HEY PEOPLES! Im kind of sad that my review status is slowly decaying into nothing. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEOPLE! Its always someone's birthday, so…make it happy! ONWARD!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, even though poking him with a stick would be fun…

RECAP!

"YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!" We said in unison.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~EFFIN AWESOME SEQUEL OF DOOM! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~

CHAPTER 9:

Babies and Obesity

"GAH! THE AKATSUKI ARE AFTER ME LUCKY CHARMS!" I screamed, booking it past Gaara.

"How did they get their powers back though?!"

"I DON'T KNOW! THEY JUST DID!" I said, a herd of Akatsuki members on my tail.

"HOLY SHIT! KONEKO! DID YOU KNOW THE AKATSUKI IS BEHIND YOU!" Mel screamed.

"OH MAH GAWD! REALLY!" I said, completely free of sarcasm. Suddenly, Hidan was in front of me. "Oh shiznap….." I cursed, stopping completely. He smiled wickedly. somehow Gaara, Mel and Lee can do NOTHING about this…

"I got you now, bitch!"

"THE FUCK HIDAN!? WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY, DICK FACE PUSSY MUNCHER DOUCHE-BAG MONKEY!! Don't swear at a fucking master!" I said, hitting him upside the head. He shook it off and threw me over his shoulder. I put my feet and hands up like I was super man. "OH-MAH-GAWD! ITS GOING IN REVERSE! DAMMIT WHERE IS THE SHIFTER!"

! Now we are at the BASE!

Here I sit, in a dark, damp room, bored OUTTA MY MIND! At least they know better than to lock me in a cage…

"IT'S THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS! YES IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS! SOME PEOPLE STARTED SINGING IT NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS! AND THEY'LL CONTINUE SINGING IT FOREVER JUST BECAUSE, IT IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS! IT--" I continued singing for 23 hours at the top of my lungs before Zetsu popped up out of freaking NOWHERE!

"Hello, Koneko."

"Hey Zetsu. Why the hell am I in here?"

"Er, where would you like me to start?"

"The most offensive?"

"You threw the entire Akatsuki down a drainage pipe, you locked them up and forced them into slave labor. You neutered Tobi, and traumatized Deidara. Oh, and Itachi told me to add 10 years to your sentence for braiding his hair."

"Wait wait wait! You said nothing about a sentence! D-does this sentence have adjectives in it?"

"No, this sentence has you in a dark dirty cell until we can find a way to seal off the portal."

"B-but I have to go back!" I started to cry, completely serious now.

"Give me one good reason to let you go back."

"IM PREGNANT!" I screamed in hysterics, grabbing his shoulder. "I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE MY CHILD IN A DARK DIRTY CELL!" I shoved him aside.

"That's a pretty good reason…and that explains why you're so fat." I growled at him.

"Don't make me sick a hedge trimmer on you, plant boy!" I scowled.

"I--I'll see what I can do…" Zetsu vanished.

"Hehehe, hedge trimmers…." I giggled darkly by myself. All I can do now is wait.

A LONG, LONG, LONG TIME LATER!

"How far along are you?"

"7 months, it's a girl!" I said happily.

"You may go back for eighteen more years and two months." Pein said formally. I lunged my fist in the air. "YES!"

"BUT! You have to wear this." Pein held up a leg bracelet. "If you leave the sand village, it will give you a warning shock, any farther than 10ft from the border, it will give you a shock so powerful it will kill your baby and leave you paralyzed. We will then collect you and keep you and your friend here."

"You suck." I pointed out seriously. "You really really suck."

"Itachi, would you please return her to her village." He ordered…asked…ish.

"BLARG! IM RUINING THE MOMENT!!!" I screamed, blacking out for some odd reason.

Home

I shifted uncomfortably on my make-shift pillow, gaining a mouth full of sand.

"PLEARGFLUFF!" I scraped it off my tongue. "Ima in da village!?" I stared around, no one was awake yet. Just then, two big black panda eyes dropped down from a roof top. "GAARA!" I screamed, latching on to his neck.

"Koneko! Are you okay!? Did they hurt you?" He looked me up and down.

"No, but I have some bad news…" I dropped my head, not wanting to stare into the cuddly sad eyes. "I have 18 years and two months before the Akatsuki collect me and Mel. At least they're nice enough to let me see him or her grow up!"

"Hn. Kind my ass! They're taking you away from me!"

"Yes, but they could have held me captive and not let me go! Admit it, they aren't THAT bad. They're just a bunch of softies on the inside."

"I will if we can name the baby Teleri."

"How about Teleri Ayumu? (Your dream)"

"That sounds beautiful. Sabaku No Teleri Ayumu."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*THE END!~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hey! I made it kinda sad didn't I? hur. All well. I'm using weird slang because of a book series I read…books just influence me… So if I use 'happy-making, nervous-making etc. Bubbly or icy' ignore me.

Ko-Chan! (OR IS IT!)