DISCLAIMER I OWN NOTHING STEPHENIE MEYER DOES!
Chapter 15
I can't believe this was really happening. What was I thinking? He was going to regret this and then he would leave me. You might have heard this before but, when we love; we love hard. There's no going back. So to lose a love like this would be devastating.
Suddenly these thoughts were pushed out of my head when I felt his warm hand grab mine.
"What's wrong?" Jack asked.
"Nothing I was just thinking." I said. I didn't really need to watch the road. I had been to this place so many times and with the good memory and reflexes I had nothing to worry about.
"Well what were you thinking? And don't lie because whatever it was you were cringing." He noticed almost everything. And usually wouldn't let me get away with it. As annoying as that got, it was one of the things I loved about him.
"I was thinking about how much I loved you." I said partially telling the truth. I didn't want to sound so…clingy.
"And that made you cringe?" he asked.
"No that wasn't what I was cringing at." I looked over at him.
"Tell me? Please?" there was no way I could resist that.
"I was thinking what would happen if you were to hate me and leave." There I said it.
He took the hand he held in his and kissed it. "I could never hate you and I would die before I left you. I need you. I hate to sound this needy but I do. I can be happy without you but it's nowhere near the happiness I feel when I'm with you. They don't even compare." I could see the love in his eyes as he said this.
"You want to know something funny? Funny may not be the right word but I can't think of a better one." I asked glancing over at him. The driving was a help I could act like I was watching the road if I needed to avoid eye contact.
"What?" he asked back.
"I promised myself I would tell you what I was and that if you went out screaming I wouldn't bother you again. You accepted all of us though. When I realized I loved you, I said that I would offer you the choice of change. I would tell you about the up sides and the downs, then you could decide for yourself. I then promised myself that no matter what you chose I would accept it. When you chose to change, I was shocked. That's when I really thought about what could happen. You could regret this, you could come to hate me, or the worst one of them all, you could slip and kill someone. That's why I have the issues I do with making you like me." I said keeping my eyes on the road. Only Jack could make me like this.
"Well first off, I will never regret this. No matter how long I live. Next, I've already told you that I could never hate you. I love you way too much. Lastly, I could and may slip. But I know that you and the rest of your family will try to keep me from doing so. And if I do slip I know that you will help me… get over it?" the way he said the last part was like a question.
"That works as well as anything else. You'll still feel guilty but eventually it does subside." I said.
"With you there, I can handle anything." He said and kissed my hand.
"I feel the exact same way. I feel like no matter what happens, as long as you're with me I can handle anything that comes our way." I said looking into his gorgeous eyes. I sped up a little. I couldn't wait until I could kiss him again.
The rest of the car ride was spent with light topics or in a nice quiet.
When we finally got there it was around two in the afternoon. We left the house arounf ten. That was with me speeding. Driving with the speed limits, it usually takes about seven hours.
The place hadn't changed. It was still as beautiful as when I left it. It was a cute little log cabin. It had a very cozy living room, a nice big bathroom, a good kitchen, and a very nice master bedroom. There were some other guestrooms but I rarely used those.
"Wow this place is amazing." He said looking around.
"Thank you. I like to come up here to just get away." I said.
"This place screams you." we both laughed at that.
"Well I did decorate and design it." I said while walking over towards him. He had set the stuff down. He had insisted that he had to carry the bags in. He was now sitting on the couch. I went over there and cuddled right into him. I then moved so that I was facing him. I grabbed his face and kissed him.
"What was that for?" he asked when we finally broke apart.
"You have no idea how much I wanted to do that in the car." I said smiling.
"Well then don't let me stop you." he said as he started kissing my neck.
"Wait." I said.
"What?" he asked with an almost hurt look in his eyes.
"You're sure you want me to change you right and you don't want to wait?" I asked.
"Yes. I already told you I don't want to miss anything with you." he said as he gave me a quick kiss. I loved how he knew I wasn't finished and I wasn't going to get distracted.
"Alright. I went hunting this morning and if we do what we're both thinking, then I would have to go hunting again. Just to make sure I don't lose control." I said.
"I understand. So should you bite me now? While you have the most control?" he asked so simply and calmly.
"You're sure you want this? I mean there's no turning back. Once I bite, I can't undo the venom that will be spreading. And it will be excruciatingly painful." I wanted him to know what he was doing.
"You told me that and I am sure. I want to be with you and I never want to have to be away from you, even if it's only sleep." He said.
"I hate this. I hate feeling like I'm taking everything away from you." I said looking down.
"You aren't taking anything away from me. You're giving me a new life. A life where I get to spend every moment with you." he said back.
"I can get pretty annoying." That was my lame attempt to make a joke at the time. He knew it too.
"Never."
"Follow me." I said and led him to the master bedroom. We both layed down on the bed and he held me in his arms.
"Alright. I have to ask one more time. You're sure?" I said looking into his eyes for any sign of doubt.
"Yes." He said and I saw no doubt only love.
"I'm sorry." I said and leaned down to his neck. I kissed it a few times.
"For what?" he asked.
"This." I said and bit down.
He tasted beyond amazing. I hadn't had human blood in so long. I almost forgot what it tasted like and what I remembered it did not taste this good. I pulled back. I had to. If I drank too much he would die. I couldn't take that.
He started writhing and I knew that pain was just beginning. Now the helpless feeling kicked in. So I did the only thing I could think of. I just held him there and stroked his hair. Whispering into his ear, telling him everything would be ok and it would be over soon.
The only time I moved was when he would move and I had to readjust. That way I was always holding him.
For three very long days he was in horrible pain. He didn't scream once. The only sounds he would make were small groans. And those didn't happen that often.
Finally on the night of the third day, the writhing slowed down. His heart was also giving its last beats. I didn't realize how anxious I had become. I needed to see his eyes open, even if they were the newborn red. And I needed to hear his voice, no matter how much it had changed. It would still be his. His heart gave it's last beat and the writhing stopped.
His head was in my lap and he was curled up. So when he finally opened his eyes, I was the first thing he saw.
"Were you always this beautiful?" he asked a small smile on his lips. I laughed and if I could I would be crying.
"I missed you." I said. He then moved and grabbed me. He held me against his chest. I also noticed that he was now the same temperature as I was. He didn't feel cold or hot, just warm. It's hard to describe.
"I was here the entire time." He said and kissed my head.
"I know that. But I missed talking to you and hearing you voice and laugh." I said and snuggled closer to him.
"We have forever to make up for the time lost." He said and laughed. I loved that laugh.
"We do. How do you feel?" I asked.
"Pretty good. I have you in my arms and I get to spend forever with you." He said and smiled at me. I smiled right back.
"And your throat?" I asked, knowing he must be thirsty.
"Not too bad. Definitely not as bad as you described it. It's a little scratchy." He said.
"Really?" I was shocked. That was something I remembered. The feeling like your throat was on fire.
"Yes." He said.
"Wow. I still would feel better if we went hunting." I said looking at him in amazement.
"Let's go." He said with excitement.
"Why are you so excited to go hunting?" I asked laughing.
"I didn't tell you?" he asked with a smirk.
"Tell me what?" I looked at him curiously.
"Since you told me about it, I've wanted to see you hunt. I just can't imagine someone that looks like you could take down a bear." He smiled at me.
"Well then let's go then." I said and grabbed his hand and ran. That part shocked him. He was amazed he could keep up with me.
He did great hunting. I also had a few deer.
I was finishing up my last one. I had left Jack when he was working on another deer. I was just standing up from the ground when I felt two arms wrap around me.
"That is possibly my new favorite thing to watch." He said kissing up my neck.
"Why?" I said. I didn't even realize that I had moved my head to the side and back. It was now resting on his shoulder and tilted.
"When you hunt, you are absolutely beautiful, not that you aren't normally. But that just intensifies your beauty." He then turned me around and kissed me on my lips. I had a feeling I was going to like him not having to breathe.
We broke apart and then ran back to the cabin. We then went straight to the bedroom. If I thought the previous times with him were great, then this was absolutely mind blowing.
Afterwards, he just held me in his arms. He didn't sleep now so for the rest of the night he just stroked my hair. We talked a little but not much. We were just enjoying each other's company. I couldn't believe this was happening. I had found my love and he had accepted me. And he was now like me. I didn't have to worry about hurting him in any way. This was the greatest feeling ever. I was so content.
"I love you." I sighed happily.
"I love you too." He said and kissed me. I loved those kisses. And we get to be like this for two weeks.
SO WHAT DID YOU THINK? I THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD PLACE TO STOP UNTIL THE NEXT CHAPTER.