Chapter 8

Shopping School.

Saturday rolled around quickly. The time passed in a blur of fashion shoes, reading Shakespeare with Bella and playing chess with Jasper. I had a shopping war to win today and a car to buy tomorrow. Either way, I was in for a rough couple of days. I had been informed by Alice to be ready for seven thirty on Saturday morning. After refusing to allow Alice to dress me for the occasion, I was rebelling against the Little Fashion Nazi by embracing my 20yr old, metal loving side. Red hooded zipper, black tank top, baggy jeans and my new purple and black skate shoes (a la Alice). I looked like a typical teenager. Not bad for a multiple time Centenarian. One final look in the mirror and I was heading downstairs.

Alice was already waiting. She had been ready a while and had been bouncing up and down like a total lunatic since she appeared three hours ago. Esme and Carlisle had apparently given up trying to calm her down and opted for sitting quietly in the corner just gazing into each others eyes. They broke apart when they heard me come down the stairs and Esme's eyes zeroed in on the pendant that I was wearing and hadn't taken off since I got it. The cullen crest was staying on me for as long as I was living. I would die before I took this off. Esme's whole face beamed with joy at the sight and her hand flew to her chest and she held it over her heart.

"You ready to go, Kals?" Alice chimed exitedly. Honestly, if you could bottle her enthusiasm...

"It's only seven thirty, Alice." I said, trying to reason with her.

"Early start means more shopping."

"The mall in Port Angeles doesn't open for another two hours."

"We aren't going to Port Angeles. It's not big enough. Olypmia is a much better hunting range for us."

"Oh." was the only response I had for that little proclamation. I hadn't really considered the hinderances that a small city would place upon our impending war. After thnking about it, a bigger 'hunting range' seems very appropriate. That said, Seattle was probably better, but a complete no-go for now.

"Alice, what car are we taking today?" If today went like I thought it would, we would need a removals van.

"I spoke to Carlisle, begged him actually. He is letting us take his car, He will be taking the volvo and Edward will be driving Bella's truck."

"Oh, the poor bugger." I said in between giggles. I had obviously seen Bella's car by now. The old, red, rust-bucket of a Chevy truck was an abomination. By my calculations, it should have died a long time again ago and nothing short of the Hand of God Himself was keeping it alive. I half wanted to put it out of it's misery and buy her a nice little hatchback, a Corsa or a Focus or something, but Alice informed me that Bella would find a way to kill me if I did.

"Esme, please tell Edward he can borrow one of my cars today. Anyone he likes." She nodded and turned back to Carlisle with big doe-eyes. I envied that closeness. It was like they were communicating silently with each other. I didn't even have that with Euan. It made me more than a little lonely. I sighed, shaking off the feeling and and turned back to Alice.

"We should get moving."

"Brilliant. Carlisle, the keys?" Alice help out her tiny hand, waiting for daddy dearest to plop the keys into her hand. Once he had done so, I started to sway towards Alice, keeping my plans unfocused. I was about three feet from her when I decided to slap her hand upwards and run off with the keys. I did this, knowing she wouldn't have enough time to have a vision and stop me.

"I'm driving!" I squealed as I bolted for the door and streaked to the Mercedes. I was in the drivers side, buckled in and the engine running by the time Alice got to the car. Her tiny behind was in the car all of half a second before I gunned it down the driveway.

"The yellow one." I suggested as Alice held up two dresses. The yellow one will match your eyes.

"Hmm, this will require a new pair of shoes. I don't believe I have a pair to go with it." Alice mused, holding the yellow dress against her body again.

"Are you telling me you don't want to go shoe shopping Ms. Cullen?" I asked, mock horror twisting my face.

"Of course not. I just think I will need to order them online." She mused. "Jimmy Choo have a fabulous snakeskin stilleto in yellow that would be perfect." Her eyes fogged and I focused. Images of Alice sitting in front of a PC, hammering out an email to Mr. Choo himself rumbled through my brain. I squeezed my eyes closed, waiting for the images to go away.

"Alice, what the hell? Why are you going to e-mail Jimmy Choo?" She said nothing. She just looked at the yellow dress and shrugged. "Oh, the shoes." I said, smirking at her.

"Next shop?" She suggested.

"Bring it!"

It was after seven o'clock now. Six trips back to the car and it was officially groaning under the weight. The credit cards were screaming again and the mall was closing. Surprisingly, I didn't want to call it a day. I was, dare I say it, enjoying myself. Spending time with Alice, despite her disparaging remarks regarding my outfit, was brilliant. It made me feel young again. Not like the six hundred year old I actually was. After Alice declared a stalemate, we squeezed ourselves back into the overstuffed Mercedes and headed for home. We were about ten miles out when I was quickly told by Alice to mask my thoughts. The family had been placing wagers on the outcome of the shopping trip and she didn't want anyone to have the heads up. I started going through the times table backwards, starting at a hundred times a hundred and working back the way. By the time we got into the house, I was on thirty-seven times forty-six.

"The answer is 1702." Edward called. I burst out laughing and proceded to start recounting every song in the AC/DC back catalogue instead. He rolled his eyes and gave up after I got to "Back in Business" fron the Fly On The Wall album.

"Right, spit it out. Who won?" Emmett demanded, hands fisted in his pockets. Alice and I looked at each other, nodded and at the same time declared "Draw."

Emmett's face fell, Bella's mouth dropped, Jasper just smiled and Esme and Carlisle looked ever the indulgent parents. Edward just looked around at everyone's faces and started laughing.

"Are you really trying to tell me that Alice didn't beat you?" Emmett asked, still baffled.

"I said it was a draw, didn't I?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yep." I let my lips pop on the 'p', emphasising it.

"Well, damn it." Emmett said, turning to his wife dejected and handed her a medium sized roll of money. She pocketed it quickly and headed upstairs.

"You, you and you." Alice said, glaring at her brothers. "The car needs to be unpacked and seeing as you are all perfect gentlemen, you can take our bags upstairs to the study for us." She said it in the sweetest voice she could have possibly owned and as much as she made it sound like a request, I knew for a fact that she had them by the short and curlies when the snapped to attention and filed out of the room and into the garage. I knew they only just reached the car when I heard a very muffled "Fucking hell!" escaped from Emmetts lips.

The evening passed in a flurry of outfit changes, catwalks and wolf whistles. This was apparently 'girl time' and I was loving it. Bella didn't seem to into the whole 'dress me like a doll' thing, but I put up with it just to spend time with my new sisters. Bella had to leave just before ten though, in keeping with curfew, so I spent a couple of hours playing chess with Jasper before he and Alice retired to their room for the night. Emmett was watching a late night sports programme, Carlisle and Esme were out of sight and Edward had gone to Bella's house. I knew Rosalie was going outside to the garage to check the Mercedes for suspension damage after mine and Alice's little outing today so I figured now would be as good a time as any to talk to her about our own little retail trip.

"Rosalie?" I called to her as I entered. Her perfect legs were sticking out from underneath the S55 . I sat on the hood of my BMW and waited.

"What can I do for you, Kali?" Her tone suggested she would rather eat a three course human meal than help me with anything.

"Just wanted to see if you were still up for the car hunt tomorrow? Alice said the weather will allow for it."

"What kind of car are you looking for?"

"Cars." I corrected. "I need one for school, nothing too flashy, you know? And I have an itching for something a bit sportier too." I barely concealed the excitement in my own voice when Rosalie slid out from under the mercedes with the biggest smile on her face.

"What do you have in mind?" she asked, finally interested.

"What would you suggest?"

"Tell you what, we will go to your house, figure out what you have and what you need and go from there."

"Sounds like a plan to me. Early start tomorrow then?"

"Whatever." This chick was bi-polar or something. Just as quickly as the interest appeared, it was gone and replaced with Rosalies usual distain-tipped indifference. She slid back under the Mercedes and continued as if I was never even there. Suited my just fine. Rosalie was difficult to talk to about anything other than cars. Maybe the shopping trip would soften her up a little. I would have to get her a gift to say thank you for helping me. I had already decided to rope Alice in and ask her for her advice. Knowing her, she was already formulating ideas.

"Kali, you HAVE to let me help you!"

"Piss off, Alice!"

"Kali Douglas Cullen!"

"Sorry, Esme."

"Alice, leave her alone."

"But, Esme, she needs my help!"

"I don't need your bloody help! Let me get dressed, will you?" There had been several arguements like this over the past twenty four hours. All of which had lead to raised voices, inappropriate language and scoldings from Emse. All because I refused, point blank, to be dressed like a doll for my first day at high school. I was having a rough time controlling my tension without having to endure that torture.

"Alice, just let me get dressed, by myself, this week. You can correct my mistakes next week if you like." I suggested. She looked at me through narrowed eyes, clearly doubting my ability to create outfits. Her eyes rolled in her little head.

"Fine." She huffed. "But be warned, I will go shopping to rectify those mistakes."

"Honestly, I don't care. Buy a whole bloody shop if you want!"

"Don't tempt me, Douglas!"

"Like I could stop you anyway, Cullen." I teased, nudging her with my elbow.

"Right, Edward is going to pick up Bella in the Volvo in 13 minutes. I will be riding with you today." She informed me, her eyes unfocused.

"Guess I get to try out my new car then?" I mused. My trip out to Seattle with Rosalie had been a success on the car front. My everyday car was out front. Rosalie managed to convince me (Without much provocation) that trying to pick between two sports cars was pointless. The Mazda MX5 was waiting for me outside and the new Ferrari and Audi would be here in the next two weeks. Happy Kali was out and about today! So much so that Jasper had been following me, unconciously all morning.

"Jazz, seriously, stalking is weird." I said, playfully punching him on the shoulder.

"You are happy. Insanely happy. It feels good to be next to you." He explained.

"Aww, glad I could be the warm fuzzies for you Jasper."

"Kali, when your new cars get here..." I didn't need to be a mindreader to know where this was going. "Yes, Jasper. You can drive them. I'll take you to Seattle and you can pick one." I felt the excitement rolling off of him. At that moment, Edward barrelled through the front door to get changed for school. I looked at him questioningly.

"Just ask it, Kali." He said as he came back down the stairs.

"Ed, did you ever consider just taking clothes with you to Bella's house?"

"If I did that, you would never see me." His crooked half-smile on display as he teased me. "I need to get back to Bella or we will all be late."

"Ah, the old 'Ball and Chain.'" I interrupted. His smile grew as he pulled me into a hug.

"I'll tell her you called her that." He whispered threateningly in my ear.

"Yeah? And?" I pushed away from him, trying to surpress laughter.

"You won't be so smart when she kills you." He was trying to be serious. That was it. I just about exploded with laughter.

"You are all going to be late for school if you don't move it." Esme called from the kitchen.

"Yes mom." We all chorused, causing another round of giggles.

"Okay, okay. We are going now." Edward promised, answering his mother's mental question. He turned towards the garage and I heard the Volvo start. I walked into the kitchen to retrieve my car keys and Esme smiled widely.

"Have a good first day, dear." she offered, kissing me on the cheek.

"Thanks, Esme. I'll see you later." I said, about turning and heading for the front door. Alice was already by the car and waiting.

"Kali, just out of curiosity, how many times have you been through high school?" she asked as she slid gracefully into the passenger seat.

"British of American?"

"Both"

"Um... twice. this will be my third."

"Really?" Alice looked surprised.

"I preferred university." I explained, peeling down the driveway and towards my first day of scholastic achievement as a Cullen.

I pulled into Forks High School car park and stopped next to the Volvo. We were only seconds behind Edward and Bella by the time he had picked her up. Her dislike of speed put us at an advantage when it came to catching them up. We got out of our respective cars and met up round the back of them. Edwards mouth was mashed into that familiar 'I swear I won't laugh' line that bugged me so much.

"What the hell are you laughing at?" I demanded, trying to keep the edge out of my voice.

"Teenage boys." He replied simply. I groaned out loud. Urgh, I forgot about this. Hormones, lots and lots of testosterone and one very attractive Vampire. "Just tell me which ones so I can avoid them."

"Let's see... Mike Newton, Tyler Crowley, Eric... actually... most of the boys here." He said, like it was no big thing. I felt like smacking him one right in the smiling mouth. Bella giggled, placing a hand on my arm.

"It's okay, all the new girls get the same treatment." She assured me. I was put at ease for a second by her attempts to comfort me. That was, at least until I clocked Edward's face again and gritted my teeth. This was going to be a pain in the arse!

"Bloody boys!" I grumbled. "I need to go to the office to collect my schedule and stuff."

"I'll go!" Alice declared, linking arms with me and walking towards one of the small buildings that made up campus. I turned to say goodbye to Bella and Edward who were now kissing.

"It is way to early in the morning for that shit! Wait till her breakfast has settled before you try removing it with your tongue." Bella's face blazed bright red and Edward rolled his eyes. I stuck my own tongue out at him as Alice pulled me in the opposite direction.

"She is spending way too much time with Alice." Edward complained to Bella. I was furious! I thought of his gifts and nothing else. I pulled his ability forward and used it.

"Edward!" I thought loudly.

"What's wrong?" he replied in the same fashion.

"I didn't appreciate that. I like Alice. She helps me adjust."

"I know. If I could be there more, I would." Even his mental tone was slightly glum.

"How about a hunting trip then? Just you and me?" I suggested. I had spent a lot of time with everyone in the family, even Bella. But I hadn't spent a lot of time with Edward, mainly because he spent every second he had either with Bella or missing Bella.

"I think that might be a good idea, Kali." He thought. "I will talk to Bella."

"Alice will watch her and we will take mobile phones." I thought. We were a good hundred feet apart now and I was having to properly focus on his mind. Alice had taken to leading me through the school to get to where I needed to be.

"I'll talk to her." Edward replied. Alice tapped my shoulder to gain my attention.

"Shit, I'm losing it. Gotta go Edward." I thought, before something slipped and I was back to having just me inside my head. Alice was looking at me, clearly confused. I decided to tell her later and waited for her eyes to gloss over and her to nod her head. When she had saw my intentions, she lead the way into the office and up to the desk.

"Miss Cope, this is my cousin, Kali Cullen. She is supposed to be starting school today?" Alice said, clearly dazzling the poor woma with her perfect smile.

"Oh, yes. Hold on one second dear." Said the plump old lady behind the desk. She went to retrieve some papers for me to sign, which included a map of the campus. "Now if you get lost or need help, dear, just ask." she suggested. I scanned my schedule. Ha, all my classes were with Edward, Alice or Bella.

"I think I should be okay, Miss." I said, trying to pretend I was seventeen again."It looks like most of my classes are with my cousins, so they will help me. She nodded once, handing me some slips to sign and reminded me to hand them back at the end of the day. I thanked her for her help and set off to find my first class.

Spanish with Mrs. Goff and Edward. My spanish was perfect so I wasn't going to learn anything new in this class. I could feel the first pangs of boredom settle in my brain as I walked to class.

"Good morning, Can I help you?" Mrs. Goff said as I knocked the door. She was a thirty-something year old woman who dressed like she was twenty. It was hilarious and also, just a little bit sad. Her bleach blonde hair was tied away from her face in a desperate attempt at the 'sexy professional' look. It was tragic.

"Mrs. Goff? My name is Kali Cullen." I noted that every head in the room snapped to face me when I said my name. All except one remarkably messy bronze-haired one. I also saw that the seat next to him was empty. At least I would be able to sit somewhere I would be comfortable. "I'm supposed to start in this class today."

"Oh yes, of course." She handed me a book and pointed to my new seat. "you can sit next to Edward and he will catch you up." Edward's face bore the hilarity that he had carefully reined in.

"Gracias, Señora." I stated and moved towards the back of the class. The fact that I could speak perfect, fluent spanish had not stopped her throwing several questions in my direction to test my abilities. Edward found this to be ridiculously amusing.

"I'm glad I amuse you, Edward." I thought.

"Sorry, I'll stop." He responded silently.

"No, you won't." I realised it was a lost cause and focused again on Edward's gift to see what all the fuss was about. My brain felt like a truck had run over it. The impact of the twenty-odd peoples thoughts in here was almost painfully. I sifted through the boring stuff, homework, acne, detention, parents to get to what it was that set Edward on the made laughing fit he was desperately trying to get under control. It took me about thirty seconds to find it. human males, Teenage human males to be exact, are a bubbling cauldron of hormones at the best of times. In the presence of vampires, female ones in particular, this was more than evident. You could practically smell the need off of them. It didn't really surprise me that their minds would be well and truly in the gutter. What shocked me was how ofter my face popped up in the fantasies of the human males around me. Visions of my face, lips, legs, back stomach, behind, breasts... oh good lord!

I flung thoughts of Edward's gifts to the back of my mind and locked them there. I did NOT need to see myself like that. I cringed internally, knowing that it got a lot worse than what I had just seen. I turned to Edward and he had the poker face on. His eyes held the humour he wouldn't dare let onto his face. He turned to look at me and he lost it completely. He was able to disguise his laughter as a coughing fit before he attracted attention. I promptly stomped on his foot. Hard.

"One word." I thought venomously "One fucking word, and I will turn you into a bloody jigsaw. You hear me?" He nodded once and turned to look forward. After another twenty minutes, class was over. I stood up, gathered my things and checked my schedule again. I really didn't have to, but it was the human thing to do. Oh no! Gym class. Why didn't Alice warn me?

"Alice put your gym kit into your locker for you." Edward whispered as he passed me to go to him next class. I thanked him and Alice silently and headed out to my next class. I retrieved the kit and headed out to class slightly confused. Alice had places a pair of gloves in my locker with a little note that said simply "Wear the Gloves to lunch." Who was I to argue?

The whole morning continued like this. The high point had to be gym with Bella. She was, without a doubt, the most unco-ordinated human I had ever had the priviledge of watching. I was still trying to work out how she managed to beat people up unintentionally with a badminton racket when I walked into the cafeteria for lunch. Lunchtime in itself was interesting. I had been somewhat prepared for the 'new girl' effect. I remembered it from the last time I went to university about eighty years ago in England. This however was different. This was high school boys and girls, the epitome of hormonal chaos. If I was ever going to attract attention to myself, this was it.

I scanned the room, looking for either a Cullen or a Swan. I grabbed some food from the counter. I think the humans called it salad, personally, I thought it smelled like compost. I spotted a familiar shock of bronze hair and headed in that direction. Alice, Bella and Edward were sitting at a table near the edge of the room. What surprised me, was the fact that they were not alone. In fact, two more humans were perched on seats around the happened to see me first and tried to stand up to wave at me. She had however, managed to get her foot tangled up in the leg of the chair she was on and nearly face-planted on the floor. Edward caught her and I giggled, weaving a path through the students. The increase in their pulses indicated that they were either shit-scared of me, or that my earlier theory was more correct than I had anticipated. High school was just filled with perpetually horny people. Alice indicated to the empty space between her and the female human. I promptly parked my behind on the seat and threw out a very friendly smile.

"Hi there!" I said, not bothering to hide my accent. "I'm Kali. Edward and Alice's cousin." The girl's heartbeat rocketed as her subconsious screamed at her to back away from me.

Not wanting to be impolite, she extended a hand to me and mumbled "I'm Angela." Thanking Alice for the prior glove warning and shook her hand gently. I held out my hand for the boy who intoduced himself as Ben. After the introductions, Alice launched herself into 'Operation Make Kali the center Of Attention'. It was not what I needed. I felt like beating her over the head with her Louis Vuitton bag. "Don't even think about it. It's vintage." she muttered under her breath. Lunch finished and surprisingly, I enjoyed myself. I didn't usually spend time interacting with humans, mostly because I found it painful in the throat area, especially before I was due to hunt. When the bell rang, I dumped the biohazard that was my lunch into the nearest bin I could find and headed off to my next class which was now Biology with Edward and Bella. High school was boring. I knew everything the teachers were telling me and I could have quite easily refuted half of the garbage they were spouting as truth or fact. How the hell those kids did this every 5 years, I will never know. I wanted to pnuch holes in the walls just so I had something to do. The relief I felt when the last bell rang was slightly intoxicating.

The biggest smile spread across my face as I practically skipped over to the office, pulling Bella with me. I had offered to give her a ride home in the shiny new car, but she looked downright horrified. "It's not you, I promise. It's just that... I ...um..."

"Just spill it, Swan. I'm getting old waiting." She burst out laughing and I had to wait a full two minutes before she recovered. "I just don't like being away from him."

"What about when he hunts?"

"It is difficult."

"Why?" I was thoroughly confused now.

"After Italy, I can't bear not being with him. I need him close."

"You know, Bella," I said, shifting closer to her "I don't believe I have heard the Italy story. I think you, me, a cup of coffee and a girls night may be in order. I'm clearly missing something."

"I'll talk to Edward." she promised as we headed back to the cars. She climbed into the car, and Edward took off. I shoved my way through the steadily growing crowd that surrounded my car and got in. Alice was already in the passenger side, rummaging in her bag. I studiously ignored the wanton gazes and possible drooling episodes that related to either the car or the two people in it, and pulled out of the carpark and headed home. Jasper was on the porch, playing a guitar when we got home. A vintage 1956 Martin Acoustic... the boy had impecable taste. I pulled the car up at the front door. I was going for a drive later and didn't see the point in shoving it in the garage just to take it out again. I was going to have to talk to Esme about another garage anyway.

"Kali, when you were at school, the Audi dealership phoned." Jasper said, placing the instrumental masterpiece on the porch. "Your R8 will be ready by next week and they will ship it out. I called the Ferrari dealership for you as well. Because of the custom paint, it will take a week longer than they thought."

"Thanks Jazz." I watched him as his barely contained excitement flared out and hit everyone in the area. I suddenly felt ricidulously keyed-up about my cars coming. "For God sake, Jazz. Calm down! Tell ya what? When it finally arrives, you can help me break it in."

"Really? Can I take it out first?"

"Now you are pushing it, Empath." I said, narrowing my eyes at him. He just laughed once and headed inside with Alice.

"Game of chess to see who drives it first, Kals?" Jasper asked, motioning towards the already set up board.

"I would love to Jasper, but I have homework to do." I said and pouted like a teenager. Japser laughed again and sat down to on the chair next to the computer and started to ready again. I walked into the kitchen to hang up my car keys, when I was confronted with Esme and a huge pile of laundry.

"Hello, dear! Did you have a good day at school?" She asked as she folded what was clearly one of Emmett's shirts.

"It was alright. I did learn two new things today though."

"And those were?"

"One; High school is boring. Two; teenage boys are sick in the head."

"That sounds about right." She chuckled. "Do you need anything in? I'm going to go for a drive."

"I heard you say you had homework to do. I think you should do that first."

"Yes, MOM!" I said, laughing as I ducked a pair of socks she tossed at my head. Esme laughed and went back to folding some washing as I continued to bore myself with my scholastic endeavours.