Sorry for the delay. Classes just started this week and most of my professors are tough. Geez, one of them actually failed a whole class last term because the students passed their final project later than the expected deadline ( =_=;) Sooo, guess I'll upload a chapter once every week from now on.

Anyhow, Here's Chapter 8. And thanks for all your reviews especially those who added my story in their alert and faves. Happy reading! ^^,

Chapter 8

Sei

It took me a good 15-minute staring into space before I was able to grasp Youko's words. This thing I'm afraid of is happening. My chest ached, it's almost suffocating. There's a feeling of displeasure at the pit of my stomach which makes me sick.

As it was what she ordered me to do, I kept my attention to the road. I can't look at her face to see if she really meant what she said.

No, this isn't happening. I convinced myself, thinking what just happened, that it was all just an unpleasant dream, a nightmare. But this pain in my chest kept stabbing me, keeping me awake and reminding me that this is all real. Why is this god-awful thing happening when I was just about to confess to her? My phone rang and my thoughts were interrupted.

I put myself together and answered the caller, "Hello?"

"Sei-chan, this is Youko's mother." Oh great. Perfect timing,just as I was thinking about her daughter. How could life be so cruel?

"Good afternoon, Nadeshiko-Oba-sama."

"Good afternoon too. I called regarding Youko's birthday. We decided that she'll be celebrating it in our villa in Osaka. Are you free on March 23 to 25? Her father and I can't make it, so I'm inviting you guys to come."

"Thank you for inviting me, Oba-sama. I'll be there."

"Thank you. One more thing, don't worry about the expenses, we've got it all covered. And don't forget to bring a swimsuit. I'm quite in a hurry so, goodbye then."

"Thanks again, Oba-sama. Goodbye. "

That's right, her birthday's on March 24th. I don't know what to do by then, so I started my engine and drive my way to someone who can help me with my problem, the only one who knows about my hidden feelings for Youko. I flipped open my phone to make a call.

"Hello, Eriko. I'm on my way to your house right now. I need someone to talk to. Will it be alright?" I asked as my voice cracked.

"Thank you."

Ever since I was a kid, I've been through many sufferings, mostly about being abandoned. People come and go, that's how life works for me. Funny how I should be immune to pain by now. But the pain harshly keeps going, which only indicates that I'm also human, a human who wants to break free from these towering walls of melancholy.

I rang the doorbell many times like a mad woman. I can't hold it anymore, I'm about to breakdown. My feet are as supple as jelly, I can't feel them. My breathing is unstable and my heart feels like it's going to burst, I can't breathe. I'm so wrecked right now and the person who can only mend me is not by my side.

"Sei, what happened to you? You look worse than a lost puppy" Eriko cried as she rushed to help me stand up and bring me inside her house.

She carefully sat me down on the couch. "Wait here, I'll get you water." Were the last words she said before going to the kitchen as I was left on the living room, crying my eyes out.

"Here, drink this." She handed me a glass of water and I drank it like I never tasted water before. I almost drowned when I sniffled. Eriko quickly took away the glass from me and stroked my back trying to ease me.

"She d-doesn't want…m-me any…more." I sobbed like a child who lost her favorite toy.

"Don't say that." She muttered while hugging me.

"You…ko…" I mentioned her name while crying.

"Do you want me to call her?" she asked, I shook my head while sniveling. "Shh…you should calm down first. Let's talk when you feel much better, okay?" I nodded and she handed me a tissue.

"Is your…family at...home?" I asked. My speech is much better than a while ago.

"Don't worry. They went out this morning." She assured me with a warm smile. "Are you hungry?"

"…No." I replied.

I closed my eyes for a few minutes as I remembered the time when I had breakfast with Youko just this morning. It saddened me thinking about it. I'm such a big coward, running away like this. Why can't I go back to see her? But I'm still thankful that I have Eriko right now. I tried to clear my head for now and steady my breathing for a minute.

"I feel much better now. Thanks, Eriko."

She shook her head then placed her hand on mine. "It's okay. Do you want to talk about it now?"

I nodded. "I tried to be courteous with my actions and I was about to confess to her. But then, she stopped me from doing so." I decided to open up to her. "She just pushed me away and said that she'll keep away from me so that I can find someone to do those things with."

"Is that the only reason she gave you?"

"She said that if I continue being nice to her, we'll only hurt each other's feelings. Then after that we stopped talking."

"Why do you think she said that you'll both get hurt when you're being gentle to her? Did you do something to make her say that?"

"I don't think so. But she thinks that I'm only doing it to repay her kindness."

She kept silent for a moment, thinking. She sighed then said, "Now, it's clear." She nods while smiling which confuses me.

"No it's not! What's clear about it, Eriko?" I stormed.

"Sei," she held me on the shoulders "think deeper. Do you think you'll be happy if someone does nice things to you just to repay you with your kindness without being sincere?"

"No. But I really mean it, Eriko. I love her!" This conversation only makes me confused and angry.

"Why? Does she know that you have feelings for her? Before you realized that you love her, did you ever show your appreciation to everything she does to make you happy and unharmed? Or even a small thank you for that? Tell me how you treat her when you're still with Shiori-san. And after that, what? Yes, you've changed from a sulky emotional girl to a happy-go-lucky teenager who flirts with any girl she wants. You shower affection to everyone, but did it do well to Youko? Well guess what Sei, it didn't."

Eriko's words stab me in the chest like dagger. All her accusations were true, and I'm too insensitive to tell that I'm making her upset with my actions. Yes, I pushed her away yet she still stayed by my side and unconditionally cared for me even if I'm hurting her. Yes, I flirted with any other girls but forgot to show her some gratitude. My head's aching just by thinking about these. Youko's words kept repeating over and over on my mind like a broken record.

"We'll just end up hurting each other if you do that."

"…it's an unrequited love, really."

"…I have a strong feeling that she doesn't want me by her side."

"I promise I'll stay out of your way so that you can find someone to do these things with."

My eyes widen as I matched the words she uttered with what I'm thinking. How can I be so dumb noticing it just now? Without Eriko's help, I can't put up the pieces to the puzzle. Stupid Sei!

I need to go back. I need to talk to her this instant. I need to tell her how I truly feel. Impulsively, I ran towards the door.

"Sei! Where are you going?" Eriko shouted and followed me outside.

"Thanks for your help, Eriko!" I shouted back as I turned on the car's engine.

I'm not gonna lose someone dear to me again, not right now that I know she also feels the same way about me. It's not over yet, and it never will be.

Note: March 24th is NOT really Youko's birthday. I just made that up 'cause I don't know her birthday. Does anybody knows? Anyone?