Author note- Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. You guys make my want to happy dance.

Thanks to Content1 for all her help, advice and support. She is the wonder-beta extraordinaire!

Here we go, pretty much just a filler chapter before we get back to the battle plans. I think a little light relief is called for. We got the Cullen army officers having their little council meeting and a nice little one-to-one brother sister moment. Fluff for the most part.

I don't own Twilight or any of the copyrighted and trademarked shit in this story. My ridiculous Jasper/ Jackson obsession is enough to distract me from that other stuff anyway.

Here we go kiddies!

Chapter 24

Preparations and propositions.

When Alice had gone to babysit Bella, me and the boys sat outside on the porch and got down to some serious planning. Jasper was keeping my head cool by blasting me with his own brand of 'Vampire Painkiller' every so often when he felt my pain levels increasing. Between this and my nearly constant smoking, I was feeling better. I ignored the reproachful looks from Carlisle after he first tried to convince me that smoking was bad for my health. I politely reminded him that I was a vampire, technically dead and if the health problems associated with smoking started to appear, I would allow him to tell me 'I told you so.' before he treated me for Vampire cancer.

Discussing strategy with Edward and Jasper was...difficult. No amount of convincing would keep Edward in the battle. We needed his gift and the extra pair of hands but he would not be away from Bella. When he discussed what had caused my most recent mind-melting experience, I realised that the dynamic of their relationship was several different kinds of fucked up. Yes, Bella was physically weaker than him, but her spirit and her heart were so much stronger and soared infinitely higher than anything our kind could hope to achieve. She would have fought with everything her frail, human body had for us and I loved her dearly for it.

Edward on the other hand was an entirely different kettle of fish...or elk. His speed, his strength, his innate hunter's sensibilities- not to mention his mind reading- made him physically formidable. But they also left him weak. He was emotionally inferior to Bella because he was terrified. Under all the muscles and the venom, he was a seventeen year old boy dealing with epic, all-encompassing, world shattering, Shakespearean tragic love. He was over one hundred years old. He waited ninety years for Bella and now that he had it, he was fucking it up royally. His superior attitude pissed me off and I could only imagine how frustrating it was for Bella to be subject to his 'I know better because I'm older' mentality. I was truly convinced that his ability as a mind-reader made him think he know everything there was to know... when really, a headless fucking chicken had a better grasp on reality than he did.

"Kali, whatever you are thinking, can you please stop it? Edward is about to pop a blood vessel." Jasper was cringing under the weight of whatever Edward was feeling. Shooting a quick glance at him, I immediately filled my head with random facts that I thought would distract him.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt."

Hypnotism is banned by public schools in San Diego.

In the great fire of London in 1666 half of London was burnt down but only 6 people were injured

It's against the law to catch fish with your bare hands in Kansas.

Over 1000 birds a year die from smashing into windows.

The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses.

Windmills always turn counter-clockwise. Except for the windmills in Ireland.

All porcupines float in water.

"Porcupines?" Edward asked, finally removing the 'you just kicked my dog' look from his face and smirked in amusement.

"Porcupines." I agreed, smiling slightly. This was a waste of our time. It was further proof that the boy couldn't focus on the job at hand.

"Kali, I'm begging ya, Darlin'" Jasper pleaded. Edward had a face like thunder again and I rolled my eyes before connecting with his. They were onyx pools now and further proof of just how screwed this whole fucking thing was. How was he supposed to protect her when he wouldn't leave her to feed? Sure, we were all feeling the burn now, but we were hunting in two days. He, however, wasn't. He wouldn't take long runs for big game; he wouldn't take short runs to hunt deer and elk. I promised one time before graduation to literally hold Bella in place for a couple of hours while he went for a run and hunted, but he wasn't having it. It was beyond frustrating. Bella was in some serious and honestly, rather terrifying danger and she needed him at his best. He couldn't be that if he was suffering from... how shall I put it... Malnutrition.

"Kali..." Jasper moaned, clutching the patio table to steady himself under the weight of the emotions emitted from his brother. There was a muffled crack and several splinters of mahogany stained timber hit the porch decking.

"Shit..." I grumbled, closing my eyes and sighing.

"Esme is going to kick your ass!" Emmett crowed.

"Kali's fault!" Jasper literally pointed the finger at me. I was affronted.

"Fuck off!" I punched Jasper in the arm...hard.

"Kali Cullen!" Esme yelled from inside the house.

"Sorry Esme," What the hell? How did she make me feel like a petulant five year old just by saying my fucking name?

"Was that language really necessary?" She asked, appearing at the back door with her hands firmly placed on her hips.

"Jasper broke the table." I said, hopefully diverting her attention. Jazz's face dropped and his mouth hung open. Carlisle was reigning in the laughter while Edward looked tickled by the current situation.

"You sound like a child, Kali," She pointed out. Well, she had me pegged. I felt like a big kid right now.

"Yeah, but I'm your child, Mom." I said sweetly, batting my eyelashes once. Esme snorted delicately and headed back inside, humming an unfamiliar tune.

"How in the hell do you do that?" Emmett demanded.

"What?"

"Work her like that,"

"She just likes me more..." I teased, ducking out of the way of the ashtray he aimed at my head.

"You are picking that up, McCarty," I growled.

"Bite me, Douglas." he reciprocated the growl, a smile playing on the corner of his lips.

"Back to the matter at hand..." Carlisle said, trying to bring proceedings back to order. I muttered incoherently under my breath as I flashed down the lawn and retrieved my ashtray. I wasn't allowed to smoke in the house and I only got away with it outside if I promised to keep the waste in the little glass dish Alice had picked out for me. Gathering up the cigarette ends, I dug a little hole in the lawn with my foot and buried them. The poor little dead soldiers. "Edward, where are you going to hide Bella?" Carlisle continued, ignoring the funeral service I weas holding for my fallen comrades.

"There is a place in the mountains. It's sheltered... for the most part. We will only be there over night." I didn't have to be in his head to know he was nervous about leaving the family.

"Will you at least reconsider the idea of keeping her with us in the field? He scent will drive the newborns wild and we can all protect her." I said, knowing it was a lost cause, but I committed myself to trying one last time.

"No." He said, jaw clenched and I knew for a fact his hands would be fisted into balls under the table.

"Alright... well, tonight we have to do as much as possible, because you will have to work with the mutts and Bella later."

"Why?" Emmett asked.

"Well, the newborns are hunting her scent, if one of us hides her, they will follow us. They know what a vampire should smell like and they will know she is with us. The wolf... odor... should be enough to mask the freesia and strawberry."

"I don't like it," Edward grumbled.

"Well, you got two choices buddy. One, you can get the wolf to take her to the campsite. Two, you can keep her with ALL of us."

"I'll talk to the mutt."

"Good boy." I winked causing Emmett to choke on his laughter. Jasper was slightly more dignified in his approach, choosing to shudder violently but silently. Torturing Edward was just way too much fucking fun. He was wound so tight all the time, it really didn't take much to get him to blow his stack.

"Oh, and before Alice gets to you, I thought I should let you know; The next couple of days are going to be interesting. We have training tonight, hunting and scouting tomorrow and then we have final arrangements when we get back. By my calculations, you and Bella have the entire Cullen house to yourselves for a whole night before the battle." I said unabashedly. Even the family members inside the house laughed riotously. I was pretty sure that if Edward could blush, he would be fucking scarlet right now. Emmett fell out of his chair. Jasper doubled over clutching his sides and Carlisle gave up the facade all together and burst out laughing. I knew exactly what I was suggesting, but I didn't imagine it would embarrass him quite that much. I mean, yeah, it would piss him off but nothing like this. They so rarely got to spend any time together and no prying vampire senses could only be a bonus. Besides, he still had so many details to hammer out with her about the battle. Us on the field knew what we were doing now, right down to line formation, but he was still leaving her out of the loop on a lot of things.

I knew that they were going up the side of the mountain with a two man tent, a sleeping bag and a shit load of happy thoughts and wishes. The chances of the mutt and Edward fighting were slim. The chances of Bella injuring herself up the mountain were ridiculous and it was making me apprehensive at best. I really didn't like the family being separated or being one short for the fight, but Edward was stubbornly stuck on protecting Bella all by himself... like he had something to prove. Unfortunately, the happy fucking couple had made this decision without consulting the family and now wouldn't be budged. Fucking kids.

"Good, now twist out to the right...YES! Brilliant, Esme!" I applauded her as she dodged an attack from both Alice and Rosalie. My sisters were now lying flat on their back with Esme standing over them like a lioness with a migraine. Her face was glorious in her determination and focus. She looked like an angel of destruction and- to be honest with you- if she was, I would have happily watched her burn the world to ash. The training was going a lot easier tonight. Carlisle, Esme and Rosalie were towing the line now and were performing to the standard that myself and Jasper were expecting. Edward, despited his newly imposed 'benched' status, was watching everything. Learning and focusing and helping with maneuvers. The only problem we now had was Emmett. He was definitely the toughest nut to break.

Emmett still considered the whole thing a joke, never taking the fact that we had a horde of feral newborn vampires coming at us seriously until I broke him. After about an hour, I made it my sole purpose for the rest of the training session to destroy him. I took him aside to work with him on my own for a bit. I settled on kicking his arse- I mean training- him a lot over the next sixty minutes. I had ground him down, shoved him around and pissed him off so much that I think there may have been an audible snap inside his head when he finally lost control and lunged for me and meant it. On little glance at Rosalie with the same killer attitude that had worked for Carlisle and Esme was all it took. I didn't want to push it to that point, God knows I didn't. But if it was the only way that I could get him to do what was necessary, then so fucking be it. Jasper and Edward caught him mid-lunge and Carlisle helped pin him to the ground as he rode out his blood lust. I stayed back from him after that. I didn't come within sniffing distance of him until he settled back down and even THAT took forty-five minutes. Once it was safe, I took a couple of tentative steps forward and apologised. I was gripped in the strongest bear hug he could give and I thought he may have broke something after I was released again. My heart burst with pride at how well he and the rest of our family had done.

Scanning around our aforementioned family, myself and Jasper were seeping pride all over the place. He felt mines and it sort of overloaded his system or something because a good twenty feet radius around him was buzzing with it. The individual techniques of our family was fantastic. Their group co-operation was practically flawless and their mental attitude was improving with every passing second. We were ready. I wasn't sure the same could be said for the wolves. They had only send Jacob and two other wolves tonight and they stood at the far end of the clearing and away from the main training session. I had been too busy to notice before but as I moved to take a seat on a medium sized rock that jutted out of the flat grass, I saw Bella sitting on the ground and leaning into the Jacob-wolf's side and running her fingers through the fur on the back of his head and neck.

Edward's head snapped to my direction and then followed my gaze which was still trained on Bella. His defeated expression just about crippled me. He looked so hurt and lost that my heart just broke for him. I had the most incredible urge to run over, lift Bella off of the ground and shake some sense into her apparently thick head. Whether she knew it of not, she was stringing Jacob along and hurting him and Edward in the process. Her selfishness was impressive even by humanities standards. How did she not see what she was doing to them both? If she did know what she was doing, she would have set a precedent for cruelty.

"Kals, why the hell are you an emotional wreck right now? If it were possible, I would have whiplash." Jasper took a seat beside me, studying the sparring pairs that were scattered around us. I sighed, leaned to the side and resting a head on his shoulder.

"I was just thinking about some things that didn't make sense,"

"Did you find some clarity?"

"You, brother, of all people would know if I had," I teased, wrapping an arm around his waist in a kind of half hug. I let my eyes sweep across the clearing. "They are ready, Jazz."

"I don't think that they have anything more to learn. They know more than enough to get them through this." He said, grabbing my hand and pulling me vertical. "Alright, everyone. That's it." he called. The skirmishes around us stopped immediately and our family turned to us.

"You are all ready now," I said, taking a step forward. "Tomorrow we hunt and Friday, we fight." Emmett whooped, punching the air with his fist and earning groans and rolling eyes from everyone around him.

"Edward, we need to test the scents now," Jasper said. His brother nodded in agreement and waited for Bella to walk to him.

"Right, everyone else, let's go home." I suggested but making it clear that any other plan wasn't up for discussion. I turned on heel and motioned for the family to join me and was pleased that I heard them behind me as I flew through the forest and headed for home.

"Will they be alright?" Esme asked as we hopped the river, landing on the lawn.

"they will be fine, Esme," I assured her. "they are just making sure that Bella's scent can be masked."

"Do you think it will work?"

I couldn't help but laugh at that question. "Have you smelled the wolves? If that doesn't work, nothing will!"

"How's Bella this morning?" I asked Edward as he walked passed my room door to get to his own. He poked his head around the door frame and jerked his head towards his room in a motion that indicated I should follow him. I climbed out of the chair I had occupied all night, placing my copy of Tess of the D'Urbervilles that Carlisle had loaned me and I walked with him. Once we were inside his room, he closed the door and indicated for me to sit. Seeing as he had an uncharacteristic heap of shit on his sofa, it left the bed as the only option. I watched him as I perched myself on the edge of the quilted mattress and wondered why in the hell he was putting on thrash metal. Hmm... I never had him pegged as a Slayer fan.

"I'm not really," He said quietly, just loud enough to be heard by myself and no-one else. "I just find that it masks speech quite well."

Cryptic fucker. "I asked you a question," I pointed out, folding my arms across my chest.

"I know you did. Hold on a second," he replied, flitting over to his walk-in wardrobe and back again before I had time to properly register the movement. He was one fast fucking vampire. He sat in the middle of the bed, his legs crossed under him and I immediately copied his position, dropping my hands into my lap rather than have them hover aimlessly like Edward's did against the quilt.

"Will you answer me now?" I asked, watching him as he fidgeted. Something was seriously wrong. Vampires DO NOT fidget.

"Sorry," He mumbled, glancing at something that was sitting in his hand. "Kali, I am nervous."

"About what?" I asked, really starting to panic.

"Can I show you?" he asked, turning something small and black in his hands over and over. I held out my hand and he placed the black velvet box into it. It was a ring box...

"Oh, Edward! Of course I will!" I teased, just about managing to get the sentence out before dissolving into a shuddering, giggling mess. Edward chuckled at my reaction, but didn't appear to be phased my it. The boy was learning. "May I?" I asked, gliding my thumb over the lid of the box once I had regained some composure. I waited almost impatiently until he nodded. This was his thing and we would talk about it at his speed. When he FINALLY gave me the go ahead, I pinched it on either side and opened the hinges on the box.

The ring was nothing short of stunning. Rarely was I at a total loss for words, but this piece of art managed it. I think my brain even went silent. The delicate weave diamonds was supported on a web of pure yellow gold. The band itself was thin and smooth. The precious stones glistened in the dull, diffused light. With the enhanced sight that I- all too often- took for granted, I could see the colour, cut and clarity of each of the diamonds and was blown away. The piece was truly priceless.

"Edward, it is beautiful. An antique?"

"It was my mother's," He said, smiling slightly.

"Esme's?"

"No... MY mother's,"

"Bella will love it." I stated, knowing for a fact that it would scare the shit out of her before she had a chance to appreciate it.

"How did you know who it was for?" He asked.

"Well, it IS an engagement ring, Edward. And as much as I love you, you haven't even taken me out to dinner yet."

His chuckle turned into a full blown guffaw as he threw his head back and belly laughed. It made my insides warm and fuzzy seeing him like this. He was always so controlled and reserved and it felt like a true blessing to see him exhibit any sort of real emotion. Whether it be happiness, anger, hurt, love or hate- They were all precious and I was so proud of the fact that he trusted me enough to share them with me. Every laugh, growl, sob and moment of levity was a privilege.

"Are you asking her to marry you, Edward?" I focused my gaze on him. He looked nervous as hell now.

"Yes," He whispered, his eyes trained onto his long fingers that were folded together and resting on his lap.

"I'm happy for you, Brother. I really am." I reached across the space between us and took his hand in my free one. "Look at me, Edward. I'm not talking to the top of your head- It doesn't have ears." I placed the ring box on the bed beside him and put my hands on either side of his face, pushing his head up and forcing him to look into my eyes. "Why are you so nervous?"

"What if she says 'no'?" He murmured, barely audible over the sound of Kerry King hitting another killer Slayer solo.

"Then she would be a Class-A idiot." His responding growl made my shoulders shrug and my eyes roll. "Oh for fuck sake, Edward! I love that girl and I would kill most of the known world to protect her, but if she doesn't allow you to put that stunning work or art onto her finger, she would be a stone-wall fool!"

"you seem so certain..."

"Edward, she will fight you on this. She will moan and complain about how being eighteen makes her too young and 'What will people say?'. She will make you feel like an old fucking codger who should be thinking about the Sunday crossword and not weddings and honeymoons. It's your job to be honest with her, love her and make her as happy as you possibly can. No more bubble wrap, no more hesitancy. Just you and her against the world."

"Thank you, Kali," He whispered and it is suck a reverent decree that it makes my insides go to mush and I have to physically fight the urge to ruffle his hair and say 'Awwwww'.

"What are you wearing tonight?" I asked, launching myself off of the bed. He looked down at his jeans and long sleeved white top and shrugged his shoulders. Alice screeched from somewhere downstairs, causing both of us to flinch. "I got it, Alice," I called, dragging Edward to his closet. "Are you trying to give her a heart attack? You were going to propose to my little sister in the clothes you have laid around in since you left her? I don't fucking think so."

"You sound like Alice," He grumbled, watching as I raked through his closet like a tornado.

"Yeah, and for once, I agree with her. You should be dressed more appropriately." I slid shirts backwards and forwards until something shouted 'Marry Me Bella!'. Simple, black dress trousers and the sexiest pale blue shirt he had in here.

"Is this going to take long?" He moaned. God, he sounded like Bella when he did that.

"Here, you are to wear these tonight," I tossed the clothes at him which he grabbed in mid air and threw them onto his bed in defeat. "Don't wear shoes or socks. You will look more comfortable barefoot and wear your leather cuff. Every time Bella looks at it, her heart dances a tango."

"I take it back," Edward said, stepping away from me like I was a ticking time-bomb. "When you get going, you are worse than Alice." He retrieved the ring box from the bed so it wasn't lost in the chaos.

"You ain't seen nothing yet, kid," I teased, walking to him and giving him a squeeze around the middle. His arms wrapped around my shoulders and pressed me against him in that special, 'I'm your big brother' way.

"Kali, if I haven't said it already, I'm really glad you chose to stay with us."

"Good, because you guys are stuck with me. You ain't getting rid of me, ever."

"I sincerely hope so..."

Author Note- There ya have it folks, chapter 24! The next one is called scouts of war. Everyone begins their battle preparations.

Thanks again to Content1. There just arent words...

Thanks to those who read and review them. Each little message makes me want to hi-five people.

Kalika87 (Amanda)