"What do you mean you can't let me in?" Kurt demanded, while Finn shifted awkwardly beside him. Both stood just outside the metal gates that separated the parking lot and the grounds of Dalton Academy. An older, uniformed man stood in front of them, arms crossed and a stern expression on his face. Finn darted his eyes from the man to Kurt, then back again. They arrived a little over two and a half hours after they left McKinley—the longer drive a result of heavy traffic—and it looked as if their trip was about to come to an abrupt end if the security guard blocking their path was any indication.
"There was an incident that took place here yesterday," the guard explained, "and as a result, we are not allowing any unauthorized visitors onto school grounds. I'm sorry, but if you are not on the visitor's list, or do not have anyone to sign you in, I cannot let you on the premises."
Kurt's mouth fell open in shock before twisting into what Finn recognized as his 'I'm about to say a lot of big words that will make you feel like a complete idiot' look. Finn didn't think that would help, really, so quickly reached over and patted Kurt on the shoulder. "Kurt, why don't you try calling Blaine again?" he suggested.
Kurt snapped his mouth shut before nodding wordlessly and pulled out his phone to make the call. Crisis temporarily diverted, Finn breathed an internal sigh of relief before using the opportunity to peer past the guard to take in the school around him. When they first approached the school in Kurt's car, he was a bit dumbstruck with how massive the school was. Upon closer inspection, he was right in that everything was made of grey stone and certain buildings looked more like castles than what he assumed were classrooms. He could see at least two fountains from the gate and nice open courtyards with trees and park benches. What stood out the most to Finn though was how perfect it all looked—like a scene out of a movie—and not like any other high school he had ever seen before. There was no doubt in his mind that you had to be pretty loaded to go to this school.
Finn's attention eventually returned to Kurt and he saw that the shorter diva was worrying the bottom of his lip again and that his knuckles were white where he held his phone.
Kurt hadn't wound down a bit since they left McKinley. They were about halfway into their trip when Finn finally dredged up the nerve to ask the other what was going on. The ride up to that point was in stony silence and Finn was growing more anxious with how Kurt's expression changed continuously from anger to worry to dread. Finn was used to mood swings (Rachel went through moods like it was out of style), but wasn't used to them coupled with gloomy silence.
"So...are you going to let me know what's going on?" Finn asked in a rush. "I mean, I know things haven't been really...cool...between us lately, but you know, with your dad and my mom, it's like we're almost brothers now. So, you can, you know, tell me stuff. If you want."
Kurt turned his head until he faced Finn, eyes assessing and Finn felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise in unease. After what felt like a very long time, but was only mere seconds, Kurt returned to staring down into his lap and Finn released the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. Kurt had a way of looking right through you and it never failed to make Finn nervous.
When the silence stretched past a few minutes, Finn risked a few, quick sideways glances and saw that Kurt was staring at his hands, which were clenching and unclenching repeatedly before finally clamping into fists. He saw Kurt's eyes narrow and a determined look settle on his face.
"Karofsky kissed me."
"Wait—What?" Finn said, wide eyes leaving the road entirely to gawk at Kurt and the car swerved a little.
"Finn Hudson, if you put a single scratch on my baby, I will CUT you!"
Finn snapped his eyes back to the road in front of him, but his brain was still trying to catch up to what his ears had heard. "Why would he...when did that happen?"
"Because he's a closeted hypocrite of the worst kind," Kurt said voice full of disdain, but the self-righteous anger that consumed him only a moment ago drained just as quickly. "He did it two weeks ago," Kurt confessed, his entire body drooping. "He shoved me into my locker and it was just—I couldn't take it anymore. I ran after him and gave him a piece of my mind."
Finn expelled a surprised breath. "Dude...he could have slaughtered you."
Kurt laughed, shaking his head. "I wasn't thinking about that though. I was just fed up, and Blaine..." Kurt bit his lip, voice trailing away.
"Blaine knew what it was like," Kurt finally said. "He knew what I was going through—understood it. He gave me the perspective to decide to stand up for myself."
Finn's brow furrowed. "He told you to confront a guy who had a hundred pounds on you? No offense, dude, but I don't think that was the smartest advice."
Kurt scowled. "It was much better advice than I'd been given recently—or rather the only advice and support I'd been given and what would you have done, Finn? No one cares. The faculty sees this all the time and they don't do anything. I couldn't—How was I supposed to know he would—"
Kurt inhaled a few calming breaths, eyes closed briefly before saying in a more level tone, "It was awful. One minute we were screaming at each other and the next he was—"
"Yeah, okay, I get it," Finn interjected quickly not really wanting to hear the details, but Kurt continued on as if he hadn't spoken, his voice slightly detached.
"He kissed me. When he pulled back, he tried to kiss me again, but I pushed him away." Kurt's entire body shook as he spoke. "He ran off then and ever since he's been making my life a living hell. Afraid I'll out him, I imagine."
Finn shot him a curious look. "Uh, why haven't you?" he asked because it only made sense that he would. "After everything he's done to us, he completely deserves it."
"Because unfortunately I know what it's like to be ostracized and bullied and despite what Karofsky's done, I can't bring myself to do that to him. It's not my place to out him," Kurt replied trying to radiate flippancy, but it sounded to Finn as if the other had thought about it a lot. Nevertheless.
"But—"
"No, Finn," Kurt said, his voice completely resolute, and Finn snapped his mouth shut.
Silence descended once more as Finn tried to process all he was told and attempted to recall anything in the past couple of weeks that would have even hinted that this had happened. Sure, he noticed that Kurt was a little more quiet than usual, but would never have imagined this to be the cause.
"Does your dad know about this?" he asked eventually.
"Are you crazy?" Kurt snapped running a frustrated hand through his hair and Finn knew it was serious because Kurt never intentionally messed up his hair. "I can't tell my dad. He's only just started to recover. I just...I couldn't."
"Okay. Okay, I get that," Finn conceded. "But what about us? We could have had your back, man."
Kurt laughed shaking his head in disbelief. "Finn this isn't anything new. The kiss, yes, but the bullying? It's never stopped since middle school," he said glancing at him pointedly, "and I've survived this long without anyone's help."
Finn winced at Kurt's condemning stare, a wave of shame washing over him because he used to be a part of Kurt's problem. It was different now though and he wanted to believe that he would have done something if he knew what was going on with Kurt and Karofsky.
Unfortunately, Kurt didn't think so and maybe he was right to believe that considering how freaked he got over the other's crush on him. He still felt a sharp sting in his chest whenever he thought about it and the verbal beat down he received from Burt. He knew it was wrong to call Kurt that word, never thought he would ever say it, but. He had been uncomfortable with the attention, which wasn't an excuse, but he probably should have just told Kurt. Yet, what dude told another dude they were making them uncomfortable? And with the whole surprise moving in thing and sharing rooms without anyone talking to him about it first...it was just one ambush after another and Finn just lost it. Said all those things he now regretted and made his mom so disappointed in him.
Finn wanted to do the right thing. Wanted to be like his dad who was brave and stood up for what was right. But it seemed every time Finn wanted to do the right thing, it inevitably turned out that what he thought was right was in fact the complete wrong thing to do, and he honestly wanted to fix that.
"So, you told this Blaine guy?" he asked instead of responding to what Kurt had said.
"Yes," Kurt replied. "Yes, I told Blaine. He—He's gay, too, Finn and went through similar experiences in his old school. He gets it."
Finn nodded. "Well, that's cool. That's—That's awesome actually." At Kurt's confused expression Finn explained. "I'm glad you have someone you can talk to about this since you won't talk to us about it."
To Finn's benefit, he realized how that sounded the moment it came out of his mouth and didn't even need to be prompted by Kurt's darkening expression to say, "No, that's not what I meant. I'm not saying you were wrong for not talking to us. I just. I meant I'm glad you have someone who's like you and who you feel you can talk to since you don't feel like you can talk to us because we wouldn't get it. Not everything anyway, and I know most of the time I say things that get you mad or upset—which I'm really, really sorry about—so, if you have to talk to this Blaine guy, then that's cool. Because you should have someone you can talk to and with my track record, I'm probably not the best person for the job." Finn braked the car to a stop due to the bumper to bumper traffic in front of him and turned to look at the other. "Though if you ever wanted, I'm here too. I can't say I'll understand everything, but I'll try my best to listen."
Kurt stared at Finn for a while and Finn was afraid he said something stupid or offensive again, but then the lines around Kurt's eyes softened and he said sincerely, "Thanks, Finn."
Finn responded with a small, somewhat shy smile in return.
Kurt had then explained how Blaine had come to McKinley to help confront Karofsky about the kiss and relayed the gossip he heard this morning. By the end of it, even Finn could see why Kurt was so worried.
"I know there's a chance that I'm overreacting, Finn, but there are just too many coincidences. It'll drive me crazy if I don't know for sure."
Kurt had left several more messages on Blaine's phone while they drove, timing it so they were left between classes, but he still hadn't received any responses.
So here they were. They definitely knew something had gone down the day before but again were not able to gain any specifics.
"He's not answering," Kurt said lowering his phone from his ear before turning to the guard again. "Could you please make an exception?" he asked. "The incident you're referring to, I think it may have involved one of my friends, and I just want to check to see if he's okay."
The older man shook his head again, his stance relaxing a degree upon seeing how genuinely upset Kurt was getting. "I'm sorry. I'm afraid I can't."
Kurt looked as if he was about to cry and Finn panicked. He couldn't handle tears, like ever, so tried everything in his power to stop it. "Do you at least know if what happened yesterday involved a student from a different school? And if it involved one of your students getting beaten up with a bat?" he asked hurriedly. "That's all we really came here to find out."
"I had the day off yesterday," the guard admitted, rubbing his forehead, "so don't know much of the details. Just that it involved someone who didn't attend this school; however, whether it was a student from another school or just someone in general, I don't know. One of our students did get hurt, but I don't know how." The older man sighed. "I'm truly sorry. I wish I could be of more help."
The guard did look sincerely apologetic that even Kurt couldn't bring himself to be angry at the man.
"Thank you for your time," Kurt said before walking back to his car.
Finn also thanked the man before jogging to Kurt's side. "Hey. So, now what?"
Kurt sighed scrubbing his eyes in frustration. "Now we drive back to Lima."
"What? That's it?"
"Yes, Finn. What else can we do?"
Kurt looked completely downtrodden and Finn didn't like that at all. Kurt was always so put together, head held high no matter what. "This is really getting to you, isn't it," he said.
Kurt barked out a laugh. "Of course it is. How would it make you feel if Rachel was hurt and you couldn't get to her? It's—if anything happened to Blaine it'd be my fault."
"You don't even know if Blaine was involved, man. It might have been someone else—somewhere else," Finn pointed out. "And what do you mean your fault? You didn't do anything."
Exactly, Kurt thought as he leaned back against his car, head bowed and arms held loosely around his chest. He should have listened to Blaine and reported the kiss in the locker room, or at least told his dad. If he did, then they wouldn't be in this situation. He wanted to believe that Blaine was perfectly okay and that he had only jumped to conclusions, but he couldn't because he just didn't know. If only Blaine would answer his phone.
"Kurt?"
Kurt snapped to attention his eyes darting to the new voice and his heart accelerated. "David."
The dark-skinned Warbler slammed his car door shut before making his way over to them. "Hey, man, what brings you here?" David said before extending his hand to Finn. "I don't think we've met. If you hadn't figured it out already though, I'm David."
Finn blinked not used to people his age introducing themselves with a handshake. He snapped out of it pretty quickly though and shook David's hand. "Finn."
"Nice to meet you, Finn. I'm assuming you're from McKinley too?"
"Er—"
"David, is Blaine all right?" Kurt interrupted unable to sit through the pleasantries.
David looked momentarily surprised before his expression seemed to close off. "How do you know about that?"
Kurt wasn't at all prepared to be proven right; regardless that the possibility rang so true it made him drive over eighty miles just to check. He felt as if he was just sucker punched in the gut, and he didn't know what to say for a full minute, dread overwhelming him to the point it rendered him speechless. When he did find his voice to respond to David, the words spilled rapidly out of his mouth. "There was talk this morning at our school," he explained, "about how one of our students attacked a student at a boarding school. It sounded like it involved Blaine, but he wouldn't pick up his cell, so I had to come here to see for myself, but they wouldn't let us in. Is Blaine okay? How bad was he hurt? Is he still at the hospital? C—"
"Whoa, whoa, okay. Breathe, Kurt," David said waving his hands as if he were calming a wild animal. "Blaine's okay, well, the bastard broke his arm, but he's not at the hospital anymore. They actually released him last night, so he's here on campus."
The weight that bore down on Kurt's shoulders lifted fractionally at the news that Blaine was well enough to be released the same day. Yet, he was just as quickly overridden with guilt upon recalling how exactly Blaine got put into this situation in the first place. "David, can you sign us in?" Kurt asked. "This is all my fault; I—I just want to see for myself that Blaine is okay."
"Dude, you did not make Karofsky come here with a bat," Finn insisted, not liking it at all that Kurt was still trying to take some of the blame for what happened. "This is all on Karofsky."
"Finn—"
"Is that his name?" David growled eyeing both McKinley students. "I wasn't there and no one's told us anything and Blaine wasn't..." David paused, realizing what he was about to say and knowing Blaine wouldn't like him revealing things about him to strangers and acquaintances alike, let his words trail away.
"Blaine wasn't...?" Kurt prompted.
David shook his head. "Forget it," he said, voice clipped. "Tell me why you think this is your fault. Then I'll decide if I'm letting you in or not." Because no matter how highly Blaine spoke of Kurt of late, David didn't know Kurt. Had only met him once before and although he didn't seem like the malicious/crazy sort who would have Blaine attacked with a baseball bat, David wasn't going to take any chances. Blaine was one of his best friends. No one messed with his friends.
Fortunately, it didn't take very long for Kurt to explain. David's brain was still swimming with the story of a closeted football player, bullying and sexual harassment as he led them all to the dormitories. It was random chance really that when they were walking across the quad they had spotted both Blaine and Wes by the McGregor Building having a seemingly heated argument. And just like that Kurt took off running, and David and Finn could only do their best to catch up.
oOo
"Kurt," Blaine said with a lot less enthusiasm than he would have under normal circumstances. Kurt hadn't noticed, however, eyes roaming up and down Blaine's body and settling on his cast. A flash of anger and remorse flittered across his eyes and Kurt blurted out the words he'd been planning to say ever since he heard about the attack. "I'm sorry. Are you okay?"
Regardless of how unprepared he felt upon seeing Kurt and knowing the other would have this exact reaction, it still didn't stop him from feeling upset that Kurt would take the blame for this; no matter that he himself had similar thoughts the previous night. After a full night's rest, however, Blaine realized it was no more Kurt's fault than it was Blaine's for trying to reason with Karofsky yesterday and believing the football player would listen to what he had to say. He believed the sooner Kurt realized this too, the sooner they could all put this behind them. And there wasn't anything Blaine wanted more than to pretend that this never happened.
For that reason, he placed his hand over Kurt's to still his wringing hands. Before he could assuage Kurt of his guilt, however, Wes took it upon himself to speak up.
"Why is he apologizing?" Wes asked his tone suspicious. "Did he have something to do with you getting the shit beaten out of you?"
"Stop exaggerating, Wes, and no," Blaine stated firmly, eyes not leaving Kurt's. "He had nothing to do with it and I don't know why he's apologizing for something he didn't do." Kurt looked ready to object, but Blaine just shook his head. "Kurt, it wasn't your fault, and as you can see, I'm fine."
Wes snorted and the skeptical sound had Blaine spinning around so fast you'd thought he'd get whiplash. "What is your deal?" he practically shouted, taking a step towards his roommate.
"You are so far from fine it's not even funny," Wes replied, not intimated at all by his friend's stance and closed the distance between them.
Kurt followed the exchange unable to look away. Not once had he heard Blaine raise his voice in the time they've known each other and it made him wonder if he even knew Blaine all that well. David, on the other hand, was all too familiar with this situation. Wes and Blaine hardly ever fought, but on the rare occasion they did, it was like King Kong versus Godzilla; no one was excluded from the carnage.
David stepped between them pushing them apart, Blaine more carefully than Wes. "Guys, cool it. We have guests," he finished half-jokingly as he jerked his thumb to both Kurt and Finn, the latter of which was trying not to stare too openly at what was unfolding before him considering he had no idea who these people were.
David's slight rebuke seemed to cap the rising tension and both Warblers spared a quick glance to the McKinley students.
"What are you doing out here anyway, Blaine?" David asked, hoping to change the subject. "I thought you'd be sleeping." It didn't take very long for David to notice that this was the completely wrong thing to say, if the triumphant look that Wes now sported and the grimace Blaine displayed was any indication.
David quickly backpedaled. "Uh, not that—"
"See, even David agrees with me and we know he's the least responsible one among us."
"Hey—"
Blaine released a frustrated breath and his glare returned in full force in Wes' direction. "I know my limits, Wes."
"You just think you do," Wes argued. "You can't even remember to eat and you just want to sweep this entire thing under the rug as if it didn't happen. That's real healthy, Blaine," Wes said sarcastically and the shorter teen flinched. "God, next you're going to tell me that you're going to let that guy get away with this."
Blaine didn't immediately deny the accusation, had actually looked pensive for a second and Wes threw his arms up in disbelief. "Oh my God, you are going to let him get away with this! Are you insane?"
"I didn't say that," Blaine hedged not meeting his eyes.
"But you're thinking about it," Kurt said, speaking up for the first time since his initial apology. "You can't, Blaine. Whatever you're thinking, whatever noble intentions you're having, Karofsky's not worth it. He..." Kurt trailed off, looking uneasily at Finn, who tilted his head in a 'what's up' manner.
"He what, Kurt?" Wes asked impatiently when Kurt didn't look like he was going to continue.
Kurt shifted his attention away from Finn to Blaine who was waiting patiently for him to answer, but Kurt could also tell he was nervous to hear what he had to say. Kurt hadn't told Finn about Karofsky threatening him, knowing it would get back to his dad and the resulting blow up that would certainly occur was not something his dad could handle right now.
Blaine deserved to know the truth though especially if he was considering letting Karofsky get away with this. And he couldn't let that happen. What if Karofsky hurt someone else?
"He threatened to kill me yesterday," Kurt said, voice low, but no less urgent. "That if I told anyone about the kiss he would. That's why when I first heard about what he did this morning, I just knew it was you he..." Kurt bit his lip and shook his head. "I'm so sorry, Blaine."
Blaine stared at Kurt uncomprehendingly, felt everything become more muted even as Wes began another tirade about how fucked up this was and if Kurt wasn't here, you (Blaine) would have gone and done something stupid like forgiven this psychopath, and clearly you (Blaine) needed more rest to think straight. Blaine stopped paying attention after that; everything just faded away until he couldn't hear anything but white static.
/Hey, homo let's go for a ride/
/Chill, man. You get to hang with us today. You're going to love this/
/Guys...hey, don't you think this is enough/
/No. Not 'till he learns/
"You can't just go on pretending this didn't happen. Ignoring it won't make it go awa—"
"Shut up."
Blaine's voice cut easily into Wes' rant, the low and bitter tone making everyone freeze. Blaine's body was visibly vibrating from where he stood, memories and feelings he long thought buried surfacing until he could barely see what was in front of him. "Stop telling me what to do. What do you know? You have no idea. No idea at all and you think you can just stand there and tell me how I should feel, what I should think—tell me what's the right way to react?"
Wes retreated back a step, too surprised to find the words to respond.
"You have no fucking clue. You don't—you don't know what they did to me. How scared—" Blaine squeezed his eyes shut, his fist pressing into his forehead as if trying to push the memories back.
"Blaine." Wes took a cautious step towards the other, hand extended, but Blaine retreated just as quickly backing himself into the wall. "Don't touch me," he said voice hoarse, gaze slightly unfocused as he curled his right arm around his left. "I'm f-fine. Just..." He shook his head unable to finish his sentence and instead focused on trying to regain his composure. His body wouldn't stop shuddering though and he wondered why this was happening. He didn't want this. He didn't want to feel this way—didn't want anyone to see.
Wes cringed, glanced at David but the other looked as completely out of his depth as he did. Kurt looked equally shaken at the turn of events.
"Blaine!"
The shout came from behind them and all turned to see an older woman running in heels to their location. She wore a loose fitting green dress and her hair flew behind her like a chocolate wave.
Blaine reacted instinctively to the voice only managing to take two steps towards the woman before she was there, hands on his shoulders before moving to frame his face.
Blaine's shoulders relaxed for the first time since everything had happened and an inexplicable sense of relief and safety settled around him like a warm blanket. "Mom...how did you..."
Mrs. Karen Cartwright pressed a kiss to her son's forehead before absently thumbing the lipstick mark away. "We came as soon as we heard. Are you all right?"
Blaine still looked slightly dazed. "We?"
Karen nodded brow creased in worry. "Your father's right behind me. I didn't want to wait for him to park the car."
"But—"
"Blaine, are you hurt anywhere else?" she asked, glancing down to his left arm and hovering her hand over the sling as if she was afraid to touch it. Her eyes then swept him up and down looking for any other visible injuries.
Blaine shook his head, swallowing thickly, before saying, "It's just my arm. Broken and maybe some bruising on my back, but it's nothing major."
Karen covered her mouth, eyes beginning to water and Blaine felt his own throat begin to close up as he was reminded again of things past, which included his mother crying more times than Blaine wanted to remember.
"Mom, please don't cry. I'm okay. Really," he insisted, but the waver in his voice was palpable and Karen knew he was lying.
"You were supposed to be safe here," she whispered, voice overwrought. "What happened? You were supposed to be safe."
Blaine's face crumpled. "I know. I'm sorry, Mom, I'm sorry. I—"
Tears spilled down Blaine's cheeks and Karen immediately pulled her son to her chest, pressing his forehead to her shoulder and holding him as tight as she possibly could without hurting him. "Don't you dare be sorry, Blaine. It's not your fault; it's never you. If anyone should be sorry, it's those people who hurt you." She rubbed her hand up and down her son's back as his body continued to shudder. Seeing and feeling her son's distress made Karen's entire body ache. "I'm sorry, Blaine. We—We just can't seem to protect you, can we?"
Blaine wordlessly shook his head in denial, and Karen kissed the top of his black curls.
They stood there for a while longer until Blaine broke the silence by asking in a small voice, "Can I come home? I want to go home."
"Of course, darling," she said releasing Blaine only when he pulled back first. "Let's go gather your things from your room."
Blaine nodded, wiping his face as his mother placed her hand atop his right shoulder and steered him towards the dormitories. She stopped after a few steps, glanced over her shoulder to the group of boys that had stood by and witnessed everything. She felt her son tense and began to rub her thumb over his shoulder until he relaxed.
"Wesley?"
Wes stood to attention, squeaking a "Yes, Mrs. Cartwright?"
Karen offered a strained, but sincere smile. "Thank you for staying with Blaine when we couldn't."
"It was no trouble at all, Mrs. Cartwright," was Wes' quick response and his voice rose as he continued to say, "Blaine's my best friend. We've got each other's backs."
Karen had a feeling Wes was speaking more to her son than to herself and her responding smile came a little easier this time. She nodded, eyes traveling to the other three boys, two of which she didn't recognize. "It was nice seeing you again, David, and I'm afraid we haven't met," this she directed to the two boys who weren't wearing Dalton uniforms, "but thank you, all the same, for staying with Blaine."
The taller teen nodded his head a bit wide-eyed, while the other wouldn't meet her eyes and instead looked sadly at the ground. It was odd, but Karen didn't think too deeply about it, her thoughts focused entirely on her son as she led them both to the dorms and closer to home.
Author's Note:
I had a really difficult time writing Finn and Kurt's conversation and actually am not entirely satisfied with it, even now. So, I would love to know what you thought about it (and this chapter in general).