I sigh, staring at my computer screen. Writing is hard…especially when your idea seems to have just left you. GRR… Stupid brain. I smack my forehead, then frown. "Ow!" I exclaim, rubbing where I hit myself.
Suddenly my bedroom door bursts open, revealing Angelus from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I stare at him.
"Is there a problem?" I ask calmly. He looks annoyed with me. Great. That's exactly what I need right now. (Notice the extreme sarcasm.)
You're confused. Don't deny it. Questions like "Why is the season 2 antagonist in her bedroom?" are most likely going through your head. Well, for starters, I don't really know why he's here. He probably doesn't like how I portrayed him in the latest story or something. You see, I write Buffy the Vampire Slayer fanfiction. It's a hobby of mine. But Angelus is…picky. So whenever he doesn't like something, he barges into my house and complains about it.
The first time he showed up was similar to a self insert. I was too busy fawning over his hotness to let him explain anything. In fact, he still hasn't even tried to explain, but I don't bother to question how the hell he got out of the TV show.
Anyways, back to what's going on. Barging. Glares.
"What the hell was that?" he asks, fuming.
"What? Don't like my stories?"My mouth curls into a smirk, making him look angrier. I don't care. He won't hurt me, he's too chicken.
"You gave me a girl voice in the last one!" he exclaims. "Can't you just torment someone else for a change? How about Xander? He deserves it more than me!" He gives me an innocent look. I roll my eyes.
"Yeah, cuz Xander regularly kills Buffy's friends. OH WAIT, HE DOESN'T," I say with as much sarcasm I can possibly use. He goes back to a scowl.
"I really should rip your throat out."
"Oh yeah? Well I really should throw a toaster at you."
"I should… drain you."
"I should kick you in the NERTZ!"
Ten minutes later.
"YOU'RE ALWAYS WEARING THE SAME THING WHEN YOU COME HERE! CHANGE YOUR PANTS!" I shriek.
"THE LEATHER IS COOLER THAN YOU'LL EVER BE, YOU CAN'T DENY IT!"
"OK. I'm done," I say through grit teeth. I grab him by the ear and pull him towards the door. He yelps when I raise my knee threateningly towards his groin. I then slam the door in his face and lock it. I hear him banging his fist against the door, shouting unintelligible words and swears. I ignore him, having the perfect inspiration. Once I start writing, he stops. He's probably on his way into the story. Good… that's perfect…
BtVsBtVsBtVsBtVsBtVsBtVsBtVs
A few days have passed. I finished my wonderful piece, putting it on FFN. I giggled. I had just posted something that would positively enrage him. It wasn't even my style. It was rated M and had one major word in the summary.
SLASH.
I wait for the inevitable moment. Then, right on cue, my door bursts open. Angelus looks angrier than ever. I want to laugh at his face.
"Take. It. Down," he says slowly. I look at him innocently.
"Take what down?"
"You know."
"Actually I don't. Please, enlighten me," I request. I want him to say it.
"The one…the one with…" he begins, a pained expression on his face. "The one with me and Spike." He shivers violently, looking disgusted.
"Ohhhh. You mean the one where you and Spike have sex?" I ask, enjoying the look on his face. I should take a picture.
"Oh God…" he says in disgust.
"That's what you said. HA!" I shout. I login, preparing to delete it. I pause, turning to him. "Angelus?"
He looks up from his pouting. "What?"
"Did you… change your pants?" His pants were an incredibly dark brown leather today instead of their usual black.
"I… uhh…yeah," he muttered sheepishly.
"Ahh, sweet victory," I whisper, clicking delete.