You May Hate Charade, But You Still Play The Game

Chapter Two: If Anyone Goes On The Critical List, Let Me Know

Summary: Post-season 3 finale. This isn't actually how I think it will go, just a possibility I'm attempting to explore. Blair is trying to get over Chuck in Paris, while Chuck is finding it too easy to get over Blair in Prague.

Author's Note: I know that no one wants to read about Chuck and some girl who is not Blair, haha, so I'll try to make it as minimal as possible. And I promise you'll get some CB out of the chapters, even if they aren't interacting at first.
Disclaimer: I keep tweeting Josh Schwartz about it, but he still won't give me the rights to Gossip Girl. Balls.

Charles woke up in a cold sweat, nearly gasping as he tried to erase the dreams that haunted him every night. Dreams of a beautiful girl being carried away by mysterious men in suits – he couldn't recall anything other than her long, dark hair and her scent but he knew she was beautiful. She would scream for him as she was taken, and he was never able to do a thing to stop it. Sometimes he would yell and throw punches, but get knocked out. Those were the better dreams. Other times, though, he would just stand there and do nothing.

He knew it was just a nightmare, but he worried it was a memory. One more thing to add to the pile of reasons he didn't ever want to find out who he was. Yeah, it's wrong to lie to a hospital and pretend not to have amnesia. But he'd rather be orphaned, friendless Charles Baker than whoever it was that got shot in the red light district of Prague (probably for some fucking drug deal gone bad, or maybe someone's pimp got pissed off) and had absolutely no one worrying about him. At least Charles Baker had Eva.

Eva. He felt guilty once more when he thought of her. Over the last few months, she had updated from his nurse to a kind of girlfriend, and he really respected her and was grateful to her for everything she had done. Which was why he hated having these dreams – because, as focused as he was on the screaming and possible torment the girl in the dream was suffering, he was much more focused on how he was losing her. Charles didn't know anything about relationships, but it sort of felt like cheating. Maybe he would take her out somewhere nice today to make up for it.

Or maybe you could tell her the truth, the traitorous voice in his head suggested. After all, she was the one who had helped nurse him back to life. If anyone deserved to know that his entire new life was a lie, it was certainly Eva. He got himself up and started dressing for work, a job as financier for Safran in Paris. Turns out he was good with money, even if he had none after getting mugged and losing his identity. Who knew? So Eva had used some of her family connections to get him a position with a respected company in France. It had obviously been her hope to move back home sooner rather than later, and he was glad to accommodate her.

Now he lived in Palaiseau and took the train into Paris every morning, then he would pick Eva up from her shift at Pitié-Salpêtrière and go somewhere nice for dinner. It was a comfortable routine and one he was happy to follow, even if he couldn't always ignore the nagging tug inside him – that obnoxious part of him that desperately wanted to know where he came from, who his family was, and most importantly, who that girl was and why he had lost her.

Blair and Serena had spent the last week practically holed up in Harold's château, waiting for more news from someone about Chuck's disappearance. Blair checked Gossip Girl every hour, always expecting him to magically reappear out of the depths of some bordello, but the sneaky bitch refused to answer her prayers. The last time he had even shown up was when he had been in Prague right after their latest fallout. Blair had rolled her eyes when she'd seen the picture, cursing his stupid drunken face. She didn't want that to be the last picture she saw of him.

She felt a tear trickle down her cheek when she thought about their last encounter. This night never happened, she had said, and now she wished more fervently than ever before that it really hadn't. Why did he have to be so stupid? Why did she even agree to meet him? She would be much happier if she hadn't, and he would at least be drowning his sorrows in New York hookers. If she had just made it to the Empire State Building on time, then Jenny would never have happened, and she and Chuck would be together right now. But would that make you happy? She still didn't know if she could trust him, she had just been willing herself to believe she could. And now she had to believe he was out there somewhere, purposely punishing her for dumping him and biding his time before definitively proving his trustworthiness once and for all.

"Nate, what are you doing here?" Serena's sharp exclamation broke through Blair's thoughts, causing her to jump up suddenly and prepare herself for possible news.

Nate had just stumbled into the living room where Blair was residing, ignoring Serena's question and looking around wildly as she trailed behind him.

"Blair!" He slurred angrily, pointing his finger with such venom that it actually worried her.

"What's wrong?" Blair asked with a sharp intake of breath. She didn't think she could handle whatever news had upset her old friend so much.

"You're drunk," Serena accused, before letting him answer the question. "I want you to think about what you're saying."

Blair turned to glare at her best friend. "What do you know, S? Are you hiding something from me?"

Serena blanched, but didn't know how to answer the question. Her mother informed her that Nate had disappeared to Prague, but she didn't know what had come of his trip. Based on his demeanor and the amount of alcohol he had obviously consumed, however, she couldn't imagine he had any particularly good news.

"Like you even care," Nate spewed bitterly, looking around the room in disgust. "I don't even know why I'm here."

"Nate Archibald," Blair said his name like a school teacher might say the name of the town bully. "You tell me what the hell is going on right now. If you know something about Chuck –"

"Don't say his name!" Nate suddenly yelled, shocking Blair into silence and making Serena cover her mouth from fear. "This is all your fault, anyway," he muttered under his breath, not particularly caring if she heard but not having the strength to fight about it.

Blair found herself unable to speak, but Serena did it for her.

"How dare you?" Serena screeched, slapping Nate hard across the face.

He stared at her with bleary eyes for the longest second ever before seemingly deciding she wasn't worth his time and turning his attention back to Blair. "He was fine, Blair. Maybe he was always a little fucked up, but he was doing fine until you came along."

Blair felt tears prickle at the corners of her eyes, silently begging him to stop. She didn't do anything to make him stop, though, because part of her thought it might feel good to hear it from someone else.

"If he had never loved you, he would be home right now," he continued against his own will. Watching Blair's face crumble made him want to shut up, but he had to say it. Here were the two only people he loved other than Chuck, and he hated them more than anyone in the world right now. Someone had to pay for what happened to Chuck, and he didn't want to think about how it should be Nate himself. "Why did you have to pull him into your fucking fantasy, B? He was never going to live up to what you wanted! He's Chuck Bass, damnit!"

"SHUT UP!" Serena pushed Nate onto the couch, and pulled the weeping Blair into a strong embrace. "Don't listen to him, B. He doesn't know what he's saying."

Blair's choked sobs grew louder, imagining the reasons why Nate might be spewing so much bile. She heard the sound of Nate's own tears mingled with hers and felt the need to comfort him instead.

"I'm sorry," Nate whispered brokenly from his spot on the couch. "I'm so sorry. He's… He's my best friend. And I never made that clear."

Serena and Blair broke apart and both went over to Nate simultaneously. He thought about shrugging Serena off momentarily, but he knew he shouldn't. No matter who broke up with whom or who disappeared where, they were all he had.

"Just tell us what happened, Natie," Serena whispered, using his childhood nickname almost unconsciously. She felt him wince at her light touch and was thankful that he let her hand stay on his shoulder. "We know you went to Prague last week. What did you find out?"

Nate took a deep breath, unsure where to begin. "The police caught two muggers trying to pawn a Harry Winston engagement ring," he finally explained slowly. The confusion on both his friends' faces were enough to make him want to give up right there. He didn't want to have to be the one to spell it out for Blair. "The ring was purchased in early May… and registered to Chuck Bass."

Dinner with Eva was quiet that night, and he felt like she was watching him with suspicion the entire time. He had noticed her subtle reaction upon finding out at which restaurant he had chosen to dine, and he wondered if she was dissatisfied. He told himself he was just starting out and didn't want to spend all his money before he made any, but he knew that he specifically chose lesser-known places simply because he was always afraid he would be recognized. Not that he thought he was some super famous movie star, mind you, but … just in case. He had obviously been well traveled, and who knows where he had gone?

"Are you okay?" Charles asked kindly. "Do you not like the food? We can go to Le Meurice tomorrow, if you want."

Eva looked up from her dish and contemplated him for a moment in silence. Just as he was thinking things couldn't get anymore uncomfortable, she finally spoke. "Who is Blair?" She questioned, barely keeping the edge out of her voice.

He nearly choked on his food. "Excuse me?" He had no idea where she could have heard that name. He had no idea where he could have even heard that name. Why did it sound familiar?

"Last night," she replied calmly. "You say it while you are sleeping. You have a bad dream again?"

"…Yeah, I did," he admitted, surprised she even knew about them in the first place. Maybe he should be subtler when sleeping.

"You are not Charles Baker, yes?" She continued in a clipped tone, her eyes boring right through him.

He shook his head slightly, feeling more ashamed by the second. "How did you know?"

She smiled that warm smile from the first day they met. "Sometimes I ask you same question about your past, but I get different answers."

He chuckled a little at that. Foiled by his own stupidity, like some kind of cartoon villain. He probably should have kept a log of his fake life. "I'm sorry I lied to you, Eva. I completely understand if you feel betrayed, or if you want to..."

She put her hand up to stop him. "You tell lies, yes, but you are a nice boy."

He nodded at her assessment, genuinely pleased at being considered nice.

"So, who is Blair?"

He stared at her openly, suddenly finding himself at an interesting crossroads. He could tell yet another lie, feel even worse about himself, and even up getting caught eventually, or he could just ask for help. Something told him that he would regret his next action.

"I don't know who she is," he admitted dejectedly. "I don't even know who I am. I'm not sure I want to know."

"She is a part of who you are," Eva reminded him. "Everyone wants to know answer to who they are, yes? Now you will find out."