OK. So in my procrastination I completed the third chapter….I am a baaaad student XD and I got scolded for the cliffhanger so this will be published so they don't scold me again ^^ I hope everyone likes this chapter….Now I need to get back to my German homework .
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Dear Diary,
MORNING AFTER
I woke up this morning and I feel like last night was just a dream. A wonderful dream that turned into somewhat of a nightmare I might add. I was there with all of my friends as you well know, and we met up with the boy group. At first this was great; everyone was talking, dancing, and having a good time. Then someone tapped me on my shoulder. It was Gilbert of course and he asked me to dance; he was looking nervous and there was a faint blush on his cheeks. It was cheesy, but adorable. As we danced the next dance (of course it was a slow one) we started to talk. At first he seemed flustered and didn't know what to do.
What happened to his "awesome" routine?
Anyways, slowly I started to understand him. His family didn't like their freak of a first son. They sent him away because they feared him (it was his hair and eyes). As time went on we got closer and closer to each other and near the end of it I was practically hugging him while we swayed to the music. Then he said my name and I looked up. I saw my reflection in his eyes and before I knew it we were leaning close, eyes closing, and then I felt his lips on mine. I felt like time stopped and stood still. My brain was running a mile a minute until an image of Roderich appeared and then it came to a crashing stop. Why did I kiss Gilbert? I pulled away from gilbert shocked, face flushed (and matching his) I remember feeling wetness on my cheek and then I slapped him. It was very audible and the whole room heard. I think I ran out crying.
How could I do this to Roddy, who has been nothing but kind to me? It was just a stupid night and I was affected by the music and the lights. At midnight everything fell apart and I ran home rather than face the questions of my friends. That kiss meant nothing; my feelings are the same as ever, I love Roderich. Right?...
Dear Diary,
AFTER SCHOOL MONDAY
I couldn't look at Roderich today! I didn't even congratulate him for getting first place for his recital. I was a cheater. Gil avoided me just as much as I avoided Roddy. We ran into each other on the way to the bus loop and all of my books fell, even you diary. Face red, I didn't look up at him while I gathered everything up. Then his hand touched mine as we reached for you. When I looked up I saw he was red too. We stared at each other till the bell signaling the buses leaving went off. He swore and I sighed. We were forced to walk home together. He did offer to carry my books, but I denied. We continued to walk in silence till he spoke the words, "I'm sorry". I was shocked. He went on rambling saying "he had no right" and he knows that "you're attached" his voice died down as we neared our houses. We stopped at the front of mine. He hesitated and kissed me on the cheek mumbling that I deserved better. I am ashamed that as he walked I touched the spot he kissed. I knew that my face was flushed and things were changing. And I hate myself for it. Roderich is perfect. Roderich is smart. Roderich is safe. Oh no….did I just write that? It's not true, I'm not with him because he's safe. I'm with Roddy because he's nice, romantic, and I care about him. Gilbert is just a fascination, a grass is greener thing. I'll get over it and remain happily together with Roddy; I swear it.
Dear Diary,
LATER
I think Roderich knows something's up, he texted me asking if we could "talk". I know what that means. We are meeting up tomorrow morning for breakfast before school. Maybe I'm being paranoid….
Dear Diary,
IN CLASS, NEXT MORNING
Roderich showed up late to our meeting. By the time he had gotten there I was done eating and waiting there looking like a fool. His explanation? He was practicing and lost track of time. That's all he does is practice! We never go on dates during recital season because it's his future. I understand that. But I want time set aside for me too. And I told him that. Then he angrily told me he heard what had happened and asked why I was hiding it. I lost it. I stood up slamming my hands on the table. And basically told him that I hadn't because the kiss was an accident and it didn't change anything between us so I saw no need to tell him. I then told him if he couldn't trust me it was over, and I stormed out. Why did I do that? I walked out on the one guy who cared about me.
When he came into the classroom he walked to the back of the room, furthest from me, and sat next to his childhood friend, Vash. I guess this means we are over….. I think Gilbert saw me look away from Roderich. I am trying not to cry. I will write later. The teacher arrived.
Dear Diary,
AFTER SCHOOL
Well, by the end of the school day everyone knew Roderich and I broke up. My friends all came over to make sure I was ok, and they remembered to bring chocolate. I sent them all home, I wanted to be alone. I'm watching chick flicks munching on chocolate and popcorn. It's very soothing. Hold on, the doorbell just went off again…..
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Heh. So I set myself up to be scolded again, but it's a good way to finish a chapter and make myself type more….i might even finish the fourth chapter before I go home for spring break tomorrow XP I hope everyone liked this chapter, I made it longer! :D well, till I update again…..ciao!~