Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Twilight Saga such as characters, but I do however have a very crappy phone that likes to make prank calls at all hours of the night.
A/N: I know it's been a while, and I'm really sorry. I found this thing called writer's block and then I found this other thing called Real Life and they both kicked my ass. Hard. But, I finally got this out, and none of you will like me for this, but it happened. You've waited long enough, so on with it already...
BPOV
I drove away from Jake's house, not sure what I had just done.
That's a lie.
I knew exactly what I had done, and I deserved all of the pain that was ripping me apart at the moment. I had to keep it at bay until I made it to the safety of my house. My vision was blurry as I pulled onto my road and into my gravel drive. I turned off the ignition and leaned my head against the steering wheel, letting the full impact of what I had just done wash through me.
My heart shattered into a million shards of itty bitty pieces that fell to the pit of my stomach. Wave after wave of dysphoria rolled over me and crashed into my already mangled heart. I was a horrible person. So horrible for what I had done to Jake weeks ago, and horrible for what I made him endure last night. I knew he still loved me and would do anything for me, and I took full advantage of that fact. I was still unclear about everything that had gone on with him and Leah, but I couldn't get it off of my mind. While I lay there with Jake last night, if felt like it always had – natural, as if that was how we were meant to be. But he was leaving. And he didn't ask me to go with him. If he really wanted me, he would have asked me to go, right?
Last night had been so beautiful, it was like our first time all over again. Everything was so sweet as we took our time pouring everything out to each other with our bodies. He worshiped every inch of me with all of him, and I greedily took everything he had to offer. I slept better last night than I had since this whole screwed up thing started.
I had no desire to get out of my car and walk the thirty feet to my front door. I didn't care that I was supposed to be at work in two hours and I needed to get cleaned up. I smelt of stale beer, but more than anything, I smelt of Jake. I wasn't ready to rid myself of that scent yet.
After sitting there crying for everything that I had ruined and would never have again, I felt it was time to finally get out of the car and face the day. I had no more tears left to cry, and I had promised myself long ago that I would never cry another tear for Jacob Black.
I trudged to the front porch, retrieving my keys from my purse and unlocking the door. Senseless was glad to be home, but Sensible longed to be elsewhere. She yearned for something that was lost to us now.
I took a quick shower and pulled on a fitted pair of khaki slacks and a black button down shirt with the sleeves ending right above the elbows. I slipped on my black flats and pulled my hair into a messy bun. Make-up was not a necessity; after the amount of time I sat in my car crying this morning, there wasn't enough time to really apply any, nor was there enough make up in the world to cover up my puffy, swollen eyes and blotchy red nose. I was willing to let the world see how broken I was, even if I wouldn't allow Jake to see it.
I grabbed my purse and headed back out to my car, hoping to make it by the coffee shop on my way to work. I locked the door and turned for the car, only to be greeted by a bright, smiling face I hadn't seen in quite some time.
"Bella," Edward smiled at me as he leaned against my tattered old car.
I smiled at him, but as soon as I saw how big he smiled, mine faltered greatly. How could I be happy to see him after what I had just done? We weren't together together, but I still felt guilty for what I had done with Jake last night.
Senseless shot me a look that said 'you're in trouble now!' I inwardly cringed, seeing as how she was probably right. Sensible however, offered an apologetic smile.
I wasn't blind to how two parts of me – two equally screwed up parts that both seemed to be somewhat of a martyr – clung to two completely opposite people. They both wanted two different things, one being Edward because he was new and beautiful, and new was always exciting and adventurous. Where Jake was old, and comfortable and...like going home. But I couldn't go home, my home was no longer here. My home was leaving me to find something else, and give me space he felt I needed.
I was torn. Torn between new and exciting, or old and comfortable.
Edward walked toward me, having noticed the bright smile I felt for him fade to a meager product of its former state.
I didn't want him to feel like I wasn't happy to see him, I was, but I felt ashamed of myself. This man wanted to know me, me-Isabella Marie Swan, heart breaker and soul stealer. Okay, maybe soul stealer was a little much, but still.
"Edward, what are you doing here? I thought you were coming back.." Then it dawned on me, today was yesterday's tomorrow. "Oh. Sorry, slow moment, my days are running together." I laughed nervously, hoping he couldn't sense the shame I had for myself and my greedy actions.
"Well, it turns out they didn't need me there anymore, so I was free to come home. I haven't even made it my house yet. I couldn't wait to see you. Sorry, that may be a little forward." I blushed at his statement.
"No, it's okay, I was just heading to work. I'm glad you stopped by." I said, closing the distance between us. He leaned in to give me a hug, which I returned. There was a sense of comfort I felt being this close to him, but nothing compared to how I felt with Jake last night.
He held on, and breathed a sigh of...relief? I pulled away after a while, needing to head for work already and possibly distance myself from the feelings of guilt I felt in his presence. He placed his hands on my shoulders and really looked at me like he was searching for the answers to life.
"Bella, are you okay, you look like you've been crying. Is something wrong?" Worry spread across his perfect features and once again, I felt my heart break just a bit more.
"Oh, no. Nothing's wrong, I'm just...not having that great of a start to today, that's all. You know, women's emotions, they're all over the place." I chuckled, hoping he would drop it.
"Well, I completely understand that, my mother was...well let's just say, I had an interesting trip. I can tell you all about it some other time. I see you need to get to work, and I have some unpacking I have to do before I head to the office to catch up on some things."
"Yeah, I do. Angela's off today, so it'll be just me there. I'll call you later, okay?" I began to back towards my car, and fish for the car key on my key ring.
"Sure, that's fine. How about dinner tomorrow night in Port Angeles?" He opened my car door and closed it once I was seated inside.
"Um, I'll have to see, but I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem." I put the key in the ignition, turning it over, and putting the car in reverse.
"Great, just let me know. See you later, Bella." He patted the roof of my car before I slowly backed out of the drive. I watched in the rear view mirror as he gracefully climbed in his car and pulled away from my house.
I didn't have time to stop by the coffee shop. The day was not starting at all how I had hoped it would. I still had all of the shipment invoices to go over and books to stock. I really wished Angela could have picked a different day to want to spend time with Ben, but what can you do? She did deserve time for her and her husband.
The morning wasn't busy, so most of my time was spent thinking about Jake and Edward. I loved Jake, but I just couldn't get over what he did. I know sleeping with him last night was not the best way to say that I didn't want to be with him, but like I had said many times before to myself, I was selfish. I wanted all of him, just not the cheating parts. I wish there was a way I could mold the perfect man out of clay, sorta like Phoebe and Paige did for Piper in that one episode of Charmed, but without all the magic stuff tied in.
Edward was a really nice guy, and although I had only gone to coffee with him once and had him over to my house one time, I still felt comfortable with him. He was like a breath of fresh air in the madness I called my life. There wasn't much to our relationship though, it was mainly just texts and the occasional times we got to see each other. Edward just seemed like a great guy, and even though I didn't really know what was going to happen between us – whether or not we were going to begin dating or whatnot- I didn't want to get too close to him for fear that I may one day hurt him, or God forbid, him hurt me.
I just couldn't take anymore of being hurt by the opposite sex.
I ate lunch in the back office, not once being interrupted by someone coming into the shop. The rest of the day passed just as slowly as it had started. Only three people came in after my hour long lunch break, all purchasing a book and leaving soon after. Jake didn't make his usual stop by the shop, nor did I receive my daily delivery of forget-me-nots.
This worried me some, and only added to the things on my mind as I finished up my shipment orders and book stocking, and waited for six o'clock to roll around. When it was five til six, I counted down the drawer, made out a deposit slip for the following morning, and left.
On my way home, my phone buzzed. I retrieved it from my purse, and noticed it was Charlie calling.
"Hey dad, what's up?" I held the phone between my ear and shoulder, trying to shift gears.
"Hey Bells, not much. I was wondering if you'd like to maybe do something this weekend with your old man. Say, maybe go fishing with me and some buddies?" His voice held the hope he didn't want me to hear, but did nonetheless.
I wasn't much of a fisher, seeing as I couldn't really walk down the sidewalk without face-planting into something, but I probably should spend some time with him. Then it occurred to me, he said buddies, as in, more than one. I remembered Jake saying something about going fishing with his dad and Charlie this weekend, and just couldn't bring myself to commit to a fishing trip. It wasn't like I had gone on many before, so maybe he wouldn't mind me skipping out on one more. After what I had done to him, I couldn't bring myself to spend the day in such a close proximity with Jacob.
"Um, Dad...I'm...hmm...I'm not so sure Dad. I have a ton of things to do at work, and not enough time in the day to do all of it. Can I take a rain check on that?" I was glad to be talking to him over the phone instead of to his face, maybe he couldn't tell that I was lying about having so much work to do.
"Oh honey, I wish you would come hang out with your old man just once, but maybe next time. I know how much that book store means to you, and I'd hate to see you get behind on anything. Lord only knows how long it takes to get caught up when that happens." I could hear the disappointment in his voice, but was happy that his love for work allowed him to understand what I was saying.
"No joke. Well listen, I have to get running. I have some things to do and I really shouldn't be on my phone while I'm driving." He knew how accident prone I was.
"Yeah, you don't have the best of luck when standing, much less operating a motor vehicle. I'll talk to you later, Bells. Come by and see me sometime. Greenish-brown female sheep." I could hear the smile in his voice.
"Back at 'cha, Dad. I'll come by soon." I hung up and smiled at his show of affection, as I always do. It's never much, but it was Charlie.
As I turned down my street, I realized I wasn't ready to be alone with my thoughts at the moment. After spending the day mostly isolated in the shop with them, I wanted to be around people. Well, not too many, but I hadn't seen or talked to Jenni in so long, and I'm sure Emma was getting bigger. I hadn't seen her since she was born.
I made the short drive down to La Push, watching the rain lightly drizzle onto my wind shield and listening to my tires crunch the gravel underneath. The wipers would squeak every so often, but it was a welcomed interruption to the monotony of the drive. Everything looked the same, the trees still shown a vibrant array of greens and the sky was a dull gray.
When I reached the drive, I noticed that Embry was home. I figured with Jake leaving he would be at the shop longer, but I guess I was wrong. I turned off the car and made the trek to the front door. Coming here unannounced was not my usual way of doing things, but I just wanted to feel something familiar. Be someplace I knew.
Before I was able to knock on the solid wooden door, it was thrown open and I stood face to face with Claire.
"Bella! Man, I haven't seen you in forever! Come here girl!" She embraced me in a hug so tight, I thought my lungs might never hold air again.
"Claire...air...I need...air." I choked out while patting her on the back.
She released me from her iron grip, and smiled at me. She was so beautiful. Her tawny colored skin was utterly flawless and had a light glow to it.
"Thanks, I kinda need air sometimes. You know, have to breathe." I joked. She laughed and stepped sideways so I could enter the house.
We walked down the hall to the living room to where Embry and Jenni were sitting on the couch, holding Emma between them.
"Look what I found on my way out to the car." Claire took a seat in the chair on the far wall.
"Hey Bella, where have you been? I haven't seen you in forever. What 'cha been up to?" Jenni placed Emma in Embry's arms and rose from the couch to embrace me in a hug.
"Hey Bells, what's up?" Embry asked, looking up at me.
I released Jenni from the hug and moved to sit on the love seat facing Embry.
"Not much, you know. Just working. Trying to catch up on all the paperwork. What about you guys, what have I missed?" I tucked a few strands of hair behind my ears before placing my hands in my lap and leaning back into the inviting softness of the love seat.
They told me about all the sleepless nights and how Embry had yet to go back to work full time because Emma demanded so much attention, that he couldn't leave Jenni to do it all on her own.
The conversation flowed effortlessly until it came back to me. They wanted to know about the guy I had had coffee with a while back. They wanted details, but I wasn't willing to offer much, especially with Embry in the room. An awkward silence fell over us, and Embry took this as his cue to leave.
He took a sleeping Emma down the hall and placed her in her crib before walking to the front door and hollering that he'd be back later on.
Once it was just us girls, I spilled everything out to them. All about Edward, and how things were going there. Truth be told, there really wasn't much to tell. Sure he seemed like a great guy, but I just really didn't know much about him. I told them about Jacob sending all the flowers and stopping by the shop. And about the previous night. I told them everything. When I was done, I realized I had tears staining my face. I stopped talking and the room fell silent. No one spoke.
Claire finally cleared her throat and stood from her spot at the table after what felt like hours, but was actually just a few minutes. "Well, I think this calls for a drink."
"Claire, I don't think-" Jenni began, but Claire silenced her with a look that said 'we're having a drink dammit, now shut the hell up'. "I think it's a good idea, so suck it up and put on those big girl panties. We're going out for a girls' night. Call Em. Now."
I glanced at her retreating form as she stalked off to Jenni and Embry's room to dig through Jenni's closet I assumed.
"Well Bella, I guess there's no choice left. She seems pretty set on this." Jenni tried to look as if she didn't want to go, but she couldn't help the small smile that played at the corners of her lips. I suppose she was happy to get a chance to go out. I was scared a bit actually, not sure if I was really in need of a drink like Claire said. The waterworks were already working, so it's not like I needed to add alcohol to the mix and make it worse. But then again, I hadn't been out in so long with my friends, and I truly missed spending time with them.
"Well, I suppose she's right. After all, how long has it been since you had a drink? The night you and Em conceived Emma right?" I teased.
"Hush up. Now go on and get ready, I'm gonna call Embry to come home and sit with Emma." She hopped to the phone with more pep than what was normal. One could easily tell that she was excited to be going out. I could do this. I would do this. If not for myself, then at least for my friends.
I hurried home after telling them that I needed to go change. I figured this way I was able to have a few moments to better compose myself before we went out. I wasn't a heavy drinker, but I always liked to think that I could handle my own. Jake didn't ever agree with me on this fact. It was always an ongoing argument between the two of us, but not so much that it hindered the fun we had together.
The memories of all the late night games of Beer Pong and Quarters with the guys began flooding my brain. Truth be told, I could still hang with the girls and feel okay. But the guys, I wasn't sure of. Of course I considered them friends, family even, but that was when I was with Jake. How would I be accepted by them now that I wasn't with Jake? Embry had spoken to me earlier, but even he was a little standoffish.
Once I arrived home and made it inside, I went to my closet to pick out something to wear. I didn't have too many things to pick from in the 'night out' department, but I was able to find a comfortable, silver, tulip dress with flowing sleeves. The dress ended about mid-thigh and with it being somewhat cooler outside in the evening, I added a pair of black tights and a pair of black stiletto ankle boots.
After adding a long black and silver beaded necklace, matching dangling earrings, a bit of makeup, and fixing my hair into soft waves that flowed down my back, I was ready to go with the girls. I called them to make sure we were meeting at the club as planned, and left after hearing from Claire that they were ready to leave as well.
I hopped in the car and drove the short drive to the Bohemian Lounge in Port Angeles. It wasn't packed, but that was okay because it was still early and I wasn't big on being in large groups. At least while I was sober, anyway.
Jenni and Claire had yet to arrive, so I waited in the car for them. I wasn't about to walk into the club all alone. I had only been there a few times before with Jake and the group, and wasn't sure how I would deal with being here without him for the first time. My nerves were starting to get the best of me, and I almost backed out, wanting nothing more than to drive back home and curl up with a good book and forget this nonsense.
But I couldn't. I had told them I would go, and with all I had been going through as of late, I could probably use the night out. Senseless was dancing around in a pair of heels I would never dare to wear while Sensible threw me a look that was very hard to ignore. She didn't want to go in the club anymore than I did.
Five minutes of sitting in the car second guessing myself, Jenni's Silver Altima pulled up beside me, with the girls getting out and straightening their clothes soon after.
I climbed out of the car, straightening my dress as well and coming to stand next to Claire.
"Are you ready to get your drink on, Bells?" she asked, nudging me with her elbow.
I cocked an eyebrow at her, "Um, I guess."
"That's the spirit. Shall we?" She asked as she hooked her arms in Emily's and mine.
When we entered the club, Claire dragged us straight to the bar.
"I'll have an Amaretto Sour, she'll have a Malibu and Pineapple," she said pointing at Jenni, "and she'll have.." she trailed off, looking at me.
"Cherry Vodka Sour." I offered.
"Alrighty then, Cherry Vodka Sour it is." Claire smiled at the bartender and handed him a card. "It's all on me tonight."
He was a handsome young guy. He was considerably tall, not as tall as Jake was, but maybe more like Edward. His eyes were a bright blue, not at all like Jake's dark brown or Edward's vibrant green. His smile didn't touch his eyes like Jake's did, and his lips weren't as full as Jake's either, but were fuller than Edward's.
Why am I comparing this guy I've never met to the two men in my life? I thought to myself as Jenni handed me my drink and led us to a table close to the door. The music was loud, some techno dance mix that was reverberating off the walls and tables. Our drinks sloshed in our cups slightly as the bass picked up.
"Wanna dance? I love this song?" Jenni asked as she leaned across the table.
"Not yet, maybe after I've had a few more drinks in me." I shouted back to her.
I took a sip of my drink and looked around at all the people who were in the club. Most of the people were couples, either out for a night alone or with groups of other couples, I assumed. There was a group of men who sat alone, no girls to keep them company, but they looked to be having a good time amongst themselves.
There was a loner at a table in the corner behind me. His back was to me, so I couldn't tell if he was waiting on someone or drowning his sorrows in a glass of Jack.
There were so many different things going on all at once. I wasn't really feeling the alcohol yet, so I wasn't ready to dance. A few of the guys from the group across the dance floor from us came over and asked if any of us would like to dance.
"Sorry guys, we're married." Claire frowned and shrugged her shoulders, leaving the men to walk back to their table without a partner to dance with.
I was a little bother by Claire's quick dismissal of the men. They were nice looking young men, seemed to be around our age. I couldn't get past the 'we're married' thing. I wasn't married. Why shouldn't I have been able to dance with one of them? Not that I would have, it would just have been nice to have the choice to answer for myself.
The little bud of irritation was beginning to grow as I sat silently gulping my drink while Claire and Jenni talked about inconsequential things. I didn't feel like commenting on relationships since I wasn't in one myself. Truth be told, I was rather bored.
Song after song played, more people began to cram into the small club, and drink after drink was gulped down. I soon began to feel the effects of the light red liquid I was consuming. If I kept on down the path I was on, there would be no way in hell I was going to be able to drive myself home.
Finally, there was a song that came on that I recognized and liked the beat of. I had downed enough liquid courage and decided that I was ready to dance.
"I love this song! Are you girls ready to hit the floor?" I shouted to them. Claire was the first to answer.
"Girl, I've been ready for so long, I was about to go without you!" She grabbed my hand and I eagerly followed her and Jenni out onto the dance floor. We began dancing, swaying and moving with the music. Jenni dropped down, popping her ass up and down in front of me, while Claire moved against me from behind. I rolled my hips and shook my thighs, really getting into the song.
I was really enjoying dancing with the girls, but after four up beat songs, I really needed something else to drink. I made my way to the bar after asking if they needed anything while I was there. Both declined and continued to dance with each other.
"Can I get another Cherry Vodka Sour, please?" I asked the bartender who I was diligently scrutinizing earlier.
"Sure, anything else?" He shot me a perfectly white smile.
"No, that's all, thanks." I smiled as he walked away.
"That's not what at all I pictured you to drink." A familiar voice spoke from behind me.
"Edward, what are you doing here?" I asked. I was rather excited to see him and almost flung myself at him when I went to hug him. I was really feeling the alcohol now, and he smelled so good, I didn't want to let go.
He pulled away, but left his hand on the small of my back. "I looked online for somewhere I could have a drink at and this place said it was a lounge, so I figured I'd give it a try. I was thinking it might actually be a bit quieter here, but it's okay. Who are you here with?"
"Oh just a couple of friends. We came for a girl's night out."
"Here's your drink, ma'am." The bartender handed me the drink and a napkin. I leaned against the bar, drink in hand.
"So did you come alone, or are you here with some friends?" I asked Edward. His hair was in a beautiful disarray with one lock falling forward onto his forehead.
"I came alone. Like I said, I just thought this was going to be some sort of lounge, like a gentleman's club minus the naked ladies." We both chuckled.
"Well, you aren't going to find much like that around here." I glanced over at Claire and Jenni on the dance floor. They were now accompanied by Quil and Embry. I looked over at our table and noticed a bunch of the guys had come out with them, as well as their wives. Then I looked over to the other end of the bar and saw her. Leah.
I grew instantly pissed. I had hoped like hell I wouldn't run into her anymore after the incident in the hospital bathroom. Fate really didn't like me much. Senseless put on a pair of boxing gloves and began to jump around while Sensible sat in a row of bleachers and held up a pennant that said 'Go Bella'. I took in a long breath and held it for a while before releasing it and taking a gulp of my drink.
"Did you want to go back to your friends? I didn't plan on staying much longer, I was almost ready to leave until I saw you. I just wanted to say hi and see how you were doing. I didn't get to really talk to you this morning." I scanned the group of my friends, looking to see if he was here, but I didn't spot him anywhere.
Good, I thought. That's all I need. Jake, Edward, and Leah all in the same building.
"What? No. No, it seems to have gotten a bit crowded over there. Did you want to sit down?" I gestured to an empty table for two.
"Sure, wherever you want to sit is fine." He held his arm out for me to go first. I picked a table close to the bar, but still in view of where I had been sitting with Claire and Jenni. Edward sat facing the door and my table of friends, while I sat across from him with my back to the door.
We talked for a little while, shouted really, before he asked if I would like to dance with him. It was a slow song, a country one. I was still reeling from the copious amounts of liquor I had been consuming all night and anxiously agreed.
When we made it out onto the dance floor, he pulled me close to him, but left a smidgen of room between us as he placed his hand on the small of my back and with the other, held my hand to his chest. The gesture was sweet and I laid my head against his shoulder, inhaling the lovely scent of him.
"Um, Bella. Are you sniffing me?" He pulled his head back to look at me as I looked up at him, wide eyed.
"Wha- no. Yes. I mean, you just smell really good, Edward. I'm sorry. Does it bother you? If it does, I won't do it anymore."
He chuckled and placed a soft kiss on my forehead. "No, it's just that I don't think I've ever had anyone sniff me before, is all. Do you do that to everyone or just good looking doctors you stumble into?" He tried to hide his little smirk, but failed miserably.
"I don't make it a habit to sniff people. I just happen to think you smell like...sooo freakin' good right now. What is that?" I sniffed again.
"Oh woman, you're funny when you're drunk." He laughed as he released his hold on me and spun me around. Mid spin, I noticed a set of very dark, very familiar eyes watching me.
Jake. Oh God, no.
I didn't know what to do, so I kept dancing with Edward until the song was over. Once it was done, I asked if we could go sit back down. He agreed, stating that the new song playing was 'a little much' for him.
"Did you want another drink?" He asked as we got to the table, to which I quickly nodded. He made his way to the bar and I sat down in Edward's seat. I really didn't know what to think or say after seeing Jake here. He wasn't supposed to be here tonight. None of them were except for Claire and Jenni.
Part of me grew very upset, thinking they had planned this all on purpose. Maybe that was why Claire was so quick to turn down the group of guys who had wanted to dance with us. The music kept booming loudly, blocking most of my thoughts with it's deafening beat.
The one thing it wasn't blocking was the thought of Jake and I the night before and the look on his face when he was watching me dance. He looked pissed, but that couldn't be right because if he was, he would have said something, right?
He wouldn't have just stood there on the side of the dance floor as I danced with Edward if he still wanted to be with me. Right?
I kept my head down, not wanting to see Jake looking at me. I could feel his glare, or so I thought. It could have been anyone's I suppose. Edward came back with our drinks and sat down with his back to the door.
We sat and talked for a few minutes as much as we could over the music. When it grew to be too difficult or just plain annoying to yell over the music, we sat in silence watching everything that was happening around us.
I didn't want to look in Edward's direction, because then I would be looking in Jake's as well. Or at least where he was standing earlier. When Edward commented on the song that was now playing, I couldn't help but look his way. When I did, I saw that Leah was grinding on Jake in a very raunchy way. He didn't seem to mind really, it almost seemed as if he wasn't paying her any mind at all. But the feelings of jealousy and anger rose up inside from somewhere deep in the pit of my stomach again.
I think more than anything, it hurt to have it thrown in my face like that. He knew how I felt about it, but he didn't seem to care. Last night seemed to mean nothing to him. Maybe it was one of those 'I don't want to be with you, but I want to fuck you one more time' things. But we didn't fuck. We made love. It wasn't all in my head, it was real. I couldn't wrap my head around how he could make love to me and then treat me as if I was nothing.
The next song that came on was a fast paced hip hop one. I leaned across the table and asked Edward if he wanted to dance. At first he looked unsure, but once I grabbed his hand and led him to the dance floor, there wasn't much room for him to protest. I pulled him against me from behind and placed his hands on my hips. As I started to move, he moved with me. He turned out to be a very good dancer, and was soon leading me, rather than how we had initially started.
I bent forward, grinding my ass into him as I dropped down low to the ground. As I came back up, I looked up to see Jake and all of my friends staring at me. Most of the guys had shock etched into their features, but Jake didn't. Jake had fury. More than he had earlier. Leah was clinging to his arm, trying to dance on him still, but he wasn't paying her any mind at all by this point. He stood with his arms crossed and his lips pursed. His eyebrows furrowed and his muscles flexed.
If I knew anything at all about him, it was what he looked like when he was mad. Senseless kept saying he didn't have a right to be mad, he was just allowing that whore to rub her ass and her tits all over him and he did nothing to stop her. Sensible, on the other hand, felt bad for Jake. There had to have been a reason for him to be so upset, but still he wasn't making any move towards me or trying to talk to me.
I've always heard actions speak louder than words, and his actions towards me spoke volumes.
He didn't want me anymore.
I turned around and stood with one leg in between Edward's and began grinding against him while throwing an arm over his shoulder. His hands found purchase on my hips once again, and he pulled me even closer.
We continued to dance like this for a few more songs, with him holding me close and me gyrating all over him.
"Bella, do you think we can take a break? I need to get something to drink, and your friends have been staring at you for quite some time." Edward asked once the music switched to something a little slower.
"Sure, no problem. I need to use the restroom anyway."
"Did you want something else to drink, or are you good?"
"I'm good, I think I still have some in my cup on the table." I told him as he turned and headed back to the bar. I watched him as he ordered his drink and then turned to go to the restrooms. When I looked over to see if Jenni and Claire were still here, I saw Jake looking at me with some sort of emotion that resembled hurt mixed with hostility.
I shook off the feelings of guilt and made my way to the restroom. I shouldn't feel guilty, after all, I didn't do anything wrong. We're not together, but still the feeling wouldn't leave me.
Once I made my way back out to the main area, I glanced over to see if Jake was still there. He wasn't. I looked around and couldn't find him anywhere. Trying not to worry about where he was, I made my way back towards Edward.
The dance floor was full, and everyone was crowding around it. I sat down at the table and glanced towards the door just in time to see Jacob leave with Leah right behind him. My heart sank. This wasn't happening. Right in front of me all over again.
I could hear Edward asking me something, but I was too wrapped up in my thoughts of Jacob and my own self pity to catch what he was actually saying. I went to stand up and in doing so, stumbled a bit and knocked my drink off of the table.
"Bella, are you okay?" Edward stood and held onto my arm to steady me. So many things were running through my mind and all I wanted to do was leave. Just get out of there and go somewhere away from this madness that was my life.
"Uh, yeah. Yeah I'm fine. Hey, you want to go somewhere?"
A/N: So yeah...not much for the music on this one, maybe Sunny Sweeny's A Table Away, but not really. =\ Not much to really say except I'm horribly and tremendously sorry for taking so damn long to write something. I have plans for this story, one being to go back and redo a bunch of it, but I don't know if I really want to or if I'm just thinking my skills at writing are not up to par...Either way, I'll be getting on with this chapter and the next installment of The Hard Arse pretty soon. That chapter is almost done, just a bit more.
If you want to follow me on Twitter, the name is kennedymommy3. There are some random, bitchy, silly times over there. I think that's it. Hope you don't hate me too much. -km3-