Chapter Eight

The One in Denial

Everyone knew they were in a relationship, why do they have to flaunt it? We get it. You're extremely happy! Jeez. I knew Sirius couldn't have liked me that much, he was already sleeping with my best friend. So he didn't like me? Or maybe he was just trying to get to her by telling me that he liked me? I dunno, but Sirius is a jerk. I looked over at Sirius and Kate again, oh god. He still had his tongue down her throat. Get a room idiot. Seriously.

"Can you guys stop?" James snapped, "You're making me and everyone else on the table sick."

James had taken Sirius' and Kate's "relationship" pretty well, considering the fact they were always making out. I asked James if this had bothered him – he merely shrugged. I could see James cracking now – maybe it was the fact that he and Lily were not making out?

"Sorry," Sirius apologised, breaking away from Kate. They both had huge grins on their faces.

He wasn't sorry. Stupid liar. Stupid jerk. WHY THE HELL DID I LIKE HIM? Because he's Sirius. Yeah. Great reasoning. Well I decided, I don't like him anymore. Starting now.

"Hayley!" I heard Sheldon cry, "OH MY GOD! GUESS WHAT?"

I groaned, I put down my fork, and got up, "What?" I said, putting on a smile. He grabbed me and swung me around, he put me down and kissed me several times on the lips, cheek, lips and lips.

"I got in! I got in!" He squealed, flapping around a piece of parchment, "Can you believe it?"

"No way! Really?" I exclaimed, "Wow, that's amazing, I'm so proud of you!" I gave him a light kiss on the lips.

I grinned at me, "Well, I'm gonna let the rest of the team know, I'll see you in class." And he ran off. I sat back down, and continued eating my lunch.

"Are you going to tell us what that was about?" James quirked, after a while, "Or make us guess?"

I smiled, "Oh, he got into tryouts for the Waspers."

"You mean the Wasps?" Sirius grinned at me. I ignored him. Just like James dreamed of becoming an Auror, Sheldon dreamed of becoming a star Quidditch player. He had gone on and on about his application for tryouts for days now. I was glad he would now shut up about it. I mean, I was happy for him, extremely, but I'm in love with Sirius. Wait, no, scratch that, I'm extremely happy for him. That's all.

"He's going to get no where in life," James smirked, "I'm telling you he's no good for you."

"Who would you rather I go out with?" I asked him.

"Errr… Sirius! He's a fine young man! And he wants to be an auror," James said casually.

"Really?" Sirius asked, he let go of Kate.

"Well… no, not really," James laughed, "I was just saying – so no."

"What if I still did?" Sirius pressed, eyeing me. I ignored him and went back to my spaghetti. James didn't say anything. I looked up at him to see him giving Sirius a death stare. Enough said.

We headed off the Herbology after a while. Sheldon met me at the front of the greenhouse; he still had a grin on his face.

"Hey," he said, as I walked up to him, "You know what? Getting this place for the tryouts made me realise something – I love you."

Really? Oh god. WE'VE ONLY BEEN GOING OUT FOR TWO WEEKS! This was going to end badly, I could tell.

"Oh… that's nice," I said, trying to force a smile, "Thanks."

"What? That's it?" he snapped, "No I love you too back?"

"I'm just not ready," I shrugged; I eyed Sirius who was standing over by the other greenhouse.

"Not ready or you like Black?" he asked.

Oh great.

"No!" I snapped, I was starting to get annoyed, which was very unlike me. It would take a couple of hours of accusing me of something to get me annoyed, "Look, I can't take all this crap about me liking other people, I've had enough, it's over."

"No, wait!" Sheldon said, grabbing my arm, "I'm sorry, " I shook my arm out of his grasp, and walked over to James, "Hayley, wait! Don't be silly!" I ignored him.

"Is there a problem?" James asked him, as he kept tugging at arm, "I think you better go."

Sheldon ignored him, "Hayley, don't be silly, you know I was just checking – please?"

"Leave me alone," I snapped at him.

"Sheldon, just go," Remus said calmly to him.

"Fine!" Sheldon shrugged, "FINE!" he yelled at me, he reminded me of a ten year old James when he didn't get the flavour of ice-cream he wanted, "If that's how you wanna play it, FINE!" He let go of my arm and pushed me into Sirius. James grabbed him by the collar and pushed him against the greenhouse door.

"James just leave him," I said, "Sprout is coming, James!" I tried to wedge myself between James and Sheldon. James gave Sheldon a death stare and released him roughly, making him fall to the ground, "James!" I went to help Sheldon up, when James grabbed me by the upper arm and pulled me away.

"I told you not to got with crazy people like Monk," James snapped at me as we walked into the greenhouse, "He tried to kill you."

"James," I retorted, "You tried to kill him, he didn't do anything – it was more my fault, I broke up with him."

"He nearly killed you when he pushed you into Sirius," Remus said from behind us, mocking James' tone, "Oh the horror."

"You want me to take points off?" James growled at Remus.

"You're not going to take points of Gryffindor," Remus laughed. I looked over at Sirius, he talking intently to Kate about something.

James turned back around to face me, "He tried to murder you!"

I laughed, "James, he shoved me."

"Why did you break up anyway?" Sirius said leaning over to me.

"That's none of your business," I snapped at him.

"But I love you," Sirius whispered, only loud enough for me to hear.

"Oh, shut-up Sirius," I spat at him, turned back around to James, "No! James!" I watched as James hurled a pot full of soil at Sheldon. Sheldon ducked the pot but the soil came tumbling out of the out landing all over him and students around him.

"POTTER!" Madam Sprout yelled as James' smiled feebly.

And that was my Friday: Breaking up with Sheldon, and James constantly trying to bump into him or hit him. I knew he was right. I did like Sirius. No. I was in love with him. But James had made it clear; again, at dinner he's feelings about me and Sirius getting together.

"Why do two keep sniping at each other?" James said looking up from his steak.

"Nothing," I shrugged, "Can't we talk?" I turned back to Sirius and stepping on his foot hard.

"Still doesn't hurt," he muttered, as his eyes wandered up my skirt.

"Eh… Padfoot?" Remus said, "Why are you rubbing your foot against my leg?"

I tried not to grin, as Sirius turned beet red and removed his hand from my thigh. He apologized to Remus and continued to eat his dinner.

"There's a true rumour going around that Sirius kissed you," James hissed to me. I saw Kate's eyes pop wide.

"It's not true, that's why it's called a rumour," I hissed back at him, I felt Sirius' shift around a bit, probably checking for his wand.

"Yeah we did," Sirius sighed, slinging his arm around me, "What are you going to Potter?"

"Well… I – I well…" James stuttered he was turning just as red as Sirius had turned a few minutes ago, James lunged across the table trying to grab Sirius. The food on the table between James and Sirius splattered everywhere.

"James!" Remus and I yelled at the same time. Remus managed to pull James of Sirius as I tried to protect Sirius. I didn't know why, I should have let him got what he deserved.

"He was joking!" I yelled at my brother.

"That wasn't funny!" James roared at Sirius, "I'll take you off the quidditch team, if you ever do anything like that!"

"Oh, please," Sirius said in a girly manner, "I'm your best player, you wouldn't knock me off the team even if I knocked her up." Sirius said nudging me.

James' hazel eyes narrowed at Sirius, "Don't touch her." James snarled. He magiced the food of his shirt. I excused myself from the table and left.

I found another reason me and Sirius could be together. It would put a strain on James' and his friendship. We weren't even together and I could see how James would react. I couldn't get in the way of their friendship. I couldn't. So there, my three ironclad reasons I couldn't be with Sirius; he'd break my heart, James and James.

I was walking back from the library when Sirius finally caught up with me. The halls were deserted and there was nowhere to make a detour. He had finally cornered me.

"Hayley! Wait!" he called behind me. I turned around to face him, he would catch up to me anyway, "Hey."

"Hey," I said moving back as he stepped closer to me. I finally hit the wall, he pressed up against me. I could feel my cheeks turn red, I tried to sound casual, "What's up?" It came out as a whisper.

"I talked to James," Sirius said, his hands rested on my hips, "He's okay with it."

I stared at him. I was shocked. James? Say it was okay? Yeah right.

"No he didn't," I said, finding my voice again.

"Okay, fine I didn't talk to him," he grinned, "How did you guess?"

"You don't have any bruises," I smiled. He laughed. I could feel his heart beat against my chest, I sighed.

"I miss you," he said. He brought up his hand and gently stroked my cheek.

"Me too," I mumbled. What was I doing? I should just kick him and make a run for it. I tried. But my legs just wouldn't move.

"I don't understand your way of thinking," He said, "I know you like me – but you deny it."

"Sirius, I can't do this, please," I said, I tried to push him away, he would budge, "You're with Kate."

"I'll break it off," He said indifferently, "I don't love her, only you," he added in a much softer voice.

"What if we start going out and you break it of with me… after a day?" I asked said.

"I love you too much," he said. Yeah right. Such cheesy lines. But still, I was at loss of words.

"I just can't," I said, I could feel his heart sinking.

"I love you," he said. I didn't respond, afraid of what I might say, "Do you love me?" He looked me straight in the eye. Didn't blink.

I took a deep breath, I had to do this. I couldn't be selfish, he was James' best friend, this would tear them apart, I knew James and I knew Sirius. But I did love him. I was selfish. But I couldn't. I would break my own heart, I wouldn't give him a chance, "No." I didn't think he even heard me. He pushed away from me about to say something – I couldn't risk giving him the chance. I ran. I knew he wouldn't follow. I knew Sirius.

A/N: Another chapter for you. Just think of these as belated Christmas presents

Let me know of any errors/typos

Almost new year, and yes I know, I have no life – I'm sitting here updating a fanfic two hours away from midnight – so happy almost new year's my lovely readers/reviewers

Thanks muchly for reading