Disclaimer: Not mine
I wanted to get this one up before the holiday. Merry Christmas to all and may God bless and keep you and yours safe.
Hermione's Son
Chapter 10
Saturday came and with it Hermione's trip to Diagon Alley. Once she and Severus arrived at the apparation point, he stepped back and released her, watching her reaction as she looked around the Alley. He stood waiting quietly as she slowly turned in each direction before turning back to him and trying to smile. Taking a step closer, she reached out and took his arm.
"It looks the same," she said in an almost whisper. "I thought that after the war it would look differently."
"It was decided that all repairs must keep to the original design," he said as they began walking along the pavement. "The changes are those you cannot see. Reinforced walls, extra beams in the roofs, all things to strengthen the structures but to keep in the original design. When it was discovered that magical wards alone could not protect the buildings, Muggle methods were used as well."
"Is the wand shop in the same place? I want to go there directly before I lose my nerve."
"Yes, it is now owned by a Matilda Dippet. You will find that although there are many new owners the shops remain the same."
"Of Headmaster Dippet's family?"
"She married one of his grandsons. She herself is a great niece to the original owner."
"Gringotts looks different," she said, nodding to the exterior façade of the corner building. "The additional columns by the door are rather pretentious."
"Yes." He smirked and looked down at her with a raised eyebrow. "The customers now walk between them, rather like a Muggle metal detector. However, these columns are spelled to verify identity. There are several other security measures in place since a certain break in several years ago. I also have heard, but cannot confirm, that the security measures in the lower levels no longer include dragons. You will find like precautions installed at the Ministry."
"Oh," she said, looking away from him and the building, feeling a blush starting on her cheeks. "My gracious, the Weasley's shop has grown much bigger."
"It seems no matter how bad things are the public still demands jokes," he said, a look of contempt covering his face.
"Stop. That's a good thing, Severus. I remember on some days that the only bright spot was one of their jokes. You have to admit, the twin's last day in school will go down as one of the best days of pre-war Hogwarts. You should have seen Umbridge's face."
"Granted. I am afraid, however, I only caught the brunt of her wrath."
"I never thought of that," she mused, looking up at him. "None of us ever thought how the staff was affected."
"It has been my experience that students do well to think of the consequences to themselves until their later years. I have yet to meet an eleven year old that would find chasing mountain trolls dangerous."
"The Cauldron you said? I changed my mind. We should eat first," she laughed, surprised but happy when he took her hand and tucked it back into the crook of his elbow.
They sat for over two hours, eating and talking. She told him of what she had left behind in the States, her third floor walk up and the quick pace of the hospital where she had been doing her internship. He listened quietly as she talked, offering little information of himself despite her questions and gentle prodding. He spoke only of Hogwarts and the continued experiments on her insightful cooling techniques. She tried to get him to talk of his childhood, his life at Spinner's End, only to hear him side step every question she laid out.
When the conversation turned to Hugh, she was surprised to hear Severus' assessment of her performance as a replacement for the only parents the boy had known. Feeling a slow blush spread up her neck as he actually praised her on Hugh's preparation for Hogwarts, she tried to wave off his words.
"He needs to develop study skills. However, the Muggle children are always fall behind the first year. Once the wonder disappears and they begin to study, it is my experience that they out perform the children raised with magic. I have always thought it was their reading skills and mat skills that help them."
"I miss him," she said honestly, resting her head on her hand. "When I first came home I couldn't wait for him to leave. I was scared to death of him. I only wanted him gone so I could go back to the States."
"And now?"
"I could never leave him now."
"That is understandable. Even he was your brother it would be reasonable for you to form a strong attachment to him."
"I had to do rotation in different areas of the hospital. A couple of months in maternity, the I.C.U., one in Obstetrics. There was a girl, thirteen. She had been raped by her stepfather and not reported it until she found out she was pregnant. I think it was a good thing she was as young as she was...not that the rape was a good thing but that an abortion was an easy choice for her and her mother. If she had been older…what would she have done? What if it had been a stranger that raped her and she was old enough to make her own decision? I know I couldn't have kept it. I would have done the same thing. Only…I didn't know. I didn't know anything. Now, when I think that I could have done that…" she sighed deeply and looked up at him. "I don't believe I am telling you this."
"It would have been your choice, one no one would have faulted you for making," he said, his expression unchanging.
"Yes they would have. There are people that would have thought I was the monster," she sighed deeply, and shook her head. "I would have hated him. I know I would have. I couldn't have let a rapist's baby grow inside me. I would still be in St. Mungo's. I only know how I felt not even remembering all of it. I couldn't even tell the healer everything." She fell silent, lost in thought. "Now, Hugh hates me. Oh…he still talks to me as his sister but underneath it all, there is this …this question …this rage at me. What happens when he gets older? What happens then?"
"I am sure you will find a way to deal with him. That or his anger will be redirected and defused. I can tell you from experience not to assume a child judges us as we judge ourselves."
"Did you think Harry judged you for the death of his parents?" She saw his face become unreadable and hard, whereas only a moment ago he had seemed open and concerned. "I shouldn't have asked that."
"It would have been quite natural for him to do so if he had learned of it as a child. I believe it was only the treatment that he received at his Uncle's hands that enabled him to see me as other than their murderer as he grew older."
"I would think it the opposite. That his upbringing would have made him much angrier."
"He learned the difference between malice and mistakes."
"And Hugh? How will he see me? He was raised in a much different home. He was loved."
"That, you will not know for several years. As it happened, it was years before Potter and I could carry on a conversation without anger."
"Hugh likes you. I think that's why he is so happy in Slytherin." She sat and studied him as he frowned at her words. "Do you always assume everyone dislikes you? You did it with Harry and with me because I was his friend. I'll be the first to admit that …the way you watched us …you were awful…not just awful you were a complete and utter bully." She smiled weakly seeing the look of surprise on his face. "I know now all the horrid things you did had a reason, but at the time we all wanted to push you into the lake without gillyweed."
"Potter is, and will always be, a pompous self absorbed dunderhead. He did not earn his fame and as such, holds no honour in what he was forced to do."
"He defeated the Dark Lord," she scowled. "He did a lot more than you give him credit for."
"On the graves of those that went before him."
"Can we not talk about this? We'll never agree on it." Hermione asked, waiting to see his slight nod of consent.
Finishing their lunch, they returned to their slow walk down the pavement. She was mostly silent, uncomfortable by the looks the many of the passersby gave her.
"What about you, Severus? Do you ever regret not leaving? Surly you must have considered it."
"Yes I did." he talked quietly, his free hand laying over hers as he strolled next to her. "However, unlike you I had no connections to the Muggle world and no way of securing an education that could support me. I originally held onto Spinner's End thinking someday I would return there. I still might after I am finished at Hogwarts."
"You have years to go before retirement. Look at Minerva. That should give you a long time to purchase a house here. Even if you return to a Muggle life style you could afford much better."
"I will have nothing to hold me and I find the solitude of Spinner's End…desirable."
"I remember thinking I would never leave," she said, a hint of sadness in her voice. "Now I am the one gone and you…who had thought of leaving are still here. It's strange how things work out."
"You are still young enough to start over. There are several positions you are qualified to hold. In addition, with your Muggle education in medicine, it would be a very short step to become a Healer."
"I thought of that. It would mean living here…not just working in the Alley or at one of the potion shops near a Muggle city. I don't know if I am ready for that. And look whose talking," she said laughing. "With our life expectancy you still have a lifetime to do all the things you've missed. Have you ever regretted not having a family? You would make a terrific father."
"I am afraid I am well beyond that."
"Nonsense. With the war over and your place in it known, your position in Hogwarts, your Order of Merlin…I am surprised you don't have witches on a waiting list. Quite the catch you are."
"I may say the same thing to you. With your famous name, your Oder of Merlin…"
"Fine," she said, laughing and swatting his hand, "I get it. But…haven't you ever wanted…you know…someone to talk with? To share your life with?"
"Here we are," he said, pulling the door to the wand shop open, leaving her question unanswered.
Hermione was almost disappointed to see the perfectly organized rows of shelves and neatly stacked wands so different from what she had seen on her first visit. Giving her name and wand type, Mrs. Dippet referred to a card catalogue to find her wand's match. With a flick and swish, it was apparent the new wand was suited to her.
"There you are, Dear. As good as the last."
Looking down at the bill Hermione blanched. "I hope you take Muggle currency."
"No need," Mrs. Dippet looked at her strangely, glancing over Hermione's head to Snape. "Just affix your signature and Gringotts will make the transfer."
"I closed my…" Hermione started when Mrs. Dippet pulled a scrap of parchment over to her that had been in the same box as the wand and instructed her to hold her wand over it. Soon, it gave off an iridescent yellow light as the balance of her vault appeared.
"Miss Granger," Snape leaned down and spoke into her ear. "You were aware of your monthly stipend?"
"What stipend?" She snapped her eyes to his, now only inches from her own.
"Your Order of Merlin…it comes with a stipend for your services to the Ministry."
"That's mine?" Hermione examined the slip then shoved a handful of Muggle money at Mrs. Dippet. "No, take this. I'll be back for it when I have the rest. I can come Monday when the banks open."
"Miss Granger, I can assure you that you have ample funds to…"
"No, I don't want it!" Hermione threw her money on the counter and fled the shop. Hugging her pocketbook to her chest and keeping her head down she began to walk to the apparation point.
"Miss Granger!" Snape called as he hurried to catch her. "This is not the Muggle world. They do not work on credit here."
"I won't use that money."
"Take this," he said, holding out her wand. "You may pay me back. We can make arrangements if the cost is too…"
"No. You keep it until I have the money. I'll not have this hanging over my head. I do not owe any man anything and I am not starting with you. How dare you interfere…how dare you treat me like a common trollop paying for…"
He grabbed her arm to hold her still while he shoved her Muggle currency into her pocket, a look of fury on his face. "I assume with your expertise in trains you can get yourself home. I will not, will not, I repeat, be accused of taking advantage of you or any witch. If I wanted a whore I can find one for far less than the price of a wand."
Hermione yanked her arm away from him, stumbling backwards. She felt the uneven stones under her feet and for a moment smelled burning wood and heard the clash hexes hitting shields. All but running back through the Leaky Cauldron, feeling dark hooded cloaks closing in on her, she found a taxi and took it to the station. Not able to take a deep breath until she was sitting safely on the train, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes steadying her breath as she fought to regain her composure.
It was close to midnight before she made it to Spinner's End. Playing the scene with Snape over in her head, she knew she had reacted in fear and anger. However, the thought of using money, paid because of her part in a blood battle had brought the memory of Ron to her, blocking any ability of reason. Grabbing a pad of paper and a pen, paying no attention to the lateness of the hour, she sat down to write an apology, not knowing how to begin.
Dear Professor Snape;
She leaned back and considered the salutation, then took a fresh paper to start again.
Professor Snape;
Please forgive my outburst today.
She started at the paper and tried to find a way to explain what had driven her on. Surely, a letter of only one sentence would not suffice. If the anger on his face had shown her anything, it had shown that grovelling would be in order.
Still, unable to think of what else to say, she signed the missive with a formal Miss Granger and called Raven. She was not surprised, only sorely disappointed, when the only delivery she got back from Hogwarts the next afternoon was from Hugh. She smiled and sat down to read what he had to say, rather excited to have received another letter so soon.
Sis
I am fine. How are you? I have to write six inches again but something happened. so I thought if I told you about it I may might get six inches easy. easily. Snape said you always did more than what he asked for and said it was nice to see I didn't and gave me five points.
Headmistress McGonagall and Snape were yelling at each other. We all heard it and it was real really funny. I didn't believe anyone would yell at him. She said he was a cad and he should be shamed and he should get his…you know..his bum back there. Right outside in the hallway where we all herd it. It was neat even if we didn't know where he was supposed to get back to but I don't think he went cuz we had lessons all day.
That's only five inches. I asked Frank what a cad was and he said it was being mean to a witch so what was she upset about cuz Snape was just acting normal. I said no cuz he was nice to you then they all laughed at me and said I was nutters so I told them I was joking.
I got the dictionary.
Hugh.
She buried her head in her hands, not certain if she should laugh or cry, deciding instead to send off another letter. Resisting her urge to correct Hugh's spelling and grammar, despite his feeble attempts, she began her second letter to Severus.
Snape;
I should have explained to you that the idea of accepting money for my part in a war that ended with so many lives taken seemed wrong. I should have explained myself, rather than flying into a rage. I hate to call it blood money, but at the time, and now, that is what comes to mind.
Please forgive me.
Granger
After she sent it, she became focused on the kitchen window. Going as far as to move her research materials to the kitchen table and working there instead of the desk in the sitting room she repeatedly leaned over the sink to see outside. Unable to concentrate, she found herself sitting staring at the window rather than working.
"This is stupid," she muttered aloud, calling Raven she tried again.
Snape
Okay, so I hurt your feelings. I understand that. I am sorry. What do I have to do? Grovel? Fine. Consider this a grovel.
Hermione
A week went by during which she managed to revise the outline to her book, still working in the kitchen, still watching the window. Wondering why she cared what he thought of her, she all but threw herself into her work. Still, on Tuesday morning she felt compelled to write yet another letter.
Severus;
I had no right comparing you to other men I have known in my life. You have never been anything but straightforward and honest with me, never giving me a reason to question your motives or friendship. It is a sad comment that I assumed you wanted sexual favours instead of taking your offer in the spirit and compassion in which you gave it.
I thank you for all you have done for Hugh and me. You are the only person that has been there to help me since I have returned to the U.K. and I appreciate it more than you will ever know. I have taken advantage of your kindness, and regret what has happened. I beg your understanding, if not your forgiveness in the matter.
Sincerely
Hermione
Sunday morning she grinned even as she felt her eyes well with tears, to read a one-word missive in Severus' scrawling scrip.
"Forgiven"
~o0o~
Hugh
Hey kid-o, do you know I miss you? I bet there is snow on the ground at Hogwarts. We used to sneak trays out of the kitchen and use them as sleds. It was
She stopped and grabbed a fresh sheet of paper. Now was not the time for reminiscing. That, and the memory that polished trays went a little faster than any sled Hugh would have used before and the drop off from what started as a gently slope a little sharp. Until she knew how he was coming with his spell work, she thought it best to keep the many uses of trays to herself. He would learn them soon enough.
Hugh
Hey Kid-o, do you know I miss you? I keep thinking about all the times I told you to be quiet and now that it is, I want to hear you.
I bet there is snow on the ground up there already.
I can't wait until the hols to see you and have already planned a day out in London for us when I collect you at the train.
Nick's mum said he wants you to spend some time with him and she will be more that glad to have you for an overnight. I checked the train schedule and since there is only one transfer, that you have done before, I think you are old enough to go by yourself if you take your phone with you.
I want to hear all about Hogwarts. Have you made many friends? Do you like charms? I think that was my favourite class in my first year. Is Binns still there?
Write me back, even if you don't have to.
Love
Sis
Hermione looked at the signature and wondered if there would ever be a time he could accept her as more than his sister. She felt her eyes begin to tear and brushed her hand over them quickly as she went to the window to tie the letter to Raven's leg.
~o0o~
Sis
If I come right home and not go to London, can I go see Nick straight off? I asked Snape if he would bring me and I think he said yes.
Tomorrow I have my first flying lesson. I am the only one here that doesn't know how to fly. Alice don't know how either but that don't matter cuz she's a girl. She said she's like me but she's not. Her Mum is a squib so that counts and makes her not the bad blood thing.
Hugh
~o0o~
Hugh
Make sure he said yes and didn't say something like…'I am sure arrangements will be made.' I don't want to be home waiting to find out you are in London.
You should take your skateboard back with you after the hols. I bet your housemates can't ride it as good as you do. Brooms are easy. Once you learn you will be as good as they are in no time, but riding a skateboard takes practice.
Sis
~o0o~
Sis
So I asked him again and he took five points for repeating himself but yeah…he is bringing me back.
Hugh
~o0o~
Hugh
Sorry about the points. Don't ask him again. If I remember correctly, the next time he will up the points. Come to think of it, I don't remember him ever taking points from his own house.
Keep up with your reading. You should have at least eight of the required reading books completed and one on either geography or earth sciences. We can pick up the rest of your textbooks when you are home.
I wrote to St. Mungo's about working in the research division. They had an advert that said they had positions open for independent workers who only had to report once a month. I can stay here but work for them. What do you think?
Sis.
~o0o~
Sis
He did. This time he took 15. He said he's never had a Granger in his house before either then he took twenty for being impertinent.
I read almost four but they were long ones. A kid here says his uncle and you were friends but he died and that he knows Uncle Harry. He's in Ravenclaw. We sit next to each other in Potions and Snape says to stifle it every time we talk.
Would you still have time to watch me?
Hugh
~o0o~
Hugh
Can't wait to see you. Don't worry about the points. He will call on you in every lesson for the entire week just to test you now. However, he will give you points if you know the answer. Just remember, he expects you to know about what you are going to be learning, not what you have already done in class. Just the opposite of Muggle schools. Always read at least two chapters ahead. He may take points away quickly but gives them back if you do well.
What is almost four? Three? Spend at least an hour at night on your reading. Four, of any length is not acceptable. You still have ten days to finish up.
What is the name of your Ravenclaw friend?
Watch you? What's that? We are family. I'll always have time for you.
Sis
~o0o~
Sis
I figured since we are in Snapes house and he don't have no family he should come to Christmas tea. So I invited him.
Mica borrowed my book so I didn't finish it yet. I don't want to start a new one until I finish that one.
His Uncle's name is Dean and his name is Whitaker. Everyone calls him Wit. He is too. He's nice to sit with because he's teased about his name too.
Hugh
~o0o~
Shite, Hermione thought, looking up at the calendar before letting her eyes wander around the room. Walking into the sitting room, she scanned the dust on the bookshelves, the cluttered tables full of books and parchment and cringed when she thought of the loo with her personal items strewn about. Climbing the stairs she decided to start at the top and work her way down wondering when she had stopped scrubbing like a maniac when Hugh had first left for school.
The thought of having a houseguest for the hols, even if it was Snape, who had seen how she lived, threw her into a frenzy of scrubbing and decorating. She filled the cupboards with all of Hugh's favourite foods, wondering as she did if her own mum had done the same and wondering what kinds of food Snape enjoyed.
In a moment of weakness, she used some of the money she had put away for new trousers and two new dresses for herself. Even as she stood in front of the shop's mirror, she wondered why she was bothering and why she cared how she looked. Hugh wouldn't notice, or if he did, wouldn't care and Snape had already seen her at her worse. She turned to the side and inspected her image from all angles, making sure that her bra fit correctly under the fabric, afraid that she would not look 'normal'.
"That fits perfectly," the sales clerk said coming up behind her. "We have it in black if it is for a night out."
"No, Christmas…I thought the green."
"Red," the clerk said appraising Hermione as she walked around her. "Such a waste. Why not try it in black and let me find something else for Christmas day?"
Hermione met the clerk's eyes in the mirror and nodded her head, wondering if Snape would like it and then chided herself for even thinking she would have the opportunity to wear it or if she did, that he would care. She added a pair of black trousers, a winter coat and a new running outfit to the growing pile of clothes and arranged for delivery, for the first time thinking that shrinking spells and apparation would greatly simplify her life and regretting not taking the wand from Snape.
That night she spent hours on the internet researching her mum and dad's family tree. What she did not remember she was able to find readily enough to satisfy a young child. Although it was incomplete, she hoped Hugh would find it interesting and want more information on their family instead of dwelling on his father's. Finally done, she closed the lid to her laptop and grabbed her coat. If she were going to relearn apparation, she would do it on her own.
A/N: Will try to get up one more chapter before the end of the year. However, you know how busy this time of year is and this a little more than most.