If there was one thing Perry hated, it was bastards. Oh, no. Not bastards like him, but true-blue, down-to-the-core asswipes. Such fuckfaces were on his shitlist.

Lucifer was one of them.

Perry admitted, he de-hefinitely was not Barbie's biggest fan. She annoyed him, and he made her want to pull out her oh-so-blonde hair. But he didn't hate the blondie. He also wasn't the type to acknowledge when someone was his friend.

Now Lucifer had taken her.

His knuckles were white as he clenched them. He was furious.

New assholes would be torn.

"AM I THE ONLY ONE WITH THE SLIGHTEST IDEA OF WHAT TO DO HERE?"

Carla winced a bit. "Janitor, we're not exactly experts on saving the world-"

"SO? You're demon hunters AND doctors! Pull your heads out of your asses! 'Oh, what do we do? We're so lost and hopeless!' That's all you ever say! I'm a JANITOR and I'm not as incompetent as you!"

"Um." Said JD. "The point?" He forcedly ignored a crash cart racing by in the background (no one really was paying them much attention). More people dying. More doctors, nurses and surgeons- not to mention patients- wondering what the hell was going on. This would end soon, one way or another. If they won, most of the lives taken by the demonic illness (that sounded so lame, but JD couldn't find any other name for it) would be returned. Some would not... it was their time, anyway.

"Urg," growled the Janitor, "Fine. We're gonna have to take a deep-shit dive into Hell for this one." Ignoring the gapes he got in response, he fixed Carla with a stern look. "Except for YOU. You're pregnant, little miss."

JD could see some bitterness flash in Carla's eyes, but he knew she loved her little unborn bundle too much to risk it. Turk squeezed his wife's hand in reassurance, and some of the darkness in her eyes left; but the worry wouldn't leave for a long time.

The Janitor blinked at JD suddenly. "Scooter! Where's your demony partners in crime?"

"Hi." Said Ben, next to the Janitor's ear.

"AAAAHH!"

Still changing shape from a shadow to his main form, Dan uncontrollably squealed with laughter. Molly grinned beside him. Jordan looked as if she were about to hit them both, but then she said; "I'm not exactly fond of the idea of going back to Lucifer's shitty backyard," she spat out the name 'Lucifer' as if it were poisonous, "But apparently the Stick chick is important, so... hmm."

"'Hmm'?" Parroted Perry, baring his teeth. "That's the best you can come up with, demon lady?"

Jordan narrowed her eyes at him, but before she could retort JD blurted, "BANANA-HAMMOCK."

...He was not good with pressure.

Jordan rolled her eyes and Perry stared at his- well, boyfriend. Good God, he'd actually thought it. Next he'd be slow dancing in high heels or something.

"So." Said Dan.

"So...?" Urged Turk.

There was a tense moment of silence, as if they were waiting for one of them to say something incredible insightful and life-changing... but then another moment passed, and they realized: no one knew what the hell to say.

"Well, that was pointless." Said Molly cheerfully.

Perry pinched the bridge of his nose as though in pain. "Turtleface," he addressed Turk, "Get Carla home. We'll be at the same field as last time."

As the couple left (with Carla insisting she could take care of herself, thank you very much) Janitor clapped his hands together loudly. "Right! Time to find my girlfriend!" His eyes burned with passionate determination.

Ben was visibly unimpressed by his drama.

As long as I don't lose my boyfriend... JD thought.

"Newbie, I know what you're thinking. Do not voice it or so help me GOD."

A/N: GASP. AN UPDATE? Yes. I feel this chapter was sillier than the others... though hopefully not overly so. I'd say something else, but I'm kinda short on time here. Hope you like it~ review, please.