Title: Just A Feeling
Chapter: Ch 3
Author: SomethingIDontknow
Rating: T (For gay romance and a touch of angst)
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters. It'd be one twisted show if I did.
Author's Note: cheesy. Way cheesy. Just suffer with me. The next one will be better I swear.
Iruka sat at the window, he pressed his temple to the icy cold glass. His arms were crossed over his chest, hugging the only warmth in the world to him. And still, he was frozen. Outside, snow fell softly, silently. It built glittering drifts against dusted homes and buildings. The sill outside the window was filling. Just below, Kakashi was bundled in a heavy coat, talking to another well dressed man. The pair had been standing in the falling snow for almost two hours. The pair talked on and on, their breath forming a beautiful, fragile cloud that rose up to mist Iruka's window. He hated it. Hated the visible proof of transgression clouding his window in a sick parody of clouding his senses. The pair laughed, they embraced. Iruka felt his heart tearing as he watched their arms linger around each other. Kakashi waved the man off before going into their building.
By the time he made it to the second floor apartment, Iruka was done crying. He wiped his tears away and made no move to greet the older man. Kakashi shook the snow from his coat and moved to stand beside his lover. "Its cold, love, why don't you turn up the heat?" "Im not cold." Iruka said flatly. That bastard. Acting like he cared. Like iruka didn't know. "Oh." Kakashi sighed, put off by the abrupt response. The wall clock ticked loudly. "Would you like some coffee-" "im going to bed." Iruka stood suddenly and went to the bedroom, leaving a baffled kakashi in the living room alone. The older man rubbed his arms and looked around. Iruka had been acting strangely lately and it was starting to worry kakashi. With a sigh, he began making coffee for tomorrow.
Kakashi slept that night on the living room couch. He sensed iruka was not in the mood for company. This recluseiveness was puzzling, and as he poured a cup of coffee, kakashi resolved to talk to the younger man about it. Iruka emerged from the bedroom, showered, dressed, and ready to leave. He only took a mug of coffee from his boyfriend and fled without a word.
Okay? This was getting out of hand. Kakashi stayed in to complete mission reports and wait for his troubled lover. Twenty five past four, the door lock clicked. Kakashi was across the room instantly and the moment Iruka stepped through the door, Kakashi had him pinned to it.
"what's wrong?" Kakashi asked quietly. Iruka glared up at him, struggling. He pinned his wrists above his head. "what did I do?" Kakashi asked calmly, "you know I mean you no harm. you know I love you. I cant understand why you're acting this way." Iruka looked away pointedly. "you're always with him now." he muttered. Kakashi blinked. "with who, ruka? Who am I hurting you with?" "Yamato. You're always meeting with him and talking with him." the smaller man continued to speak quietly, "I saw you talking yesterday. And you hugged him and-" he cut himself off, sniffling, "man, im sorry, I sound like such a girl." Kakashi smiled a kissed Iruka's scar, just on the bride of his nose. "please, Iruka, don't do this. don't hide from me like this." he pulled him closer, hugging him close, "you scared me." "you scared me." Iruka whimpered, "I saw you with him. And he just… he's so familiar with you. It scares me. I cant help but think, why would you want plain old me when you could be with your devoted old comrade?" Kakashi chuckled in his deep way. "I don't want him. We went through hell together, yes. But in him, I see every demon, every tortured mission, every friend and soldier we ever lost. He is a reminder of every mistake and failure I've suffered. I don't want that. I want you. Because in you, I see a daily miracle. A beautiful man that overcame as past as painful as my own. In you I see possibility, and hope, and the love of my life. You are my miracle. You are my one and only. Never forget that."
Iruka sniffled again and nodded. Kakashi tipped his face up and kissed his tears away. "stop this crying my love," he whispered, looking into his eyes, "I beg you, forgive my mistakes and permit me to love you." "always," Iruka whispered, kissing him sweetly, "forgive me and love me?" Kakashi smiled. "always."