Disclaimer: the

Oh, fine, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I never get to have any fun.

Yami and friends, plus Mokuba, Kaiba, and Tea, were standing around at the coast of Japan... somewhere, preparing to board the cruise ship.

"Hey, does anyone know what city this is?" asked Tea to her friends.

"Some place call 'Nowhere.'" Mokuba answered.

"Really?" Tristan asked, trying to think of where he had heard that before. He later found that he had heard it from Courage, the Cowardly Dog.

"Yeah, I think this section of the city is called 'Bumfuck.'"

"Bumfuck, Nowhere?" Joey scoffed.

"My, what a strange name," Yami yawned.

"Are you geeks going to board the ship or not?" Kaiba barked.

Before the rest of the group could ignore Kaiba, Bakura suddenly popped up. "Hey, guys!"

Everyone did a double take. "Bakura?"

"You aren't coming, you lost the wrestling match!" Joey bitched. "In fact, if I recall, I broke your neck!"

"Yeah, and I hit you so hard that you went crying to your mommy all the way back to hell!" Tristan added.

"And WHERE IS MY SISTER?"

"You guys miscounted, I'm allowed to come because five others besides Mokuba are allowed. You nitwits counted four others."

"Who are calling nitwit?" Tristan asked stupidly.

"Yeah, and where is my sister?" Joey repeated.

"At her house. Durr."

"GET YOUR STINKING ASSES ON THE SHIP!" screamed a certain high-strung CEO from behind.

As the Yu-Gi-Oh dudes proceeded to get their stinking asses on the ship, they noticed a lot of undesirable people on the ship. No, not Flyleaf and Army of Anyone, although they would be less desirable than these guys.

"Marik and Pegasus?" Yami exclaimed. "What are YOU guys doing here?"

"Well, we're standing here, minding our own business," drawled Pegasus. "Would you like to mind my business for me?"

"Um. Ew. No."

"Aww, why not?"

"Because you're a dude."

"So?"

"Uh... I'm straight."

"Oh... pussy."

A little while later, Tea walked over to Marik. "Marik, may I mind your business?"

"Um. Ew. No."

"Aww, why not?"

"Because you're a chick."

"So?"

"Uh... I'm gay."

"Oh... dick."

Yami sighed, already bored with all the dumb shit. "You guys argue all you want, I'm going to my room to relax."

"May I come?" asked Tea.

"Sure, if you just want to sit around and watch me sleep."

"Sounds great! Don't snore too loudly!"

"Don't tell me my business, Devil Woman!"

Yami walked off with Tea, who was mesmerized by Yami's sexy man-bitch ass.

What the... what the fuck is wrong with me?

Anyway, the dudes just sort of stood around, looking at the water... looking at the waves, rocking the boat, sunset only several hours away. Rocking... rocking... rocking...

After the guys were done being seasick and vomiting, they discussed things. No, nothing important or card-game oriented. Go back to scraping chicken out of your belly button with a spork if that's what you want. During the discussion, it was revealed that Mai was somehow also on the ship.

"Well, Pegasus and Marik, you guys can stand around and enjoy each other, we're going to go find Mai and have slutty sex with her." Joey said, all macho-like.

Marik suddenly fell to the ground, writhing around as if taken by some kind of demon... or worse.

"What's his problem?" Tristan asked Pegasus.

"Well, he's either giving me a lap dance, or he's turning into his yami."

"Oh, dear," muttered Bakura.

"Bakura, don't open your yap unless you have something smart or cool to say," Joey said, irritated with the second-banana being allowed any dialogue.

"Piss off, you stupid ass wank."

Marik got back up, with spiky hair and a VERY RUDE looking face.

"Yami-Marik!" gasped Joey.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Yes. Yes, I am. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

"Great," moaned Pegasus, "Yami-Marik hates me."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That's because you keep asking me if I want to have sex with you! Just because you and Marik got married, doesn't mean I have to be part of it! Now, where's Mai, I'm gonna show her 'Mai' love! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

Yami-Marik ran off to find Mai, Joey and Tristan tried desperately to catch up with him. Meanwhile, Tea came back after being rejected by Yami and being thrown out for trying to watch Boohbah while Yami was trying to sleep. She decided to try to un-gay Pegasus.

"Come on, Peggy, I'm right here and willing."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

Tea whined more and more and more. "I thought gay guys related to girls more, wouldn't that mean that girls are sexually attractive to them?"

Pegasus face faulted. "Tea Gardner, let me quote what a wise man once said in an Adam Sandler movie: what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your foolish, intolerant sentence were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. I am now dumber for having heard to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

"Goddamnit, I'm going to go find Kaiba!" Tea stormed off.

"You realize he hates you, right?" Pegasus called after her.

"I DON'T CARE! I'M DESPERATE!"

"Honey, we know that."

"SHUT YOUR STINKIN' WINKIN' JAR-JAR BINKSIN' MOULTH!"

Tea stormed off, in anger. Rage. Fury. PMS. Whateevr you want to call it, that's what she walked away with.

Pegasus coolly shook his head. "Bitch, please."

Pegasus turned around and just happened to notice that the ship was headed towards a monster-ass storm.

"OH SHI-"

TO BE CONTINUED OH MY GOD WHAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN NEXT?