Daddy you see how fake I am sometimes. Some people ask me am I am ok with you being gone? I tell them I am and I am doing fine. If they could see behind my eyes and see the pain, and behind that fake smile and see I am crying inside what would they think? Daddy you can see the tears that I cry and the pain that I feel. I wish I could let the people that lives around me in and for them to help me, but I can't. Daddy only you can see that when I smile you can tell if it is that fake one or the real one. Somedays I smile because I mean it but most of the time it is fake. I thought that when you died that the pain would only be with me for 2 to 3 days, I never thought it would last this long and even longer. It still hurts daddy. And why does susan want to start stuff about you everyday. She knows how much I mss you and she still wants to talk trash about you. Does she not get it that I miss you and I always waited for the day that you would walked me down the aisle and dance that father daughter dance. I never had the chance to dance with you, she doesn't get that. All she wants to being up that you smoked yourself to death, that wasn't the reason. Daddy I am glad that I have all these people on the internet that care about me. I open my heart up and spill it over them, they listen daddy and they never leave me. They are family daddy. I love them so much. They cheer me up daddy and they know how I am when I miss you. Daddy I am going to go now and I will be back talking to you later. I Love You Daddy and I Miss You.