Disclaimer: I do not own Treasure Planet
In the Foreseeable Future
For Arianna Mitoko
When Cassandra awoke the recollections of the past few hours passed from mere flashes of split seconds in the mind to clear reflections and even clear recollections of sensations she had been experiencing. She could see a flash of hair whipping through the air. She could then remember a hand brushing against the smooth, muscled flesh of a Space Captains arm. Lips pressed against the neck, burring into her arms. A green dress sliding down a willowy figure. The immersion of brown strands with black locks. Arms, legs and limbs entwined together like two trees encircling one another but still barely touching, like a cluster of stars merging together.
She didn't allow herself to become too intimate with him. She allowed him to be a part of her and vice versa, she allowed him a glimpse into her soul but she wouldn't let him enter it. She didn't see any objections to it but she couldn't allow him to take that from her. Not yet anyway. She was going to give herself that much respect. If she was going to allow herself to have this, to have something which can be selfish as it was generous she was going to at least stop herself from doing something stupid like throwing something like that away flippantly. She knew she loved him now more than ever but she...
She couldn't bring herself to do that. Just the thought of it intoxicated her but the idea of it also frightened her. She was never used to being frightened. She was always used to jumping not taking tentative steps forward. It wasn't because they weren't married but because she was afraid. She was afraid of giving too much of herself to him too quickly. She had heard the horror stories of young women of her station doing so and having their families hastily arranging a marriage or if not having to find their own way in the world but always being looked down upon. She wasn't afraid of that but she still wanted her freedom if not for a little bit longer...
She wanted this to be something which would last. It sounded like a fairy tale concept but when she thought of the journey she and James made together from the point of when they first met to now it seemed the impossible or improbable became such a surreal distortion of reality and she was afraid of letting that slip through her fingers but her doing something stupid. She didn't want him to see her as something cheap and someone who would give away something so precious so impulsively. Most importantly, she didn't want to think of herself as someone like that either.
Most thought that love could only last for a moment or only a lifetime. She was once one of those people who thought that way about love but then it took her till now that she could have something she remembered her parents having. It was something that they displayed every day in the shortest of moments, in the tiniest of ways. They gave so little when the other knew that they meant so much by it and she wanted that but she knew the only way she was going to be able to have that was to not give too much too soon. Otherwise all of that will be gone too quickly and there would be nothing left.
As for eternity her parents were now sharing that together. They began their eternity together long ago, unfortunately it required for her father to leave them. She could remember the sensation of having not only another body but another soul connecting with your own in ways you could never imaged possible. The last time she actually felt that way was when she was a child and on some nights she would wonder out into the gardens rest under the shelter of the trees and stare up at the stars. She would feel as if there was some sort of unity not just between her but with everyone in the universe. With every particle, it was part of her.
She could remember kissing James again more passionately than the first or even the second. She soon began to lose count of how many times she had kissed him. The number of times she whispered the almost insignificantly short but informative three letter sentence in the history of language. It was amazing who simplistic in comparison to the vastness of its meaning. All she could think about was how tightly they held onto one another. The intensity of the heat upon his breath passing into hers. She no longer was able to remember who she was because it was just her and James and then just James and her. They became so immersed within one another that...
After that, the concept of who she was didn't seem to matter anymore. All those things about individuality which had been asserted for centuries went out the window for what would seem like a small amount of time compared to the amount of time it had been lectured for. But even those few hours could be considered more significant in her life than all those centuries of discussion. She had been striving for her sense of self for so long that it didn't seem to matter anymore, all that drive for her to find who she was, what she was supposed to do with her life, who she was going to be...
It was all gone in an instant.
All those questions, all those anxieties disappeared. She didn't have to worry about any of those things. Not for now anyway. She knew in a few days time, or even in a few weeks she would be worrying about them as much as she had been before for the past few months. But there was going to be something different next time round. She was going to know that she wasn't going to be alone. Even though they might have some troubles along the way because of their relationship she at least knew now that it was okay to have someone hold your hand through these trials and tribulations. She had someone to be there for her as she had been there for so many others when they needed her.
She felt Jim snake an arm around her waist and draw her closer to him. She continued staring through the small crack in the curtain wondering if when she would leave this room she would be able to continue this. Or whether all they had could be contained in this room and then could only continue living their lives as they had done. Whether this could be something which would be able to survive out in the real world. Something like this was so delicate and the world was so raw, so harsh. She was just so afraid that this would break.
Jim kissed her neck. "Are you awake?"
She smiled to herself. "You're making it a little difficult to fall asleep."
He chuckled. "Sorry. You know us men..."
Cassandra looked over at him with a serious expression on her face but there was still a ghost of a smile on her face which she simply couldn't resist. He could be adorable but unfortunately when he was adorable at the same time he was also annoyingly pathetic and he knew it. Men did it because they think its charming when it simply isn't. Sometimes she wondered why women gave men the time of day and it was comments like these which caused that thought to run through her mind. She decided that if was going to behave like a pathetic, over-grown child she would treat him like one.
She reached over her shoulder and brushed her fingers through his hair. "Awww, you poor man. At the mercy of your biological impulses and my natural attraction."
He frowned. "Is it just me or did that sound a little condescending?" He demanded tickling her. She threw back her head and laughed.
She loved the fact that it had worked. That he had taken the bait and that she had caught him. It was like a dance, being in love or relationship or whatever it was that people called it when they were with another person. You had to keep them on their toes, to keep everything interesting otherwise men would go to women like Selina's mother. She felt ashamed to be thinking something like that but...That was how it was.
"No." She protested.
He leaned in so close they were touching noses. "Really? Because it really did sound condescending."
"Are you sure you're using that word in the right context?" She teased.
He nodded with a smirk on his face. "I'm pretty sure."
She giggled and raised out to touch his face. His skin tingled against her soft, gentle touch and smiled down affectionately in response. She was only dressed in her petticoat which with being snow white and its frills made her seem almost child-like. He could tell she was nervous. She had never been with a man before. Not because she was, like Diana Firestone, a shy girl but because unlike Selina Gondola not a flirtatious, promiscuous woman. Not that he had ever judged women on that account but it allowed him to have a level of respect for her.
"Did you ever think that it would come to this?" He murmured.
She smiled and looked away. "I...I never really-" She paused. "No. I did think about it." She chuckled. "Of course I thought about it. I always thought about I just didn't want to. I wanted...I wanted my life to go in a certain order."
"Leave the Finishing school. Graduate from the Academy. Have a career. Then perhaps love." He answered. He glanced at her for a moment. "Then have children if you wanted."
She laughed and nodded. "Yes. Although I don't exactly share the same views upon...The rules of relationships with neither Selina nor Diana. If it were on a scale between traditional and radical-"
She didn't know what she was trying to prove, that she knew more about relationships than she actually did or that she hadn't been completely and utterly enthralled by this new, little development that her logic, views and sense of self hadn't been completely cut off by all this. She didn't understand and in fact he probably wouldn't be able to understand why she was still trying to assert this. Both of them knew who she was and he was never going to take that from her.
"Selina would be on one end and Diana the other." Jim commented.
She smirked and nodded. "And I would be...Somewhere in the middle."
He tilted his head. "I suppose that's something I've always liked about you."
She mimicked him and smiled. "What do you mean?"
She was always used to men complimenting her at balls she had to attend or dinners her brother arranged in hope of her finding a husband and then again Jim also complimented her a lot it just took her a while to see the actual reasoning behind it and it not simply being because he wanted to tease her as a brother would tease his younger sister. Well they certainly weren't behaving as if they were siblings anyway...
He shrugged his shoulders. "You just accept people for what they are. You don't judge them for the way they wish to live their life. For what they are. You're...free from that sort of them. Although I was beginning to think that you were kind falling by the wayside recently."
She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I've- After what's happened for the past few weeks, days even I don't know what it is I'm supposed to do or what I'm supposed to be-"
"But you know that, Cassandra it's just that your plan isn't following the pattern you wanted it to. Life isn't like that. Things don't go according to plan, some people don't even get to fulfil their dreams but...I know one day you're going to be happy."
She smiled faintly and blinked up at him. "How do you know?"
He was silent for so long she thought he would never answer her. She beginning to wonder whether he had any clue of who he was and what he was going to do after all of this was over. She wasn't sure now where her life was going to go after this. James' situation was a little different to hers considering he was already where she wanted to be in the foreseeable future. However she was sure that a few things in his life or what he had planned had changed now because of her. Not that he came across as the the sort of person who ever really had a plan...
"Well you're so self willed you could probably successfully threaten the head of the Academy and get away with it."
She laughed. "Don't worry I'm planning to apply and graduate under legitimate circumstances."
"Good."
She giggled to herself and stared up at the ceiling. She never thought she would be able to love someone so intensely and with such loyalty after the death of her mother or after the dis-ownership of Helen. The last time they saw one another they practically said their goodbyes, she just hoped that she would be able to have the chance to take that back. She knew that Helen would be able to forgive her but the problem was whether she was going to be able to forgive herself. It would be easy to get Helen to forgive her which made the guilt sting even more. She could forgive anybody to the point of someone being able to manipulate her.
Jim saw the troubled expression on her face and tickled her neck. "What is it?"
She shook her head and buried her face in the pillow. "Its nothing." She glanced up and saw the look on his face and gave him. "It's Helen."
He raised his eyebrows. "Ah...Yeah I know the last time you saw her didn't go...Too well."
"I practically threw her out the door." She replied.
He touched her hand and gripped it tightly. "Everything will be alright again. You'll see."
She sighed. "I hope so."
A/N: I'm baaaaaaaaack. Hehe, sorry for the long wait the exams are finally over! Yay! Anyway I thought I might treat you all to some good old romantic fluff from OCs which we all hate to admit that we love so much.
Anyway other announcements urrr...I have a new poll up for Selina as in who would be appropriate to voice her and I am planning to put one up for Helen (since I shocking remembered that I had forgotten to even consider doing one for her) and I might do one for George and Cassandra's father Xaiver since he is a reasonably significant character in the early chapters of this story and hopefully I will be able to have some results or complete all those polls by the end of this story.
So guys please, please, please vote and quickly too it won't take long and its just on my profile too. Um, I suppose I will tell you that this story is actually less than ten chapters away from completion and before you start bombarding me with demands to not finish the story so soon the reason is because there is going to be a sequel and it was intended that way also so this isn't the end of Cassandra and Jim just the end of this part of it.
Anyway, hopefully I will update soon and see you guys later! R & R!