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Hearts Astray

Chapter 27

6 WEEKS LATER

On the fifteenth deck of a luxurious ocean liner, Kathryn leant against a wooden rail and looked out at the glorious blue sea of the South Pacific. A warm wind was blowing, rippling the ocean and sweeping through her now short hair, and Kathryn let herself melt into it. The past six weeks had been hell, a hell that was still ongoing, but this serene and tranquil place was a small taste of heaven. Since Chakotay's abduction, she had been working flat out with B'Elanna and the investigation team, but now, for the sake of her babies, she needed a break. There was nothing she was achieving, little that the team was achieving, and her absence would make no difference. They now had a rough idea where Chakotay had been captured, but they still had no idea of his fate or where to find The Atoners. Borka, an ex-Maquis member of Voyager's crew, was willing to be bait for The Atoners, in the hope they'd bite and be caught, and that option was currently being explored. But if the attempt went ahead, it would be orchestrated by Admiral Vale and her colleagues. Kathryn was redundant. The most valuable contribution she'd made to the investigation was her hunch that The Atoners were an alone crew on an alone ship. B'Elanna agreed, as did several of the investigators, and that was presently the working theory. For the moment, Kathryn's marriage to Chakotay, and her pregnancy, were still a secret, but they could not remain so for much longer. At three months pregnant with triplets, she already had a bump, and very soon that bump would not be concealable with baggy clothes. To prevent a media frenzy of speculation, she would make public at the end of this vacation her marriage to Chakotay and her pregnancy. It was not something she wanted to do, as she wanted to be true to the promise she and Chakotay had made to each other to keep their marriage a secret, but this situation was not one either of them had envisaged and an announcement was necessary.

"Admiral Janeway?"

Kathryn turned around and came face to face with a naval officer who made her shudder with an overwhelming sense of deja vu. There was something disturbingly familiar about his green eyes, graying hair and rugged olive complexion, like she'd seen him before, like she'd lived this moment before.

"That's right," she said, almost uncomfortably. "And you are?"

"Captain Brett Laurence," he smiled, "captain of this vessel."

Kathryn held out her hand to him. "It's an honor to meet you."

Brett took her hand and shook it. "Likewise. I heard that you are onboard and I wanted to welcome you personally. But you're a hard woman to find."

Kathryn had to smile at that. "When I don't want to be, absolutely."

"Are you enjoying our cruise?"

"Yes." That wasn't exactly true, as she could enjoy nothing while Chakotay was missing, but she didn't want to be rude.

"I'm glad to hear it. We aim to please. And it's always nice, isn't it, to be a pampered passenger instead of an exhausted officer?"

"It certainly is."

"Are you here alone?"

"I am," she answered.

"A beautiful and intelligent woman like yourself shouldn't be alone. Join me for dinner tonight?"

"Thank you, but no," Kathryn replied. The Captain was clearly flirting with her and that, along with a feeling inside that she couldn't quite describe, made her uneasy in his presence.

"I'm afraid I won't take no for an answer."

Kathryn didn't have the strength to argue so she relented. "Then I guess we're having dinner."

Brett smiled in triumph. "My quarters, 20:00 hours."

"I'll be there."

The Captain then left and Kathryn returned to sea gazing.

Captain Brett Laurence's quarters were on the first deck and Kathryn arrived there promptly at 20:00 hours. She was wearing a long blue flarey dress that hid her bump and a pretty white cardigan. Brett was waiting for her, smartly dressed in a black suit, and he greeted her with a smile.

"Welcome," he said. "Come in."

Kathryn stepped into the room, which was an elegant lounge with wide windows that looked out at the sea, and Brett gestured towards a dining table that was beautifully set with candles and flowers.

"Please, take a seat."

Such a romantic, intimate, setting made Kathryn uncomfortable and she felt she had to make it clear, before the night progressed, what exactly their personal parameters were.

"Before I do," she said, "I'd like to make it clear, so there's no misunderstanding, that this isn't a date. I'm already involved with someone."

"So am I," Brett answered. "So, sit down, relax, and choose what you'd like to eat from our award winning menu."

Kathryn felt a little foolish now and felt the need to apologize. "I'm sorry," she said, sitting. "When I saw the candles and the flowers..."

"You thought I'd invited you here to seduce you," Brett finished as he sat opposite her. "Rest assured, that is not the case. If you were single, and I was single, then I would definitely turn on the charm, but as we're both spoken for, my motives are purely intellectual. It's not every day I get to entertain one of Starfleet's most decorated officers, and a beautiful one at that, so of course I've made a special effort."

Kathryn smiled now, beginning to feel more at ease in his company. "And I appreciate it, truly."

"Good." He handed her a black velvet menu that had shimmering silver pages. "Now, pick what you want to eat and drink from any of our restaurants. As captain, my order jumps the queue, so whatever you fancy can be yours in five minutes."

"Good perk. I'll have to make the recommendation to Starfleet." She looked through the menu, but there were so many mouth-watering dishes to choose from that she didn't have a clue what to pick. "But I think I'm going to be here all night deciding. I've never seen such a wonderful choice."

"Take as long as you like. In the mean time, let me order the drink of your choice."

"Ruberia," she said. It was a drink that had the look and taste of red wine but without the alcohol.

"Then Ruberia is it." He hit his commbadge. "Captain Laurence to Restaurant Meridian, please beam a large bottle of Ruberia to my quarters."

As the connection terminated, Kathryn put down the menu. "Oh, I'm never going to be able to choose. Every time I make up my mind, I see a tastier dish. So, in the hope it's listed there somewhere, I'll have a roast dinner with chicken."

"It certainly is listed," Brett smiled. "In fact, I have it all the time."

"Really?"

"Yes. I love roast dinners. Ruberia too."

Kathryn leant back in her chair. "Next you'll be telling me you love coffee gateaux."

"I do. It's my favorite dessert."

"Mine too. I'm addicted to everything coffee."

"So am I. Without my fix in the morning I can't function."

"How do you like it?"

"Black, no sugar."

"Exactly how I like mine."

Brett smiled. "Then it looks like we're kindred spirits. Which means you must like Mozart and Shakespeare too."

"As it happens, I do."

"Your favorite play?"

"King Lear. Yours?"

"King Lear."

Kathryn shook her head in disbelief. "Uncanny. Your favorite Mozart symphony?"

"Number 40"

"Mine too. What about your favorite color?"

"Blue. Yours?"

"Blue. Your favorite season?"

"Winter," he answered. "Yours?"

"There you've got me. Summer."

A blue transporter beam suddenly flashed before them and a bottle of Ruberia materialized on the table.

"About time," Brett declared. "Service is slacking."

"It's pretty impressive to me," Kathryn said.

Brett smiled. "Then let's see if we can impress you with dinner too." He hit his commbadge. "Captain Laurence to Restaurant Meridian, two chicken roast dinners to my quarters and two slices of coffee gateaux." He then opened the bottle of Ruberia and poured Kathryn a glass. "I was very sorry to hear about the abduction of your former First Officer. The last few weeks can't have been easy for you. But I promise no journalist will bother you here. We have strict rules regarding the privacy of our guests."

"Thank you," Kathryn said. "But can we change the subject? I'd rather not talk about Chakotay."

"Of course, I'm sorry." He filled up his own glass with Ruberia. "How about we talk about ballet or tennis? As your tastes are so similar to mine, I bet you like them too."

"I do," Kathryn replied. "In fact, I'm a trained ballerina and I played on the high school tennis team."

"Really? How about that! We must have a game while you're here."

"Oh, I don't play anymore," she told him. "These days I prefer to be a spectator."

"Can't say I blame you. Will you spectate with me? Ballet, not tennis. The only tennis to watch around here is out of shape folks trying to get into shape."

Kathryn smiled. "I'd love to. There's a performance of The Nutcracker tomorrow night in your Coral Theater. I planned on going alone."

"So did I. But I'd much rather have company. Sharing a performance with someone always enriches the delight."

"Providing they enjoy it too," Kathryn teased.

"Yes," he laughed. "Providing they do. But it's settled, we'll attend together. I'll pick you up at your cabin at 19:00 hours."

"I'll be waiting."

A blue transporter beam flashed again and their food materialized on a gold tray. There were two steaming roast dinners, a jug of hot gravy, an assortment of sauces, and two very large slices of rich coffee gateaux."

"Impressed?" Brett asked.

"Absolutely," Kathryn answered. "What a dinner! What a gateaux!"

"Only the best on my ship," he smiled.

"And it's real, not replicated," Kathryn said, breathing in the mouth-watering aroma.

"Now I'm impressed," Brett declared. "How can you tell?"

"When you've lived on replicated dinners for seven years, you can tell."

Brett laughed and held up his glass of Ruberia. "To real dinners."

Kathryn tapped her glass against his. "Real dinners."

Then they both grabbed a plate and began to eat.

After they'd finished eating, Kathryn and Brett talked on a sumptuous red velvet couch and then finished the night with a hot chocolate. It was dark outside the windows now and diamond stars twinkled in a black heaven.

"I've really enjoyed tonight," Brett said. "Thank you."

"Thank you," Kathryn replied. "I've enjoyed your company."

It was true, she had. Against her expectation, the night had gone well. Brett's witty humor and intelligent conversation had done much to lift her heavy sadness and she had to be grateful for that. Any respite from the pain, any escape or distraction, was welcome.

"In fact," Brett went on, "I don't want this night to end. Stay, Kathryn. We can drink champagne beneath the stars and make love until dawn."

At these words, Kathryn tensed. "I told you, Brett. This isn't a date."

"I know. And it wasn't. But it can be. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met. I want to make mad passionate love to you."

Kathryn put her cup down on a gold table. "Your girlfriend wouldn't appreciate that."

"No, but what she doesn't know won't hurt her. I'm not asking for a relationship, I'm just asking for tonight."

"Then you're asking the wrong woman. I don't do one night stands."

"Then you should." He reached out and took her hands in his. "There's a current between us, Kathryn, I can feel it. Don't hold it back, give in to it."

Kathryn broke free and got to her feet. "I think we should say goodnight."

Brett stood too and seized her. "Don't leave, Kathryn. You know you want this."

He put his lips to her neck and tried to kiss her there but Kathryn pushed him away.

"Goodnight, Brett."

But as she tried to walk away, Brett grabbed her and got her against the wall. "This is what you want, isn't it? You want me to play rough so you're forced to give in to your desire!"

"No," Kathryn cried. "I..."

"Yes! And if that is what you want I'll gladly oblige!" He pinned her firmly against the wall and unzipped his pants. "You want me, Kathryn. I know you want me!"

"I don't! And if you don't back off right now, I'll report you for rape or attempted!"

At this, Brett let her go as though she was suddenly toxic. "Ok, ok! I get the message!" He ran his hands through his hair in stress and then zipped up his pants. "I clearly misread the signals."

"You clearly did."

"Please don't think badly of me. I would never hurt you, never."

"I'll have take your word for it."

He stepped closer, calmer now. "Are we still on for the ballet tomorrow?"

"No," Kathryn answered. "In fact, I'd appreciate it if you'd keep your distance from me for the rest of my stay."

"That isn't necessary."

"I think it is."

"Ok," he relented. "If that is what you want."

"It is. Now, goodnight, Brett. Have a good life."

With that, she turned around and left his quarters.

In the safety of her cabin, Kathryn took off her cardigan, kicked off her shoes, and then ran a bath. Brett had been wearing strong aftershave and it was lingering on her, poisoning the air. Her initial doubts about him had been right. He could not be trusted. All she could hope was that he would keep his word and keep his distance. There was something about him that made her uneasy and she never wanted to see him again. When her bath was ready, Kathryn undressed, recycled her clothes, and then climbed into the warm soapy water. The bubbles caressed her skin, relaxed her taut muscles, and washed away Brett's scent. A few inches above the bath was a gold showerhead and Kathryn switched it on. Warm water rained down upon her and she let it run down her face before washing her hair. Then, when she was clean from head to toe, she got out of the bath, dried herself, and then wrapped herself in a soft blue robe. She then went into the lounge, sat on a gold couch, and turned on the tv. It was almost midnight but she wasn't yet ready for bed. It was in the darkness and quiet of a lonely bed that her unquiet thoughts troubled her the most. In the silence, there was nothing to hear but Chakotay's screams as the Cardassians tortured him, and in the blackness there was nothing to see but his bleeding battered body. The only escape from the horror was sleep and that was always a long time coming. So, she stayed up until her body was crying out for sleep. That lessened the waiting time, lessened the torture time. But as she sat there, vacantly watching a quiz show, she found herself weeping. She missed Chakotay so much that her heart was screaming with the agony.

Tearfully, she got up, went into her bedroom, and opened a drawer by her bed. In it was a white velvet box and she picked it up. Then she sat on her bed and carefully opened the box. Inside, tied together with red ribbon, were their precious wedding rings. Kathryn touched them gently and then clutched them in her palm. The love they symbolized gave her strength and made her feel closer to Chakotay. Clutching them still, she curled up on the bed and closed her crying eyes. She imagined Chakotay was beside her, holding her, and in the comfort of his love her pain eased.

Then, suddenly, bleeps blared in the lounge. Kathryn recognized the bleeps, they were the bleeps of communication. Someone had sent her a message. Incase it was news about Chakotay, Kathryn got up from the bed, put down the rings, and made her way into the lounge. Her laptop was on a glass table by a window and she switched it on. Sure enough, there was a message. The sender was unidentified and the message's origins were unknown. Kathryn performed a quick viral check and then opened the mysterious message. As she did, her heart skipped a beat. For there on the screen, through waves of interference, was a dearly beloved face. It was Chakotay's face.

"Hi, Kathryn," his muffled voice said. "I don't have much time so I'll make this brief. I want you to know I'm ok. I'm out of Cardassian hands and am on my way home. Someone who owed me a favor helped me escape and gave me a shuttle. I'm relaying this message through Cardassian and Federation networks so you won't be able to reply. If all goes well I'll be home in a few weeks. I love you and I miss you."

There was a sizzle, a flash, and then the screen went blank. For a long moment Kathryn just stared at the screen, hardly able to take in what she had heard, then the news sank in and she laughed through tears of joy. Chakotay was ok. He wasn't dead, wasn't being tortured to death in some Cardassian prison, he was alive and free. The terrible ache in Kathryn's heart went now and joy danced there instead. Chakotay was ok and was on his way home.

END OF CHAPTER 27