When Hiromasa said 'representatives', Kakashi had been expecting one or two people from each village; when they walked into the large hall which was set aside for town-gatherings, it seemed as if the entire populations from both Ten Ravens and Archer were crammed inside. A collective shout arose when the men walked in, and the crowd heaved forward. Kakashi found persons touching him, shaking his hand. His natural aversion to masses of people rose up in him, and he longed for escape.
Smoothly, Iruka stepped in front of him, taking the brunt of the attention with ease. He endured the claps on the shoulder and the elderly ladies patting his cheeks with the grace of a politician about to be elected, and it was with some relief that Kakashi found himself at the podium at the other end of the hall, looking up at Hitome and Kiyoshi kneeling on woven mats on either side of a bemused Hokage, wide grins on their faces.
"SHINOBI-SAN!" Hitome bellowed, and rose up. She raced across the stage, the ends of her embroidered robes flapping, and launched herself through the air. Iruka caught her, laughing in her face and Kakashi swallowed hard at the sight of how natural he was with children. Kakashi liked children enough, and liked them even more when they were not in his general vicinity... but Iruka was comfortable enough to go down on one knee, setting the princess on her feet and listening intently as Hitome told him some complicated tale, her fingers weaving shapes in the air. Kiyoshi had made his way off the stage with his own brand of collectedness, but he ended up leaning against Iruka's side, a shy smile on his face.
Iruka would make a reasonably good father, Kakashi thought and stuck his hand in his pockets as he pondered this. He would make a woman very happy...he was calm, capable, well-spoken and strong. Instead of being stuck to Kakashi, he could be freed to pursue a normal life, maybe even create a horde of mini-nin.
You're forgetting that Iruka is obviously not interested in women, a tiny voice in his head reminded him. At least, not sexually.
I haven't forgotten, Kakashi thought back, a bit more forcefully than necessary, considering that he was basically thinking at a voice in his own head.
You haven't? The voice, with its implacable curiosity, sounded suspiciously like Minato-sensei. Kakashi shoved it away, and shook his head when Iruka looked at him with concerned eyes.
"Why are you all here?" Iruka asked the children, setting them away and rising.
"We didn't get a chance to properly thank you for saving our Hitome-hime," a man said, stepping forward; Kakashi recognized him as Hitome's cousin, Shou. "We decided to make the effort. We bring gifts!"
"They only decided to make the effort when they found out we discovered a way to break the seal," Kiyoshi piped up, and Hitome glared daggers at him. "We came to give you that solution, as our own gift."
"Our gifts are better," Hitome said, her eyes narrowed. "It's stuff you can actually hold. Like clothes. And...stuff."
Kiyoshi sniffed, and turned to the group of Archer villagers who had arranged themselves around the little boy. He held out his arms, and one of them deposited a scroll which appeared completely innocuous, like a list the Godaime made when she wanted the ANBU to find her the best liquor. Kiyoshi unfurled it, holding it up for them to see. Unlike the Bijozakura, this had no beautiful image, just lines of cramped handwriting.
"I saw this when we were going through my father's belongings," Kiyoshi said. "I read it, and...well, see: Here, a sharpened blade to slice through bonds, if unfound connections the Bijozakura creates. And yet against seals true, the blade is dull." He snapped the scroll closed and stared up at them with shining eyes. "So you can be separated!"
"That is good to hear," Tsunade called out. "I'm sure that these two shinobi are more than ready to be parted from each other. I've read the scroll, and it seems to be a very safe procedure."
"I am glad," Kakashi answered, keeping his tone light and simple. He tried to reach out to Iruka in their bond, but Iruka was pulled away from him, disclosing very little in the way of how he felt. Kakashi turned his head very slightly, looking at Iruka out of the corner of his eye, but Iruka was staring straight ahead.
"We can do this right now. The sooner the better." Tsunade clapped her hands decisively, and cast an exasperated gaze on the outsiders who had invaded her village. "Ten Ravens and Archer...thank you for your honoured company!"
...
Hitome insisted that the wonderful clothing she had brought for the shinobi-san would be worn to their separation ceremony. Kakashi wasn't even sure it should be a ceremony, but he changed his clothes in a small room to one side of the main hall and tried to ignore the stony impression emanating from Iruka. The only time Iruka smiled was when Naruto slipped in and joked that he never thought Iruka would be one to get a divorce so quickly.
Kakashi felt like everything was moving so fast. Hadn't he been wrapped up in bed with Iruka just a few hours ago? Watching Iruka moan and look up at him with pupils blown wide, soft pants falling from his lips every time Kakashi surged forward in him...Kakashi still had no words to describe how that had felt. Now, they were seated at a low table, tea set out on the polished wooden surface as they waited for Tsunade to send for them; she was busy with ANBU and some other shinobi, emptying the main hall of the invading villagers and inscribing the breaking seals on the floor. The protocol outlined in the scroll indicated that those to be separated should not be in the presence of the creation of the seals until after they were made.
Iruka took a deep breath and said, "Are...are we sure we want to do this? I mean, separating will mean we'll lose the collaboration in our jutsu."
Kakashi twisted his mouth underneath the mask he kept on, even with these heavy robes draped over his shoulders. "It's for the best."
A hard, sharp twist invaded their bond, and as Iruka poured out some tea in two cups, Kakashi realized that it was coming from him.
"It could be better to stay together," Iruka said, and slid one cup over to Kakashi. He took a long sip out of his own.
Kakashi shook his head. "Trust me, it would be more logical to part. This was only a mission, after all. We were trusted to complete it, and nothing else."
Why must you lie so, Kakashi? the Minato-voice returned to ask and Kakashi scowled at it. He knew Iruka's anger a bare heartbeat before there was a physical manifestation of it, for he felt it building in their sealed chakra, as heavy and hot as a massive fireball.
"Why are you making this so difficult?" Iruka cried, throwing his cup against the wall. It shattered, bits of white crockery and dark tea sliding down the wall. "I want you. I want to be with you! I know you want me too, I can feel it between us, you-you-" Apparently at a loss for words, Iruka glared at him.
Taken aback by Iruka's shouts and the breadth of feeling now flooding between them, Kakashi's first reaction was to go cold.
"So you know what I want now. But have you asked me what I need, sensei?" Kakashi asked in a low, perilous voice. "Do you even know?"
The high emotion drained out of Iruka's expression; it seemed as if he even stopped breathing for a moment.
Then, he inhaled, shakily. "Apparently," he choked out, "I don't."
Kakashi regarded him out of the corner of his normal eye, his face now turned slightly away. "Suppose I need a proper bond, Iruka-sensei? Not an accidental one, a real one, to someone I want to be with... someone who can give me heirs to carry on the Hatake name?"
Iruka probably didn't realize that while the rest of his face was as hard as a rock, the look in his eyes was completely stricken. Kakashi shifted away his gaze away, almost unable to withstand the amount of hurt coming from Iruka; but Iruka didn't understand. This was for the best. All the laughter, their shared life, that had only been temporary. Their real lives were waiting for them to take up again, to slip them on like armour.
Iruka said, "I don't think you want that, Kakashi. To be honest, you're not sure what you want. You've never had a normal, stable relationship in your life."
"Normal and stable is boring," Kakashi said, and shrugged dismissively.
"And yet, that's obviously what you'd prefer." Iruka rose from the small table, brushing imaginary specks of dust from his yukata. "My apologies, Hatake-san. Please forgive my presumption of your needs."
Kakashi didn't answer. Agitated, Iruka rose and traced a path around the room; he was almost on the opposite side from Kakashi when he whirled around and stomped over, kneeling beside Kakashi and grabbing onto the front of his own silken robes. Kakashi's mouth was already parted in surprise, so Iruka just kissed him deeply, angry teeth and furious tongue, until Kakashi was moaning against his mouth, clutching onto Iruka's shoulders.
"How can you not want this?" Iruka murmured against his lips. "I would give you anything you asked for."
Kakashi shoved him away and was on his feet before Iruka could take hold of him once more. Iruka remained where he was, head bent and hair falling in a curtain around his face. He remained motionless, but the hurricane of his emotions battered at Kakashi, who held up his hands as if to ward off an attack. He felt as if ghostly shuriken sliced across his skin in an unstoppable swarm.
Abruptly, the assault ceased. Kakashi lowered his hands and stared at Iruka, who was looking up at him anxiously.
"Did I... hurt you?" Iruka was deeply horrified at himself, Kakashi knew that. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. I didn't realize-"
Kakashi curled his hands into fists, and then immediately let his fingers hang loose again. He tried to keep his tone mild, but it came out cutting. "I didn't know we were capable of that."
Iruka closed his eyes, and the door behind Kakashi was pushed open. An ANBU stood there, giving Kakashi a respectful tilt of the head before motioning at them both.
"We're ready, Iruka-sensei, Kakashi-sempai."
"Kakashi," Iruka murmured, sounding and feeling broken, but Kakashi stepped out of the room and did not look back at him.
...
For days after their separation, Iruka walked around feeling as if he was missing a limb. A very important limb; one that made him smile and was kind of hot with a mass of silvery hair. An infuriating limb, who refused to acknowledged the feelings that existed between them.
The separation itself had not taken very long. Iruka had walked out after Kakashi, staring at his own feet as they moved over the polished floor. It was only when he heard Naruto call his name that he looked up. The wide hall was almost empty, except for ANBU standing at the four points: one at the North, another at the South; at East and at West.
The tall windows were pulled shut, and the only illumination was provided by the long row of skylights high above; dust-motes twirled lazily down shafts of light which pierced the now-eerie murkiness. On the massive, interlocked tiles which made up the floor, there was a circular pattern of symbols, copied from the breaking-seals scroll. In the middle of this, Naruto sat cross-legged, giving Iruka a happy little wave. Behind him, Neji stood with his arms folded, pale eyes gleaming.
"Naruto is here to provide power," Tsunade-sama explained when Iruka gave her a questioning look. "The brat has enough of it to break forty seals."
"Hey!" Naruto rubbed the back of his neck, grinning self-consciously. "It's not my fault I'm so awesome."
"Oh, get over yourself." Tsunade wrinkled her delicate nose at him, but it had such a maternal air to it that Iruka had to smile, even though his heart felt like it was crumbling in his chest. Kakashi must have felt how he was feeling, he didn't have the energy to hide this, but the other man still did not look at him as they took their places on matching spaces on either side of Naruto. The symbols here were arranged differently from the others; instead of the straight lines which travelled from the four points, these had been drawn in an oval pattern. The four-point lines crossed through these and ended up joining underneath Naruto, presumably.
"And Neji?" Iruka heard Kakashi say.
"For precision," Neji answered, tone low and calm as usual. "To aim Naruto's energy, as it were."
"We make an awesome team," Naruto said, tilting back his head to grin up at his friend. "Like Kaka-sensei and Iruka!" He looked at Iruka with wide eyes. "Well...after now, not anymore. Er."
Iruka shook his head at Naruto, hoping the smile on his face wasn't too bitter and sad. He settled in his oval of seals, clasped his hands together, and waited.
At a signal from the Hokage, the ANBU at North began making seals first, followed by the one at the South. Their lines lit up, then the ones from the East and West.
When the pale-grey light passed Iruka, he felt a sharp pull at his chakra. Naruto made his own seals, and a hazy aura of orange light appeared around his body. Neji bent forward, rest his hands on Naruto's shoulders, his eyes now lit with the power of the activated Byakugan. The light which travelled from Naruto to Iruka's and Kakashi's seals was an orange so bright, it looked like the floor was on fire. Iruka stifled a shout as what felt like monstrous teeth tore into his chakra, ripping into it.
In that single minute of the breaking, Iruka endured what seemed to be an eternity of agony. He felt the reverberation of Kakashi's anguish through their shattering link, and longed to do something, anything, to help him; but he felt as if that orange light was burning in his blood, in his very bones, spilling out of his eyeballs and out his mouth as he opened it in a silent scream of pain.
The breaking ended so abruptly, that Iruka collapsed forward, only just managing to catch himself on his hands. His body trembled as if he had been in an extended battle, and he retched, spitting out the tea he had taken before and the small breakfast he had eaten quickly before they had followed Hiromasa to the great hall; the bile was bitter on his tongue.
Warm hands touched his face, brushing his hair away from his forehead. Iruka looked up into Naruto's concerned eyes and swallowed against another wave of nausea.
"You okay?" Naruto whispered. He patted Iruka's shoulders awkwardly, as if the touch could transfer any comfort. In a way, it did, because something absolutely vital had been taken away.
He couldn't feel Kakashi anymore. Odd, how just after a short time, he was so used to Kakashi's essence wrapped closely with his.
"Iruka?"
"I think so," Iruka said and let Naruto help him to his feet. The room spun, but he remained still until it did. He saw one of the ANBU supporting Kakashi, while Neji looked him over.
"I don't see a connection," Neji said and then turned to inspect Iruka. A small frown darkened the pallid expanse of his forehead. "Hmm."
"Hmm what?" Naruto demanded, but Neji made a sharp motion with his palm, cutting off any further comment from Naruto. Iruka could feel the agitated tremble in Naruto's body, and rest his head against the side of Naruto's, always touched by the depth of his concern.
"I thought I saw something," Neji said. "But it's gone now."
"It's done," Tsunade announced, and the timbre of her voice sounded like a bell tolling for the dead, or so Iruka thought. "You are both free."
Naruto hugged Iruka so tightly that Iruka felt his ribs groan under the pressure; after he made sure Iruka could stand up on his own, he darted over to Kakashi, and embraced him as well. Kakashi placed a hand on his shoulder, replying softly to Naruto's worried questions and glanced over his head at Iruka.
Iruka opened his mouth to say something, but a soft touch at his elbow scattered all the thoughts in his weary mind.
"Iruka-sensei." It was the ANBU who had been standing at the West-point. "I will help you home."
"I...all right." He let himself be led out, surprised at the brightness of the day. The ANBU took paths which were deserted, so there were few villagers to give the sensei curious stares. When he got home, the ANBU stayed for awhile, a stolid presence while he washed his face; in the mirror, his expression had a shell-shocked quality. He crawled into bed, trying to ignore the warm scent of Kakashi all over his pillows and sheets, and failed miserably.
He didn't know when the ANBU left, but he swore he felt a gloved hand brush his cheek a moment before he fell asleep.
That had been a week ago; since then, he saw Kakashi now and again, walking at a distance like a barely-remembered dream. The time-off that the Godaime had extended would end soon, and Iruka had already been back in the Missions Room for a few evenings, acknowledging to himself that he was really hoping to see Kakashi up close. It was a bit silly, because Kakashi was still on leave just as he was, and he wouldn't have any missions as yet, but Iruka wasn't feeling too logical at this point. The visiting villagers were beside themselves that they could have helped the shinobi of Konoha, and had left a day after the breaking, extracting promises from both Kakashi and Iruka that there would be visits from both of them. The children met with the Hokage, who assessed their chakra and decided that a chuunin-sensei would be sent once-monthly to help them develop their potential.
Iruka had the sneaking suspicion that the chuunin-sensei would be him.
He had been so infatuated with Kakashi before the sealing of their chakra; it was what he fought to hide from the other man, and the closeness had tempered that flighty emotion into something deeper, truer. Yet, he told himself as he trudged home after a short stint in the Missions' Room, Kakashi was probably right. No, he was. It had really been too good to be true, one of his deepest fantasies fleshed out, but something that amazing could never be permanent. Besides, Kakashi wasn't attracted to men. It was heartless to keep him trapped in such a farce of a relationship. Besides, he had lost such control of his emotions at their breaking, that he had hurt Kakashi, and he never wanted that.
Iruka turned a corner and bumped right into Kakashi, who stepped back from him quickly and gave Iruka an unreadable stare. Iruka gaped at him, and blinked a few times for good measure.
"Kakashi-san," he heard himself say, distantly. "How are you?"
Kakashi stared at him for a beat too long, and then nodded once, very slowly. "I am well. And you?"
"I-" ...miss you. "I'm fine. And the ninken?"
"They are also well. Thank you for asking."
They stood there, just looking at each other. Iruka was the first to break their linked gazes, noting the scroll that Kakashi had tucked into the front-pocket. "A mission?" he asked.
Kakashi executed that slow nod again.
"Oh." Iruka straightened his shoulders and dredged up a smile from goodness knew where. "Please do your best and keep safe, Kakashi-san." He stepped around Kakashi, who turned to keep him in sight; for a moment, they were so close it would have been so easy for Iruka to lean in and kiss him, tracing his lips under the mask, but he didn't. He walked away, each step a necessary evil.
He looked back over his shoulder once, but Kakashi was already gone.
Iruka would return to school in a few days, so he threw himself into preparation that evening; he had the same plan for the next day, but at the hour that he was expecting Naruto to visit with some lunch, a sensation of concentrated disquiet dropped over him like a thick cloak. He had exploding tags in one hand and a kunai in the other before he knew it, for it felt like the killing intent washing over him.
Iruka looked around, frowning. As far as he could tell, there were only neighbours nearby at this time, unless an enemy was cloaking their chakra...but how could they, when he could feel this?
He realized that it was more intense from a certain direction, and he turned towards it, feeling it warp through the air at him. No... that wasn't the killing intent. It felt too desperate, too ragged-
"Kakashi," Iruka breathed out, and dropped his weapons on the table, clutching his head. Kakashi was in trouble. Iruka could feel it, but this was impossible, the Bijozakura had been broken between them, and he had not detected anything before now-
"He's dying," Iruka whispered to the listening plants. "He's dying."
Hell, no. Not on my watch, Iruka thought fiercely and closed his eyes. He imagined the wave of distress coming towards him as a single bright filament, and he grasped onto the end of it, looping it around his mental fist. The strand wavered, and weakened, but Iruka held on.
Then, he sent his own chakra down the line.
So far away; so very far away, but Iruka kept propelling out his own energy, and he started to shake under the stress. He reclaimed the chakra from all the water-balls around him, and there was a series of soft splashes as the suspended water crashed onto the leaves and stalks. Iruka's parents would have been horrified at this, but Iruka had more important things to think about right now.
The line dimmed momentarily, and then flared so bright that it seared the insides of his eyelids. Iruka heard a voice in his head murmur Iruka, what are you doing, but his world went dark before Kakashi could say anything else.