Author Note: Thanks to Content1 and Bella C'ella Luna for all their help

I don't own it. I just play with it.

Team Jasper FTW!

Chapter 15

Homecomings and Cigarettes.

I waited outside with Rosalie for our hunters to come home. She was anxious to see Emmett and sitting inside for him wasn't enough. We were on the back porch, sitting at either side of the stairs, just watching the sky. One hundred thousand burning suns twinkled and shimmered against the empty black, each of them beautiful and unique. It was remarkably peaceful out here with the only sounds coming from the river, which bubbles and shifted quietly at the bottom of the lawn. Bella, who was finally sleeping in Edward's room and Esme and Alice having a debate about whether or not tartan would be in fashion next season. From the sound of it, we would all be wearing plaid within the next couple of weeks. It was foolish to bet against Alice with regard to such things.

We heard the boys running towards the house, making no effort to be silent as they went. Their laughter increased in volume as it bounced off the trees and filled the cool night air. Rosalie and I stood up and moved onto the grass, scanning the trees, waiting for them to break through. I quickly whispered to Rosalie to shield her thoughts from Edward as I didn't want him to break anything out here. Esme would have a fit. She nodded once and focused her attention back onto the forest. I focused on Edward's gift, allowing it to fill my mind and I heard their jovial thoughts just before they came into view. They broke the treeline, their minds filled with their respective mates. Rosalie bolted towards Emmett and crashed into him with the force of a high-speed collision. They became driven by lust and longing and let out a collective sigh. They noted each others reactions and laughed again. The words 'Pussy Whipped' rattled around Emmett's head, causing Edward to stumble with mirth as he landed his jump from the other side of the river. Looking at each of their faces, I began laughing at the ridiculous grins they each wore. They looked like love-sick idiots. I suppose they were.

"Did you have fun, boys?" I asked lightly.

"It was a good trip, dear." Carlisle answered, not really looking at my but more in the direction that he knew his mate was in. A strong current of contentment swathed around me.

"Jazz, knock it off. Your wife is inside torturing Esme with tartan fabric samples. If you don't get in there and try and stop her, we will be wearing plaid until Halloween."

"Yeah, like I could stop her..." he joked, giving my a quick smirk and flitting towards the house. Carlisle followed suit. I would have to go out of the house this evening and go for a drive of hunting or something. The house was going to get rather lustful tonight and I really didn't need to be around that. I turned to Emmett and Rosalie but they were gone as well. They were bloody fast when they were horny, I gave them that. Then the reality hit. I was alone, outside with Edward.

Oh great, just great!

Now it was up to me to tell him what a magnificent weekend we were having so far. Motorcycles, bad moods, pissing off to La Push to gallivant with some mutts all courtesy of Bella.

Oh shit! He heard that. His face burned with fury and he looked towards the house. He placed one foot forward, then another.

"Oh no, you don't!" I said, grabbing him around the middle and locking my hands together.

"Get off of me, Kali," His voice was deadly.

"I will after you listen to me." I tightened my grip, squeezing my arms against his torso, holding him steady. He started to think of ways to get out of my grasp, which I read from him and countered. He may have the mind-reading ability on me, but I had five hundred years of fighting and combat on him. He didn't have a hope in hell of getting around me.

"Fuck off and let me go!" He growled.

"Edward Cullen, did you just curse in the presence of a lady?" I teased, shifting my weight to the side so I could look at his face. Edward, the epitome of the eternal gentleman, just swore at me. It was hilarious. He very rarely swore but bizarrely, it suited him. I would have to try and convince him to do it more. I couldn't suppress the laughter that bubbled up my throat. He growled at me again in response.

"Hey, I can do this all night, man. It will go a lot quicker if you just calm down and relax." I thought. Finally, he relented his escape attempts and I slowly released his chest, grabbing one of his hands and pulling him towards the porch and shoved his shoulders to sit him down. "Edward, you are to listen to what I am going to say and you are to sit there until I am finished. once I am done, you can go and see Bella. Is that okay?" I didn't think he was capable of speech at the moment and he didn't dismiss my theory either. His response was a simple nod.

"Bella figured out the sleep-over thing ridiculously quickly," I began "She stropped the whole fucking two days, man. She wasn't impressed that we basically captured her and held her against her will. She was in an alright mood on Thursday until she figured it out and her attitude bombed. She grumbled her way through homework, dinner and all the girly crap Alice planned out. She was restless the whole night. She had made plans to go and see Jacob after school today, but she called him and cancelled them just before she ripped you a new one over the phone. Check your phone, by the way. The voice-mail is hilarious. She went to bed and was restless most of the night. She refused to sleep on the bed by the way. She will be on your sofa just now.

"She woke up on Friday morning in the most ridiculous bad mood. She grumbled her way though her first three classes. I kept an eye on her through the other kids heads and Alice was scanning her future every five minutes. I may have snapped at her a little because she was being so fucking immature."

"You did what?" He growled.

"One, don't you dare talk to me like that, Cullen. Two, I said what was needing said to her. Three, you aren't supposed to be interrupting me."

"Sorry," he huffed.

"As I was saying, she was walking in between her third and fourth class when we heard the engine. Jacob Black basically broke Bella out of our jail and took off with her on the back of the bike like a bat out of hell. She came back about four hours later, on a different bike, soaked to the skin and miserable. She must have had a fight with the pup or something but she didn't want to talk about it. I sat with her while she ate dinner, she finished up some homework and went to bed. She settled in a lot faster than Thursday night, but she is still a bit pissed off at us all. She just missed you like mad." I was hoping that ending on a slightly high note would help with the whole 'your girlfriend just flipped the bird to all of us' thing. I searched his newly ocher eyes, looking for some indication to the reaction he was going to give me.

"Was she hurt in anyway?" He asked in a tight voice.

"Well, she wasn't physically hurt, but, like I said, she had an argument with her puppy so you might have to talk to her about it," I shrugged. He made an attempt at standing up, but I pulled him back down again. "I'm not finished."

"Kali, I have to go and see her."

"Just wait. I can't believe I am about to say this. I really can't but... she came back from the reservation unharmed. Physically, she was fine. It might be an idea to consider the possibility of letting her go down there more often." My voice was raised barely above a whisper as I uttered what felt like blasphemous words.

"Out of the question!"

"Edward, she will get herself hurt if you force her to sneak away. She has done it twice in the past two weeks, one of which was on the back of a motorcycle. Just think about it okay? She is breakable and she could get hurt trying to sneak off."

"I will try." He muttered. Lying little fucker.

"I'm serious, Edward. If you treat her like a kid, she will rebel. Treat her like an adult, she will appreciate it and maybe start to act like one about the whole situation."

"I will consider it." He said stoically, before standing up.

"Just think about it okay, Edward?" I asked ducking under his arm to give him a hug. I felt his head nod against my hair. I leaned away from him and gave him a quick poke in the ribs. "Alright, Romeo, move it! Juliet is waiting upstairs. go and get her." He smiled widely before dashing into the house.

I left the house that night. The sounds of four mated couples was maybe just a little too much for me. I ended up driving to Tacoma in the Audi. It didn't take that long considering that the highways (Yes, I started calling them that. The family got confused when I didn't). After the two days I had been subjected to, the solitude of the road was the perfect medicine. I had had thoughts running rampant in my head, emotions crashing over me, fits of murderous rage and crushing sadness and I had a funny feeling it would only get worse. I ended up sitting at the edge of The Tacoma Narrows strait, just enjoying the solitude. It was still dark out and the thick cover of clouds gave the whole scene a strange purple hue. The water from the strait lapped gently against the shore and the whole place was serene. I was going to hate leaving this place to go home, but I would eventually, not just yet though.

I moved closer to the water, slipping my shoes off and sitting on the shore and letting the waves lap onto my toes. I could feel each individual grain of sand at it brushed against my feet. I closed my eyes and breathed in a lungful of the saltwater, savouring the taste on the back of my tongue. I had sat like this at the edge of several rivers and oceans before, but this time I was at peace. Before, I would have been miserable. I would contemplate everything that was wrong with my life and how much I had lost. Now, I was here, sitting at the edge of the world and I was happy. I had a new family. Another chance to be part of something bigger than myself.

I sat for an hour, just relishing in the sensation of the foam and sand at my feet when I stood up and headed back to my family. I made it home at 8:30 in the morning. As I approached the house, I was silently thankful that the sounds of the mated couples had died into hushed, loving whispers. At least the moaning was out of the way. It was starting to get tedious and kind of made my chest hurt a little. I remembered that feeling and missed it, even if it was a shadow of what these couples had. I would need a day away from the house today. I decided to ask Jasper and Emmett if they were interested in a shopping trip to Port Angeles. They had been trying to convince me of the benefits of games consoles, specifically, one called an Xbox. I had no idea what it was, but they assured me I would like it when I got one.

"Jasper will be otherwise occupied all day, but Emmett will be free, Kali." Alice called when I opened the front door.

"What am I getting volunteered for?" Emmett grumbled.

"I want to go shopping in Port Angeles, Emmett," I said, placing the keys for the Audi in the same spot Jasper had left them. "I think it is time for me to consider games consoles."

"Sweet! Which one?" Well, at least I got his attention.

"Ones, Emmett. There will be more than one,"

"Kals, if I haven't said it already, you are awesome."

"I'll add that to my already impressive list of attributes. If you move your arse, you can drive,". Thirty seconds later, a fully clothed and buzzing Emmett crashed down the stairs, jumping the last five and landed directly in front of me. "For fuck sake, Emmett. Esme would have killed you if you broke the floor."

"Nah, I would have fixed it and gave her the puppy-dog eyes." He said smugly.

"I heard that, son, and it has been filed away for future reference." Esme said quietly from upstairs.

"Shit," he muttered, punching me on the arm. "You are going to get me into trouble."

"You manage that all by yourself, Em. What do you want to drive today?"

His one word answer was almost like a growl. "Lambo."

"Alright, alright. Here," I tossed him the keys and he was a mountain shape blur heading in the general direction of the garage as he grabbed the keys in mid-air and I knew he would be trying to get into my car. I was not disappointed. I watched with a mixture of amusement and horror as I witnessed one of the funniest things I had ever seen. The sight of Emmett trying to squeeze his six-foot seven frame into a Lamborghini Murcielago was possibly the highlight of my decade. For some reason, adjusting the seat's position seemed like defeat to him and continued to try and fit himself into the space that my five foot eight frame had recently occupied.

"Em, we can take a different car. You are going to break my Lamborghini," I said, taking a step forward.

"No!" He growled.

"Will you at least move the seat back? I'm nearly a foot shorter than you, dumbass! You won't fit if you don't," I shoved him out of the way and released the lever for the seat, pushing it back as far as I could and moved to the passenger side and got settled. The hilarity ensued as he tried to shoe-horn his way into my car. "One leg at a time, man,"

After another couple of attempted, my bright-spark of a brother was finally in the car and we were off down the driveway before I had time to make fun of him. Even by my standards, he was driving like a lunatic.

"Emmett, if you crash my car, I swear, I will paint your Jeep bubblegum pink. Am I making myself clear?" I kept my voice even and quiet and allowed it to sound like the threat that it was.

"Kali, chill out. You sound like Eddie-Boy when he talks about his Vanquish."

"Difference is, Em, I will follow through with my threats,"

"Fine, fine,"he conceded, holding both his hands up in surrender. "Just don't touch the jeep."

"Both hands on the wheel, Emmett!" I yelled.

"Take a chill pill," he said, placing his hands back onto the steering wheel.

"Emmett, when I get home, I am taking your Jeep to the nearest garage and having it painted. How does 'Barbie Pink' suit ya?"

"Kali..." His growl was meant to be a warning, but I took it as a challenge. Arrogant little bugger!

"Then drive like a reasonable, seventy year old vampire and not a seventeen year old boy racer in a trouser-tent car."

"Hold on, trouser-tent?" He asked, looking slightly confused.

"Good God, I forgot, you don't get the British stuff. Trouser tent is what happens when you get an erection while wearing trousers."
"...Well, I think that's the first time I have heard you say erection, Kals." he was thoroughly amused by the idea.

"I am six centuries old, Emmett. I think it's fair to say I know the word."

"Well, if you say so..."

We reached Port Angeles about half an hour later, once I convinced Emmett to slow the fuck down and be careful with my baby. We reached the shopping mall and Emmett dragged me to the nearest shop that looked like it would sell computer games and consoles. If I thought shopping with Alice for clothes was something to behold, then shopping with Emmett was downright scary. He guided me around the store once, spotting his prey and on the second time around, he pounced. The trolley we were in command of was full, literally overflowing. I saw him pile three consoles and then two hand-held consoles and I gave up counting the games after the fiftieth. It seemed to be in my best interest to just let him run riot and do what he liked. This meant that countless games and consoles and several other pieces of equipment, one of which was shaped like a guitar and I was sure that I would hate, would all be my possessions soon enough. Emmett assured me that it would be one of my favourites. Seeing as this was in the realm of his expertise, I bowed to his superior knowledge and went along with it.

Hitting the tills was quite entertaining though. Emmett extricated the two games he was buying from the trolley and paid for them, leaving me with the heap of electrical nonsense he chose for me. He went to pick up the car and I knew, before he even left to get it, that there was no way in hell that this lot was fitting in there.

"Is that everything for you, miss?" the nervous girl at the checkout asked. Her hands shook as she placed the last of the games into a bag. At least this human had the correct natural response to vampires. I should have taken pictures and notes for Bella.

"Yes, thanks." I replied, smiling as I passed her my credit card. Emmett appeared to take the some of the bags outside and the girls face went bright red. I mean, airplanes could have used her face to land safely in a thick fog. Her heart-rate picked up as Emmett smiled at her on the way out. Oh the poor girl was attracted to the great oaf. He came back to pick up the rest of the bags.

"Emmett, you be nice to the girl or I will force-feed you ice-cream." I whispered in a tone that no human had a hope of picking up. He simply nodded and took the last two bags and took them outside. Once we were outside, I noticed that, not only was my Lamborghini here, but there was a van parked behind it.

"Where did you get that?" I asked

"I got it just now," He said. "$6,000. Pretty cheap as these things go."

"Emmett, no-one will drive that once we get it home and we have nowhere to put it."

"I'm going to donate it to the nearest Goodwill I can find once we are done." He said, effectively ending the conversation.

It took us a couple of minutes of heated discussion to decide who would drive what on the way home. I drove the van. It was almost worth it to see Emmett struggle to get himself back into the Lamborghini. I was sorely tempted to cripple the Jeep just so that I could I let him borrow it. Watching him get in and out of this car was priceless. We drove at my speed, because the van had the horsepower of a hairdryer and it was heavily loaded. The only stop we made was at a petrol station to refill the Lamborghini and for me to buy something I hadn't bought for nearly twenty years.

"Pump three please." I told the attendant.

"anything else?"

"Um, packet of Marlboro menthol, please?"

"ID." This guy was no nonsense. I liked his style. I gave him the ID that made me twenty-two years old. The guy checked the photograph, then my face then the photograph again.

"Hm." was his only comment as he tossed the cigarettes and my ID onto the counter. I picked them up and offered him the money for the fuel and my guilty habit and went back to the van. Emmett looked at me like I had lost my mind.

"Kals, what the hell?"

"I am six hundred and two. I am allowed to smoke if I want." I defiantly stated, getting back into the van.

"Esme will kill you."

"Not of the cigarettes get me first." I quipped.

"Can you even smoke those?"

"Yes. I gave it up a while back though."

"Why?"

"It made my clothes stink."

We headed out and were on the road home. The driveway was a pain in the arse in the van. Its center of gravity was a lot higher that I was used to and the load of goodies in the back wasn't helping any, either. We were about half way up the drive when the atmosphere hit us. We had been gone all day and it was nearly five o'clock now. The house was shrouded in a weird aura of anger, fear and confusion.

"Something is wrong." Emmett said from the car behind me.

"I know."

We didn't even take the cars to the garage, abandoning them outside the front door. We got inside and the room was full of statues. Alice was sitting on the sofa opposite the TV with her hands pressed to her head. Jasper sat beside her, holding her around the shoulders. Esme and Carlisle had the other sofa, holding hands and looking terrified.

"Alice, what happened?" I demanded. No-one in the room moved as I powered towards Alice. I barely reached her when Emmett's phone rang out, shattering the silence.

"Edward, what's up?" he asked.

"Bring Jasper and Kali to Bella's house." Edward said in a flat tone.

"What happened?" Emmett asked again.

"Someone has been at Bella's house. One of our kind." he responded.

"We are on our way." Emmett said, closing the phone and pulling me out of the house. Jasper was hot on our heels as we climbed into his Jeep. We barely had the doors shut before Emmett tore out of the garage.

"Fucking hell. I think I could use a cigarette now." I said, gabbing the packet out of my pocket. Emmett laughed roughly.

"If this day gets any worse, I might have one myself."