return address. He didn't recognize the handwriting and wondered who it could be from as he flipped it over and ripped it open. Inside was a money order, made out to Paul in the amount of $200. It was signed by Jim Uley. There was a small note with it.

Paul,

I know it's not much, but I wanted to help you boys out. I'll try to send more when I can. I'm working in Seattle on the docks. Take care, Jim

Tyler walked into the kitchen and glanced over his shoulder. "What's that?" he asked Paul.

"This is . . . well, I don't know what the hell to make of this. It's a money order from our dad for $200. And there's a note." He held it out to Tyler who took it and sat down to read it.

"Wow. He's working and sending us money? What's this mean? He suddenly wants to be our dad now and take care of us?"

Paul snorted. "Who knows? This might be a one-time thing to help him get rid of his guilt or something. Whatever." He dropped the money order on the table and got up to get himself something to drink.

"What are you going to do with it?" Tyler asked.

Paul shrugged. "What do you think I should do with it?" he asked him as he popped the top on a Mt. Dew.

Tyler shrugged. "Spend it, I guess. I'm sure we have some bill that needs paying."

As much as he tried to hide things from Tyler, he realized Tyler wasn't stupid. He watched as Paul went over the bills every week when he got paid, and how careful he was when they shopped for groceries. Tyler even told Paul he didn't have to pay him an allowance . . . he'd understand. But Paul insisted. He earned it with all the work he did around the house and he wanted him to have some of his own spending money.

Paul sat down at the table and picked up the money order again. "I suppose we could spend it on some bill, or we could put it in the bank with your college money."

"But it's made out to you. You should spend it," Tyler argued.

"Look, Ty, I have a job. I'm working and I can pay our bills. It may be made out to me, but it's for you, too. He is your father, and if he wants to send us money, then I think he owes it to you to help you pay for college. You're smart, Ty, really smart. I want you to have a chance to go on to college and do something with your life."

"Whatever," Tyler shrugged. "I don't care. Do what you want."

"OK then. I'm putting it in the bank. End of discussion. So, what's for dinner? It smells great."

"Um, I got really brave today and looked through Grandma's recipes and I found the one for her meatloaf. I hope it turns out OK. I know how much you liked it, and you miss it . . . I guess I wanted to make it for you."

Paul was blown away by this kid. He had such a huge heart and always wanted to make everyone else happy. "Wow, thanks Ty. That sounds really good. I can't wait to try it. How long till dinner?"

Tyler checked the timer on the oven. "17 minutes."

"Good. That gives me time to shower before we eat." Paul stood then scooped up the mail he wanted to keep, along with the money order, to put in the box on top of the fridge he kept there for bills until payday. Then he turned to Ty and said, "I'll be back."

As he stood in the shower, Paul thought about that money order and what it might mean. He wasn't real sure he wanted any kind of a relationship with his father. He had learned from his past that neither of his parents were to be trusted. He also remembered the promise he made to Tyler to protect him and keep him safe, and he knew that was one promise he would do everything in his power to keep. So, until he knew what his dad was up to, he would have to try harder to keep Tyler out of it.

Thanksgiving came and during the big feast, Emily announced she was pregnant. Everyone congratulated her and Sam and seemed happy for the both of them. Travis was all excited that he would have a new baby to play with. Claire was four now, and getting too independent for him to boss around.

Paul especially enjoyed when Travis sat beside Emily and asked her a series of questions about the baby.

"So when will the baby get here?" Travis asked.

"Sometime around the first of June."

"Well, where is the baby now?"

"In my tummy," Emily explained as she put her hand over her belly. "It will grow in there until it's big enough to be born. My belly will get a lot bigger."

Travis' eyebrows furrowed as he thought hard about that. "How did it get there? Did you swallow it?"

Emily tried hard not to laugh. "No, sweetie, I didn't swallow it. It's kind of hard to explain so you can understand, but it has to do with me and Sam being married and sleeping together. Let's leave it at that, OK?"

Paul snickered at her and she shot him a look and added, "Your big brother can explain it to you when you get a little bigger."

Paul grinned as he said, "Well played, Em."

Emily laughed at that and hugged Travis to her. "You know Travis, my little baby will need someone around that's older to teach it some things. I hope you'll be around to help. Will you?"

Paul loved how Travis shrugged and said, "Yeah, I guess." Then he said, "I'll go find Claire and make sure she's not in trouble."

"Thanks, honey," Emily said as Travis got up and ran off.

Paul watched him go then said to Emily, "You will be a great mom. You are so good with the boys."

"They have been good practice," she said with a smile. "Tyler even offered to babysit for me. I told him I would consider it. He has to be the most responsible 12-year-old I've ever met."

"Yeah. He had it rough living with Doreen. He practically raised Travis for the first 6 years of his life," Paul shared with her.

"Well, he's lucky to have you now," Emily said as she patted his arm.

"Thanks, Em, but I think that I'm the one that's lucky to have them. If I had to live all alone right now . . ." without Leah, he almost added.

"Still haven't heard from her, huh?"

Paul sighed, "Em, I can't talk . . . "

"Yeah, I know, you can't talk about it. Paul, one of these days, you're going to have to get off your ass and just tell Leah you want to marry her. She'll be done with school in a few short months and then she'll be back here where she belongs. You better have a ring bought by the time she gets back."

Paul actually laughed out loud. "Like it's that easy. We're talking about Leah here. You know how stubborn she can be."

Emily smiled and put her hand on his arm. "It is that easy. You love her, she loves you. What else is there? This life we have is short, Paul. Way too short to be so miserable. Just marry her and end this misery for all of us, will you?"

Paul smiled and answered, "I will do my best."

Two weeks before Christmas, Paul was out on patrol with Seth, Embry and Collin. They had heard a couple of backpackers were killed night before last, and they were running extra patrols to make sure it really was a bear and not any straggler bloodsuckers. Paul hadn't sunk his teeth into a leech for way too long. He was really hoping they would come across one . . . he needed to get rid of some of his anger and frustration.

Paul had settled into a routine . . . working, taking care of the boys . . . it helped him forget Leah for awhile. And yet, she was always there, haunting him. It was driving him crazy that she wouldn't talk to him, or write to him. He broke down right after his little talk with Emily at Thanksgiving and called her. The first few times, she didn't answer. Then finally, she answered and when she realized it was him calling, she quickly said, "I'm sorry, Paul. I just can't talk right now," and hung up. He never tried again.

For awhile he wondered if she was seeing someone else. That would explain why she wouldn't stay in contact, why she missed Trav's birthday . . . why she wouldn't talk to him on the phone. If that was it, he just wished she'd say so and get it over with. But then, his body filled with rage at the thought of another guy kissing her lips and touching her body, making her cry out . . .

"Paul, for God's sake, knock it off, will ya? She's not seeing someone else. She's just busy, OK?" Seth interjected.

"I'm sorry, Seth, but your sister is making me so fucking crazy! I have to see her. We have to resolve this shit between us. I can't take it anymore. She's coming home for Christmas, right? That's what I heard from Sam."

"Yeah, Mom is leaving next week to pick them up and bring th . . . "

"Them? She is seeing someone! How could you lie to me about that? Damnit, Seth!" Paul snarled at him and nipped at him.

"Paul! Leave him alone!" Embry jumped in between them. "We're supposed to be hunting down bloodsuckers, not fighting each other."

"I swear Seth you better tell me the truth right now! It's someone from school, isn't it? Damnit! Why won't she tell me? Why is she hiding it?" Paul insisted.

Seth was panicking and trying hard to keep it out of his head . . .his mom and Leah fighting when they helped her move. . . Leah and her big pregnant belly laughing at him because he was hungry. . . then Sue showing him pictures of the baby . . . but it was too late.

"Leah . . . a baby?" Paul suddenly remembered seeing Sue hold up that baby outfit in Wal-Mart that day and how nervous she had been. "Leah was pregnant? She had a baby?" Then he quickly counted back and realized . . . those nights they spent together in January . . . "MY baby? Leah had MY baby?"

"Yes, Paul. Leah had the baby October 7th. She got all stubborn and decided to be independent and not tell you. She didn't even tell Mom and me until August! Mom has been bitching at her to tell you, but . . . Paul, I'm sorry. I don't why she wanted to keep it a secret, but if she knows you found out from me, she'll kill me."

Paul phased back into his human body to be able to work through this. He pulled his shorts on and started pacing back and forth in complete shock. Leah had a baby . . . a baby! And she didn't tell me. That means when she was home in May . . . that night on the cliff when she ran . . . she was pregnant then and didn't tell me! For God's sake, why would she keep this from me? I love her more than anyone in this world! I would do anything for her. Why would she not trust me?

Seth had phased and now walked up behind him. "Look, Idon't know why she didn't tell you. She was all fired up about finishing her degree and not disappointing the Tribal Council, blah, blah, blah. Mom told her to screw the degree, that this baby was more important, but she just wouldn't listen."

"I'll make her listen, damnit!" Paul shouted as he wheeled around to face Seth. "This is a baby we're talking about!" Then he stopped as he realized what he just said. "Oh my God, I'm a father. Seth, I'm someone's dad. I don't even know if it's a boy or a girl."

Seth could see how distraught Paul was and for the first time in his life he was ashamed of his sister for keeping this from him. Seth smiled as he said, "A boy. She named him Noah Paul Jacobs."

Paul thought about that then grinned. "A boy. I have a . . . I have a son. And she named him after me?"

"Yeah, poor kid. He looks just like you, too."

"He does?"

"Well, I still haven't seen him except in pictures, but Mom was there when he was born and she says he looks just like you."

"Um, I gotta go . . . I have to go," Paul muttered. Then he looked at Seth with a grin and shocked the hell out of him by pulling him in for a bro hug, pounding him on the back as he said, "I know she'll kick your ass, but thanks, bro. Thanks for letting me know." Then Paul turned and took off, running through the woods as fast as he could go. Seth smiled and wished he could see his sister's face when for once, someone else got the best of her.

Paul ran into the house and went straight to the phone. "Chuck? It's Paul. Look, I can't really explain too much right now, but I have to take the next few days off. I really hate to ask, but it's an emergency."

"Is it one of the boys?"

"Um, not my brothers, no. I, uh, I just found out that I'm a father. I'll explain later, but I am leaving right away to drive to Spokane and meet my son. And to find out why the hell Leah didn't tell me."

"Wow . . . uh, sure. You go, and don't worry about your job. You want us to take the boys?"

"I think Emily will want to take them, but thanks."

"You got it. Good luck!"

"Thanks, Chuck." Paul hung up and immediately called Sam and asked if the boys could stay there.

"Of course, what's up?" Paul quickly told him what he told Chuck.

"Are you shitting me? I thought Leah couldn't . . . "

"Uh, yeah, so did I. But she did, and I gotta go."

"I completely get that. Look, I'll come and get the boys. You pack and get ready to go."

"Thanks, Sam. I owe you one."

Hanging up, Paul hurried to his room to dig in the closet for some kind of bag to pack. Tyler walked in and asked, "What the hell is going on, Paul?"

"Ty, I gotta go. I'm leaving for a few days and Sam is on his way over to pick you guys up and take you home to stay with them."

"What? Where are you going?" Paul was frantically pulling clothes out of the dresser and shoving them in duffle bag when Tyler grabbed his arm. "Paul! Stop! Where the hell are you going?"

Paul stopped and looked at him. "Tyler, I just found out . . ." he sat down on the bed, "I'm a father."

Tyler's eyes bugged out. "What?"

"Leah had a baby and didn't tell me. I just found out from Seth."

Tyler sat down beside Paul on the bed and the two of them just stared at the floor. "Why wouldn't she tell you something like that?"

"I don't know, but that's what I'm going to find out. I'm leaving right away, Ty. I'm driving all the way to Spokane tonight to find out what the hell is going on."

"Is it a boy or a girl?"

Paul grinned. "A boy. Noah Paul Jacobs."

Tyler grinned. "Oh my God, you're a dad."

"I know, right?" Paul laughed.

"Are you going to marry her?"

"You bet your ass I am. Of course, Leah is so stubborn, I'm sure she'll fight me on it. But this is one fight she won't win."

Tyler stood up and started shoving Paul's clothes into the bag. "Don't forget your toothbrush." Paul laughed and ran to the bathroom. "And deodorant!" Tyler added.

When Paul came back he told Ty, "Go pack your own bag and one for your brother. Then wake him up, OK?"

With a quick nod, Tyler ran to his room to do what his brother asked.

Paul was packed and then realized he needed some money. Taking the gray box that held his grandma's important papers down off of the closet shelf, Paul took out an envelope of cash that he kept there for emergencies. This was an emergency if ever there was one. He thumbed through it quickly and found there was $300 in there. Shoving it into his pocket, Paul picked up his bag and walked out to the living room just as Sam came through the door.

"Thanks, Sam."

"No problem. So you're a dad. Poor kid." Paul rolled his eyes. "Boy or girl?"

"Boy. Noah Paul Jacobs."

Sam grinned and patted him hard on the back. "She gave him your last name?" Paul nodded. "Well, that's a good sign. Way to go, bro. Bring them home, will ya?"

"I am damn sure gonna try."

Tyler came out of their room dragging a sleepy Travis behind him. "Where are we going?" he asked sleepily.

Paul bent down and said, "Travis, I have to go away for a little bit. I promise I won't be gone long, and I will bring you a really cool present for Christmas."

"You will?"

"Yes. I'm going to bring Leah home. And our baby."

"A baby?"

"Yeah, buddy. I'm a dad. Leah had a baby. A little boy. You're an uncle." He could see Travis was completely confused. "Listen, Tyler will explain it to you tomorrow. Right now, you're going to go home with Sam, OK?"

"I don't want you to go, Paul. I'll miss you," Travis whined as he rubbed his eyes.

Paul hugged him close and kissed him on the head. "I know. I'll miss you, too." He let Travis go with a little shove then Sam reached down and picked him up to carry him to the car.

Paul picked up his bag, turned off the lights and locked the door behind them. "You know where the key in the back is, right Ty?" Tyler nodded. "OK, if you need something, use that key. I'll call you when I get there. You got my cell number?"

"Yes, Paul, we're fine. Get the hell out of here, will ya?" Tyler told him.

Paul smiled and quickly hugged Tyler then headed for his truck. He waved as Sam drove off then he started the engine and said softly, "Be ready, Leah. Here I come."