The One Ring That Pierces the Heavens!
Round Two: A Winn3r is You!
Vs. Team Dai-Gurren from Team Dai-Gurren Lagann
"What do you mean, we have to 'win the game?'" Gex stared impatiently at the TV screen in the window, tapping his feet.
"It's as simple as that," the Agent said, shrugging, "You play a game of Risk, you beat the other person, and you win."
"I hate Risk," Gex mumbled, moving to turn the TV off.
"Hey, at least we didn't make you play Monopoly-" the Agent started, but was cut off.
Gex turned and walked the few feet back to his three companions, watching as Spyro continued rubbing his head. The poor purple dragon still had a massive migraine from his personal encounter with the previous enemy's head.
"You going alright there, Spyro?" Gex, since the last round, had started trying to lose his bias against dragons, especially since it seemed they were going to be in this a while. He was still peeved about his tail, but he knew, deep down, if he took revenge now, things would go downhill in the tournament for them quickly. Not that he was planning equal revenge, but he still wanted some kind of satisfaction for the stupid dragon's mistake.
"Yeah, I- I'm okay," Spyro shook his head gingerly, still wincing when even the slightest move caused a spurt of pain to go through his head. Since their round, the team had gone off to the sidelines to watch the other teams, and rest to regain their energy. There'd been another call from the Agency, this time from a TV store directly behind them (Metropolis seemed to love the "television", Spyro and Cynder noticed), which Gex had responded to.
"Don't worry, this round's not going to involve fighting," Gex stated, waiting for their reactions. As expected, all three looked up at him in surprise.
"No fighting?" Cynder's black brows came together in her confusion.
"Yay!" Sparx said happily, raising his arms, and then lowered them, baffled, "Wait, yeah, what?"
"Nope; this time, we play a game," Gex sat down, making sure his now-bandaged tail slipped behind him, "You have games back on your planet? You know, like Chess, or, or, Checkers; stuff like that?"
He got blank stares in response.
"I don't know about 'Chess,'" Cynder said cautiously, giving Spyro and Sparx a worried glance, but we do play 'Chase the Sheep' and 'How Fast Can You-"
"Okay, so no board games? Great," Gex interrupted, "Yet another explanation is inevitable, I suppose...So the game we're playing is a really old game, for here anyway, called 'Risk.' It's a war game-" he glanced between his three teammates, "You have your little fake armies, and you move them around the board, taking turns, until you take over the entire continent. You guys have something like that back on your planet?"
"Yes," Sparx said, "But it's never been any sort of game, I'd say..."
Gex sighed. "Of course," He saw his companions' downtrodden expressions, and attempted a smile, "It's okay. It's just a game."
There was a short silence that followed.
"Nevermind," Gex shrugged one shoulder and licked his eyes, glancing between Spyro and Cynder, "Now then, have either of you led an army?"
"And what," Sparx grumbled, "You assume I didn't?"
…::Metropolis International Convention Center::...
The convention center was packed. There was no denying it; even people who weren't in the tournament had shown up, enthusiastic after the previous round. The gangs of Metropolis had decided to start rooting for teams on their own, betting on wins or losses for or against other teams. This eventually resulted in several fist fights, gun wounds, and many knife stabbings in backalleys later, but for now they were enjoying the thrill of watching the teams play thrilling games like Monopoly.
"Nah, sucka, he gunna go fo' 'de 'lectric comp'ny!" one thug told the other thug next to him, observing the intense game between Spongebob, Sam, Zim, and GIR.
"Noooo way, man!" the other thug said, waving his hands, "I seen 'dis played befo'. He-" he motioned to Zim, "Gunna go fo' 'de Railroad. 'Den, he own all four 'a 'dem!"
"Ahh, I see, ya foo'!" the first thug nodded, and the slapped his palm into the other thug's open one. The four opponents choicefully ignored them.
As Gex and his teammates made their way through the crowd towards their table, their opponents were already waiting, the game and several sets of cards set out and rules displayed on a decently-sized rectangular table, of which the board game itself took up nearly all of. One of the judges, a geeky-lloking teenage boy with a face like the wrong side of Venus, stood at the side, waiting patiently for all members to show up.
Simon and Kamina were sitting at the table itself, while Boota, Viral, and Yoko had pulled up chairs to sit beside them. Kamina still had bandages from the previous round, but he was functioning as...however normally he could stand.
"Don't worry, bro!" he slapped Simon on the shoulder, causing the younger boy to yelp and jump slightly, "We're just gunna beat these guys, and then we'll move on like there's no yesterday!"
"I-I don't know, Kamina," Simon said slowly, watching "Team Spyro" advance up to the table, "I saw how they fought those crazy people in the last round, they seem to be pretty good at the whole strategizing thing..."
"Peh! They're a bunch of lizards; what could they know?" Viral spat thorugh his sharpened teeth.
Gex and his troupe pulled up chairs, and he and Cynder helped Spyro up into one before getting up, a bit awkwardly due to their unique physiques, into their own. Sparx buzzed around a few times before settling into a spot near Spyro's head.
"Laright, is everybody here?" the judge asked, boredom evident. When there was no response for a full second, he continued, "Okay, here's the rules..."
"Wait," Gex demanded, looking over the board, "What is this, Lord of the Rings?"
"Yeah, it was the only version we had left," the judge said, shrugging.
Gex mumbled "Nerds" under his breath while the judge continued.
…::Five Minutes Later::...
"I pick gold, because gold is the color of awesome!" Kamina proclaimed, holding up a gold-colored, plastic piece shaped like an eagle.
"Green's pretty cool," Simon said, picking up a green piece roughly shaped like a person with a bow.
"Wait, why are we the bad guys?" Sparx asked, flying down to pick up and observe the crudely-shaped, black horseman in his tiny hands.
"Because they got here before us," Gex answered, plucking the piece from his hands and giving it back to Cynder, who looked about as happy as a rich child getting a pair of white socks for Christmas.
"Oh," Cynder mumbled, "Joy."
"Since you're each only allowed 45 battalions for now, we're going to allow you to pick out however many of each you want. But, what I'd recommend," the judge picked up the human-shaped piece, "Is 20 of these guys, five of the horsemen, and two of the bigger dudes for now. But that's just me," he held up his hands, "You guys can pick whatever you want."
Everybody, of course, went with his suggestion. After all, he was a judge. Surely he would know better than any of them.
The judge also held up a small shield-shaped one, "Don't forget about these dudes! They're gunna be really helpful," and everyone followed his order.
As the judge then handed out the territory cards, Gex had to be careful not to let them get stuck to his paws. He spread them out carefully in front of him, and then made a face.
"'Lo-ree-in?' 'Anfalas?' Who came us with this crazy names, anyway?" Yoko asked before anybody else could.
"Hey! Don't dis Tolkien, man!" one observer hsouted. Now that news had spread the teams were playing the Lord of the Rings: Trilogy Edition, which, granted, had not been well-received, they had attracted a rather large crowd.
As the played struggled to find their territories and place their pieces down in order to actually start the game, Simon, Kamina, and Gex, none of them being war-strategists, began to place their pieces randomly. Cynder, being the only one in the playing group that had ever been involved in war (and not just from her darker days), was careful to select specific areas to place her pieces, choosing instead to have the close-together territories more well-defended than the out-lying ones.
"Ooh, can I keep this?" Kamina asked, picking up the model of the One Ring, which had been put previously in the Shire area his battalions now occupied.
"No, that's there for another purpose," Kamina looked put-out, but did not protest, "Now before you guys start putting your pieces everywhere," the judge eyed all of the players carefully, "You have to take turns on who claims the other territories, got it? You," he pointed to Kamina, who was done first, "You pick an unclaimed territory."
Kamina beamed, and pointed towards the part labeled 'Lune Valley.'
"Okay, put a piece on it, then."
He did, and Cynder turned to Gex, seeing his sporadic placement of his pieces, and whispered behind a held-up paw, "You might want to think ahead about what your opponents might throw at you! Be sure to send adequate defenses to the outer areas, but you also need to be sure your clustered territories are strong too!"
Gex turned, surprised, and whispered back, "Are oyu sure?"
"Yes!"
"Alright," he held up his paws, and began to move his pieces around more strategically.
She quickly added, while Simon struggled with where to put his piece, "We should also try and get areas that are right next to each other, so we can back each other up, got it?" Gex nodded.
"Look, bro!" Kamina said, grabbing Simon around both shoulders and pointing towards the area faintly labeled 'Gondor,' "We're right next to each other! We gotta stick up for each other, just like in battles, and reach out to conquer all the other lands with our brotherly love!"
Viral made a sickened face.
"That's good! I think," Simon said eagerly. Just then, he noticed one entire side of the board was quickly filling up with red and black pieces, and he, although being younger than his traveling companions (save for, what he thought anyway, Boota), began to realize his opponent's strategies and began to purposely pick out lands that were closer to his own and his brother's. The judge went around the table, letting each of the players pick an empty territory until they were all filled up; Cynder, being the last to go, was a little put off when she realized she'd receive one less territory than everybody else.
They then each rolled the dice, and Gex, much to his surprise (after vigorously shaking his paw to get the die to actually come off his paw), scored a six, signifying he was the first to go.
"Okay," he mumbled, feeling everyone's eyes on him as he carefully counted the number of territories he held, divided that by three, and then picked out several extra battalions to put into his territories. He glanced at Cynder as he put the pieces down, and seeing her curt nod of approval, followed through.
"Now you can choose to combat or not-" the teenage judge said.
"Sure," Gex said quickly, picking up a foot soldier piece and placing into an adjacent spot occupied by one of Kamina's pieces. Kamina grinned.
"So, you dare to challenge the brotherhood? I say," Kamina slammed his fist on the table, causing it to shake, "I accept your challenge!"
Everyone stared at him, but Kamina didn't notice. Gex, having a horseman which represented three battalions, put that in the "Attacker/Defender" part of the board, and withdrew the three red die. Kamina, having only one battalion in the territory, put the little replica down in the same spot and picked out one black die.
"Only one? But that's hardly worth a fight!" Kamina observed sadly.
"Quite complaining. Gex might roll three ones," the judge rolled his eyes.
Gex swallowed hard. He could. Thus, he was careful when he put them in his palm, as to not make them stick this time, shook them, and thrust them onto the table.
"Four, four, and three," the judge read, and then glanced at Kamina, who rolled his dice quickly, "Three. Good job, you've won," the judge declared, much to Gex's and Cynder's delight. Kamina's smile dropped, and he withdrew, handing the dice back over to the judge. Almost immediately, however, the smile was back and he was proclaiming about how he was going to quickly recuperate and conquer everyone with Simon by his side.
…::Thirty Minutes Later::...
The game was getting intense now; the One Ring had moved all the way down the board and was quickly advancing towards Gondor, which, as the players had been informed, meant the game was going to come to an end soon. Knwoing this, the competition began to get fierce. Kamina threw the dice so hard into the table they bounced off and whacked out an observer's eye. Cynder and Simon began to get competitive; he'd nearly conquered Rohan, and then she'd invaded half before he won it back, and then, using the ships, she'd conquered nearly half of it again. Gex had tried in invade Rohan three times and had failed each time. Kamina, however, had won Rhun and was slowly worming his way into Rhovanion, much to Gex and Cynder's annoyance.
"Don't worry brother!" Kamina said, placing another horseman into a spot connected to Cynder's chunk of Rohan, "I will come to your defense!"
Cynder grimaced. Due to the thinning of her troops over such a space, she'd been left with only a horseman and a footsoldier in the space Kamina was eyeing, while he was stacked with a horseman and four footsoldiers. That didn't mean much when it depended on a roll of the dice and a tie meant the defender won (as Gex had been the unfortunate reciever of many times now), but it still looked intimidating.
Sure enough, they rolled, and Cynder won one; Kamina one another. Scowling, Kamina tried to invade again, this time only to lose two more soldiers. The next invasion, Cynder won once, and Kamina won the next roll. He huffed, and then went after another country Cynder was occupying deep in Arnor, and with four more rolls of the dice, lost and was forced to retreat for the sake of keeping his own territory.
Simon slammed one of his adventure cards down, looking determined, "With this, I can receive an extra two battalions in Arnor!" He picked up two more footsoldiers, counted his territories, and picked out another horseman and footsoldier, placing them in areas he was sure he was going to need them. With a quick roll of the die, he won over one of Cynder's ship ports, and then exploited one of his other ports, in Gondor, to move more pieces into the port Cynder had claimed in Rohan. When he lost both rolls and was left with one horseman, however, he opted to change tactics and invade from land.
With more of the "win-one-lose-one" rolls and his massive numbers, he quickly took back another territory. He then tried to invade her spot in Arnor, but, much to everyone's surprise, he lost. Grumbling, he moved a few pieces around, signifying the end of his turn, and then rolled the die to see if the One Ring would advance towards Mount Doom any more.
(They had, over the course of the game, been slowly conforming to the geeks' ways around them, and had learned to correctly pronounce each country and major place's names, along with their significance in the acclaimed books.)
Right after Simon rolled a six, meaning the One Ring was to move on, Gex threw up a paw, Advneture Card in hand, and spat, "Not so fast! I play," he glanced at the title, "Boromir tries to seize the One Ring! That means the ring," he motioned to the said piece of jewelery, "Stays here."
"Oooo!" the fanboys said unanimously.
"Boromir was such a dick," one of them said.
"Dude, whatchu talkin' 'bout?" the thug from earlier growled, "He was 'de coolest!"
The other thug turned and gave his friend a funny look. The first thug looked embarrassed.
"'Dose movies were cool, okay? And besides," he nodded, grinning smugly, "'Dey had some pretty hot chicks in 'dem, amirite?" A cry of general agreement went up from the crowd.
After some thought, Gex placed his five new battalions into a territory bordering Rohan, and another one into one his places in Arnor. Instead of going for Rohan, though, he went for the single territory Kamina held in Rhovanion. He promptly lost, much to Kamina's delight.
Gex scowled, and went for one of Simon's territories in Arnor. Much to his and Cynder's delight, he won on the first try and quickly took it with one of his horsemen. Feeling confident, he attempted to invade Simon's only other territory, and Simon and his team held their breath.
The let it out when, even after two attempts, Gex lost and had to retreat with a grumble.
Cynder played her final Adventure Card, an extra two battalions in Arnor, and tried to think about her choices.
'If I place more battalions in my place in Mirkwood,' she htought, 'I could invade Kamina's linking territory from both sides, preventing any further attacks of his on my territories in Rohan!'
After three separate rolls, she was reconsidering her options, having lost all attempted invasions. So, instead, she went after more territory in Rohan again, grinning as she quickly won back the territory Simon had taken not one round ago. Feeling confident again, she went after the territory Kamina held she'd tried to take over several seconds ago, this time using her place in Arnor.
The first roll was two-on-two- A tie, which meant she lost, and then she won. It was down to one of Kamina's soldier's and three of hers. Everybody leaned in, intent on seeing what happened. Sparx flew over the sea of heads to get an above-ground view.
Second roll was one on one. Cynder huffed, and then rolled as Kamina did. Another tie, and the crowd breathed out heavily. Kamina grinned widely.
"You see? We are the team that will win, because we have the drill that will pierce the heavens!" he thrust his fist into the air, and then beamed across to Simon, "Right, bro?"
"Y-yeah," Simon said sheepishly, and then grew determined, "Yeah! That's right! We're team Dai-Gurren!"
"One more try," Cynder said calmly, shaking the dice in her clawed paw.
Kamina huffed, and then picked up his own dice. They both chucked them onto the remaining inches of the table, and watched as the die settled.
Four to two; Cynder had won.
Sparx and Spyro cheered, and Gex even smiled as she eagerly took Kamina's territory. Kamina was still beaming, though, and he nodded before saying, "A good match indeed! But," his look turned mischievous, "I will take back what it rightfully team Dai-Gurren's!" He held up one of his Advneture Cards, reading 'Captured By Orcs!', "Subtract one from the die roll for the One Ring!"
Cynder rolled the die calmly, still feeling the euphoria of winning her last invasion. A five; the One Ring moved on.
After putting in more battalions, Kamina hurriedly took back the territory Cynder had just taken, and then moved on to conquer he Brownlands. With a huge grin, he also took the back territory of Rhun Hills. He leant back in his chair, causally ending his turn by rolling for the One Ring to move on, whilst Cynder and Gex stared agape at their loss. His hand rolled a three, and the One Ring stayed in Gorgoroth.
Simon put more pieces down on the board, and then tried to get back Cynder's territories, but failed, and with a sigh, finally gave up on conquering all of Rohan. Instead, he tried to help Kamina invade Rhovanion, of which he failed at. He rolled on die, indicating he was done, and opted for the game to finally move on. Once again, however, the dice landed on three, and the One Ring was stuck in Gorgoroth once more.
As Gex placed hs new battalions in his territories in Arnor, Kamina and Simon braced themselves for the inevitable invasion. He quickly took over Simon's remaining Andorian territory, but failed in all respects to get any of Kamina's. Kamina and Simon breathed a sigh of relief as Gex grumbled, and then rolled a five for the One Ring to move on.
Everyone felt their hearts pound inside their chest; this was the final round. This would be the ultimate deciding factor. Even Viral, for all his antisocial tendencies, was leaning in over Simon's shoulder to get a better look at the intense game. Epic music began to blast over the stereo system in accordance with the game. Even babies stopped their crying to watch the game.
Cynder gained her extra pieces, and then moved in to take one of Simon's remaining Rohan territories. Next, she concentrated on taking back the Brownlands, which, after another few close rolls, she took with ease. Rhun Hills was not taken back, much to her chagrin, but she knew she'd wind herself into a corner if she tried to continue, and then didn't roll a number higher than three for the end of this turn. Instead, breathing hard, she picked up one die and cast it.
Everything moved in slow motion, and everybody's eyes followed the die hesitantly, hoping, fearing, the game was finally over.
The die toppled, tumbled, spun, and finally, after a full minute of slow-motion, landed on a six.
Just then, the One Ring moved of its own accord towards Mount Doom. As the One Ring moved towards Mount Doom, the entire Convention Center began to shake. All the cards and plastic battalions from the game began to fly around in the air, creating a hurricane of game pieces, with the One Ring in the eye. Voices, varying from shouting harsh whispers, began to pour from the center of the ring, along with the pounding and whinnying of horses. The entire room seemed to be spinning and joining in, and Sparx was the first to scream, everybody else quickly following suit.
A child, or possibly an old man; it was hard to tell in all that makeup and suit, if it was makeup and a suit; jumepd out from the crowd, crying, "Precioussss!" and latched onto the One Ring. The hurricane grew in its intensity, and then, with a giant, nasty sucking sound, the entire game evaporated into thin air, taking the One Ring and the creature-thing with it.
"Wow," the judge said, most of his hair on one side of his head now, "That was weird."
There was a long period of silence, before two men in black suits came along.
"We're sorry you had to see that," one of them, the older one, said apologetically, "There was one of the games they made that accidentally had the One, True Ring in it, and we tracked it down to here. Looks like you sent it packing back to Middler Earth, though. Good job." he gave the group a thumbs-up, and then he and his compatriot turned and walked off as calmly as they had come in.
"But," Spyro started, still feeling dizzy, "What about that man?"
"Don't worry about him," the agent called back over his shoulder, "He'll be fine."
"Well, uh, who wants to win?" the judge asked.
Although everybody else was too scrambled to understand what the judge had just said, Simon slowly raised his hand, feeling his brain start to unwind.
"Okay, victory goes to team Dai-Gurren! I'm going home." the judge said flatly, taking off his "Judge!" hat and sulking off.
Cynder shook herself, "Wait, what?"
"Nevermind!" Gex said, his brain finally starting to work, "Let's just be glad it just wasn't Jumanji."
Everybody got the reference (save for the rest of the teams themselves), and they nodded, finally snapping out of it.
As the teams shook hands/paws, easing out of the competitive mode, the one thug turned to his companion.
"Hey," he said, "How can we be sure 'dat game didn't got no connection to 'de real Middle Eard'?"
"I dunno man," the other thug said, shrugging, "We may nevah know..."
…::Meanwhile, thousands of worlds away, Middle Earth::...
Aragorn cursed under his breath. Ever since the Orcs had invaded, well, pretty much all of Rohan and Rhovanion, even with the back-and-forth conquering, they'd been forced to hide in Gondor for some time now. The far-and-few-between news they received from Arnor and Mirkwood was not pleasant, either.
Not only that, but Gandalf seemed to be worried and confused at the same time, seeing as to how we was constantly pacing the floor of the room they were staying in.
Gimli, growing ever impatient with Gandalf's pacing, spat out, "What is it, Gandalf! For days, you've been pacing like this, and it's enough to drive a mad dwarf, well, even madder!"
Gandalf paused, brow still furrowed in confusion, "It feels as if...something's wrong with Frodo and Sam. I can't quite explain it."
"What?" Legolas asked, getting up from his corner of the room, "What could possibly go wrong?"
…::Hundreds of Miles Away, in The Shire::..
Sam and Frodo looked around This Shire, laying back in the grass, enjoying the sun.
"Do you think, Mr. Frodo, we should have told them?" Sam asked, glancing at his friend.
"What, about the whole selling-it-to-the-man-in-the-cape thing?" Frodo asked, pursing his lips.
"Well, yeah."
Frodo considered it.
"Nah. Let them find out."
END ROUND TWO
Um, I wanted to play Risk, and up the stakes a little, but...I only have the Lord of the Rings: Trilogy edition, and it's the only version I've ever played, and thus the only one I have to take reference from. I loved doing a "you're all nerds" joke, but it paled in comparison to the idea of Gex getting the pieces stuck to his paws. As such, I had to drag it out and play it with myself to actually write anything down. XD And Monopoly is the most boring game ever. I don't believe I've ever finished a game of it. I think discouraging actual monopoly was the original intention of the game.
And I'm truly sorry, An Ordinary Fan. The past few weeks have been some of the most mentally and physically exhausting ones in my life so far. Hopefully, though, it's all over, and I can find myself and my inspiration again within the next week or so. So, yes, I know I probably got the Gurren characters completely and utterly wrong (which is horrible, because I'm really starting to like the show), but I literally had about one day to do research before I was forced to start this.
I also didn't do descriptions of the Gurren charies because I didn't have enough time. Yes, I'm willing to take the fall for this round in points because I'm too exhausted to care anymore. My brain wants to die right now.
This game relied on the theory that Cynder and Simon are secretly total badass strategists, and while Kamina and Gex aren't stupid, they just don't...take the game as seriously in "war terms" as Cynder and Simon would.
*And yes, I made a reference to E35O's entry, which was awesome and I will review it. I swear I will review everyone's! Maybe. When my brain begins working again.
And it's seriously impossible not to get into this version of the game, especially with LOTR fanboys/girls around. Far too much nerdiness. Far, far, far too much.
I was pretty sure the Defending dice were loaded. They always seemed to land in a tie (which means the Defending side won), or were higher than the Attacking die. WTF.
And I thought I'd try a Jumanji/Zathura ending. COOL, AMIRITE? I blame their geekiness on the One Ring possessing them...preciousssss...Oh, and OpenOffice's Spell Check doesn't have a problem with the LOTR's character's names. You're all nerdssss...