Editor's Note:

This is just one part of a deranged fangirl's mind, and there will be some discrepencies. We apologize. ~Dark

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, or anything I quote here and after.

Chapter 3: Lifeline

"So you mean to tell me that Hetalia is an anime-slash-manga series that teaches history through comedy and homosexuality?"

Mark sighed. "Yes, Mia, as I have told you for at least the fifth time today, that is what it is." He put his hands on his hips in that certain way that showed that certain gay quality. Mark stared at me with an impatient look on his face.

I paused for a bit, running it over again in my head before I teased, "Wha…?" He threw his arms up in frustration, and I broke into laughter and apologized.

"So, I just ordered one of the scariest members of Hetalia and he has to live with us because we can't kick him out into the snow?"

"Yes, because that'd be mean, Mia. Bad Mia." He joking scolded me, shaking his finger at me. We both giggled until we heard a light, low laugh coming from the doorway. I turned at jumped slightly at the look on the said Russians face.

Mark stuttered slightly, but he recovered. "Would you like to have something to eat, Ivan?" The Russian nodded his head. Mark lead him to kitchen and I followed them, Dreizehn at my heels.

I whined, "Jak, do I really have to come in to work today, or is it that you want to take my family alone time from me to be with your boyfriend?" I stood in the kitchen, a hand on my hip, the other holding the phone, and ignoring the feeling of someone staring at me.

"Do you have to play the guilt trip card, Lynn? You're one of the best mechanics we got, and the new intern likes to learn from you."

I glared at nothing. "You mean the gross, smells-like-your-gym-socks man who doesn't learn anything because he spends the entire time staring at my butt? No." Again a small trickle of sinister laughter echoed in the kitchen. "Besides, we have a new housemate to get to know. And I kinda want to have a day off, ya know?"

Pause. A sigh. "Alright, Lynn, if that's what you want. I'll just teach the intern today. But I swear 'ta God, if he looks at my butt, I'll give 'im somethin' to look at."

I giggled, and we bid our farewells, and I hung up. The sinister laughing had stopped, and the house was eerily quiet. I had a feeling that that Russian dude would just jump out at me and try to scare me. Ha. Let's see him try.

I grabbed the closest thing to me like a weapon, which just happened to be a plastic spork. 'What! Why do we have a spork?' I looked around, and could not find anything better. So off I went to defend myself with my trusty spork.

Rounding around the corner, there was no foreigner in site. "What?" I whispered. Wasn't he just here, like, 5 seconds ago? I tiptoed into the living room to find the said object of interest sitting on the couch, watching American cartoon shows, above all else. Relaxing at his non-frightening position on the couch, I placed my useless spork onto the coffee table. "You sure you want to watch this stuff? We could go run some errands, and I could show you around Vancouver."

He looked at me, and nodded yes.

We could've taken bikes, but the only working bikes that were here were the Minsk and the Vespa. I mean, I don't think he has a driver's license anyways. And things would've looked funny with a small (Shut up. I have muscles) 5'3" girl driving a motorcycle with an easily 6 foot man hugging her waist as a passenger.

No. We took my Kia Forte, and we drove off the resort towards the city.

Mark had come back from his class early, but he just was ending his nap when we entered the front door to the private lodge.

"What do you guys want for dinner? Oh, and I've got a movie picked out for tonight. A classmate recommended it." He yawned, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

I smiled at him. "Maybe some poutine? Introduce Ivan to some good Canadian food."

He smiled back. "I'll whip something up."

"HELP!" I screeched into the receiver, cuddled into my small closet. I whispered into the phone after screeching, "Help me...please Kara..."

How did this happen? How did the tough one out the twins get reduced to curling up in her closet calling her best friend for help? It all started with the stupid movie Mark's friend lended to him. Hostel. Blegh.

Mark fainted halfway through the movie, and I was plagued to watch the rest of the movie sitting to what was a complete stranger who just happened to be a sadist. During one of the more graphic scenes, I turned my head over to look at Ivan. He sat there with the creepiest grin I had ever seen in my life, and I knew that I would have nightmares that night. Mark was smart to spend the rest of the movie after he recovered to go and fix dessert, but why did he leave his twin in there with the creepy guy?

Which is why I'm calling my good friend Kara to save me from that man while he's taking a bath.

"Did you really have to yell in my ear first? By the way, who is this? "

"Kara...it's Lynn...You don't remember me? " I whimpered.

"Oh. Hi Lynn. Wait, why are you whispering? "

I looked around in fear. "Cause I'm hiding from the creepy Russian houseguest and from Mark."

"Russian houseguest? " A pause. "What's his name? "

I paused. "Ivan Braginski... .."

"Oh no."

My whispering stopped, and I asked in a stern tone. "What."

"I didn't think that . . ." She groaned and started a thumping sound from across the line. "They are a virus."

"What...wait... ...you don't mean..." My spirits fell even lower.

"Yep, it's exactly what you think." She sighed.

I let out a low whine while I face palmed myself. "Damn it. There went my escape plan..."

"Escape . . ." She growled. I heard a crash from the other line. "What the hell did you do this time Gilbert?" A male voice. "I didn't do shit!" Another. "Sorry!"

"What broke? !" She turned her attention back to me, "Sorry."

"Shit." I cursed. "Is that what I'll get for accidentally clicking that stupid button? !"

"Do you still want to come over? I have plenty of room."

"So do I. But I think I can come over, see what I'll be getting into," I sighed. Then I added below my breath, "...and maybe get front row seats to some very bloody scenes from the mastermind of violence Kara..."

"Thanks Lynn." She grumbled. "Anyways, you will love the fact that basically everybody in my house wants to kill each other. Oh, you probably could have drinking buddies."

I perked up, only to have my head hit the ceiling of my closet. "Ouch...What was that about drinking buddies? " I smiled rubbing my head.

"Majority, if not all of my new house mates loves to drink." She sighed, possibly remembering something that had happened in the past. "Anyways, if you wanna come over then you can. Besides, it's been how long since we hanged out? "

I thought about it for a while. "I think it was 5 months ago,...on my birthday."

"5 months? " She gasped. I then heard a thwack, and the sound of running feet. "Oh MY GOD!"

"Oh god what just happened."

"That stupid Russian whacked me in the head with his facet pipe! If you come over then you will have the pleasure of me getting angry constantl . . . ah!"

I laughed. "Well, I better let the boys know that I'll be riding over to your place tomorrow, let them have a boys day on the slopes. Of course, I am better than both of them, I bet."

"Yong- Soo stop groping me!"

"Daze!"

"Oh wow...there are units like that? "

"Yes, well at least Yong- Soo is. I'm not so sure about Gilbert, he hasn't made a move yet . . ."

"Well, I better go before Mark goes on a nagging rampage about me not wanting to eat his hard work...See you tomorrow!"

"Bring some! I miss Maj's cooking! Only try to bring enough for at least 10 people!"

I laughed. "Okay, I'll tell him to fix his best meal for tomorrow to bring to you. Bye."

"Laters."

Author's Note: OH GOD I'M SO SORRY ITS LATE DDDDDD; Writer's Block standing on piles of late homework is hard on one person. But nonetheless, stay tuned for a collab with EliteKessu! Go read her story Why Me? for the other side of the story!

Go look up Hostel if you want to know.

EDIT (FEB252011) : Hey guys, I wanted to update a couple of things. I am working on chapter 4, and I am very sorry for the wait!