Title: Home Ec 101
Characters: Jessie/Buzz (with meddling Potatoes and adorable peas)
Summary: In a misguided attempt to make Buzz and Jessie a better couple, the Potato Heads (lead mostly by Mrs.), decide that Buzz and Jessie should try their hand at being parents for a short period of time. They persuade/force Buzz and Jessie kinda-adopt all of the Peas in a Pod as their children for a short time.
Notes: Another prompt fill from the Disney comm. I don't know that this came out the way I intended but I still like it a lot. I played around using perspectives so it's a little disjointed but I think it works. First time I've ever written Mrs. Potato Head (she's fun but kinda hard) or the Peas in a Pod so there's that.
The idea had seemingly come out of no where. Mrs. Potato Head, with the Mr. in toe, had practically run up to Jessie and Buzz as they were in the middle of a fierce game of checkers and laid it all out. Her new crusade in life seemed to be to make the space ranger and the cowgirl a better couple; she hoped to accomplish this by making the two the de-facto parents of the peas in a pod, Peaty, Peatrice and Peanelope, for the rest of the week. Buzz had blinked at her and stuttered and turned a curious shade of red.
"Why would we want to do all that?" Jessie had asked picking up Peaty and carefully balancing him on top of her hat. The pea giggled as he rolled back and forth and the cowgirl shifted her weight to keep him from falling.
Mrs. Potato Head hurried over to the doll and tried pointlessly to rescue the toy. Her short arms merely flailed at Jessie making it harder for her to keep her balance. Jessie finally righted herself taking the plush pea from her head and handing it to Mrs. Potato Head. The elder spud cooed and cuddled the poor thing as it crinkled up its face and tried to get away from her embrace. She set him down and shooed him toward his siblings- who were being watch by Mr. Potato Head who was trying to stay away from his wife's mischief- before grabbing Jessie by the arm and pulling her a short distance away.
"Because dear," she said, "It's obvious that you don't know the first thing about how much work it takes to take care of children. With you two finally together, it's a skill set you're going to need to know."
"I don't think that's a fair assessment," Buzz said, joining them and finally finding his voice. He immediately shrunk under the glare Mrs. Potato Head shot him, but continued "That is to say, Jessie's proven herself to be an excellent caregiver. Just look at her with Bullseye."
"And what about you Mr. Space Ranger?" Mrs. Potato Head said turning on Buzz. "Don't think you get out of this. As a couple, you both need to be equal partners and you're both responsible." She pushed her finger hard against his chest and turned back to Jessie. "You both need a lot of help, really. A horse is not the same thing as a child. They're very different! Believe me, I've raised all three of my adorable alien babies and they went on to save our lives! After day care Bonnie's leaving for the weekend so we'll start tomorrow." She took off before Jessie or Buzz could retort and left them staring after her.
The first few hours went by insanely smoothly, if Jessie did say so herself. Bonnie had left for Sunnyside and would be there all day. She was coming home at 4 to finish packing her suitcase for the weekend at grandmas. As usual the toys took to preoccupying themselves while their owner was gone. Jessie and Buzz spent their time playing with their "adoptive" pea children and keeping a watchful eye on them when they took part in games with the other toys. Mrs. Potato Head even complimented them a few times as if she suddenly thought her genius plan was completely unnecessary.
That was until exactly 15 minutes before Bonnie came home. Jessie suddenly realized that the peas pod was missing. She began scouring the room turning over everything looking for the plush case. Mrs. Potato Head caught sight up what she was doing and began following her around telling her where to look. Jessie was about ready to tear her yarn hair out of her head.
"Bonnie's definitely going to notice if they're not all together," the potato babbled. "You should have taken more care to make sure they were in one piece instead of playing all day."
"What are you my mother?" Jessie finally shouted and immediately placed her hands over her mouth once the words were out. It seemed so silly to even say yet the overbearing nature of spud was too much. "I mean," Jessie tried again, taking a deep breath, "We've got it under control."
"Jess!" Buzz's call from the other side of the room where he was still watching the peas pulled the attention away from Jessie and she let out a deep sigh. "Peatrice says she thinks it's under the hamper."
The cowgirl didn't wait and took over to the bin in question. Sure enough the pod was lodged underneath and Jessie quickly pulled it out. She sprinted back over to Buzz and told the peas to get back in and into position and they all fell into toy mode just as Bonnie burst into the room
Buzz wasn't sure if having Bonnie gone for the weekend was a good thing or not. If the girl had been around their time would have been spent in her games and it would mean less time for Mrs. Potato Head's Home Economics experiment. The whole thing just didn't make sense to the space ranger. Though they were new at it he thought he and Jessie were just fine as a couple. Plus it wasn't like toys could actually procreate so the point was really moot. None of this was how real parents worked. They didn't just have random children thrust upon them. This was glorified babysitting if anything.
But he wasn't complaining honestly. The rest of the toys seemed to be leaving them alone for the most part, fearing the wrath of Mrs. Potato Head and the Peas weren't really that much to handle unless they were bickering with each other. Mrs. Potato Head had cut down on her interruptions after Jessie's outburst, choosing to watch the situation rather than interfere. Buzz was getting a lot of uninterrupted time with Jessie which was nice except that he had to share it with their pseudo-children. He wasn't sure he minded it all that much though. There was something about watching Jessie interact with them that made him smile.
On Saturday night he convinced Mrs. Potato Head to allow them a babysitter for the night citing that real couples got them sometimes too. Woody had been chosen to watch the kids finally feeling pity for the couple after having watched the weekend's antics with a smug smirk. He didn't accept the position though without teasing Buzz mercilessly about Mrs. Nesbit, being a stay at home dad and calling Buzz and Jessie "The Lighyear's" until he was nearly in tears from laughing. Mrs. Potato Head had reluctantly agreed to the arrangement and Buzz had grabbed Jessie and taken her downstairs before the decision could be reversed.
Buzz put on an old movie and the two cuddled up on the couch talking absently about all that had happened and the insanity of potatoes. Not even ten minutes into the film Buzz looked down to see Jessie fast asleep, lying against his chest. So much for alone time Buzz thought and kissed her softly on the head.
Sunday finally arrived and the end of Mrs. Potato Head's plan was in sight. Bonnie would be home at 6pm and Jessie and Buzz would again be a childless couple. The day was spent with all of Bonnie's toys in a spectacular game of tag. The game ended up tiring everyone out including the peas who made Jessie and Buzz carry them back upstairs. The five of them ended up on Bonnie's bed and Jessie started helping the peas get ready to go back into their pod for the impending arrival of their owner.
"Aunt Jessie" Peatrice said as Jessie pulled a stray piece of fluff from off of her head. "We had a really good time this weekend with you and Uncle Buzz."
"Yeah!" Peatrice added, "We know you're not our real mom and dad but we had fun"
"Promise you guys will play with us more!" Peaty begged.
Jessie looked at Buzz to see him smiling at her. "We definitely will," he said looking over at the peas as Jessie looked away with a smile of her own.
The peas all cheered and finished getting themselves into the pod. They quickly zipped up and rolled to the end of the bed where they had been left by Bonnie.
"Guess we're not so bad at this parenting thing after all" Jessie said, moving over closer to Buzz.
He put his arm around her waist "I'd say we did a pretty good job." Buzz placed a hand under her chin and gently lifted her chin up to look into her eyes. He was about to kiss her when a shrill voice cut in causing them to almost leap apart
"I'd say so too!" Mrs. Potato Head said beaming ear to ear and hurrying over to them. She grabbed the two in an awkward hug. "I saw that whole thing and oh…" she looked as though she might cry for a moment but collected herself. "I'm just so proud of you two!"
Mr. Potato Head calmly walked over to them and took his wife by the arm. "Honey, maybe it's time to stop meddling for a bit and give these two some privacy."
"Oh, you're right!" Mrs. Potato Head said, looking flustered. "You two deserve some time together. We'll leave you alone. Come on dear," She grabbed her husband by the hand and led him across the bed. Jessie was sure she head her mumble something about how well this had gone and how next time Bonnie was gone there was a certain pair of dinosaurs she wanted to help.
Jessie chuckled and turned back to Buzz who was still watching the potatoes leave. She moved her hand to his cheek and turned him to face her. "Now, where were we?"