I do not own Twilight.

New Year's Resolution: Update my stories as often as I can. Sorry guys. :)

I looked up at Edward, and saw the sudden hurt emotion that was playing on his face.

I can take that away, the doubt, the hurt, the confusion.

But could I?

Bella POV

''So I think I want to show Edward my journal,'' I told Alice and Rosalie, who turned to look away from the bathroom mirror to stare at me in pure astonishment.

After everyone else finally woke up, and interrupted the talk between Edward and myself, I had been trying to get a few minutes alone with Alice and Rosalie so that I could explain to them what I was thinking, but everywhere I went, there was Edward.

Of course, that was the plan of the assignment, but I realized why sometimes woman just needed a time away from their partners, to just have a girl's night, but this proved to be impossible here.

I had even considered trying whispering to Alice and Rosalie, but gave up on the idea pretty quickly. Edward had kept a close eye on me, probably because I was trying to avoid talking to him or to anybody else really, with the exception of Ali and Rose who weren't talking, because I didn't want him to mess up with the ramblings going on inside my head.

So, finally Edward went to the bathroom, and I had considered taking my opportunity then, but of course couldn't because Jasper and Emmett were there still. Although, that wasn't my opportunity to talk to him, I came up with a brilliant plan: go to the bathroom with Alice and Rosalie.

It worked, and now both my best friends were staring at me like I had grown a third head. Nice, I know.

''You want to do what?'' Rosalie asked, as if she heard wrong the previous time, I rolled my eyes.

''I want to show Edward. I really do,'' I responded sincerely.

They both sighed and returned to looking at the mirror, but not in the ignorant kind of way, but in the way that clearly said go on.

''Why though? Why are you suddenly so sure that you want to show him? Is there something that made you decide?'' Alice asked.

I hesitated on telling them the real reason, but after glares of my two friends who noticed me hesitate, I relented, and explained everything that occurred that morning.

''So you want to prove to him that you thought of him during that time period, because he doesn't trust you?'' Rosalie asked angrily.

I shook my head. I knew Rosalie would come up to that conclusion, and that was part of the reason why I had hesitated to explain my reasoning's. I didn't want them to think that I felt like I had to prove to him what my feelings where, even though it was something like that.

I just truly just wanted to tell Edward what I went through those years so he wouldn't have to doubt me, I wanted him to trust me, and if I had to show him my notebook in order to get that opportunity, then so be it.

''Are you sure though?'' Alice asked, and hurried to explain herself when I threw her a look. ''I mean, I respect your choice and everything, but...that's something really private for you, you sure you want to throw it out there?''

I nodded. ''Yes.''

''Bella, I get where you are coming from, I truly do, but I don't think that's a good idea,'' Rosalie tried to reason.

''But it is, Rose! I want to show him all of me. You guys know how much I care about him. I don't want him to doubt my feelings-''

''And that right there is my point! If he truly cares about you, then he shouldn't doubt your feelings!'' Rosalie interrupted.

''He didn't really doubt my feelings now, more of what my feelings where towards him all these years that we have been apart.''

''Well, maybe you should-''

''Stop arguing!''

''We are not arguing, just disagreeing!'' Rosalie and I screamed at the same time at Alice's remark.

''Well, it sure does sound like it!''

I was about to respond when the lady who stood at the door of the bathroom yelled out to us to hurry it up.

''This argument is not over,'' Rosalie said looking at me.

''Gosh, Rose! I though you said you both weren't arguing!''

XXX

I can do this. I can do this. God, who the heck am I kidding!

I have two options, really. One, to give the notebook to Edward now and stand next to him while he reads it, but I didn't really consider that a good option. What if he thought I had stalker tendencies and broke up with me, but that meant that I will still have to be next to him every single second, so I'm exaggerating a little bit, and endure the humiliation that came along with it.

Yeah, because that would be just awesome, right?

Which brought me to idea numero dos: be the coward I was and give it to him as soon as we get out of the freaking school, and never speak to him again unless he starts a conversation.

Number two it is.

No! Bella, you can do this, you can do-

''Bella are you feeling okay?''

I turned to Edward who was eyeing me with a concerned look in his face from next to me.

I faked a smile and nodded, but Edward of course knew me better than that.

''I know there is something going on in that beautiful head of yours, and I bet I know what it is.''

I froze and turned to look at him. Of course he had already figured it out, he knew me better than I knew myself.

''What do you mean?'' I asked quietly.

''It's about what we discussed a few days ago, right?''

I opened my mouth to deny it, a reflex reaction really, but he just stared at me as if daring me to lie to him, but I couldn't. I just kept my mouth shut, not daring to say anything.

''Bella, I'm sorry-''

''I don't need you to apologize,'' I interrupted him.

Edward rolled his eyes and kept on going as if I hadn't interrupted him in the first place. ''What I did was completely out of line, I blamed you for something-''

''Don't apologize, really!''

''-that you didn't do, my emotions got a hold of me, please forgive me?''

I sighed. ''Edward I told you that there is nothing that you feel like you have to apologize for, okay? It was just a little argument, let's not make more of it, please?''

He nodded and hugged me. ''I'm sorry still. It was wrong of me to judge you base on the time we spent together. It doesn't matter to me that you didn't think of me during that time, because we had broken up and...I don't blame you.''

But the hurt was still there in his voice, and in that moment I made up my mind that I was going to show Edward the truth.

Whether Rosalie or agreed or not.

:) So sorry again. Thanks to my wonderful beta!