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Hearts Astray

Chapter 14

12 June 2378

The Captain's quarters were still, silent. Beneath a window of streaming stars, Kathryn slept in the bed she had slept in almost every night for seven years. Her sleep was troubled, chaotic, and it was not with regret that she woke up when her morning alarm bleeped. Slowly, groggily, she got out of bed and did the same thing she did every morning, replicated herself a pot of hot black coffee. Then she slumped into a chair, poured herself a cup, and let the black liquid work its magic on her sluggish senses. But before her cup was half empty, her morning ritual was disturbed by the door chime. Kathryn sighed, but called out to whoever was there to come in. The doors opened and Chakotay stepped into the room.

"Good morning," he said.

"And to you," she replied. "But I've had better."

"Rough night?"

"You could say that. I feel like I haven't slept a wink, even though I've been out for eight hours, and I had the strangest dreams. It's like I was living lots of different lifetimes all at once. We were home, we weren't home, we got home one way, we got home another. We were old, we were young, we were alive, we were dying. It was...bizarre."

"Sounds it," Chakotay said. "But not as bizarre as what happened this morning."

Kathryn raised an eyebrow. "This morning? What happened?"

"The strangest thing. We were studying an anomaly when it struck us with a bolt of lightening like the one a few months ago did. Or at least, it would have struck us had the deflector dish not self-activated at the exact moment of the strike."

"Really? It self-activated?"

"It did. No one knows how. I'm guessing it's something to do with an out of time experience, like the one I had, but there's nothing on our system to tell us when the instruction was planted. Tuvok's still investigating, and I've done my own research, but if anyone knows anything, they're not talking." A thought then came to him and he looked at Kathryn with affectionate suspicion. "But maybe I'm being dense here. This 'rough night' of yours, it wouldn't have anything to do with self-activating deflector dishes, would it?"

Kathryn smiled mischievously. "Temporal prime directive, Mr Chakotay."

"Then you do," he said. "You know something."

"Perhaps." She pointed to the chair opposite. "Please, sit yourself down. Coffee?"

"I'd love one."

Kathryn poured him a cup as he sat down and handed it to him apologetically. "No cream or sugar, I'm afraid. I wasn't expecting company."

"Black is just fine. But a whole pot just for yourself?"

"What can I say? One cup in the morning just isn't enough. I need at least three to wake me up. Especially after a night like last night. But, in my defence, my cup's pretty small."

"Looks a good size to me," he smiled. "But enough about coffee. What happened last night? Tell me."

Kathryn reclined in her chair. "Only if you tell me what happened a few months ago."

Chakotay smiled, dimples showing. "Blackmail, Kathryn Janeway."

"No," she replied. "Victory."

"Ok," he laughed. "I'll conceded it. When the anomaly struck us, it shattered Voyager into different time-frames. 37, to be precise. With help from a younger you and Seven, I was able to put the ship back into temporal alignment. The ship was put into sync with my time-frame, so I was the only one to remember what had happened." He paused. "I'm guessing something similar happened this time. So, go on, spill the beans."

"Sorry," Kathryn said, a gleam in her eyes, "but I don't have the can. But thank you for the filler."

Chakotay scowled, but there was amusement in his eyes. "Treachery, Kathryn Janeway."

"No," she smiled. "Cunning. I always find out what I want to know...eventually."

"I can't argue with that," he said. "Game to you. I've lost my trump card."

"But won a good booby prize. Because, from what you've said, I don't think my dreams were just dreams. Voyager was time-fractured in them. I remember that now, remember that Voyager was shattered into different time-frames and realities. More than that I can't remember. It's like trying to see through a fog or a black abyss. But Voyager was definitely time-fractured and I was trying to put her together again. I don't remember how or when, but there were colors. My dreams were full of colors."

"So was the anomaly. It was spectacular, like a..."

"Million dancing rainbows," Kathryn finished. "I can see it...like a misty photograph. Which has to mean that I'm linked to what happened today. For some reason, when time was restored, my memories weren't totally erased. But then, I was never really awake in my dream. I was sleeping. I was sleeping in my bed. And yet at the same time I was living multiple lives. They're all chaotic, disassociated, lines of color without meaning. Yet they have windows, and in those windows I glimpse those existences, those other lifetimes."

"Any predictions about the future?" Chakotay teased.

"Only that if I don't fill up this cup, soon it will be empty."

Chakotay smiled. "Allow me."

Carefully, he picked up the pot of coffee and refilled her cup.

"The younger me in your out of time experience," Kathryn said. "How young was she exactly?"

"About five years old," he said.

"Five?" Kathryn asked in surprise. "I was five?"

"No," he answered. "I'm kidding."

"Then how old was I?"

"Let's just say, you were old enough to know me, but young enough to not know me well."

Kathryn was about to answer, but the door chime played.

"No peace for the good!" she said. "Come in!"

The doors opened and Tuvok came in.

"Morning, Tuvok," Kathryn said. "Let me guess. You're here to find out if I know anything about self-activating deflector dishes."

"That is correct," Tuvok answered. "As part of my investigation, I am questioning every crew member. Only you remain."

"Considerate," she teased, "to leave me until last."

"Logical, rather," he replied. "As you are the captain, by leaving you until last I can both question you and inform you of my findings at the same time."

"I can't fault the logic in that," Kathryn smiled. "Please, take a seat and question away. Would you like a coffee?"

"No, thank you. I will not sit either. I have left Mr Neelix in charge on the bridge...what you would call a long story...and the situation most unnerves me. I aim to relieve him at first opportunity."

"I didn't think Vulcan's get unnerved," Chakotay teased.

"We do not easily," he answered. "But Mr Neelix in charge on the bridge is enough to unnerve a Klingon's bat'leth."

"It certainly is," Kathryn laughed.

"So, let's get this over with," Tuvok said. "Do you know anything about this morning's deflector dish incident?"

"No and yes," Kathryn replied. "I know nothing about what happened, or how it happened, but I was plagued by bizarre dreams last night and I think they are tied in some way to the anomaly. In my dreams Voyager was time-fractured, shattered into different time-frames and realities, and I was living several lifetimes all at once. Not other peoples lives, but my own, just in different realities. I can't remember details, everything is so hazy, but I have glimpses and feelings, glimpses into those multiple existences and feelings of despair, fear, hope, love and triumph. But they're all jumbled, chaotic."

"I concur," Tuvok said. "Your dreams must be related to this incident. Do you remember anything at all about the deflector dish?"

"Nothing. I remember an urgency to fix Voyager, but I don't remember any particulars."

"Were you old in your dreams?"

"Old? I think I was. I was all ages. I was captain of this ship, an admiral at home, an admiral on this ship, and more besides."

"As you were older in your dreams, and you are the only one who has had strange experiences last night, then most likely you are responsible for the deflector dish's self-activation. An older you must either have sent the instruction from the future, or uploaded it using advanced encryption from the past. Generally, when the space-time continuum is restored, out of time memories are erased, but sometimes they are retained in the subconscious or manifest as dreams. This is most likely what happened in your case."

"It's as good a theory as any," Kathryn said, "and one I'm content with."

"Then my investigation is concluded. I will present you with a report later today."

"Thank you, Tuvok. Your diligence, as always, is much appreciated."

Tuvok gave an acknowledging nod and then left. As soon as the door closed behind him, Chakotay spoke.

"I think you should pay a visit to sickbay before reporting for duty," he said. "We have no idea what we were caught up in last night. You should be checked over."

"I'm fine."

"As you'd say that if you were dying, I'd rather here it from The Doctor."

The door chime suddenly played. Kathryn sighed. "Come in!"

The doors opened and The Doctor came in.

"Well," Kathryn smiled, "now's your chance."

"Talking about me, I see, " The Doctor said. "Well, I suppose it's only to be expected, after all I am a walking marvel. What can I do for you, Commander?"

"It's rather what you can do for the Captain," Chakotay said. "She seems to be at the heart of what happened last night and I'd like you to examine her."

"I should have known you'd have the answer to our mystery, Captain," The Doctor said, getting out his tricorder. "So, what happened? Did you set the deflector dish to self-activate?"

"If I did, I have no memory of doing so," she answered. "All I can remember about last night is that I had strange dreams. They really were bizarre. It was like I was in temporal flux. I was living several lifetimes all at once and yet...and yet they were all connected. They were all connected to Voyager, to the anomaly. Voyager was time fractured, split into different time-frames and time-lines, and yet they were united somehow. They were united in me. I was young, I was old, and I was trying to fix Voyager, trying to put Voyager back together again. That's all I can remember. Everything else is a blur."

"Well, you're definitely not suffering from temporal flux now," The Doctor said. "I'm detecting some chronoton and tachyon particles, but nothing else to suggest temporal displacement or flux. You're in as fine health as a workaholic and coffeeholic can expect to be. Of course, if you made an effort to..."

Kathryn raised up her hand. "Spare me the lecture, Doctor. I'm ok, that's all Chakotay needs to know."

The Doctor turned to Chakotay. "You could do with some fine tuning yourself, Commander. As a vegetarian, it's essential that you..."

"Not now, Doctor," Kathryn said. "I've had a restless night, despite being dead to the quadrant, and Chakotay's been on early shift. We're not in the mood."

"You're never in the mood, Captain. Every time I..."

The sound of Seven's voice over the comm interrupted him. "Seven to the Doctor, you are required in sickbay. Medical emergency."

"Looks like duty calls, Doctor," Kathryn said.

"All too soon," he sighed. "I'll speak to you later, Captain." He then tapped his commbadge. "Doctor to transporter room one. Beam me to sickbay."

In seconds the transporter beam engulfed him and he disappeared.

"Maybe now we can enjoy our coffee," Chakotay smiled.

"I hope so. Without my fix, I'm worse than a Kalturva bear with two sore heads."

Chakotay laughed.

"Strange though...to think that my dreams might not really have been dreams, but alternate existences. Strange and unsettling. It makes me wonder how many lifetimes we have lived, how many existences we have experienced but can't remember. I've always found that frightening. Maybe that's why I don't like temporal mechanics."

"I'm not a great fan myself. "

"I just hope there are no more of these anomalies ahead. Twice we've survived a strike. We may not be third time lucky."

"No, but somehow I think we will be. Besides, these anomalies are proving quite entertaining so I hope there's at least one."

"Well, if there is, we're avoiding it. I may seem to have the luck of the gods, but I don't want to push it. If we see anything like these temporal anomalies, we're heading in the opposite direction."

"Might be better to avoid all anomalies," Chakotay teased. "We'd get home faster."

"Right. Fast ride, slow trip. You know what they say, adventure risks disaster."

"I haven't heard that before."

Kathryn smiled. "Maybe I made it up."

Chakotay raised up his cup. "Well, whoever said it, I'll drink to it. To adventures...may we have many."

Kathryn knocked her cup against his. "To adventures."

END OF CHAPTER 14