Author's Note: So, because of the distinct lack of interest in our contest, we are not doing any more of them until our fragile manly egos are restored. BUT, because we had two entries, they both win! Congrats to PocketSevens and QuickStar! There will be two new one shots up in Misfit Tails soon enough.

Now, on with the show! We guarantee you will LOVE these upcoming chapters.

Disclaimer: We own some pretty awesome characters. But not the ideas that originally created them.

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Chapter 13: Hello! My Name Is…

Rick pedaled along, huffing and puffing. He HATED being the scout. But, Dingo told him to do it, so he did. Squinting, he thought he saw some lights nearby. It HAD to be the large caravan.

Pedaling onwards, he saw a vehicle in front of him. It looked relatively large, perhaps a van? Some figures were moving around it. He slowed down, walking his bike along. Hiding behind some trees, he blinked his one eye, recognizing the people in the gloom.

It was the women that had been a thorn in Dingo's side since day one! He was fairly certain that they had been prisoners in the camp. This couldn't be good.

Then, two much larger figures appeared. Rick whimpered, hiding further in the bushes. It was the giant alien from before, but now with a second one! The last time he had seen one of the girls, the large alien had been with her. His brows furrowed and he scratched at the bandage covering his empty eye socket as he thought about the possibility that the women might be traveling with the strange new creatures.

The van drove off, the aliens easily keeping pace. Once they were out of sight, Rick slipped from the bushes and set his bike up once more, determined to see what had happened to the camp.

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Shortly after the sun had risen, Dingo strode into the destroyed camp. Surveying the wreckage and carnage of the once large group, the leader frowned. He had expected to come back and get to bang some bitches, not deal with a genocide.

Dingo glared furiously at the large man cowering next to him. "Patches! What the hell happened here?"

Patches scratched the side of his head. "Um, actually, my name is Rick and-"

"I don't CARE what your name is, Patches! Now tell me what happened or so help me I'll leave you as bait for the Xenos!"

Patches shuddered. "Some aliens, not Xenos, attacked the camp and killed all the men. No women or children. The crazy girls escaped. We don't know how. And I saw the girls with the two new aliens this morning. They seem to have teamed up."

Dingo's face turned into a mask of pure rage. "Those BITCHES! Friends in high places, eh? Well, I'll fucking kill the fuck out of them AND their alien buddies! I'll make them wish they'd never escaped from me!"

Patches nodded, shuffling away. He didn't want to get hit by the smaller man. Dingo paced around the camp, rounding up all the men that were left. Standing before the small group, he sneered at them. "What kinda wussy bitches are you? You let two, TWO, guys take out EVERYBODY? And, on top of that, you let those nutjobs ESCAPE?"

All of the men scuffled their feet, feeling very awkward. Dingo shook his head. "Now I gotta lead around a bunch of women! Well, I'm going to make sure you dipshits pull your fucking weight! We're going to go to all the caravans around here and go after those fucking bastards! We're going to kill those aliens, just like we kill the Xenos! Any questions?"

None of the men raised their heads. Dingo nodded and turned away. "Get the bitches and food packed up. Let's go find us an army."

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The past few weeks had been rough on Marie and Evie. They had slowly rebuilt their strength and arsenal of weapons, but it was nothing compared to the former intimidating force they had once been. Marie had been hunting down knives and they were strapped and hidden in every conceivable, and inconceivable, place on her body and in Goners. And occasionally on Evie.

Evie had recovered well enough physically, but she still struggled with what had happened to her. Occasionally she would vanish and Marie would find her sobbing, curled in on herself. Evie was terrified of every sound and almost any touch. Only Marie was able to be near her.

But, Marie kept pushing her, keeping Evie as busy as possible. The girls often had run ins with Martello and Ninja over how capable the women really were. The males tried to keep Evie and Marie behind in camp when they went to fight, but the girls did not approve of this.

Marie knew that she and Evie HAD to fight, or they would get weak again. It was because they hadn't fought that the group of men had overpowered them. It would not happen again.

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Marie and Evie slipped away from the camp, sneaking through the darkness, attempting to find a lone Xenomorph to attack. They were practicing. Suddenly, Marie halted, freezing at a small sound. She held up her arm, stopping Evie.

Evie quirked her head, whispering in the darkness. "What is it?"

Marie stared intently into the darkness. "I hear voices. We haven't seen any other humans in weeks. This can't be good."

Evie listened hard as well, finally picking up on what Marie had heard. The two began making their way towards the noises. Gradually, the woods lightened and they caught glimpses of a large group through the trees.

Evie shrunk back. "We should leave. They're going to draw too much attention to themselves. The Xenos are going to descend on here like flies on a corpse."

Marie nodded. "Let's save our Xeno hunt for another day."

Before the girls could get too far, they heard a familiar roar ring out in the night. They caught a rustling of leaves as a cloaked figure tripped and vanished into some sort of hole. The girls sighed. Marie took the lead. "Damn you, Ninja… Why always the tripwires?"

But, before them, Ninja uncloaked. Marie and Evie blinked, mildly shocked. Leaning forward, Marie tapped Ninja's arm. He looked down at her. She stared up at him. "Was it seriously Martello this time? For real? Seriously? Not some other random thing?"

Ninja stared, then nodded gravely. Marie and Evie both sighed again, facepalming.

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Ninja, Marie and Evie decided upon a plan of action in record time. Evie and Marie slipped around the group of men that was busily staring into the deep hole that Dho'mago'te was trying to scramble out of.

Marie crouched, waiting for the perfect opportunity. Then, in a flash, she hurled one of her blades into the thick of the group. A pained squeal erupted from one of the men as his shoulder oozed blood from the knife embedded in his shoulder.

Standing, Marie strolled into the clearing, Evie close behind. Smiling lazily, Marie eyed the shocked group before her. "Hey there, ladies! Going our way?"

The men blinked at her, then erupted in a fury, charging the two women. With a loud whoop, Marie charged off into the night, Evie taking off in a separate direction. As the group split, Marie hoped that Evie would run fast enough to lose the men in the woods.

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Tvrtko slipped towards the trap hole as the females took care of their roles as distractions. Leaning over, he looked down at his partner and tried not to laugh. Lowering some rope, Tvrtko uncloaked and called out. "Faru'qi and Dai'za'te did not believe it was you who fell this time!"

Dho'mago'te grasped the rope and began climbing up the slippery, muddy walls. Slipping a few times on the way up, he finally emerged, glaring at his friend. "That is because it is usually YOU that falls for such foolish traps!"

"Yes, but now it was your turn to take a tumble."

Dho'mago'te scoffed and tried wiping the mud from his body as Tvrtko looped up the rope again. They both cloaked and vanished back into the woods, hunting for their ooman comrades.

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After a short time, the warriors found the scent of the females getting stronger. Tvrtko paused and scented the air once more, nodding at Dho'mago'te. "They have been through here recently. We should catch up with them soon."

Dho'mago'te set off, taking the lead towards the women. He paused, taking stock of the scents around him. He waved to Tvrtko and quickened his pace. "We must hurry. The males are convening upon Faru'qi and Dai'za'te."

The two charged forward, the forest whipping by them, silent as ghosts in the night. Cloaked, they emerged upon a cliff. There was still some distance between them and the edge. Dho'mago'te guessed that a fall from this particular cliff would be relatively harmless to a Yautja, but it was much more worrying for an Ooman, particularly with the rocks scattered at the bottom of the drop.

Hurrying along the cliff edge, they found Faru'qi and Dai'za'te surrounded by the males, the women far too close to the edge for comfort. The males were yelling, hurling rocks and other things towards the women, and the two women were yelling something back, spitting out their words like venom.

The two warriors wasted little time swooping in and dispatching the distracted males. Within minutes, the small group was dead, their blood seeping into the muddy ground.

Dai'za'te and Faru'qi stepped over and around the corpses, coming to the Yautjas' sides, baring their teeth in a smile to the warriors. The four trudged back to their camp, the Oomans nursing the few small wounds they had received from the projectiles flung at them and tree branches.

Settling back in at camp, Dai'za'te took a watch while Faru'qi bedded down. The women had refused to sleep both at the same time any more, which Dho'mago'te and Tvrtko respected.

Dho'mago'te looked at Dai'za'te, who was staring up into the slowly lightening sky. He came to her and sat next to her, staring up as well. She seemed entranced by the points of light dotting the blackness. He did not understand why. He leaned over, trying to see what she found so fascinating.

Dai'za'te pushed him away, giving him a strange look. "What are you doing?"

Dho'mago'te quirked his head. He pointed at her and then up at the stars, rumbling at her. "I try see like you."

She looked at him, quirking part of her forehead at him. "You're trying to see what I see?"

Dho'mago'te nodded and Dai'za'te laughed quietly. Smiling, she turned back to the sky. "I'm just looking at the stars. The night sky is beautiful to behold."

Dho'mago'te quirked his head again, looking back into the sky. He forgot all the information he knew about each point of light and simply looked at the lights in the dark. He wasn't sure he understood what Dai'za'te saw, but it was enough to sit by her side and try.

The peaceful moment was ruined when Dai'za'te spotted Tvrtko inching towards Faru'qi. A look of worry came upon her face as Tvrtko got very close to the slumbering woman. Dai'za'te made a soft noise, calling Tvrtko's name as best she could, then made shooing motions at him.

Tvrtko made a small scoffing noise and scooched back away, sulking and leaning against a nearby tree trunk, pretending that nothing had happened.

Dai'za'te smothered some laughter, then looked back up into the dawn. The stars were vanishing, one by one, until red lit the horizon.

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Marie and Evie trundled along under the lightening sky. The sun was creeping above the horizon, casting a green haze through the tree branches. The two were quiet, enjoying the early morning noises caused by the few remaining animals.

Evie noticed something out of the corner of her eye. Smiling knowingly, she tapped Marie on her shoulder, leaning in to whisper into her friend's ear. "Hey, look. Over in the shadows. Do you see them? There's the two of them. They think they're so sneaky in their invisibleness."

Marie barely cast her glance, passing over the shifting waves of light in the dimness of the tree shade. She easily caught the movement, having gotten used to searching for Martello and Ninja when they were cloaked.

The slight glimmers stopped, the males clearly trying to not be noticed by the two women. Slowly, the girls diverted their path, strolling towards the glimmers. Then, just as they neared one of the two cloaked aliens, the girls each reached out a hand, playful punching at the figure beneath the cloaking device.

The humans both laughed, pulling slightly away. "Found you! Thought you could use those tricks on us, eh?"

Suddenly, a discomfiting noise resounded in the air. It was the sound of blades being released. Brows furrowed, Evie and Marie took a step back. Marie's eyebrows furrowed. "Hey, guys? Martello? Ninja? What gives? We know you're not going to kill us. Don't even try that intimidation thing. It won't work."

Then, one of the aliens uncloaked. Only, it was neither Martello nor Ninja. This one was in between their friends in height and was a strange, sickly shade of yellow brown, with more yellow than brown. The new alien snarled, stepping towards them as the second one uncloaked.

This one was more green than yellow, but still with brown mixed in. He was the one with his wrist blades revealed. Marie took her place between Evie and the new threats.

Evie stared at the slowly advancing enemies. "Holy crap on a cracker! Who knew there were more of Martello and Ninja? Ugly, too."

Marie blinked, then turned to stare behind her at Evie. "It kind of makes sense that Martello and Ninja wouldn't be the only ones around. Also, that is the ONLY thing you could think of to say? Holy crap on a cracker? Seriously?"

Evie pouted. "Hey now-"

The banter was cut off as the greenish one roared and charged them. With a shriek, the girls took off, zigzagging through the trees, darting just out of reach of the enraged aliens. Sadly, this chase did not last long.

The green one made a quick burst of speed forward, grabbing at Marie, who had raised an arm to fend off the impending attack. He pulled Marie into the air by her arm and snarled at her from behind his mask.

Marie spat curses at him, swiftly pulling out the knife Martello had given her, sinking it deep into the bicep of the arm holding her. The green one hissed, hurling Marie away and into the trunk of a tree. Marie's attacker pulled the blade from his arm and stared at it, seemingly stopped for a moment.

Marie took the opportunity to spit out a curse that she thought he would understand. Screaming, she flipped him off. "Ell-osde' pauk!"

Even though she was certain she had botched the pronunciation of her curse, it was close enough that the alien warrior bore down upon her again, snarling and hissing, picking her up by her shirt collar.

Cursing, Marie began pulling blades from her person, stabbing the green attacker as many times as she could before he removed the blade from her hand. Evie stood by, wondering whether she should attack or run for help.

The yellowish alien had come to her side by this point and reached out, easily picking Evie up off the ground. He shook her and Evie scowled. "No, I am not like the crazy woman over there. SHE is the one with the insane amount of knives on her. Not me."

The yellow one quirked his head, in confusion or contemplation, Evie could not tell. But, Evie DID manage to find one of the knives that Marie had managed to hide on her person, in case of emergencies.

Giving a wild cry, Evie stabbed the small blade down, managing to surprise her foe enough that he dropped her. She skittered away, crouching in a defensive stance. The yellow warrior was advancing upon her and Evie tried to wave him away. "Look, sorry about the stabbing thing, but I don't like being touched! I don't even know how I found that knife, anyway. Marie hides them on me while I sleep! I'm not sure how, you'd think I would wake up. But, she does it anyway."

Marie stopped her sadly one sided battle to chime in. "It's because I have mad ninja skills!"

A familiar roar broke through the trees and Ninja came darting out of the woods, knocking the yellow alien away from Evie with surprising ease. Martello also joined quickly, removing Marie from the grasp of her green opponent.

Marie and Evie sighed with relief as the two new ones backed off a little, and the four aliens spoke at each other in their strange hissing, clattering language.

Evie and Marie looked on, confused. Leaning over, Evie whispered to Marie once more. "I think these guys know each other."

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Dho'mago'te held Dai'za'te easily in his grasp, having pulled her from So'zilr's clutches. Setting the small Ooman down next to Faru'qi, Dho'mago'te placed himself between the two females, while Tvrtko watched A'no'kur with a dangerous eye.

While Dho'mago'te was still trying to figure out what to say, So'zilr broke the stillness. "WHAT are you two fools doing with those Ooman females? Have you forgotten what these things are? And which one of you has given the short one your ceremonial blade? And taught her some of our tongue? Not only that, but you are far from your hunting zone! You two will surely be cast out as Bad Bloods for this! And the Oomans will be eliminated. Clearly they know far too much."

Dho'mago'te growled. He did not like it when Dai'za'te was threatened. "I gave Dai'za'te, the short one, my blade. She earned it through hard won battles. And I have learned much of their tongue. I wished to better learn about the Ooman species and better communication was required, so I taught her some of ours as well. She, and Faru'qi, deserve respect for their victories against even the Kainde Amedha."

So'zilr barked out a mocking laugh. "Oomans are nothing but fodder. Deserving of our respect? These… LESSER beings? I'd sooner give respect to the Kainde Amedha. At least THEY can kill some of the weaker of us."

Before Dho'mago'te could snarl back his response, A'no'kur stepped in. "This seems like a heavy matter. We should take this to the Elder for this region. He will decide how we should proceed."

Dho'mago'te thought this over. He could tell that Tvrtko was not pleased with this idea. Slowly, the red warrior nodded. "This is fair. We shall go. But, the Oomans, Dai'za'te and Faru'qi, go free."

"No! They must face the judgment of the Elder as well. Especially if they deserve our… RESPECT, as you so claim they do."

Dho'mago'te scowled behind his mask, but gave a quick nod. He could practically see So'zilr's smug look of victory behind the mask. A'no'kur and So'zilr took the lead, cloaking and striding through the trees, quickly breaking into a run.

Dho'mago'te gazed at his clearly infuriated partner, shrugged, then picked up Dai'za'te, running to follow the quickly vanishing figures of So'zilr and A'no'kur.

Tvrtko looked down at Faru'qi. The small Ooman nodded grimly and the black warrior scooped her up, easily catching up with his larger friend.

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A'no'kur loped along through the dark tunnels, feeling vaguely annoyed with how this situation was turning out. He could deal with So'zilr, even though he was one of the most insufferable males he had ever known.

But this, this was something unexpected. Here he was, trying to remain relatively unnoticed, and now he had to bring in two of the most notorious warriors around. Not only that, but he also had to deal with Oomans that knew about the Yautja. And that had HIT him! Nothing damaging, but his pride had taken a blow.

This was not how he had wanted to meet his father for the first time. Rear guard to two insane warriors and their pet Oomans. With So'zilr leading the whole rabble proudly, as if he were bringing in the head of a wanted Bad Blood. How could this possibly get worse?

Looking up, A'no'kur noticed one of the females acting strangely. He could smell the fear on her and notice the small twitches she made. But, other than those barely noticeable spasms, she was holding her hysteria in quite well. He gave her that.

The other Ooman was talking lowly to the shaking one, trying to soothe the scared one's nerves? He could not understand what they were saying, but the tone of Dho'mago'te's pet suggested that.

Finally, they reached the main chamber in the underground complex. It was hot and steamy from the hot springs located there. Two guards stood at the entrance and So'zilr approached them.

So'zilr stood proudly. "We have need to speak with the Elder here. Let us pass."

One guard quirked his head, clearly taken aback by the presence of the Ooman women. "You have no right to demand such entrance. Besides, why have you brought Oomans with you to this place?"

Clearly annoyed by such treatment, So'zilr pressed on. "These two warriors claim these Oomans are deserving of our respect. That they battle the Kainde Amedha. And they have been teaching them our ways and language. The Elder must know."

Grudgingly, the head guard nodded in agreement, allowing the small group past. A'no'kur could feel the curious and annoyed gazes of the guards as the band passed by them, heading towards a smaller, side cave where the Elder, his father, resided.

So'zilr stood before the cave opening and called out. "Elder! We have need of your guidance."

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Evie was still having a small problem breathing normally and not twitching. She hated caves. At least this one was bigger than the ones they had traveled through to get here. Suddenly, the green warrior at the front of the group made noises and struck a silly looking, dramatic pose.

Marie snorted. "Oh look. The idiot has arrived. I'm sure whoever we've come to see will be terribly impressed. Do you think he knows how stupid he looks?"

Evie giggled. "Not a snowball's chance in Hell."

Martello and Ninja set the women down on the ground and faced the cave opening, while Marie and Evie looked about, amused. Evie quirked her head. "Why do males all have to make those silly looking poses? Do they think it makes them more manly?"

Marie was about to respond when one of the aliens stepped out from the cave. He was only just shorter than Martello, which meant he towered over the others. He was a tawny golden brown shade and had a rich, red cloak that was tattered and ragged on the edges wrapped about his shoulders.

This new warrior struck the most dramatic pose of all and a few seconds later his cape began slowly fluttering as if in a breeze.

Marie and Evie blinked, watching the cape intently. Marie licked her finger, sticking it in the air, testing for any sign of a breeze that could be causing the cape to move. Lowering her arm, Marie turned to Evie, perplexed. "Evie, darling. Do you feel a breeze coming from anywhere? I can't find one."

Evie shook her head. "We're underground. Where would we get a breeze from? There don't appear to be any large holes to the surface in here."

The males were busy chattering back and forth while the caped warrior listened intently, cape still fluttering. Marie and Evie slowly scooched away from Martello and Ninja, trying to see what trick the new alien was using to make his cape move.

Finally, they got close enough and both girls gaped in surprise. Marie pointed, mouth gaping. "DEAR SWEET BABY JEEBUS!"

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End Author's Note: CLIFFHANGER! MWAHAHAHAAAAAA!

Ahem. Moving on.

So, we have three gift one shots we should be working on, once all of them get back to us. And we'll have a new Minivan chapter up relatively soon as well, within the next week or so. Thank you so much for your patience waiting for this chapter! We hope it was worth the wait.

So. We have stopped the contests for the time being, because there has been a gradual decline in interest. We're hoping that if we do them more sparingly, we'll spark more interest in them again. No, we're not really mad, it's okay. Yes, we'll have contests again. Sometime. Eventually.

Once again, thank you for your patience and we can't wait to get you all further acquainted with our FAVORITE character, the Elder. You'll all see why. ^_^