AN: This chapter tells the story of the undercover operation from Nicholas' point of view and follows the same timeline as the previous chapter. For those who are waiting for a introduction of the old NCIS team, I hate to disappoint you but it wasn't my intention that Gibbs or any other character knew this from Tony's past, so they won't appear in this chapter. Hope you'll enjoy!

Chapter 8: Nicholas' revelation

A month later…

"Come on, Clara, it's still me. Please, look at me." Nick begged as he gently hold on to Clara's shoulders trying to make her see his pleading eyes.

"You lied.", she whispered, but her tone resonated in his ears, it was filled with disgust and disappointment. Her eyes disarmed him even further when she looked up. Nicholas almost took a few steps back out of reach of her cold fury.

"I didn't lie technically, I just didn't tell everything about myself.", Nicholas defended hopelessly.

"Don't give me that bullshit, Nicholas, you didn't tell because you were too much of a coward! One of DeMarco's men? Unbelievable! Their criminals and you're one of them? Just drop dead!", she yelled and turned on her heels. Her long brown hair fell on her bare shoulders and Nicholas watched her leave in despair.

He sighted, deciding whether to run after her or not. Unfortunately he caught sight of Tony and quickly tried to regain his steady composure as he walked towards him. They talked a bit but Nicholas thoughts wandered off to Clara time after time, what he should have said or done.

The next days were filled with day dreams of her face but he didn't see her anywhere. The nights were just as terrible and he was happy enough to catch a few hours of blissful dreamless sleep. Strangely enough, he had no problem in keeping up his bravado. Nobody seemed to notice something off, like nobody had noticed Clara's presence in his life the previous weeks.

He didn't really know why he never introduced her to his family like he always did when he wanted to impress a girl. But Clara wasn't any girl. Three months ago he spotted her across the room in the Antique, a bar. She was drinking with some friends, but that first impression lasted, certainly after she blew him off after his first macho one-liner. Figures, that the one girl who didn't fall for all the glamour and fame, was the one he couldn't stop visioning at night. So he tried a different tactic, showing a more gentle, a more authentic Nicholas. It worked miraculously!

He spent as much time with her as he could without attracting attention to his absence. Instinctively he had always known he would never introduce her to Vincenzo or someone else from his background. At that very moment the first doubts arose in his mind. He just couldn't picture Clara and himself as one happy family with the DeMarco's. It felt wrong, even sickening, dragging her into his dark world. In truth, the fairytale ended a long time ago. His conscience was stirring at the surface like a dragon, clawing every time he did something he was certain Clara would disapprove off.

Three weeks later

The knock on his door was so hesitant that he was sure he imagined it. Still there she was, standing in his doorway. And then came the awkward moment. They just stood there, not looking directly in each other's eyes.

"Well, how have you been?", Nicholas started cautiously.

"Good, fine actually.", she answered.

"You know I…"

"I'm sor…"

"No it's not why…"

"Why did you?", Nick finished her confused sentence. "Come back, I mean."

"Can I come in?", she asked nervously. Nicholas was mind was racing with every possible reason why, but he stepped back to let her pass.

Five hours later

God, he wished he was as ignorant as a few hours ago. Clara's news was both a shock and a blessing; he was going to be a father. She only found out herself a few days ago and hesitated to tell him. Thank God she did, but hell, it was mighty inconvenient.

They talked for hours their future making plans and building dreams, before he dropped her off at one of her friends' house. After that he just drove through the city, not wondering what he should do, that was pretty obvious the moment she confessed she missed him so much, but how he would do it. It was as if his life took another unexpected turn like the night he got shot, it was time to turn another page

Because Clara, no matter how much she loved him, gave him an ultimatum.

"I'm not going to raise him alone once you're part of this family and the way I see it you will either get yourself killed or arrested in the near future.", she had said tears welling up in her eyes. "I won't survive that, Nick."

"He, don't cry, baby, I promise I'll find a way out.", he had answered truthfully while gently caressing her cheeks, making the tears fade away. "You're my new family now, well you and the little one down here." He had kissed her belly lovingly.

Damn, he cursed silently but honked instead of screaming out of frustration. Unconsciously he had driven to Antique; 'a few drinks never harmed a man', he thought, just before entering.

Nicholas was staring in his third or fourth scotch when a familiar face caught his attention.

Great, he thought, there's that De Luca guy. Not that he disliked him, on the contrary, he felt rather brotherly towards the younger man, but he 'picked' this bar so he could think. It wasn't an usual DeMarco hangout, so what are the chances? This guy turns up everywhere it seemed. Maybe he won't see me, he prayed wistfully, but Tony already waved enthusiastically and went to the bar, returning with two glasses.

"Celebrating, Peruch", he asked jovially when he sat across Nicholas, "or drowning your sorrows?"

"I thought I told you to call me Nick, Tony, or did it slip your mind like the run I asked you to do?", he answered sounding very severe.

"Run went fine, better than your sorry attempt to dodge my question.", Tony retorted. "But if you don't want to talk, I can drink with you. It' s just…", and at his point he leaned in and looked at Nick attentively, "I've been watching you struggle with something."

Nicholas dodged that not so subtle little hint as well making Tony drop the subject or at least Nicholas thought he did. The night came as sudden as Tony's appearance, but he didn't notice, nor was he able to keep count of the times his drinking partner refilled his glass. Well great, more fog in my mind is just what I need.

Tony's bewildered expression revealed he apparently had said those last words aloud.

"I think you had enough to drink, Nick. Why don't I take you home?", Tony said surprisingly sober.

"Didn't that guy drink as much as me?", Nick mumbled under the impression he was thinking it again.

"No Nick, you had a head start remember? Come, let me help you get up.", Tony grinned and lifted him to his feet.

The next morning

The pounding headache was a sure reminder of the previous evening. And so was Tony's presence on the couch when he entered his living room.

"Finally back in the land of the living?", he said cheerfully and went to the kitchen while Nicholas slouched into a chair.

"Not so loud.", he muttered.

"Not entirely back then, anything I can get you?", Tony asked and sat across Nicholas at the kitchen table, putting a glass of water in front of him. "I could spike it with Tabasco if you want?"

"I hope that was a joke, Tony and I'm not in the mood.", Nicholas answered ruefully and steadied his head with his hands.

Tony was still sitting there anticipating something. 'I hope he doesn't except witty conversation', Nicholas thought. Slowly the fog on the events of the previous night cleared up.

Suddenly Nicholas rose up. "I'm not dead?", he asked confused remembering the foolish thing he said in the car the night before. "I want out, Tony, screw the DeMarco's.", it resonated in his already challenged head. Normally this should have been an instant dead sentence or at least earn him a trip to the docks. Rafe would have been so pleased if he heard, probably would have shot me himself. And yet, I'm still sitting here, waiting for breakfast or lunch? Nicholas glanced at the clock, while trying to gather his thoughts.

"No, big boy, you're still alive and breathing.", Tony grinned, "So you remembered that, anything else pop out of that talkative brain of yours?"

Nicholas was sitting up now, eyes wide open.

"You! And I… we made plans for… for…", Nicholas pointed at Tony, but the last part was still a bit vague.

"Wrong, I said we would make plans when you're mind wasn't drowning in scotch.", Tony answered. "And is it clear now?"

"You're a cop." It was a simple conclusion that lifted Nicholas spirits immensely. He found a way.

"We won't get far with you repeating everything you said.", Tony said. "But yes, you're right, again."

"Detective Tony Dinozzo, Baltimore PD, pleasure to meet you.", he added solemnly holding out his hand.

Nicholas understood immediately that this was a crossing road, which walked on unwisely might prove to be a dead end.