Disclaimer: All things Twilight related are property of S. Meyer. I own no part of it.

A/N: Warning: Sexual content to follow. If you are not old enough to purchase a pack of cigarettes in the U.S.A., you are not old enough to read this story. Or at least this chapter. (FYI:that's 18 for those of you that don't know) You have been warned. Kthxbai. See you at the bottom. -km3-

~ Selfishness is that detestable vice which no one will forgive in others, and no one is without in himself. ~ Henry Ward Beecher

BPOV

He's leaving? When did this happen? How, how could this happen? My brain couldn't grasp this fact. It was struggling to process what he meant when he said he leaving. Sensible and Senseless were both standing with their mouths gaping open. A small thought occurred to me that I, too, may have been staring at him with my mouth open.

I was finally able to form a coherent thought and close my mouth, only to re-open it to ask him, "What do you mean you're leaving? You mean, like for a little while, right? Just a mini vacation?"

I knew I was grasping at straws, that that wasn't what he meant, but I couldn't be sure. I had to at least hope that's what he meant. Looking in his eyes though, and seeing all of the emotions threatening to spill forth onto his russet cheeks, I knew different.

"No Bells," he breathed, "I'm moving." He looked down to the faded paint of the porch beneath us. The tears fell freely down my cheeks before I swiped at them with the back of my hands. I didn't want him to see that it upset me so much.

"When?" My voice betrayed me, allowing a tiny break at the end.

He glanced back up to my eyes. I saw the broken man again-not the one that I had spent the evening eating pizza and drinking beers with.

"Sunday. Today was my last day at the shop. That's why I asked you here. Bella, I'm selling the house."

I couldn't speak. My air was sucked from my lungs and my chest was caving in. He was selling the house. Our house. He was selling our house.

"I've already handled everything, I just need you to sign the papers. There's going to be an open house here in two weeks. I'd be here if I could, but I have to go..." he trailed off when he saw that I couldn't respond.

After a few moments of my emotions flying around, I finally found one that I could grasp and hold onto. Anger. He was leaving and selling our house, and expecting me to just be okay with it.

Finally, I found my voice. Senseless and Sensible cowered behind the chaise.

"So you expect me to just sign papers so that you can sell our house, and leave without telling me that you were planning to move?" I stood and stepped down in the yard so I could face him as well as walk off some of this anger. "You're giving up everything you have here for what? Why? There's no reason good enough for you to just walk away from this place. It's home, Jake. It's always been home, for both us of. And I'm not talking about just the house, I'm talking about Forks, La Push. You can't just throw it all away." I placed a hand on my hip while the other raked through my hair.

Jake stood and towered over me. "I'm not giving it up Bella, it's hard to give something up when it's been ripped away from you. When you left me, you took everything that meant something to me." He pointed to the house. "This house is nothing more than planks of wood with drywall and shingles. It means nothing to me without you here. Am I supposed to just sit here and watch you move on with that doctor, when every time I see you I want to hold you and kiss you and never let go? I can't do it anymore. It's killing me." The anger in his eyes dissipated into anguish.

I sat back down on the steps and placed my head in my hands. I didn't know what to say or do. I had made such a mess of things that I couldn't take them all back. All I could do was put my big girl panties on and deal with this like a grown up. It wasn't the fact that he was my ex-lover and he was moving. It was the fact that he was my friend, and I wouldn't get to see him anymore. I didn't even know where he was moving to.

"So three more days, huh? Okay. Do I have to be here for the Open House? Or just let them do their thing?" My voice was thick with emotion. I knew I couldn't make him stay, but knowing he was leaving because of me was really hard to deal with.

Jake continued to stand, but leaned against the side of the house, right next to the steps.

"Yeah, I have the fishing trip with Billy and Charlie Saturday, then Sunday morning I'm leaving. You don't need to be here for the Open House, it's actually preferred that the owners aren't' here." he crossed his arms over his chest and sighed deeply.

"I'm sorry Jake. I really am." The words were out of my mouth before I had thought to really say them aloud. I let the tears run freely this time, not caring to wipe them away.

"Don't be Bells. It happens. What's that song by Rob Thomas? Mockingbird? I think that fits us perfectly. Wouldn't you agree?" He sat down next to me and nudged me with his shoulder before taking my hand in his.

A sob escaped when he mentioned that song and how it 'fit us perfectly'. I had been listening to it a lot here lately, and it did fit us. Perfectly.

A thought crossed my mind while we sat silently. I had no right to ask, but I was selfish when it came to Jacob. But first, I wanted to know where he would be moving to, so I asked that question instead.

"Portland. I have a job working at another shop down there. Sam set it up for me. I start Tuesday." He rubbed circles on the back of my hand with his thumb.

"Can I...can I...Jake can I stay here tonight? It's okay if you say no, I just want one more night here. If you don't want me to, I can stay here once more when you're gone, but I just figured there was furniture here now, and there won't be when you leave. I can stay on the couch, I don't have to take the bed, it's yours after all..." I rambled.

Senseless rose from behind the chaise and glared at me with her hands on her hips. She assumed I wanted one more night with Jacob, and she wasn't wrong in her assumption-it just wasn't how she thought.

He turned towards me looked confused. "Why would you ever have to ask, Bella? This is your house just as much as it is mine. Of course you can stay here, you don't have to wait for me to leave. And you can have the bed, I can take the couch or the floor if you'd like. Come on, it's getting late anyway. Now you can watch that movie with me."

He stood and I followed him into the house, never letting go of his hand. We walked into the living room where I took a seat on the couch in the middle and he went to the entertainment center to pick out a movie.

"So, all I have is The Notebook, Pride and Prejudice, and With Love from Paris. I know you aren't big on action and blood, so what will it be? The Notebook or Pride and Prejudice? I'm up for some Mr. Darcy and Miss Elizabeth Bennett, although neither movie really did the books justice, right Bells?" He turned and shot me a very Jacob smile. He was teasing me. And I would miss this.

"You're right Jake, but I think I'm up for The Notebook. But it really doesn't matter to me, I'm good with both." I tucked my legs to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

"The Notebook it is then." He slid the disk out and placed it in the DVD player before sitting next to me on the couch. He laid his arm across the back of the couch and I curled into his side. The movie started and we stayed sitting in our positions, glued to one another. He was so warm and cheerful. I felt like if I sat close enough I could soak up enough of his warmth and smell to last until I saw him again. I knew it was a long shot, but it was worth a try.

I couldn't stand to watch when Allie left, that part hit too close to home. I buried my face in Jake's arm and ended up falling asleep. I woke up when he carried me to the bed in our old room. The TV was blinking the blue DVD logo across a black screen. The sky was still black outside, but for once it wasn't raining.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, but too quickly I was deposited onto the bed. He had pulled the sheets back and laid me down ever so gently. When he went to move away, I clung to his neck.

"Jake, please don't go. Just stay." I whispered to him, my breath brushing across his face. What I had said could have had two meanings, and I knew this. But I also knew he had to go. He had to do it for himself. And being a friend to him, I wouldn't stand in his way.

"Bells," he looked torn. Like he wanted to stay, but knew he shouldn't. Before he could say anything else, I stopped him by pressing my lips to his. It was soft, just a brush of my lips against with the smallest amount of pressure.

"Please, I'm not asking for anything else, I'm just asking you to stay right here with me for the night. Just like before; just Jake and Bells."

He thought it over for a second while he stared into my eyes. I caught a look in them that said he didn't trust my intentions, but that was quickly replaced with another. Compliance.

"Okay, just let me go change." He pried my hands from around his neck and walked into the bathroom. I wasn't sure whether it was inappropriate for me to take off my clothes and sleep in my panties in bra, but my clothes were pretty stiff and not exactly sleeping attire.

I climbed off the bed and went to the dresser where I knew I would find Jacob's t-shirts. I opened the drawer and picked the one on the top. It was a gray, standard cotton, shirt that said 'Hard Hitters' in white with orange piping. He got it when he played for recreational baseball team in Port Angeles.

I stripped of my clothes, tossing my bra off to the side, but keeping my panties on. They weren't anything fancy; just a plain black pair of cotton low rise panties. I pulled the shirt on over my head and turned to find Jake in the door way, leaning against the frame and watching me. He stood before me in nothing but a pair of mesh shorts. I knew he wasn't meaning anything when he came in like that, it was just how he slept.

"You always did prefer that shirt. Not sure why, it's always been so big on you." He walked over and climbed onto his side of the bed, pulling the sheet up to his waist and tossing the blanket to the foot of the bed.

I walked over to what was once my side and climbed in, pulling the sheet up to my chin.

"You never will get it will you? The bigger ones are always more comfortable. I don't feel like I'm trapped in them." I teased.

I rolled over, facing away from him, but scooted towards the middle of the bed. Everything smelt like Jake. The sheets, the pillows, the whole room. I would miss this too, not that I didn't already, but I would never get to have this again. With him staying here, there was always a chance that things might reconcile themselves. But he was leaving.

The bed shifted under his weight as he moved towards the middle of the bed. I could feel his breath on my neck and the warmth of his body, but he wasn't touching me. He kept enough distance in between us that I couldn't physically feel him and that bothered me.

"Jake, can you...can you maybe...wrap your arm around me?" My voice was just above a whisper.

He didn't answer with words, but instead wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into his chest. I turned over to face him and placed a hand on his chest. His embrace grew tighter around me as he inhaled deeply.

"Bella, I-" he started and his breathing was shaky, but I interrupted him with another tender kiss on his silky lips before he could say anything else.

He didn't resist me and responded appreciatively. My tongue slid forth and danced along his lips until he granted me access. I was hungry for him. I wanted every part of him that he was willing to give me. He gripped the shirt I was wearing and a small moan escaped him. I, too, released a small whimper of my own from finally having something I didn't realize I missed so we finally broke away from each other, I placed feather light kisses along his chest and his shoulders.

I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I didn't care. I wanted one more time with Jake before he was gone and I wouldn't see him anymore. I had taken him for granted in the past, but at that moment I needed him to make it all better for me.

I knew when all things came to light in the morning with the rising sun, I couldn't take it back. But did that really matter? I couldn't take anything back, so no- it didn't.

JPOV

I held her to me just as I had on many nights in the past nine and a half years. Her scent was all around me; ever consuming and invading all of my senses. I could smell her in the air, feel her lips pressed against my chest, see her here in our bed, hear her breathing softly, and now taste her on my lips.

I knew things weren't ever going to be the same as they once were, but I wanted to enjoy these last moments I had with her before I left for Portland. She was my everything, and if this was all I could have of her, then I would greedily take anything she had to offer.

I wanted this as much as she seemed to want it, but I had to ask her to be sure she wouldn't regret it.

"Bells, what are you doing?" My voice was thick with all the emotions I felt for her.

"Jake, please, just make it all better, just this one time. I'm sorry for everything I did. I'm sorry, and I know that doesn't make it better, but please Jake. Just make me forget it all-just for tonight." A sob broke free halfway through her plea with me to 'make it all better.'

"What exactly are you asking of me? How do I do that?" She was crying and if there was anything I hated to see was my Bells crying-especially because of me.

She started to wriggle out of my grasp and I didn't want to let her go, so I held on tighter to her. She pushed my arm from around her and moved up to place a kiss on my lips once again. This kiss was different though, it was hard, and absolute. Our lips were unwavering in this silent battle they were having.

My grip on her loosened and she moved to straddle my hips. Our lips parted long enough for her to remove the shirt she was wearing. I soaked in every inch of her with my eyes. She sat before me, on me, in all of her beautiful glory.

I placed my hands on her hips and pulled her down to me. I consumed her mouth with mine again, savoring the taste of all things Bella. She ground her hips into mine and moaned when she felt me rock hard beneath her.

She never broke the kiss as her nimble fingers found the waist band of my shorts and began tugging them down. I lifted my hips to allow her to remove them fully.

When she was done pulling the offending article down my legs, I flipped her over onto her back. She gasped at the movement and reward me with a very bright smile. I returned the smile and asked if I could remove the only thing keeping her from being completely nude.

Bella nodded her head while she bit her bottom lip. I swear she would chew it off one day from how much she bit on it. She planted her heels in the bed and lifted her hips while I hooked my fore-fingers into the sides of her panties and slowly slid them down her ivory colored legs.

I tossed her panties to the floor before repositioning myself above her. I was aligned with her entrance, but I wasn't ready to plunge into her yet. I wanted to adore her body one last time. I kissed every inch of her-her face, her arms, her hands, her breasts, her stomach, her legs her feet.

I made my way back up the juncture between her thighs and tasted her. She was as sweet as ever. I lavished her with kisses and soft licks before focusing my tongue on her nub and placing two fingers inside her.

She moaned and arched her back off of the bed. I would miss having this effect on her. I would miss watching her body react this way to me. Because of me.

I felt her body start to tremble, but I wasn't ready to let her have her release yet. I removed my fingers and mouth from her core and rose to kiss her on her full lips. She moaned and ground her hips against my left leg that was laying between her legs.

I was finally ready to plunge into her warmth, so I re-aligned myself with her opening and thrust into her. We both groaned out at the feel and I caught a single tear that slipped down her cheek with my lips. My sight became blurry with my own tears.

I blinked them away and watched as they fell to her chest. She pulled my down on her and began moving her hips to the same rhythm as mine. We moved together in what seemed like an intricate dance choreographed by each others' bodies.

Our chests rose and fell together to the rhythm of our movements. There was no shouting of expletives or cries of passion. The only sounds were our labored breathing. When we were close to our mutual climaxes I wrapped my arms under her back and held her as close to me as I could get her.

I poured everything I had into her with three final thrusts. Her body quaked and her muscles clenched around me soon after. I laid on top of her for a moment, allowing my breathing to return to normal.

When I had finally caught my breath I pulled out of her and rolled on my side, bringing her with me. She laid her head on my arm and I held her tightly to my chest. I didn't want this moment to end. I wanted her to stay with me forever this way. Just the two of us, just Jake and Bells. Like we were supposed to be.

The black abyss of sleep was trying to overtake me, but I fought to keep my eyes opened. I was greedy and wanted to soak in every little detail. Bella had fallen asleep a while ago, but I couldn't find it in me to waste a minute by dreaming of what I had here in my arms.

I laid there awake watching her breathe and occasionally smile. My name left her lips twice, causing me to hold her a little tighter. I watched out the window as the sky started to fade from the blackness of night to the dreary grays of morning. I finally drifted off as the bright rays of the sun tried to break through the clouds, failing miserably.

I drifted off to a dream starring Bella and myself. Our life played out before me just as it should have gone. I saw our wedding and our children being born. I watched as we grew old together and sat on our porch in our rocking chairs, watching our grand kids play in the yard.

I felt soft lips brush across my lips and looked over to see a gray haired Bella sitting next to me. She was many years older, but just as beautiful as the day I had first laid eyes on her.

"I love you Jake," she whispered.

"I love you too, Bells," I tried to say, but no words came out. I had no voice.

I awoke to the sound of my phone ringing across the room. I glanced over and saw nothing but an empty spot where Bella had laid the night before. I could still smell her on the sheets and around me. A tiny sliver of my heart broke off into pieces because she was gone without saying anything.

I climbed out of bed and went to grab my phone. I picked it up and noticed that it was Embry calling. Not feeling in the mood to talk to him, I went to lay my phone back down. I noticed a manila envelope with a small folded piece of paper laying next to where my phone had been. The envelope contained the papers Bella had needed to sign so I could sell the house. I glanced over them and saw her signature on every page that needed it.

Going back to the bed, folded piece of paper in hand, I sat on the edge and read what she had to say.

Dear Jake,

I'm sorry this is all I can leave you with. Thank you for always being here for me, I'm really going to miss you. You are a great friend to anyone who has the chance to get that close to you. I hope you come back and see us sometime. Enjoy Portland, and I hope you find everything you're looking for.

-Bella

I crumbled up the paper and threw it into the corner before climbing back into bed to try and find my way back to my dream. That was where I was happy, that was where things made sense.

A/N: Don't hate me for this, it had to happen, or at least he thinks so. Let me know what you think, I'd love to hear your thoughts. If you want some humor and some awkward moments for Bella and Jake, check out my other story The Hard Arse. Songs mentioned in this chapter are Mockingbird by Rob Thomas, and I think...that's the only one. If I'm wrong, please feel free to not call me on it. Songs that helped out here were Like You'll Never See Me Again by Alicia Keys, Pretend by Secondhand Serenade, and No Surprise by Daughtry. I hope to update soon, and just in case you're wondering, he won't be gone for long. Thanks for reading, -km3-