Happy Fourth, folks! For those of you not livin' in America, today, July 4th, is our day of Independence. To me, it seemed like an appropriate time to update Armed Resistance- a story about, among other things, revolution, and fighting against an empire. (Brief rant warning) Truth be told, I am not a huge patriot. Much that my country does troubles me. I don't like many of our policies, and I'm not certain how long we can keep up what we've got going. But times like this, it seems like the thing to do to take a minute, and realize how lucky I am to be in the position I'm in. I'm a college dropout living off of a minimum wage job, but I still have free time to write, to read, and game. That is the sort of thing you need to be thankful for, and I know I owe a lot of it to this country. It's not necessarily the only "land of opportunity" anymore, but it's done right by me.
Anyway. Sorry 'bout that. Feelin' a little patriotic or something. Don't worry, I'm sure I'll get better soon. Anyway.
Today's side story is Milly Ashford, before Armed Resistance actually started. We get to see her meet Lelouch vi Britannia, and see the rough times he went through, and also how she grew to care for him. There are several time jumps, but they are clearly marked, so it should be easy to follow.
I really like Milly as a character, and as I've said before, I feel she really got cheated in Code Geass, but I'm not really certain what to do with her going forward. I don't think I want her joining a military group- the Black Knights, the Outer Circle, the Britannian Army, none of them really suit her. In Code Geass, she became a reporter, and I think that suits her well, but I don't want her just taken out of the field like that. She doesn't have the intellectual mind to be a researcher like Nina, either. Hrm. Huh, I think I just got an idea, actually... but I'm not sure if I'll use it. If you've got one, feel free to throw it my way.
Reviews! Teucrian asks if Cornelia's orders to Suzaku mean that he just got an independent command. Sort of? He doesn't have authorization to do whatever, whenever, but when he's in a battle, and he's been told his objective, he no longer needs orders to deploy and whatnot. Basically, if the military takes him to a battle, once he gets to the battle, he's allowed to do as he thinks is best, and even take a few Sutherlands with him if he thinks it necessary. This is a very tentative thing, and it would be easy for Suzaku to lose the privilege.
Gaff Gafgarion asks if the original meeting between Suzaku and Euphemia happened the same way it did in canon. Yep, pretty much. He also notes that it's odd for Suzaku to consider teaming up with the Black Knights, even to take down the Circle. I think it's not quite as odd as all that. He's not eager to, and as you say, he really believes that the way you get something done is as important as getting it done (the ends don't at all justify the means, in other words), but the Black Knights and Zero are a much more heroic presence in this fic. They aren't Clovis's killers, they aren't terrorists. They're just Japanese who want their country back, and are trying to reclaim it through honorable means. Contrast that with the Circle, who shot Euphemia. Six times. It's not so much that he thinks the Black Knights are great guys that he just hates the Circle, and thinks that the Black Knights aren't so bad that he isn't willing to work with them to stop the Circle. Of course, he hasn't done so, though, so something must be keeping him from making that decision.
B Guy wonders what happened during Gaspar's time with the Ashfords. Umm... happy birthday? When I saw that review the first time, I was like, "How did he know?" =P Yeah, that's what this is. Kyuubi no kami notes that I haven't just killed Suzaku off, and appreciate that. Heh, no problem. I try not to fall into the classic "fix fic" traps of just making everyone I like cooler, and everyone I hate... dead-er. 12D3 Gorillaz notes that Suzaku seems pretty angry himself. Yeah... he is. Personally, I don't believe it's possible to change someone by spending time with them without yourself changing to some degree as well. Suzaku is trying to change Gaspar to be more patient and tolerant, but in the process, he's picking up some of Gaspar's anger. Fun times.
Finally, Sihv requests that I do a side story with Nina. As much as I dislike her personally... well, what do you do with a character you dislike? You try and get inside their head, you try and figure out what Code Geass didn't tell you, figure out why they are they way they are. tl;dr version, I've done some thinking, and I think I could make a side story from her perspective work. Hrm. That wasn't really shorter at all.
Alright, chapter time! Enjoy!
Milly Ashford - Seven Years Before Chapter One
Milly sat up straight as the doorbell rang. She set aside her notebook, and ran for the door. "I got it, I got it!" she shouted excitedly, rushing past the maid, who shook her head with a smile. She dashed down the stairs, took a deep breath, and pulled open the front door.
Standing- though only barely- on the front steps was a boy, about her age, with an unconscious girl on his back. His face was covered with a half-dozen minor cuts, and even through his black shirt, the blood dripping from his gut was readily visible. His hair was wild, and unkempt, and scorch marks scored his skin.
The girl was not doing much better- her head was bleeding profusely, and her dress was covered with blood as well, betraying what had to be worse injuries underneath. The boy was holding her piggyback style, and his face was contorted in pain.
"Please..." he gasped, "help...!" Then he fell to the ground.
Milly backed away slowly, her eyes wide in horror. "Daddy...! Daddy!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.
She sat by the boy for all of that first night, falling asleep in the chair beside him. He was Britannian, which was the strange part. There had been bombings all day, but they had been very precise- they struck only the Japanese parts of the city, sparing any known Britannian neighborhoods, including the large Ashford residence on the edge of town. The boy must have somehow been out in the Japanese part of Tokyo when the bombs began to drop, and staggered and stumbled his way to the only building he could see standing on the horizon... the Ashford estate.
It was incredible that he'd survived, the adults agreed. A piece of shrapnel buried in his gut, and carrying a girl with his as well. The girl was actually not as badly injured, but the wounds had gotten infected, and she was healing very slowly. Her legs were crippled, but according to the doctor, that must have been a preexisting condition, judging by the state of them, and lack of fresh trauma.
None of this, of course, made any sense to Milly. She was only ten, and the sight of a boy her age stumbling up to her door and bleeding everywhere before collapsing had scared her. It scared her because she'd never seen anything like that, and she didn't know what caused it. It scared her because he was obviously hurting so badly. It scared her because the boy was probably going to die.
She didn't know this in a medical sense, but to her, it was just obvious. His body was a mess, and there had been so much blood... he couldn't recover from that. People don't recover from that. So she was very surprised when she woke up the next morning, got breakfast, and returned to the bed where they'd placed the boy to find him awake and a little frantic.
As she stepped into the room, she noticed that something had changed. It took her a minute to figure it out, and then she realized that the boy wasn't in the bed. He was just gone. She paused, confused, and looked around. A groan drew her attention to the ground, and she saw the boy collapsed there, pulling himself along with one hand.
"Hey!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing? You need to get back in bed!"
The boy glanced up, noticing her for the first time, and stopped. "My sister..." he mumbled weakly. "I need... to help my sister..."
Milly felt a flash of sympathy. "Your sister...? That girl you carried here? She's okay, they've got her in a bed in the other room," she told him, walking over to him. She bent down, and grabbed his shoulders.
"What... are you...?" he asked, confused.
"You need to get back in bed, and you don't look strong enough to do it yourself. So I'm going to help you," she told him.
The boy blushed slightly. "I can do it myself!" he insisted.
"Stop being stupid and let me help you," sighed Milly, and she dragged him back to the bed, and hauled him up onto it. She slumped into her chair, panting a little with the effort, and sighed.
The boy scowled for a few moments, and then said, quietly, "...Thank you." He stared at his bandaged chest for a few moments, and then reached toward the gauze slowly.
"Don't pick at it!" snapped Milly, and he flinched, and lowered his hands. "Geez... didn't your mother ever tell you that?"
"My mother's dead," snapped the boy bitterly. "...She's dead."
Milly felt her stomach sink. His mom is dead, his sister is hurt, and so is he... but what about his dad? "Where's your father?" she asked quietly, almost dreading the answer.
He snorted. "Probably? Just sitting on his throne in the castle. I doubt he knows or cares about our problems."
"Throne...? Who is your father, exactly?"
"The Emperor," the boy answered casually. "Why, didn't you know?"
She blinked. "Wait, if your dad is the Emperor, then that would make you..."
"Lelouch vi Britannia... or I used to be. I'm not so sure anymore," he admitted softly. He poked at his bandage, and this time Milly didn't bother stopping him. He winced. "Ow... maybe I'll just leave that alone," he mumbled. He glanced up. "Oh, that's right. This is the Ashford Estate, right? I should like to talk to Ruben Ashford."
Milly was still stunned. A prince? I've never met a prince before... and Lelouch vi Britannia... that's the late Marianne vi Britannia's son! She stood quickly, and bowed. "I apologize, your Highness! I... had no idea that you were-"
Lelouch waved a hand dismissively. "Anyone who's saved my life can speak to me however they like. Besides, I've hardly got a claim to the throne anymore." He paused a moment. "But I would like to talk to Ruben Ashford, if possible."
"O-of course," she stammered, and ran out of the room. "Grandpa! Grandpa!" she called as she ran down the hallway.
"In here, Milly," answered a calm voice. "Has our guest awoken?"
Milly opened the door to her grandfather's study, and stepped inside. Ruben Ashford was looking up from his desk, a fountain pen poised in one hand over a small pile of papers. Reference books covered the desk, opened to various pages so that Ruben could consult them at a glance while he worked. He never did like computers, she mused. "Uh... yes, grandpa, he's up. He..." she began, and then hesitated. "He says he's Lelouch vi Britannia, grandpa. The prince."
Her grandfather froze, and the pen slipped from his hand. "I knewྭhe looked familiar!" he exclaimed, his eyes wide. "Lelouch vi Britannia... good god, why is he here?" He stood quickly, scattering papers, and had to stop to rearrange them. "Well... I guess I had better go talk to him." He paused. "And that would mean that the poor girl is Nunnally vi Britannia..." He shook his head. "Come, Milly."
She followed her grandfather back through the hall, and they paused outside the door where the prince was resting. Her grandfather turned, opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it again, and shook his head. Then he stepped inside.
Lelouch looked up as they entered, trying to pretend that he hadn't been picking at his wound again. "Lord Ashford?" he asked politely.
Her grandfather bowed awkwardly. "Your Highness... we didn't recognize you at first, if we had, we would have made more suitable arrangements-"
"There is no need to call me 'your Highness,' Lord Ashford," interrupted the boy. "I'm sure you know that I have been disowned by the royal family. In fact, they likely expected me to die in the bombings. I appreciate the gesture, but I am a prince no more."
"A prince once, a prince always, your Highness," said Lord Ashford solemnly. "Royalty is not a status to be bestowed, it is the very blood that runs through your veins."
"Seems to be running out of my veins at the moment," answered Lelouch darkly. "But that is all beside the point. Lord Ashford... I hate to ask favors, but... when my mother died, everyone abandoned her. All the lords and ladies of the court that had backed her, their loyalty behind her, pulled it as swiftly as they could. We, her children, were left without any supporters... except for the Ashford Family. Even though we were now useless, you and your family did not abandon us."
He stared at the floor. "It meant a lot to me, your family's support. And the last thing I want to do is to ask further of you... but when the bombs started falling, I knew of nowhere else I could go. Your estate, just on the horizon, was the only place that I thought I might find safe shelter. And I have- you have treated my wounds, you have helped my sister, and you did all of this, apparently, without even knowing that I was of any importance.
"My family, the Imperial Family, thinks me dead, and if they knew I was alive, would wish to... correct that. I need a place to hide... perhaps for years, I don't know. I just... I don't have anywhere to go, sir." His eyes began to water, but he gritted his teeth, and brushed the tears away unshed. "This is all I can do."
"Milly... leave us, please," said Lord Ashford quietly. Milly frowned, and then sighed, and turned, and walked out the door, closing it behind her. Then she grinned, and crouched, pressing her ear up against the door. Her father's voice came to her, faintly muffled. "Your Highness... your sister is very, very unwell."
"If you are referring to her blindness and crippled legs, those were like that already-"
"That is not what I refer to. She has a high fever, she is in pain, she is delirious. It is a sickness of some sort, perhaps due to her injuries. I am not certain- I am not a medical professional." Milly felt her gut tighten. I told him that she was okay... that she was going to be alright. I didn't know it was that bad...
Lelouch's voice came again, so soft and weak that she could barely hear it. "...Will she survive?"
Her grandfather paused. "To be honest, son... I don't know. We've got her a good doctor. Her odds are good. But even if she does make it... her immune system is shot. Her body won't be able to fight off disease until it recovers... and I fear that she will never get a chance to. Her defenses are down... and bacteria and viruses will take full advantage of the situation."
He sighed. "Lelouch, I was there when you were born. Royalty don't get godfathers, but I am as near to it as you will have. I could never just abandon you when you and your sister are in trouble. We will hide you. We will get you two new names, we will get you a new home, we will pay for your expenses... especially Nunnally's medical bill." He paused, letting all this sink in. "Do you have any requests for your last name?"
There was another silence. "When the bombing started... it was fairly clear that the bombers were trying to kill us. Not just trying to kill those around us, trying to kill us specifically. My father's orders, no doubt." Lelouch's voice was distant, and calm, and it wouldn't be until years later that Milly realized that the voice she was hearing was one of complete helplessness. "One of the bombs landed right next to us... it would have killed us both, but it didn't go off when it hit. I sat there, and stared at it, and our guard... the only Britannian guard they had sent with us... he grabbed me and Nunally, and threw us, just threw us across the room, away from the bomb. And a moment later, the bomb went off... and it killed him.
"The man's name was Edward Gaspar. I would like to be Lelouch Gaspar."
"As you wish, your Highness," replied Lord Ashford, and suddenly footsteps started heading for the door. Quickly, Milly ducked into her room, and closed the door. Her heart was beating a million times a minute, and though this too she would not realize for many years... in that moment she fell in love with Lelouch vi Britannia. For his honesty, for his courage, and for his pride.
She took a deep breath, and waited until her grandfather's footsteps had faded away, and then stepped back out into the hall. She snuck back to the prince's room, and pulled open the door. She stepped inside. "Lelouch, I-" she began, and then stopped. The bed was empty, and this time, so was the floor. She paused uncertainly, and then she heard voices through the wall.
She stepped out into the hall, and poked her head into the room where Nunnally, Lelouch's sister, was being kept. Lelouch was there, crouched at her side, and holding her hand.
"I talked to Lord Ashford... he's going to take care of us, Nunnally. He can set us up with a place to stay, and new names... a whole new life for us." His voice was soft and kind, unlike the stubborn pride that had filled it before.
The girl hesitated, and turned to face him with closed, sightless eyes. "And... what about me? Will I... get better?" she asked weakly.
Lelouch looked away. "The doctors... think you're going to get better, Nunnally," he lied. "You're going to be fine. It will just take some time."
Nunnally's other hand reached to touch Lelouch's, and for a moment, there was just her hand gently feeling his. "...I'm not, am I?" she asked. "I'm not going to get better. I can tell... that you were lying, brother."
Lelouch looked miserable. "It's not that simple, Nunnally, I'm just worried about-" he began, but Nunnally shushed him.
"It's okay. You were trying to make me feel better." She coughed a few times. "But I'm not well, Lelouch... and I don't think that's going to change any time soon." She smiled at her brother. "It's okay. We're safe now, I'll be alright. What's our new last name, then?"
"Gaspar," he told her. She tilted her head, thinking.
"You named us after Edward? That was a nice gesture, Lelouch... may he rest in peace." The two sat in silence for a moment, remembering the man who gave his life to protect theirs. "Oh, where is Suzaku?" asked Nunnally.
"I... we got separated, Nunnally. He helped me carry you most of the way here, but when we were cutting through a building, the roof started to fall in, and..."
Milly stepped back, and walked slowly downstairs. Something about their conversation made her want to give them some privacy, and she was sure she'd be able to spend time with them later.
Five Years Before Chapter One
Milly walked alongside her friend as he stared at the ground in silence. "Lulu..." she began hesitantly. "...Why did you do it?"
"Does it matter?" he asked bitterly. "He wanted to fight, so we fought. The only reason I'm in trouble is because I won." He was angry, but at what, Milly couldn't tell. Himself? The boy he'd gotten in a fight with at school? The principal, for giving him a week's suspension? Milly, for asking him about it? "Can we drop it?"
"No, we can't drop it, Lelouch!" she almost shouted. "You can't just beat people up! It doesn't matter if he started it, don't get involved! Tell a teacher, or-"
"A teacher," he repeated, his tone scathing. "I should have known you wouldn't understand."
"I can't understand if you don't tell me! ...Talk to me, Lulu." It wasn't a command... it was a request, a plea. The prince who had stumbled up to her door covered in blood two years ago was now a quiet, brooding boy who seemed prone to lashing out. Milly knew he was a good person, but she just didn't understand why he was behaving this way. It was probably a boy thing, but it was more than that, too.
Lelouch was quiet for a moment. "...He insulted Nunnally. He called her a cripple, he said that she was just a burden, that I'd be better off if she was dead. If she couldn't... bother me any more." His tense shoulders relaxed, and slumped. "She never bothers me. I just... I wish there was something I could do for her, Milly. It's been two years. Two years, and she's no better than when I brought her here. Maybe she's even worse... I can't tell.
"At first, I had so many things to take care of. I had my own injuries, I was just starting school here, there were a thousand things to keep me distracted. But now... now there's nothing to keep my mind off the fact that Nunnally is sick... is dying, and there's nothing I can do about it." He clenched his fist. "I get so mad, sometimes... just sitting, and thinking about how powerless I am. I can't heal her. I can't help her. I can barely distract her from her pain for five minutes, and that's on the rare occasion that she's even well enough that I'm allowed to visit her."
Mily sighed. "I know... that it's hard, Lelouch. But do you think Nunnally would want you to be hurting people for her?"
"I know that!" exclaimed Lelouch angrily. "I know she wouldn't want that, but... when I hear them say things like that, I just get so mad, I can't help it!"
"You've got to help it, Lelouch. For her sake. If she knew how many fights her brother was getting in... it would break her heart, Lulu."
He was quiet for a moment. "...I really went too far this time, didn't I?" he asked quietly. "The principal didn't tell me, but I know he was ready to expel me. The boy... how bad is it?"
Milly looked away. "You broke his arm, Lelouch. He was bleeding a lot, too... you hurt him really, really badly." Lelouch flinched at the words, and stared at the ground.
"...I'm sorry... after all your family has done for me, and I put it in jeopardy for a few petty insults," he muttered.
"This isn't about my family, Lelouch. Don't change your behavior because you feel... indebted to us, or something. Change it because it's the right thing to do. Change it because you don't want to make Nunnally sad. ...Change it because there's a boy in the hospital right now because he said the wrong words to you." She smiled gently, and poked him. "Hey. Hey." He looked up. "You're a good guy, Lelouch. You're mad for all the right reasons- because you can't help someone who's hurting. What you did... was bad, and you're facing the consequences now. And why can't that be it?
"Why can't you just take your punishment, and then move on? And in the future... control your anger a little better, huh?"
He smiled back. "Thanks, Milly. As long as I have you to calm me down when I get mad, I'll be fine." He paused. "I guess I'd better develop more self-control eventually, though- you won't always be there," he added with a laugh.
Yes, I will... thought Milly. I will always be there for you, Lelouch.
Three Years Before Chapter One
"Goddammit!" roared Lelouch, slamming his fist into a wall. A few tears trickled down his face, and his breath came out as a stream of white in the crisp, cold air.
Milly stepped forward as though to comfort him, but stopped. What... can I possibly do for him? she thought sadly. She's dead. The moment the doctors had pronounced Nunnally dead, he had begun moving outside, his face murderous. In truth, Milly was glad that he had made it outside before snapping... but it was a small blessing, in the face of the death of her friend, and the sister of her love.
He pulled his fist back, and there was blood on his knuckles, but he didn't seem to care. He slammed it into the wall again, and there was a crunch as the wall cracked from the blow. "...Why?" he asked, his voice coming out in a whimper. "She never... she never hurt anyone. She never did anything to deserve this. And yet she suffered, for years, right up until the end... I suppose this is the only time she's had her rest..."
"Lelouch, I..." began Milly, unsure of what to say. "...Are you going to be okay?"
"Me? Oh, I'll be fine..." he answered, and his voice was... odd. There was a hollowness to it, and though Milly didn't know what it meant, it creeped her out. "This has been waiting to happen for a long, long time... and in a way, it's good that she's finally... not in pain anymore. That she's able to go on. If anyone belongs in heaven, it's her."
Milly blinked back a few tears of her own. "Do you... do you think there's a heaven, Lelouch? That we'll see her when we die?"
Lelouch gave her a grim smile. "Oh, of course, Milly. There is a God, and there is a heaven. And I'm sure that you'll be with Nunnally when you die. As for me... for some reason, I know Saint Peter won't be calling my name."
She shuddered. "That's not funny, Lulu."
"That's good, because I didn't particularly mean it as a joke." He took a step forward. "They will burn for this, Milly. Britannia, the Imperial Family, the Emperor... I will put them all to the sword for what has happened to her, and to my mother. I will go to hell for what I do to them... and so long as I drag them down with me, nothing would suit me better."
Milly retreated slowly. "Lelouch... you don't know what you're saying. These are your family members. You can't mean that..."
"What is family? The saying got it wrong- blood isn't thicker than water. Everything is thicker than blood. Family is not decided by mere breeding and DNA. Family is about relationships, family is about support, family is about love and caring and helping. In that sense, the Ashfords are more a family than the Imperial Family. The princes and princesses I knew in my youth were simply people around- they did not care about me, and I barely cared about them.
"These people killed my mother for their petty infighting without a second thought, and my father just watched it happen. These people sent us to Japan to take us out of the game, then decided that wasn't enough and poured bombs on our heads. Mother is dead because of them. Nunnally is dead because of them." He wiped away the tears of grief and rage. "Family? Don't make me laugh. They aren't family. They are the ones who murdered my family, and for that, they will pay in blood."
"You're just upset, Lelouch... it's just..."
"Just what, Milly?" demanded Lelouch. "What madness has afflicted me other than the injustices piled upon me? Nunnally is dead, yes. She was my anchor, Milly. She kept me calm, but now they have taken even her from me." He took a breath, and when he spoke again, his voice was calmer. "You have done so much for me, Milly... you have been a true friend, even family, to me. I do not wish to oppose you... but even you won't stop me. I will make them pay. I will make them all pay. And I strongly suggest you don't get in my way." He turned away. "See you at school."
Milly stared at Lelouch as he walked away. He's just angry. It's his grief, his frustration, his anger at all that's happened. It's reached critical mass, and he just can't take it anymore. And if she had stopped there, with that thought, she would have been absolutely right, but then she thought, but it will pass. He'll calm down, and it will all be okay again. He just needs a little time.
And in that she couldn't have been more wrong.
Twenty bonus points to anyone who noticed the shoutout to "Requiem for the God-Emperor," one of the best YouTube videos ever made. So we see Gaspar get more and more angry... and we see the moment that he finally just snapped. I enjoyed writing this chapter quite a bit, but mostly it's not new information. It's scenes that we knew happened, only with more detail, more emotion. There will be some side stories like that, but really, I think it's generally more interesting to do scenes you didn't even know happened. Suzaku and Cecile discussing Zero, for instance.
My next side story... well, I'm not actually decided. I want to do one with Jeremiah, and I want to do one with Nina. Both will be done, but I don't know which I'm going to finish first. We'll see how it goes. Eventually, I will do a Karen one as well- your requests have been heard, trust me- but it's a question of what, you know? Karen pre-AR? Karen at school and in her life, thinking about things? Karen kickin' ass and takin' names in the Guren? We'll see.
Write, review, comment, question, and I will see you next time!