Chapter 3

BPOV

When I made it to work I had just enough time to put on some lip gloss and dry my hair. I pulled it back into a messy bun and decided it would have to do for the day. Angela was setting up the cash register when I came out of the back.

"Hey Bella, would you mind shelving the new books we just got in? I would have done it, but this dumb computer won't work right for some reason." Angela asked. I didn't mind diong these kinds of things in my own book store. I had only hired Angela for some extra help and to give her something to do other than sit at home alone all day.

"Sure that's no problem, let me just go get all of them from the back," I said in what I hoped was a cheerful tone.

I walked to the back and grabbed a box of the new books and walked back out to the front. Angela eyed me warily, taking in what I suppose was an awful looking Bella this morning.

I was never what some would call beautiful; I was plain with long brown hair, dull brown eyes, and pale white skin. I had a small petite build, but nothing extravagant in the assets department. Take all of that into account with not much sleep and crying my eyes out last night, I was sure I looked hideous.

I set the box down next to a row of book shelves and turned to ask her how Ben was doing when she spoke before I had a chance. "Bella is something wrong? You look like you had a rough night."

I blushed slightly knowing that there was no reason to even try to tell a small white lie, she saw through me like an open window.

I walked over to the counter and leaned against it placing my face in my hands. "I don't know what to do," I started, not knowing where to begin with my feelings. "I don't know if Jake's cheating on me or not, but I'm just tired of it always being like this. It frustrates me beyond belief that every single one of our friends are married, and he shows no sign of changing our status anywhere in the near future. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for all of you, but I just feel like after so many years, we're at a stand still." I blurted out, not knowing whether or not to include my dream about my green eyed stranger.

"Bella, it's understandable to feel this way sometimes. But go back to the cheating thing-do you really think he would do that?" she asked looking a little disbelieving. I went on to tell her everything that happened last night; about our fighting and me leaving, about seeing Leah at the store, and even my dream.

"Well, if you think it could help both of you by having some breathing space and time to sort things out, you can always come and stay with Ben and me. Or, we have his mother's little house that isn't being used anymore, I'm sure Ben wouldn't mind letting you stay there until you get everything situated." she looked a little cautious before adding, "but Bella, I really don't think Jacob would go for something as dirty as Leah Clearwater. And don't worry about the dream thing, it happens to me too." she told me calmly.

"Thanks, Angela, I really appreciate your offer, and if Ben won't mind, I think I'll being taking you up on it. It won't be for long, just long enough to sort things out about what I really want. I'll pay you whatever you want as far as rent. I really hate to impose like that." I told her, feeling a little relief. She embraced me in a hug which I appreciatively returned.

"It's no problem Bella, and you won't be imposing, so no need to worry about paying us anything. That's what friends are for, remember?" she said.

Just as I was turning to go back to the box of books, the phone rang. Angela answered it quickly, "Just Us Books, this is Angela, how can I help you? ....Ok, hold on for a moment, please....thank you. " she turned to me and said, "It's Emily. She says it's important."

I walked back over to the counter and took the phone from Angela. "Hey, Emily, what's up?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound too worried. "Hey, Bella, not much. I just thought I'd let you know that Jenni's here at the hospital and she's asking when you're going to get here. I figured Jacob probably forgot to call you and tell you, but her contractions are getting closer together and alot more frequent if you'd like to be here for the birth. Everyone else is already here, we're kinda just twiddling our thumbs, but she really wants you here, seeing as she's closer to you than anyone else." Emily said calmly.

She was right. I don't know why Jenni and I got along so well, we just clicked. It was like friends at first sight or something. I had thrown her a baby shower a few weeks ago. With the help of Jake of course, seeing as it was more of a bar-b-que with gifts than a baby shower for couples. It ended in a bonfire down on the beach that night. It was one of those nights I truly enjoyed being a part of this 'family'.

"Yeah Emily, let me talk to Ang real fast to see if she'll mind me cutting out on her today, and I'll be there as soon as I can." I told her, already too excited to see one of my best friend's little miracles.

I hung up with her and turned to Angela just in time to see her roll her eyes playfully and wave her hand dismissively. "Go, I can handle things here. Tell them I said congratulations. Oh and Bella, try to be happy. Don't let anything bother you today. Everything will work out for the best," she said with a smile.

"Thanks Ang, you're the best," I said as I launched myself over the counter and embraced her in the biggest hug I could manage. She just smiled and patted me on the back.

I ran to the back of the store to grab my bag and coat, trying not to trip over anything on my way. I sprinted through the store rather gracefully for being me, and made it to my car in no time. I shoved the key in the ignition and took off for the hospital, rather excited to be heading there for once.

When I walked into the maternity wing I looked around and saw no one at first. I rounded the doorway to the father's waiting room to find everyone there, except for Jake and Embry.

They all greeted me with hugs and soft shoulder punches while I tried to return them enthusiastically. "When I made my way around to Emily, I asked where Jacob was, and noticed how the room suddenly grew very quiet.

" Uhh, he's around at the nursery with Embry," Paul replied, not wanting to meet my gaze. I got the oddest feeling that something was going usaid, but not sure what it was. "Thanks," I told them and turned to start my way down to the nursery.

When I rounded the corner, everything in my line of sight became red. I felt the tears start brimming in my eyes and turned to run out of the hospital when Jake looked up and caught my eye. He pushed Leah off of his lap and started after me, yelling my name. But I was already gone.

JPOV

I walked in the hospital following Sam around to the maternity wing where mostly everyone already was. I took a seat next to Quil and leaned back to shut my eyes for a few minutes. I had never had a baby before, but if Sam and Emily gave any inclination as to how long this was going to take, we were going to be here for a while.

"So where are your kids, Em?" Claire asked, breaking the silence that was stifling in the room.

"Oh, they're with Sue and Billy, they offered to keep them while we were here, as long as we keep them informed of what's going on." Emily answered quickly.

The women then went on talking about kids and babies, and whatever else. I was really in no mood to listen or add any input. I asked where Embry was, and was informed he was supposed to be at the nursery. I walked down and took a seat next to him across from the big wall-sized window.

"Well, it looks like today's the big day," I said while offering him a soft shoulder punch.

"Yeah, I know," Embry replied, staring at the baseboard across from him.

"What's wrong, Em? You should be excited, not looking like a dead man walking the green mile." I told him, curious as to why he was acting so down.

"I don't know dude, I'm happy but...to be completely honest, I'm scared out my fuckin mind. I don't know the first thing about babies, and Jenni seems so happy and excited. I'm trying to be that for her as well, but I feel like I'm jumping over the edge of a cliff not knowing if I'm gonna land on my feet or crash face first. " he said.

I was probably the last person he should be talking to about this. But as his friend I let him get it all out before I said anything. I sat there for close to twenty minutes listening to him go on and on about his insecurities.

"but look at me." he continued, "I'm not someone who should be having a kid, I probably wouldn't shower or brush my teeth on a regular basis if it weren't for Jenni. There's nothing that I can do or teach our baby. I don't even know how to hold one." He finished with a deep sigh, while raking his fingers through his hair.

"Look, you'll do great. Sam was the same way when Emily had Maggie. He didn't know the head from the bottom. But he's a great dad just like you'll be. It'll take some getting used to, but you're going to do fine. As far as not teaching her anything or doing anything, teach her what you know. She'll be ok, and so will you." I told him trying to sound encouraging.

"Yeah, all I know is cars, and I'm sure Jenni would be thrilled when her little girl comes home telling her she can rebuild a transmission." he scoffed. I just crossed my arms and rolled my eyes.

Just as I was about to open my mouth and tell him not to sweat the small things, I turned to see Leah heading towards us. I let out a deep breath and turned back to Embry, only to find him looking in the same direction and starting to stand.

Leah walked over and smiled at Embry, who in turn just walked off back towards Jenni's room. I glared at his retreating form, trying to burn holes in the back of his head, but only succeeding in having a small headache from the squinting.

I was about to get up and walk back towards the waiting room, but Leah suddenly plopped herself down on my lap, leaning in and laying her arm over my shoulders.

"The guys told me you were down here, and I just wanted to say hi. You never let me tell you bye properly last night, so I thought I would come and at least make up for it." she said.

I recoiled from her words, and tried to shrink back into the chair when I noticed Bella round the corner out of the corner of my eye. I pushed Leah off of my lap, which caused her to land on her ass on the floor. "That's real fucking cute Leah, thanks a fucking lot." I told her. I called for Bella to wait, but she was already out of the big double doors when I made it out of my seat.

I raced after her as if my life depended on it. I knew she would be hurt, but I needed to explain everything....if she'd even give me a chance. This looked just like what she always thought, but it couldn't have been farther from the truth.

I made my way out of the hospital, my eyes searching restlessly for Bella. She was no where in sight. I was about to walk over to her car, when I heard what sounded like someone vomiting in the bushes just around the corner.

I walked over cautiously, not knowing if it was Bella or not. I felt so many different things when I laid eyes on her bent over holding onto a tree, heaving everything she had in her out with every retch.

I felt happy that I had found her and didn't have to go hunt her down. I felt angry at Leah for doing this crap again. I felt dissapointed in myself for not making it clear to Leah in the first place that I would never want her, nor would I ever touch her, even with someone else's hands. I felt saddened that this is what my actions, or lack there of, had caused Bella. But most of all I felt hurt that Bella didn't trust me enough to know that she was all I ever wanted.

I took a deep breath and walked over to her placing my hand on the small of her back, but she jerked away from me.

"Don't touch me-don't you dare put your fucking hands on me now, Jacob." she growled at me, while trying to suck in deep breaths.

I backed away from her, not knowing what to say or do. I felt a deep ache in my heart as my stomach churned at her words. I knew it would be like this, but I couldn't bring myself to not hope for a different reaction. I figured angry, not sick.

"Bella, it wasn't at all what it looked like, you've got to believe me. I would never touch her like that. Please Bells, you've got to listen to me," I pleaded, not sure if my words would help anything.

Bella rose from her slumped over position and glared daggers at me. All of a sudden, her face went calm, showing no emotion what so ever. This scared me a little bit, not really sure what to expect next.

"It's fine. I was wanting to talk to you about this anyway. I'm moving out. We're done," she said, and started to walk past me, when I reached out and grabbed her elbow.

"Wait Bella, you can't just say something like that and walk away when you don't even know what happened," I told her, hoping she would listen to me.

"Let go of my arm now Jake, and yes, I can say something like that. You expect me to over look this and be ok with it. Seriously? I'll have my stuff out tomorrow, but for tonight I'll be at Angela's." she replied as I let go of her arm.

For some reason, her words cut deep and I couldn't hold my anger back anymore. That small flicker of a flame I had been feeling was an all bright explosion now, igniting everything in its path.

"Yes, I can expect you to over look it. You over react about this shit all the time Bella, and I'm sick of it. I didn't do a damn thing wrong, and you walk in there all high and mighty, thinking you know what the hell is going on when you don't know shit. I wouldn't ever touch that sleazy bitch, but undoubtedly you seem to think I would. I thought I had better taste than that, seeing as I've been with you for the past nine years. I guess I was wrong. I guess you know every fucking thing about me, don't you? You know me better than I know myself. Thank God for Isabella fucking Swan, because if it weren't for her, I wouldn't know my head from my ass," I yelled at her, while she looked at me with wide eyes.

She lifted her hand and slapped me across my face. My head jerked to the side from the impact. I couldn't help but feel a little pride that she could put that much force behind it, even though my right cheek stung a little.

"How dare you. You don't even get it," she snapped. "It isn't all about Leah, it's you, Jake. You don't care enough to look past yourself to see what I want. You're selfish for that. I wanted a life with you, but everytime I turn around, you're being felt on by some cheap skank and I'm left to drown in my insecurities alone, with no hope of you throwing me a life preserver. Just leave it alone already Jake, you can't even realize how bad you've fucked this up." she yelled back, while turning to walk away.

"That great Bells, just run away like you always do. You can never just face your problems head on." She stopped and turned around like she was going to say something, but I was on a roll and kept going. "And I fucked this up? You and your damn insecurities ruined this shit. I love you Bella, but you're too blinded by your stupid doubts to realize that. I didn't ruin this, you and your bullshit did. I'm not the selfish one here Bella, you are. You and all your self pity," I seethed, looking up to see Quil come out of the sliding doors of the hospital.

He spotted us and walked over cautiously, looking as if he were intruding on a private moment. Bella followed my gaze with her own, and noticed him just as he stopped a few feet away. Anyone with any sense could tell that we were arguing by looking at my stance or Bella's.

Her face was streaked with tears, and she had her arms crossed over her chest, as if she were cradling herself. I had one hand stuffed in the pocket of my jeans while raking the other one down my face and then through my hair.

"Hey guys, just thought I'd let you know Jenni just popped that little melon out. She was curious why Bella hadn't made it into the room yet, but Embry told her not to worry, that you'd be in there just as soon as you could manage. They should be taking her into the nursery any minute," he said now looking at Bella.

"I'll go and see her now," she said, looking at the ground. I knew she felt the same as I did, upset for missing out on the birth of their baby for this heated argument.

Quil turned and started to go back in the hospital at the same time we did, staying between us.

"Bella wait," I said, about to attempt an apology for all of the things I had just said.

"Leave it alone, Jacob. Like I said, it's over," she replied with no emotion coating her vioce, as she walked away from me.

I stopped dead in my tracks and hit my knees, feeling like my world just fell completely apart.