Author's note: We are maybe almost sorta 1/4 of the way through this story! Yes, that's right! This tale will be roughly 20 chapters, give or take. So, there you go. In case any of you were wondering.

Disclaimer: Nope. We don't own anything that could possibly be owned by someone else. Seriously.

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Chapter 5: Fractions Suck

A few days after the disastrous rescue attempt of Alpha Team, Evie and Marie were once again circled around a campfire, this time joined by only two others, Jedi and Sketchers. They all ate in silence, lost in their own thoughts. Jedi and Sketchers were still infuriated at how Dingo had behaved, disgusted that they had thought of him as one of their own.

Marie and Evie sulked, moping at the loss of the Alpha team. For once, Marie simply poked at her food, unable or unwilling to eat any more. Evie was also poking at the small amount of trail mix on her plate. The rest of her food had been eaten, but the package before her had FAR too many nuts in it for her liking.

Sighing, Evie dumped the partially eaten package onto Marie's full plate before turning back to stare at the flames before her. She started as she felt something small and hard bonk against the side of her head. Turning back to her partner, Evie almost wanted to make a run for it to get away from the dangerous look on Marie's face.

Marie had been in a terrible mood in the days following the death of Chatter. "Evie. Does it LOOK like I'm eating anything? Eat your own fucking food. I don't want it."

Evie held up her hands, inching away. "I'm sorry, Marie. Usually you love the trail mix. Look, see? Even has almonds. You like almonds! And cashews!"

Marie looked back down at her plate, arranging the food in random designs, mumbling darkly to herself. Shaking her head, Evie settled once more, sighing. Marie was getting worse and worse. She wasn't sure how much longer Marie had with what was left of her sanity.

Raucous banging came from inside Goners. "HEY! YOU ASSHOLES! DON'T I GET ANYTHING TO EAT? I'M STARVING!"

Evie winced as Marie turned that psychotic gaze on where the noise was coming from. Before Marie could stand, Jedi was at the van doors, opening them and glaring inside. "Shut. Up. We gave you food this morning, creep. Be thankful we didn't leave you like this for the Xenos to find."

Dingo was bound, hand and foot, in the back of Goners. He had been banging his head against the doors and he had the lump on his forehead to prove it. Dingo scowled. "I don't know why you're doing this to me, Jedi. You were always a good guy. Come on, I'm your friend!"

The taller man glared down at his bound former group mate. "You don't even know what that word means, Dingo. You were going to LEAVE US to DIE. Doesn't sound very friendly, does it?"

Smiling, Dingo tried once more. "Aw, Jedi! That's not true! I was just making sure none of those Xenos spoiled our ride, you know? Those chicks just blew it out of proportion. Girls are always real high strung, you know?"

Jedi shot a look over his shoulder as Marie began stalking towards the van, the same serrated knife she had threatened to gut Dingo with gleaming in the fire light. Dingo couldn't see the approaching doom, but Jedi slammed the van doors in his face, leaving the traitor with a final warning. "Make any more noise, and we WILL leave you for the aliens."

Jedi spun, blocking Marie, while smiling. "Hey, there, Padawan! You feeling all right? Don't worry about that idiot, we'll be rid of him soon. I'm sure we'll run into a caravan here soon to dump him off with. They always like an extra hand."

Marie just glared up at him. "I am SICK of that hoboface messing up my car. I am GOING TO KILL HIM. Please move."

Gently, Jedi placed his hands on her shoulders, turning her about. "Now, now, that's not the way to go, girly. We've lost enough humans as it is."

"Then we won't miss one more, will we?"

Sighing, Jedi carefully ushered her back to the campfire. "Tell you what, why don't you take first watch with Evie? You two only need to do your watch, then Sketchers and I will cover both of ours and Evie's. You both don't get nearly enough sleep. Okay?"

Marie nodded, knowing she'd need Evie nearby to keep from going and killing the idiot in her Goners. Once she was asleep, she wouldn't be so angry. That's when all her family came.

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It was early in the morning, before the sun had risen. Sketchers went to take over watch from Jedi, who strode to the van. He peeked in the windows, checking on the girls and the prisoner. To both his relief AND disappointment, Dingo was still among the living.

Marie slept curled next to Evie, clutching at the taller girl, while Marie shook, caught in the throes of a hellish looking nightmare. Evie slept soundly, one arm draped over Marie, clearly suffering from no awful dreams.

Dingo slept curled in a corner of the van, still bound. No one could convince Marie to allow him even the slightest bit of movement. Her only concessions were when Dingo "had to go". Jedi and Sketchers took turns guarding him then.

He turned away and went to his roll, letting out a groan as he relaxed into the soothing warmth of the sleeping bag. Rolling to his side, he sighed and pulled his hair out of its ponytail and let his eyes fall shut. He had been almost asleep when a hand shook him awake. Jedi looked up, blinking at Sketchers. "This had better be good, Sketch. I am in sore need of some shut eye."

Sketchers nodded. "Spotted the remnants of the horde. Still a bitch ton of them. Heading our way. We need to get out of here."

Standing, Jedi put his hair back up and began packing his things as Sketchers did the same. Looking at the van, Jedi decided that the girls could sleep a little bit longer before he needed to wake them. He finished packing quickly, throwing it on his back and grabbing his gun, when ominous shrieks resounded in the woods around them.

"GIRLS! WAKE UP! WE'RE IN BIG TROUBLE!" Jedi shouted, throwing a rock at the van doors, before firing into a Xeno that charged at him. Sketchers was also battling an alien when Evie and Marie emerged.

Marie looked rumpled and sleepy, which was a bad combination with the Hand Cannon currently clutched against her chest. "Waz going on? S'no time for any crazy parties. No time to sleep off the hang over."

Evie was slightly more awake, already taking shots at the arriving aliens. "Jedi! Hurry over here! We can still get out of here in time! Marie, get to the driver's seat!"

Marie obeyed, scuttling through the van and into her seat and gunned the engine to life, startling both humans and aliens. The Xenomorphs began charging for Goners and Dingo screamed, terrified. "GET ME OUTTA THESE ROPES! Oh, god, PLEASE! Don't let them get me! At least let me shoot myself!"

Evie ignored him, trying to keep the way clear for Jedi and Sketchers to get to the van. But it was already too late. The clearing was beginning to swarm with the beasts. Jedi and Sketchers stood back to back, slowly retreating towards the woods. Jedi looked up, yelling over the screams of the monsters. "GO! YOU HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!"

Evie yelled back. "YOU'RE CRAZIER THAN MARIE! WE'VE ALREADY LOST GOOD GUYS TO THESE THINGS, WE CAN'T LOSE YOU TWO!"

Scowling, Jedi went with a new tactic. "IF YOU TWO DON'T GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, I WILL SHOOT MYSELF! THEN SKETCHERS!"

Sketchers blinked. "Wait, what? Why can't I shoot YOU first?"

Evie stomped her foot, which made Marie yelp in dismay. "FINE! YOU STUPID BASTARDS! IF YOU DIE, I'LL MAKE MARIE KILL YOU!"

A voice came from the front seat. "DON'T TALK ABOUT ME LIKE I'M NOT HERE! I CAN HEAR YOU!"

"JUST GO ALREADY! WE'LL FIND YOU!" Jedi screamed, before running after Sketchers into the gloom of the foliage. Marie had already slammed on the gas and Evie slammed the van doors shut before taking her seat in the front.

Dingo, once more, ruined the moment. "You bitches gonna untie me, or what?"

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Evie peered through the binoculars, scanning the surrounding area. Ducking back into the sun roof, she shrugged at Marie. "I don't see anything. I guess we lost them."

Marie shook her head. "Those things don't lose scents, or whatever it is they follow. No… They're planning something, the rat bastards."

Marie continued scanning the area and Evie sighed as Dingo yelled at them from the back once more. He was getting tiring. Evie almost wished she had let Marie kill him.

Marie gently hit the gas pedal and moved the van forward cautiously, waiting for attack. She aimed them for a nearby hill, wanting more of a vantage point. "Always go for higher ground. That's what Mitch always said. He knew those things."

Evie nodded, letting Marie temporarily lose herself in old memories. Marie's boyfriend WOULD have known that. Military people tended to. Leaving Marie to whisper happily to herself, Evie gritted her teeth as Dingo spoke again.

"Hey! Women! I need to take a piss! Pull this hunk of metal over! Hey!"

"SHUT UP! We'll pull over already! JUST SHUT UP!" Evie screeched, patience long gone, spent on dealing with Marie's antics. Dealing with the almost-but-not-quite-insane took a lot of effort. Marie blinked, coming out of her memory induced trance, quirking her head at her partner.

"Evie? Bist du okay?"

Evie sighed once more, wishing more than ever that the damned apocalypse had never happened. Dealing with her mother had been easier than this. "Ja. Ich bin okay. Just pull the van over, aight? I'm tired of listening to him bitching."

Marie frowned. "But, I don't trust him."

"Neither do I, but it's let him out or let him do his business all over the back."

Marie made a horribly disgusted face. "Not in MY Goners! We SLEEP back there!"

"Exactly. So, stop the car."

Marie complied, putting the machine in park and turning it off before climbing out and going to the back. She opened the door, glaring down at their captive. "Why couldn't it have been Jedi in the back seat? At least he's cute."

Dingo glared back. "Shut up, slut. Get these stupid ropes off of me."

"What? Who said we were untying you?"

"You gonna hold it for me?"

Marie grimaced. "I bet you would just LOVE that, hoboface. But, no. We'll untie your legs."

As she knelt down, Dingo grinned. "Ah, a woman on her knees. Just where she belongs."

Marie's eye twitched and her knife slid quickly through the ropes, whipping up between the idiotic man's legs, stopping just short of his crotch. Dingo screamed like a child and tried to scurry backwards, failing miserably.

He panted, wild eyed. "You BITCH! What the fuck was that for? Fucking whore, can't take a joke! Get the fuck away from me! You, other chick, get over here! Why the hell is the crazy bitch the one with the knives?"

Evie grinned, looking just about as evil as Marie. "That crazy bitch is only my oldest friend EVER. She just wanted to have some fun with you. Don't you like our trust games? It's a bonding exercise."

Dingo had recovered his breath, anger surging, pride wounded. "Oh yeah? Why don't I tie YOU up and I can play with the knives? That sounds pretty good."

Marie chuckled. "Only in your dreams, perv. We'll untie your hands when we get there, let's go."

Forcing the prisoner to his feet, she began leading him off, Evie bringing up the rear guard. As they got closer to the woods, Marie stopped, scanning the trees. Nodding to herself, she looked back over her shoulder. "All right, hoboface you stay in the middle. I'll take point, Evie you be rear guard. Hoboface, please try to get killed. That would kind of make my day. Thanks."

Dingo looked at the trees nervously, edging away. "Wait, wait, why can't I have a gun? I'm defenseless like this!"

Marie smiled and began walking into the tree line. "That's the point, hoboface. Can't have you shooting one of us, so no gun. I'm not really sorry about that."

Dingo began back pedaling. "As if I'm going in THERE unarmed! Ya'll are crazy bitches! Gimme a gun and THEN I'll go in!"

Evie smiled to herself, pressing the barrel of her gun against his back. Dingo squeaked, startled. Evie grinned wider. "Now, listen to me, Dingo. You can either follow Marie and do your thing, or I can shoot you right now and leave your ass for the Xenos. What's it going to be?"

Before he could answer, Marie turned, crossing her arms and pouting. "Hey! Why don't I get to shoot him? That's what I've been TRYING to do the whole time! No fair!"

Evie leaned around Dingo to look at Marie. "Don't worry, sweetheart. I won't make it a fatal shot. I'll leave that for you!"

"Aw, you really do love me!" Marie smiled sweetly, looking almost angelic, before turning her gaze to Dingo.

"So, hoboface. What's it going to be?"

Dingo began walking forward, clearly shaken up once more. "Damn crazy whores…"

Evie sighed and began following Dingo, shooting Marie a look around him once more. "Ah, reasonable people. They're so boring. Ruin all our fun, they do."

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Evie scanned the area around the hill. Fortunately, there had been a low enough tree branch for her to clamber up above the tree line. She looked all around them, but spotted nothing. Shrugging, Evie climbed back down, jumping from the lowest branch and landing with a small thump.

Marie looked over, giving Evie a meaningful look. "Well?"

Evie just shook her head. "No sign of them. Nothing at all. Maybe we did actually lose them this time."

Snorting, Marie turned back to keep an eye on Dingo once more. "I doubt it. They're around."

Dingo was grumbling, then began yelling at the girls again. "I still don't see why I can't have a gun! There could be BEARS out here! A man can't piss in such a nervous state."

Marie shrugged. "Then we'll just tie you up and go back to the car. Can't say we didn't let you try."

"Stupid bitch. Why are you two so unpleasant? Women shouldn't act like that."

Marie gritted her teeth and Evie came up behind her, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Don't do anything. He's trying to get a rise out of you. He's just an idiot."

Marie sighed, trying to forget her anger. "Yeah, I know. But it's not easy dealing with a sexist, pervy, ugly hoboface."

"Would you stop calling me that? Jeez, you dumb broad, can't you think of anything else to call me?"

Marie smiled as he finished his business, zipping his pants. "There are plenty of things I would love to call you. Deceased is one of them. Alas, that my hopes and dreams for this are crushed. For the moment."

Evie frowned, looking around the small wooded area. "Can't you two keep it down? We still don't know where those Xenos are. We don't need to attract the wrong kind of attention."

Marie nodded, apologizing. Dingo just began stomping towards the two girls. "You know what I think? I think you two are just a bit too uppity. I bet you're LESBIANS. Too good for a guy, huh?"

Both the girls sighed as Dingo continued his tirade against them. Marie looked at Evie, irritation all over her face. "Why is it that they ALWAYS think we're lesbian? Even after an apocalypse, that's the first thing they go for."

Evie shrugged, shouldering her gun. "I guess that's the worst thing they can think of for a girl to be. At least if we're hookers the dudes can get some and we may produce babies. No such thing if we two are an item."

Marie pouted, crossing her arms. "Well, I still think it's stupid."

Before Evie could reply, Dingo screamed. Whirling about, the two women saw him being lifted into the air, a Xeno tail through his shoulder. He was flailing wildly. "HELP ME! HELP! SHOOT IT! OR AT LEAST SHOOT ME! I DON'T WANT TO BE EATEN BY IT!"

Evie hesitated, almost readying her gun. But, Marie's hand on her shoulder stopped her. Looking into Marie's eyes, Evie knew that Dingo was done for.

Marie looked over at him as he vanished into the trees. "He would have let us die. Think of it as revenge for Alpha."

Evie nodded, guilt beginning to gnaw at her. "Maybe we could still get to him… Even if he IS an asshole…"

Shaking her head, Marie turned away. "I'm not going after him. It's a waste of time, energy, bullets, and our patience. We're better off just heading out. Come on."

Evie followed, shoulders slumped. "Sometimes I hate it when you make sense…."

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The two had moved carefully and cautiously down the hill. They were almost to Goners. Evie smiled a little bit. "Hey, at least we're almost there."

Marie just kept scanning the area, terrified. "I won't be relaxed until we're in the car, driving to Marv's. Oh, by the way, there's something I'd like to do before we go to Marv's for the winter."

Evie quirked her head. "What's that?"

Before Marie could respond, a scream came from the trees. A Xenomorph launched itself at them, and the two dove apart just before it landed on them. Another Xeno came from the tree line, a few more following that, until Evie and Marie were separated by no less than ten of the beasts.

Marie looked at the sea of black, wildly shooting into it, trying to keep the things away. Evie was doing the same thing on the other side of the clearing, slowly backing away.

The women looked at each other from across the mass and knew what had to be done. Marie looked like she was going to cry, but she forced it back with a whimper, before calling after Evie. "I'LL SEE YOU AT GONERS! IF YOU DIE, I'LL DESECRATE YOUR CORPSE!"

Evie glared at her friend, before turning tail and fleeing into the trees, a few Xenos following. Marie followed suit, heading in the opposite direction, sprinting as fast as she could. All that was going through her head was a prayer that Evie would make it back to her alive and in one piece.

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Dho'mago'te and Tvrtko were hot on the trail of ooman women. They had lost sight of the females when they had stopped to kill off some of the Kaind Amedha horde. They followed the tracks of the strange vehicle to a small campsite.

Looking about, it was obvious that the Kainde Amedha had been there. Dho'mago'te scowled. "If the Kainde Amedha killed my science projects… I will not be pleased."

Tvrtko sighed, looking about. "I don't see any blood here. Ooman blood is very distinctive. I think they may still yet live."

The two caught the sound of gunfire, coming from very far off. Dho'mago'te perked up immediately. "That MUST be them! Let's go!"

Tvrtko followed behind his exuberant partner, wishing that Dho'mago'te wasn't so… SCIENCY.

The two ran for quite a ways before spotting a glimpse of two figures on a hilltop. One was tall, lanky, with short hair. The other was just a bit shorter, thicker, and had its hair up in a bundle. The two figures were surrounded by the Kainde Amedha coming up the hill.

Dho'mago'te gaped in dismay. "My observational subjects! We must save them!"

Tvrtko quirked his head. "Dho'mago'te, are you sure that's them? Where's their vehicle? They are never without it. And don't they look a little strange to you?"

"Nonsense! Their transporter must be behind the hill, or somewhere we haven't looked for it. Come, we've no time to waste!"

Dho'mago'te pulled his hammer out and charged into the fray, slaughtering the Kainde Amedha with fluid ease while wielding his battle hammer.

Tvrtko followed, picking off the beasts that wandered too far from the main group, choosing his targets carefully.

Even though both had been through a few hunts together, this was a VERY large swarm of Kainde Amedha. They struggled against the never ending tide of darkness, slashing, shooting, hitting, killing as many as they could.

Some of the smarter, older Kainde Amedha leaders ran for it, away from their most hated and deadly foes. The queens had to be informed of this new development.

Finally, the two Yautja reached the hilltop. Dho'mago'te tucked his hammer away, looking about for the females. What he found surprised and disappointed him. "Tvrtkooo…. These are MALES."

The Yautja looked down at the two terrified males and Tvrtko sighed. "I TOLD you they looked strange. But no. You NEVER listen to me."

Dho'mago'te shrugged. "It's not my fault you take forever. You're just too cautious. You'll never get trophies that way."

"I get trophies just fine, thank you very much. Mine are bigger than yours anyway! AND in better condition. When was the last time you took care of your trophies?"

As the two continued bickering, the two human men began slipping away, wanting to get a safe distance from the huge monsters that had killed their friend.

They had reached the edge of the hill and were making their way down it, the Yautja still occupied with arguing. Alas, one of the humans tripped, rolling down the hill, cursing. The other followed him, although still on his feet.

This caused the hunters to stop their verbal sparring. Dho'mago'te looked about, then glanced at Tvrtko. "I do believe the males have made a run for it."

Tvrtko nodded, and began walking off back towards the campsite they had found. "The Ooman males were probably traveling with your precious observational subjects. We did find extra footprints about the camp. I was not paying enough attention to the differences in the tracks."

"Well, we should get back to the tracks then. We must find the females." Dho'mago'te followed behind Tvrtko.

The two made it back to the camp easily and watched as the Ooman males picked up the trail of the missing females. Dho'mago'te frowned. "Hey… They are searching for my subjects as well. We must reach the females before them! We don't want them messing up my observations!"

Tvrtko rolled his eyes as they followed the other males. "Of course we don't. What a tragedy for science. Whatever shall we do?"

"Exactly! I'm so glad you understand the importance of my work. Come on!"

Dho'mago'te charged ahead, easily outpacing the Ooman males. Tvrtko followed at a slightly less frenetic pace, though still easily passing the Oomans. He caught up with Dho'mago'te and the two ran on, following that strangely scented trail.

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They had been running for awhile when they finally found some evidence that they were on the right track. The vehicle of the Ooman women was sitting, silent and cold. They circled it, checking inside for any heat signatures. There was nothing.

Tvrtko went away from the contraption, spotting a trail heading up the hill. "Dho'mago'te! Over here. Tracks. Three Oomans. Your subjects and a third, probably another male."

Dho'mago'te came over, scenting the trail. "I think you're right. Come, let's see where this leads."

The two began jogging up the hill side, keeping a careful eye on the trail of the females. They reached the same clearing where the ones they searched for had been only half an hour before. Searching about, Tvrtko found blood. "Dho'mago'te. Over here."

Striding over, Dho'mago'te slumped in dismay. "Damn. At least one of the three is dead. I shall hope it was the male with them."

"Perhaps. But, perhaps the Ooman who shed this blood is NOT dead."

Dho'mago'te paused in his examination of the pooled and congealing blood. "Why do you think that?"

Tvrtko pointed and Dho'mago'te followed the line of the other's arm, eyes widening. A little ways off was a dead Kainde Amedha, with its own tail spike ripped off and thrust through its torso. Dho'mago'te chittered his approval. "If the Ooman male did THAT, I would like to battle with him."

Tvrtko began striding towards the trail of the male. "Come, let's hunt him! He is undoubtedly worthy."

Dho'mago'te shook his head, hair swishing in its confined state. "No, Tvrtko. I must find my observational subjects! Who knows what useful information I have missed because we lost them? The key to good science is good observation, you know."

Tvrtko growled, frustrated. "MUST we keep following them?"

Dho'mago'te was already walking off. "I think I heard some Kainde Amedha screams this way. Come. I must find my subjects."

They headed back down the hill, once again following the trail of the females.

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They arrived in another clearing much farther down the hill, close to the transporter. There was Kainde Amedha blood hissing on the ground and they could see two distinct trails going away from the clearing.

Gazing back and forth, Dho'mago'te growled in irritation. "This is getting old. I want to find my observational subjects! I don't like hunting them down. After this, let's put a tracker on them. It'll make things much easier."

Tvrtko looked at him. "How about we just put it on their vehicle? I doubt they'd be pleased to have trackers lodged on their necks."

"This is true." Dho'mago'te nodded his head in assent.

Tvrtko looked at his partner. "So. What shall we do now?"

Dho'mago'te looked back and forth between the trails. "We'll have to split up. You follow that trail, I'll take this. Try and bring back whatever female you find alive. But, I suppose the corpse would do as well. Dissection is always useful for finding new things. I don't think we have record of Ooman female physiology."

Tvrtko nodded and the two parted ways, leaving behind the blood spattered clearing, in search of their elusive prey.