Stockholm Syndrome
A/N: Woohoo! Quick update! Also, WingedSheep, I promise! (holds up pinkie finger with a smile) Please enjoy everyone!
Itachi's POV
I look at my school day planner and I can't help but wonder what everyone elses classes are. I'm not so sure I really and truly want to face my friends and yet at the same time, I miss them a lot and want to see them. I mean, what would they think? I've been gone for- what?- two years? Now just suddenly returning into their lives? Would they even want me back?
"Itachi," dad's even voice comes from behind me. I turn to look at him. He's all dressed up for work. Mom used to be very uncool with the idea of dad being a police officer but now she's ok, though we all know she worries, still. "I take it, you'll be going to school?"
I nod.
"I guess that means you'll walk with Sasuke?"
I nod again.
Mom is being over-protective. She doesn't seem to notice that Sasuke isn't 5 years old anymore. I think, she's been trying to get through me coming back in an awkward way. I think she is try to substitute the messed up 17 year old me with the innocent 7 year old me. In doing so, she must also substitute the mentally scarred 15 year old Sasuke with the sweet innocent 5 year old Sasuke.
Because she is so protective, she doesn't have enough room in her own body so she stores some of it in dad.
"Itachi doesn't need to walk me to school." Sasuke pouts entering the kitchen. I give him a sideways look. "I'm a big boy. Have been sense I learned how to wipe my own ass."
Dad sighs. "I understand that, Sasuke. But you know your mother, she would sleep a lot better knowing that you two were with one another."
I tilt my head.
Sasuke looks at me and sighs. "Mother must get the serenity that she wants, right?"
If we want her to stay sane, yes. I don't say. I shrug instead.
Wait, sane? When was mother ever sane? She's always been off the walls. I mean, not that she belongs in a wacky bin but like she has been paranoid a lot ever sense I was like 10, although now she is like 'I- have- a- secret- I- can't- tell' Kind of girl.
Sasuke shrugs back. "Whatever, I guess."
Dad sighs again. "Itachi, Sasuke, please, don't stress your mother out any more than she already is."
Sasuke throws his hands up. "What? I didn't do anything!"
Dad runs a hand through his hair. "Sasuke, it's not about what you did or didn't do. Your mother and I have been stressed out a lot because of Itachi's therapy, the Press, and media. Can we please handle this like a family?" he asks.
Sasuke looks like father smacked him. Dad had said the magic words.
"...Itachi's therapy...."
No matter how hard I try to tell myself that I'm ok, I know I'm not. I can't even bring myself to talk to my family. I've worried that if I do, then everything I've bottle in myself from that night will come back.
That's not normal and I know it. So does everyone else in the world. They know I have something to tell but am so afraid to talk that I can't even talk to doctors or even my parents. Not even Sasuke. Sasuke, my beloved little brother. I used to be able to talk to him about anything at any time.
I'm sick and saying "....Itachi's therapy..." is every-ones way of saying it. It hurts a little but their right. I'm sick and I'm not getting better. Why is that? Is it because I'm trying to keep myself safe?
Selfish....
My heart tightens. That's right. I'm selfish. A selfish child. That poor boy.... he will never be avenged because I'm afraid to tell someone that he was.....
Blood everywhere. A dark alley. Someone calling for help.
A scream. My eyes widen. A familiar scream. A sob. A familiar sob. Who was that?
It comes again. Sad, pitiful. Belonging to a child with something to hide. That must mean that the person who is crying is me. I am the child that has something to hide.
What confirmed my thoughts was the wetness on my face, and my brother and dad at my side.
I'm crying? How selfish.... I'm a selfish child.... a monstrous child.....
I need to tell.... I have to let someone know....
Blood everywhere. Begs for mercy.
I through my hands over my face as I feel uncontrollable shacking go through my body.
Selfish....
Selfish....
Selfish!
Sasuke's POV
I can't believe what I'm seeing before me. My emotionless brother, now reduced to tears.
My first thought was, 'Am I dreaming?'
Then I realise I'm not when Itachi falls to his knees and let's out a heartbreaking sob. Before I realise it, I'm at his side crying to calm him down and stop the raging tears on my part as well.
Why do I cry at such a time?
Maybe it's because, Itachi is the strongest brother out of the two of us. Now after living with this for two years, he's finally taken in the fact that what he saw is in fact hurting him.
I could be wrong....
Dad's on the phone, calling Itachi's therapist. Mom is rushing down the stairs to see what was happening. The maids and butlers join the scene as well.
How many can say they got to see one of their Master's broke down and started to cry at the wee morning hours.
Mother gathers Itachi into her arms and she starts to whisper to him like she oftendid when one of us was angry and upset. After a few minutes, dad joins her when he gets off the phone with Tsunade, Itachi's therapist.
Tears stream down Itachi's cheeks. His eyes trained on me. Uncharacteristically large. He reaches out toward me, slowly. His sobs come to a halt, abruptly.
He touches my cheek, slowly, gently. His eyes widen more, if that's possible.
He pulls his hand away to look at it, cautiously. Whatever he sees, he doesn't like at all. He throws his hands over his face and starts to sob again, muttering "Selfish..... selfish..... selfish!" under his breath.
Tsunade arrives about 10 minutes later.
She takes him into the office room and sits with him. She stays there and talks with him for about 20 minutes before stepping out and coming to the living room where my parents and I wait the news.
We all look at her eagerly as she enters the room. She looks tired. She must of had trouble sleeping the night before.
"He's calm as of right now." she announces.
"What happened?" Mom exclaims, climbing to her feet. "What's wrong with him? What happened? Tell me!"
Tsunade blinks like she barely caught what mom said. Dad grabs mom's hand and makes her sit back down next to him.
"Oh... uhm.... well..." Tsunade mumbles like she can't quiet find the words to explain it.
"Tsunade," mom says slowly. "What is wrong with my baby?"
Tsunade sighs. "It was just a panic attack, in a way."
"What's that suppose to mean?" I ask.
Tsunade bites her lip. "Well, you see, he seemed to have created a mental image of that night in his head and applied it to the world around him at the present time and just couldn't hold in his fear. He let out that fear in the only way his body could think to; through his tears." she explains.
"But, Itachi wasn't much of a crier. He was more of a 'suffer in silence' kind of boy." dad says.
Tsunade raises an eyebrow. "I figured that one out on my own." She says sourly. "But, suffering in silence wasn't an option his mental state could take. He felt non-physical pain and he had to release it in some way. He has completely stopped himself from speaking so he got it out with his tears." she explains.
"But," I cut in. "He was saying 'selfish' nearing the end of his breakdown."
Tsunade nods. "I heard it when I walked in. I have a theory on that, I think- no- most mentally unstable patients have a tendency to blame themselves with what happened and want to make such non-physical pain that they feel a real pain. Although, I don't believe Itachi is that mentally broken to go that kind of extreme."
Mom and dad share a look.
"So, what do we do? Itachi wanted to go to school today." mom mumbles.
"It's his final year, I think he wants to share it with his friends." dad adds.
Tsunade nods. "I know that too. I think it would be a good idea to send Itachi to school. He needs to get his education, plus he needs to be around his friends. I believe you told the principal and teachers of his problem in the vocal category?" she says pointedly, eyeing mom and dad slowly.
They nod.
"The Principal and teachers are all aware of Itachi's mental condition." Dad says.
I flinch. I wish dad would refrain from saying 'mental condition'. It makes it seem like Itachi is sick.
I refuse to believe my brother is mentally sick and broken in some way. I want to believe that he is going through some kind of phase and that it'll be over with soon, but I know that it's just wishful thinking.
Itachi is sick, and there is nothing I can do. He wont talk to me, what am I to do?
"So, it's safe for Itachi to go to school today?" mom says unsure. Tsunade nods.
"Yes, but I think one of you should be on standby until he's gotten back into the rhythm of school life again." she says.
Mom and dad seem very uneasy with the idea of sending Itachi to school but they agree to let him go none the less. Itachi disappears and heads upstairs before I can see him again. When I go up to get changed, his door is locked and he isn't willing to open up for me, so I leave him alone and go to change.
Itachi doesn't come down till like 5 minutes before we were to leave for school. Mom and dad come to see us off. Mom bursts into a fit of sorrowful tears. Itachi looks impassive and blank, like this morning never happened. For a moment, I almost forgot that it did. Almost. Not quite forgotten completely.
The walk to school was full of an uncomfortable silence.
I hate uncomfortable silences. Especially if it's between Itachi and I.
A/N: How was that? Please rate and review! Have a good day!