Disclaimer: I do not own Treasure Planet

The Art of Marriage

For magnoliastar08

That evening Jim and Cassandra emerged out the room and went downstairs for dinner after changing back into their clothes except for Cassandra of course who found a plain, black dress to wear in the wardrobe. She looked up and down the corridor before she walked out which made Jim chuckle. She hadn't done anything that incriminating but she was still worried with being seen. As they walked down the stairs Jim reached out to hold her hand but then thought better of it in case Marianne saw them.

She seemed pretty worried that the two would be in a relationship even when it was speculated upon hypothetically so it was safe to say that she probably would hate it even more if she found out that the likelihood of a relationship between the two them wasn't confined to theoretical realms. He didn't understand what her problem was and why she felt such a thing concerned her but nonetheless he knew better than to aggravate a pirate and it was only going to be for a little while. However he did risk a swift, warm brush of the fingers against the side of her hand.

Her body tingled against this brief touch and glanced over her shoulder. She smiled a little, gingerly when Jim leaned forward a little closer to see her reaction to his touch. He smirked at her with a seductive twinkle in his eye. She blushed and quickly turned away. He chuckled at her sudden shyness, he remembered when he was training there were a few drunken kisses at the tavern on some nights with other cadets but she had never even held a man's hand other than her father or brothers before today.

As she walked down the foot of the stairs she felt as if all the eyes in the room were burning into her. She could feel the landlady staring at her, thinking and knowing of what she had done in the room with Captain Hawkins. Why had she gone back to thinking so formally about him? She looked over her shoulder and smiled weakly at him. He could tell from this look that she was nervous about something and frowned. Why was she suddenly so afraid?

She smiled to herself reassuring but as soon as she knew he couldn't see her again she dropped the smile. She glanced over at the landlady who nodded to her with a solemn look on her face. She felt like she could read her mind and she knew of the turmoil that was running through her thoughts. Although she was afraid that she might be thinking something else. She was frightened that she might still be thinking that they were a young married couple and the expression on Cassandra's face signified a hint of conflict and reconsideration of her actions. In some ways that woman was right.

Cassandra wasn't entirely sure that she had done the right thing. How could she know at her age? She was only eighteen. She was barely old enough to know what to do with her life. She rubbed her eyes. She couldn't believe she was bringing herself back to this place again. She knew what she wanted, like Jim said the plan that she had set out for herself just wasn't following in the order that she would prefer. How could she expect him to wait that long?

Jim rubbed her back and leaned close to her ear. "Are you alright?" He whispered.

She shivered against the warmth of his voice brushed against her neck. She felt that little tingling of desire rising up in her body and nodded stiffly.

"Yes." She said quietly.

Before he could say anything else the landlady came up to them again and smiled accommodatingly.

"Would you like a table, loves?"

"Yes, thank you." Jim said and followed her to a spare table with his hand resting against Cassandra's back as he guiding her through the room. She felt more grateful than annoyed that he was pushing her gently since she felt so light-headed she felt like she would be unable to function without proper guidence.

"Are your parent's joining you?" The woman asked Cassandra who nodded silently.

Jim and Cassandra sat on one side of the table and Cassandra gave him a look to order for her. She waited patiently for the woman to leave after Jim had made some small talk with her mentioning that his mother ran an inn herself which evidently impressed the woman and led to a five minute conversation. Cassandra was crossed with being annoyed but also grateful for this intervention so that she could have time to collect her thoughts but she also wanted this woman gone.

After she was out of ear shot Jim turned to her and took her hand. "Okay, tell me what's wrong?"

She took in a deep breath and glanced around in the darkness at the other customers. Some glanced up to look at her while others were more concerned with the conversations they were having with their companions or like her just wanted to be left alone.

She looked down at the table and shook her head dismissively. "I...I'd rather not talk about it here."

"Well when are you going to talk about it?" He asked gently.

"I don't know." She answered in a desperate voice. She looked around in panic and wiped away the tears before they could escape from her eyes. "I just feel like everyone is staring at me."

He chuckled. "Just because you're so pretty."

She turned back to him with a serious look on her face. "Don't tease me."

"I'm not teasing also lets face people our age are mostly here for one reason."

"Elopement." She answered for him.

"Well we know that's not the reason we're here, now do we?" He reasoned. "Besides when we do marry I was hoping that we wouldn't have to be sneaking around like this."

She began to laugh herself. "God, you're talking about getting married now."

"I thought you were the one who always like to have a plan."

"And you're the one who always likes to make it up as you go along." She returned with a smile.

He looked away with a shy smile on his face. She tilted her head and took his chin and kissed him on the cheek in the same manner a wife would kiss her husband to comfort him.

He glanced out the corner of his eye and smiled. "You're acting incredibly wife-ish."

"You're behaving like a child...So in other words like a husband annoyed with his wife." She chided.

He laughed. "How does that work out?"

She looked up as if she was thinking deeply about this question. "Well let me see," She began. "You're being all broody but at the same time a little frustrated but you don't want to show it so you try to comfort me in the best way you can. Sometimes that involves teasing me but in the end you find yourself being in more conflict than I am. Hence why I have to kiss you because then that makes all the boo boos go away. You see its easier for a woman to comfort her husband rather than the other way round." She paused. "And it might have something to do with the fact that I love you."

He blinked. "What?"

She giggled as she was quite proud of the fact that she was able to dumbfound him with all those things she had made up. Or had she? She may have not remembered her parents marriage as clearly as she once did but she remembered the happy times. She remembered how affectionate they were with one another. Perhaps she could remember more lessons that she had learnt from her parents marriage just by watching them than they realised.

But the more she looked at Jim the more she thought that it was something else that she had said. Did she hurt his feelings at some point during that speech? Was she being too critical of him? Did she make him think that she really didn't love him? Was it something to do with the fact that she implied that he could never comfort her? She took his hand and brushed her fingers against his gently.

"Oh my love I'm sorry." She whispered.

He frowned. "For what?"

"For hurting your feelings."

He smirked slightly but his eyes were somewhere between either sad or incredibly and utterly happy.

"How could you have hurt my feelings? You just said you loved me and I never thought you would ever admit that anybody let alone so soon..."

She looked at him, trying to read his thoughts from the expression on his face. No one had ever said that to him. She could imagine how hard that must feel being at the age that he was. She could remember all those years ago when he was training to be a Space Captain that he mentioned a father that had walked out on him and his mother. She could only imagine the pain of being left by someone who chose to leave oppose to someone who had no choice in the matter. She could imagine that could lead you to questioning whether it was your fault more than which direction to point the finger.

She placed her hand against his cheek and tilted his chin so that he was looking at her. "Well its the truth."

He chuckled. "Really?"

She held his hands in hers knowing this time she had to be the one to take his hand now. "Jim, when you and I first met I was..."

"Just a child." He added on a comical note.

"I was very sad. I wanted to blame anyone for the death of my mother not knowing that it wasn't a case of having to blame someone but to just accept it. It took until I met Helen to realise that. I had to accept it not to find someone to blame. I to let it go."

"What has this got to do with the first time we met?"

She raised her eyebrows. "First darling, you have to be patient. I am getting to the point." She paused. "When I met you you gave me that sign of empathy no one had showed me. You told me that it must be lonely and it was. Whereas Helen taught me the harder lesson of love was that you had to let them go when it was time for them to leave but that there was still that hope that they will always be with you and that will see them again. But instead of holding their hand tightly you have to share that relationship with an open palm.

'So really you both taught me two very important lessons. You taught me something which has taken me ages to figure that being lonely makes it very difficult to get through life. Its makes your life very dull and pointless. Helen taught me that if you truly love someone you have to have the generosity to let them go...and that you have to stop punishing yourself whether it was their fault for leaving or not."

"Well in my case-"

"It wasn't." She interjected. "It was his fault, James. Not yours. He could have chosen to look after his wife and child. He could have chosen to do the hard but responsible thing to do and stay. But he chose the cowards way out when someone realises they have a hard job to do and that is his fault not yours. It took me a long time to realise that I was worth someone without having someone to tell me so please don't let yourself think your worth something because of me. I have to say your father...He's such a fool for walking out on you."

"Why?"

"Because he got to miss out on seeing his son grow up to be better man than either of them could imagine. But it turns out that you turned out better than that, Jim. You turned out to be a thousand times better man that he could ever be."

He shook his head. "You didn't know him."

"I think I know I enough about a man who walks out on his son and child."

He raised his eyebrow with a cynical look on his face but inside he could feel all those anxieties beginning to break away. All these years, and he knew this deep down, that he was still carrying all that guilt of his father leaving him and his mother. He did on more occasions than not hold onto the belief that he had something to do with the fact that his father left him and his mother rather than just the life they were living. His mother had told him over and over again that it wasn't his fault but it was never able to erase that guilt. He needed to hear it from someone else. Someone who wasn't holding onto any anger or guilt herself that was a result of the same incident.

"Well...Most people would tell you you wouldn't...But I think I know better than to say that to you."

She tilted her head exaggeratedly. "See? We're not so bad at pretend marriage."

"No I suppose not."

She saw that he still looked a little uncertain and still undeniably sad. "I know what it feels like to lose someone but I don't know how it feels to have someone leave you by choice. So I can't lecture you on how you're supposed to feel, even though technically I just did but the point is...You're going to get through this. One day you're going to realise that its not worth wasting your life playing the game of 'if', 'buts' and 'maybes'. You're not going to wake up one morning and find that its gone. It's a lot less...cleaner than that, getting rid of all that turmoil is messy but you have to absolutely trust me when I say this but it is going to get better."

He looked at her hopelessly. "What if it never goes away?"

She shook her head. "Then I would only ask why you would hold onto something like that?"

"Maybe because there's not way of getting rid of that guilt."

"He-" She stopped herself before contradicting what she said before and hesitated. "There's no point feeling guilty for the actions of another person when you yourself know that we can only responsible for what we do not for what your father did. He walked out not you. He made the choice for himself not you."

He frowned. "Why are you so determined to talk about my problems and not yours?"

Because she was trying to avoid the subject of her problems. That would be the honest answer but not what would be the complete and utter truth of the matter. She also saw that there were a lot of problems he was having with his childhood which he never had the chance to talk to someone about. Or if he had done he hadn't had the chance to hear what he needed to hear. Perhaps he had been given compliments or condolences but he had never heard the words 'It's not your fault' because they already expected him to know that. Or they felt from their comforting words he would be able to figure that out himself. But those were words which needed to be said aloud.

She laughed. "Perhaps because you've helped me so much, even when I didn't want it and I just want to show that I'm here for you too. You've spent so much time and energy trying to hammer down the fact that you care about me enough to want to deal with my monumental problems. Persistently may I add when most people would give up and I just...Want you to know that I care about you. Love you even. I might as well throw that out there since I've already said it."

He narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously. "Do you have a phobia of using the 'L' word?"

She gave his a sour look then considered it. "Yes." She admitted.

"Really? I wonder why that is."

"Because its a cliché." She replied sarcastically.

"Cassie we're in a serious conversation I think we should keep the sarcastic comments to a minimum."

"Sorry." She replied, even though she didn't look the least bit apologetic. "Okay...Alright, its because its always been associated with the cliché. Its been romanticized and overly used and I wish I could have another way of saying that...I love you."

"But its the simplest, plainest way of putting it."

She blinked. "What's your point?"

"Well that's you written all over."

She wasn't sure whether to be insulted by this or try to unpick it for some hidden meaning. Men were always saying these sorts of things in love letters or to a woman which seemed to be an insult but meant something else completely. That seemed to be what Jim did a lot with her, which she now realised was to tell her or hint at something more. He was always saying things which meant one thing to one person and another thing for her. But she was mostly able to tell from the way he said these things to her but right now it seemed to be ambiguous in terms of what he may mean by saying this.

"Thanks I'm plain and simple."

He shook his head. "I'm not saying that in a bad way. You're the most honest person I've ever met, sometimes to the point of being insulting. But I find that kind of refreshing. Also you're not materialistic and you like things that are real. You're an incredibly free person who doesn't allow stereotypes, other peoples opinions or prejudices to hinder your own perspective. That's what I mean."

She stared at him silently and smiled a little shyly. "That's the nicest thing I ever expected for someone to say to me."

He raised an eyebrow. "You were insulted at first."

"Then you explain what you meant...I never thought I would be lucky enough for someone to love me enough to say true things to me. Rather than saying that you're as beautiful as the sun. Or something cliched as that."

"Well I am going to have to make a mental note of there being no clichés." He said pretending to scribble this note down on a piece of paper.

"Otherwise you will be out the door." They both laughed and he took both her hands. He leaned forward to kiss her until he was interrupted by the landlady bringing them their drinks.

"There you go, lovies."

"Thank you." Jim replied.

"Thank you." Cassandra added politely before the woman left.

Jim watched the woman before turning back to her obviously annoyed by the interruption. She smiled at his disappointment knowing that a woman could always benefit from keeping a man on a short lead. Cassandra eyed the two mugs with suspicion. She knew Jim loved her but he was always one for practical pranks. He was a man after all. Men were still tricking people as if they were ten years old way past the age of thirty so she couldn't imagine Jim had grown out of this habit whether he was a Space Captain or not. Whether or not his job entailed enforcing the law across the universe.

"What did you order for us?" She asked nervously.

He chuckled. "Something that will put hair on your chest. Well...I hope not. I really would prefer you without hair on your chest but I would love you nonetheless."

Cassandra took a tentative sip and almost spat it out but wanted to look brave and took a huge gulp sending a burning sensation down her throat making her cough uncontrollably.

"Oh Sweetie you don't take a real swig of it the first time you drink it." He laughed sympathetically.

"That really burns." She gagged.

"Well it will."

She looked at him sourly. "I bet you're finding this all hilarious."

"Oh no...A little bit." He laughed.

"It's not funny." She moaned.

"You have to admit its a little bit funny."

"Only a little bit." She reasoned.

"There we go. A compromise."

"Another art we have mastered in the skills of marriage."

He chuckled. "I'd like to see what we would be like at real marriage."

She nodded with her smile dimming a little. "One day."