Disclaimer: I just had a life and death experience with my junk computer's toolbar. Make your own "nedthejanitor doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh" disclaimer.

"OH, LORD, A HUGE WAVE IS COMING FOR THE SHIP!" squealed Pegasus like a pig in bed who regularly gets fucked by an Egyptian. "I'D BETTER GO AS FAST AS I CAN TO GET LIFE RAFTS! OH, THIS IS A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH!"

Pegasus then pranced to the life rafts as though he was playing hopscotch, but alas, it was too late. The massive wave nailed the ship like it was a whore in Bigpenisland. The ship was thrown all the way to a nearby island, a desolate one with no water whatsoever. No, not Bigpenisland. Unfortunately, Pegasus didn't survive the wave, so we-

"I'm fine! Hey, I think I lost a pound! My butt will look even CUTER!"

Damn, I was hoping I could write you out. Well, you're in the summary, so I guess I would've had to change that, and I'm really lazy. After about two hours of your typical unconscious state, the Yu-Gi-Oh gang woke up on the gigantic island.

"Holy crap, we're on Bigpenisland!" Tea exclaimed.

"YIPPEE!" Pegasus chirped.

"Not quite," Yugi said, much to everyone's shock.

"Yugi, what the fuck are you doing here?" Yami asked in complete shock.

"That is not important. What is important is that we are not on Bigpenisland.

"Oh, yeah? Then where the hell are we?"

Yugi thought for a split second. "Well, it's dry, sandy and yet also covered in grass everywhere except the coast areas. We're obviously on top of Tea's vagi-"

"San Diego!" Yami guessed.

"...Not even close. In fact, you deserve to have your foot stuck in a shredder for that."

"I don't care where we are. I'm still resting until we are rescued. Good day to you, sirs."

Yami lied on the ground and started snoring loudly. A helicopter landed immediately following Yami's collapse. Two guys walked out.

"Hi, I'm the guy from Queer Eye!" Carson greeted the cast. "That rhymed! I'm so OVER THE TOP and HILARIOUSLY NOT STRAIGHT! EL OH EL!"

Yugi pursed his lips. "You mean the annoying attention whore who hogs the camera, never shuts the hell up, and reinforces every unpleasant stereotype of gay people ever?"

"Yep, and this is my emotionless sex slave, Pat! AREN'T I OUTRAGEOUS?"

"Outrageously stupid." Tristan burned.

"What are you doing here?" asked Yugi.

"This is Bigpenisland, isn't it?" Carson asked.

"Sorry, no," Pegasus and Marik answered.

"Oh, hoot! I guess I'll have to take my BIG PURPLE HELICOPTER WITH RAINBOWS, FLUFFY ANIMALS, AND SHIRTLESS MUSCLE MEN and get out of here!"

Pegasus and Marik ran for the helicopter. "WAIT, TAKE US WITH-"

Carson and Pat flew away, leaving the Yu-Gi-Oh gang feeling slightly violated.

"...you." Marik finished alone. "Hey, why didn't someone ask him to get us out of here?"

"First of all, we wouldn't all fit, and second of all, TAKE A RIDE WITH HIM? ARE YOU NUTS?" Joey yelled.

"Hey, who's that?" Bakura pointed toward the sea, where Kaiba was walking, drenched and pissed off, to the edge of the island.

"Where the hell is the captain?" Kaiba asked through clenched teeth.

"He went down with his ship." Bakura answered. "Like an honorable man."

"Honorable, my shit! Look what he did to MOKUBA!"

Kaiba pulled Mokuba out of one of the pockets of his massive trench coat. He had a crab attached to his hair and was drenched in a stinky substance. So, he resembled a country singer... who sails, I guess. I don't know, I just pulled that simile out of my ass.

"What does he have all over him?" asked Tea.

"I think I fell into a cow pie patch when the ship wrecked..." Mokuba said weakly.

"HOW IS THIS HAPPENING?" Kaiba shouted.

"That's a very good question." Pegasus said to himself thoughtfully.

A cow then suddenly emerged from the ocean and laughed at Mokuba for looking like his toilet.

"...and that just raises FURTHER questions!"

"Oh, shut up and stop whining." Joey said happily. "We have food now, cow and crab. We'll make a fire with this wood and my trusty lighter. Everything's going to be OKAY!"

"Well, stupid, what do you plan on doing about water?" Marik sneered.

"You can drink my urine!"

"I drink NO ONE'S urine but Peggy's!"

"Eeeewwww."

A big crate labeled WATER washed up to the island completely out of nowhere. Not to be confused with Bumfuck, Nowhere, the scenic tourist attraction.

"GOD LOVES US!" Tristan celebrated.

"Not very much, this water won't last forever," Yugi judged. "Maybe two days, tops."

"I'm sure more will wash up," Joey said. "Let's get cooking."

"Luckily I brought my hilarious cooking apron!" Bakura said excitedly.

"All our bags are in the ocean right now, you idiot!" Kaiba railed.

Bakura threw himself on the ground, flailing and crying like a bitch. Suddenly, the ocean spat up an apron.

"It's my hilarious apron!" Bakura squealed, hugging the apron. "I'll never lose it again!"

"What makes it hilarious?" asked Mokuba.

"It says 'Kiss The Cook.' HAW HAW HAW!"

"Sounds like the ocean didn't even want it." Marik deadpanned.

OH, THE SUSPENSE! WILL THEY LIVE? WILL THEY KEEP FROM TEARING EACH OTHER'S THROATS OUT? WILL THEY EVER MAKE A FIRE? WHY THE HELL ARE THERE COWS IN THE OCEAN? WHERE'S MY WORLD GEOGRAPHY TEXTBOOK?

But, most importantly... DO YOU CARE?

TO BE SO VERY CONTINUED!