I still don't own Star Wars ;)

Bonding

Several days passed in the very agreeable order of Obi-Wan helping Asajj behind the scenes and then the two of them shocking the people with their skill in sparring. They would spend the evenings enjoying the coolness and speaking of their lives. Asajj opened up to him about her life before she joined Dooku, and Obi-Wan told her stories of his life before Anakin. Asajj was very interested in Melida/Daan.

"You left the order? You? They should have seen something was wrong then."

"I was only a padawan then and my decision was questionable. Yes, I brought peace but I disrupted the path the force had for me."

"Stopping to give compassion was a disruption?"

Obi-Wan saw the error he had made. She was comparing his staying on Media/Daan to her master staying here.

"Compassion is never wrong, Asajj, but you said it yourself before our first walk: I can't help everyone. Staying on Melida/Daan almost kept me from the learning the skills I needed to be the most effective at helping who I can."

She simmered down and looked away from him with a frown. Then she looked at him with as close to soft a look as he had ever seen in her.

"You are compassionate: the most compassionate Jedi I have ever met. I think after Melida/Daan you became more selective in how you show your compassion."

"I couldn't let anything else risk my commitment to the order."

"The order confuses me. You confuse me. At times both seem as compassionate as you should be, but at others you seem like you are missing the point. Your master should have seen how much you cared and done something about it."

"What?"

"Something that helped the planet…and didn't result in causing you pain. You are one of the greatest of their order. They almost lost that potential due to their stubbornness."

"How about my stubbornness? If my use of the ship had failed Master and Tahl would have been stranded there. Plus, I ignored an order. That can't be overlooked. The order and I have compassion, but we have to use it responsibly Asajj."

Asajj nodded reluctantly her eyes filled with conflicting emotions. Obi-Wan could tell she had become fond of him, and he was of her, but that such a deep emotion left her vulnerable. Which couldn't be an easy or pleasant state of mind.

"Tell me more," she ordered him. He smiled and complied. More days passed until he reached what was still -despite knowing Qui-Gon was in the force- one of the most painful moments in his story.

"The Sith killed him and I almost lost myself to darkness. I was off balance and nearly lost my life because of it. Finally, I regained my connection to the force and killed Maul."

Asajj looked away from him. Something was churning in her and it worried him.

"Asajj?"

"How did you do it? How did you keep the darkness from taking you? How could I have thought you were weak?"

He took one of her hands in his. He spoke gently.

"It wasn't easy, but I remembered that Qui-Gon would not want me to be in darkness. That loving someone means respecting what they love as well- what I care about as well."

"Being selfless. How like you."

"It is simply the right path."

"If it was simple I could have done it and your order would have lifted the ban on attachment a long time ago. Speaking of attachment, how did you get tasked with training Skywalker?"

Obi-Wan sighed. He really hoped she would accept the edited version.

"Qui-Gon asked it of me before he died."

Oh no. He knew those eyes. She wasn't going for it.

"He was dying and he placed that on you? Did he say anything of how you had shown him love and loyalty as a son?"

"There was no time."

Asajj's response to that gave Obi-Wan exposure to what undoubtedly had to be Rattatak curse words even if Obi-Wan didn't know their meaning.

"You deserved better."

"Everything turned out alright. Before he died, Qui-Gon had been reading ancient knowledge and found a way to appear to me and the Council a few months ago."

"What could be so pressing as to call him back?"

She was showing a discomforting ability to pick up on what he'd rather leave unsaid this evening. In fact, she had been doing that throughout his story. When he had spoken of Siri she hadn't said anything, but had just given him a compassionate look.

"There was some disagreement over what was responsible for Anakin's near fall."

Again, his usual ability with words was not keeping away what he'd rather leave unsaid.

"You blamed yourself didn't you? Obi-Wan you were an idiot. So your master came to give you some of the attention he should have long ago? Perhaps he has some sense."

"You shouldn't be too hard on him. He let me think you were dead. If I knew you were alive I would have thought you wouldn't wish my presence."

She frowned.

"I suppose I will leave him alone then."

"I'm sure he wouldn't want you as an enemy."

He enjoyed their banter. It gave him a lightness he felt he needed when speaking of things, some of them he had barely dealt with, which were not pleasant to put it lightly. The only problem was perplexing. Instead of it getting easier for him to leave out the nicknames it was getting harder. What is going on? Something about her makes using them feel so natural even unavoidable. He felt a reckless impulse to call her one and blinked. Me? Reckless? I haven't been reckless since I was a padawan- or that time I dragged Anakin off to look for Asajj when I knew she wasn't dead. I wonder, if I had only heard about the events at Boz Pity instead of being there, if I would have had hope she was still alive? Wanted to look for her once more?

Just what made me even know she wasn't dead in the first time? Only a bond could cause such certainty. I brushed it off as the odd one formed by how often we fought, and had the same excuse for the nicknames. Was that really it?

I need to meditate. I am becoming unsettled and that is not acceptable.

"What are you thinking?"

"Only Jedi woolgathering. I had best to get to bed to prepare for another diverting morning of dealing with bureaucracy and the far more pleasant activity of sparring with you."

She didn't look entirely convinced but she let him go. He reflected it was the first time he had retreated from a confrontation with her.