THE LION, THE CAT AND THE TURTLES

Based on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird

and

The Chronicles of Narnia
by C. S. Lewis.

CHAPTER TEN:
The Flying Litter

Tashbaan, the capital city of Calormen, has been described as "one of the wonders of the world." Opinions vary on this, but surrounded as it is by the great river that washes the mighty city gates, and filled as it is with magnificent palaces and gardens, Tashbaan is certainly one of the grandest cities of that world, and visitors and newcomers are often overwhelmed by its splendor.

At least, they are when they see it from a distance. It's slightly different when they actually enter it, because - particularly in the lower parts of the city, far away from the palace of the Tisroc and the temple of Tash - Tashbaan is also without comparison the most crowded, noisiest, smelliest place in all of Calormen.

Here, the cries of water-sellers, merchants and beggars mix with the barking of dogs, whinnying of horses and cries of "Way, way, way for the Tarkaan" or "Way, way, way for the Seventh Vizier" - for in Tashbaan there is only one traffic rule, namely that everyone has to yield for those who are more important than them. Which is all well and good if you're a Tarkaan or an Ambassador or anything like that, but if you're a commoner, a poor man or a humble merchant, it can get tiresome to constantly get out of the way and press yourself against house walls in the narrowest streets just because a huge procession carrying a Tarkeena is going past. And of course, complaining doesn't help at all, unless you think it helps to receive sharp jabs from the blunt end of a spear.

Still, the Calormenes love their capital city and wouldn't want it any other way.

And for hundreds, even thousands of years, it has remained one of the true unchangeables of the world. No matter what may happen to the nobles and Tisrocs of Calormen, the ones who think themselves so important, Tashbaan life is unstoppable - even if a Tisroc should die or, say, incidentally get revealed as a usurper and fake, it's hardly enough to stop the daily lives of the commoners in the city for very long. The Tisroc may be gone, but there are still families to be fed, horses to be shod, slaves to be ordered around, gardens to be tended, food to be grown, wares to be sold and bought.

And this day, as any other day, all these things were happening in abounds in Tashbaan, the current happenings of the Palace of the Tisroc, which were to play such an important role in Calormen history, never even realized by the common man in the street at the time.

Neither was the fact that high above them, at this very moment, a huge litter, of the very type that the Tisroc himself used to travel in whenever he left his palace, was flying through the air - not carried by slaves, as is the usual way for litters like that to be moved forward, but flying like a bird, seemingly under its own power. It was a sight that would have shocked and confused the citizens of Tashbaan, if any of them had looked up during the very short time it took for the fast-moving litter to fly over the city.

As it was, the only one who saw the strange sight was a captain of the City Watch, who had just taken a break from his demanding duties with a few glasses of wine down at an inn, and who upon seeing the flying litter immediately went to dunk his head in cold water and swear to himself, by the gods and the sun and the moon and the stars, that he would never drink on the job again.

(The resolve lasted one week, after which he once again got blind drunk and fell asleep on the job, but that doesn't really have anything to do with this story.)

On the roof of the flying litter, invisible even to the drunk captain, a dark-skinned Djinn sat cross-legged, starting fixedly ahead as they flew - and inside, in between a myriad of soft pillows, a woman, a Rat and two Turtles were making themselves as comfortable as they could.

"Y'know," said Raphael, leaning back amongst the pillows. "When that genie said she'd provide us with transportation, I was certain it'd be a flyin' carpet."

"Well," said Donatello thoughtfully, "probably a carpet wouldn't be as convenient as this. It'd probably be cold, and windy, and much easier to fall off, especially if it was going as fast as we seem to be doing now." He glanced out the side entrance, where the curtains were whipping in the wind. "Funny how you never think about those details when you hear the stories. You think Asheena's all right up there?"

"I think so, Donatello," said Splinter. "From what I surmise, you cannot hold a Djinn to the same physical laws as everyone else."

"Yeah." April toyed with the wooden box, still in her hand. "I have to say, I'm not crazy about this 'Slave-Djinn' business, though. The fact that she has to obey every whim of whoever carries this box..."

"Not exactly a cheerful prospect," Don agreed. "And from what she said, that trick of 'wishing her free', like in that movie, won't work..."

"No?"

"Unbreakable curse, remember? But... you know, there is another, very simple solution to it. You see -" Don was interrupted here by Asheena, who appeared next to them in a puff of red smoke.

"We are now over the desert," she announced. "Oh, I do beg your pardon," she added as the Turtle started coughing, having inhaled some of the smoke. "Here." She snapped her fingers and handed the suddenly-materialized goblet over to him, as the smoke cleared and vanished far quicker than any amount of smoke, however small, has any right to.

Don sipped from the goblet and cleared his throat a little before looking at his drink in what looked like pleasant surprise. "Not bad," he said. "What is it?"

"Diamond juice," said Asheena. "It is very rare, from the deep underground kingdom of Bism. Ardazhin was very partial to it."

"Diamond juice? Why's it called that?"

"Because it is squeezed from diamonds, of course."

Don opened his mouth, shut it again, then opened it again. "Ask a silly question..." he muttered.

"Not ta be rude or anything," Raph interrupted, looking at Asheena, "but if you're in here, who's drivin' this thing?"

"No-one. I have enchanted the litter to take us straight to where your brother is, and so it will." Asheena smiled. "And so, we shall cross the desert and enter Narnia in style! True, we have no carriers, or guards, or criers, or dancing slave girls to accompany us, but who needs those things when we are soaring through the air, faster than any eagle could fly?"

"And you're certain it'll take us to Leo?"

"Absolutely. We know that he is here in this world, and unless I am much mistaken, there are not too many of your kind even in Narnia - so all I needed to do was set a basic tracking spell." Asheena made a sweeping gesture with her hands. "Please, relax! We shall have crossed the desert in an hour or so, and after that, Archenland will take less than half that time, and then - Narnia!"

"Not very far, is it?" said Donatello, having decided to take another sip of the alleged diamond juice.

"No more than a few days' travel away, even for those who travel by slower means than we do now," said Asheena. "Over the desert, and as the horse runs, two or three days - four, at the most. The countries are closer than most Calormenes think."

"I did wonder about that." Don looked at her curiously. "If the lands are so close to one another, then how come the climates are so different as you say they are? If I understand you correctly, Narnia and Archenland have a much colder climate, even with snow in the winter... and all that separates the two is this desert? How does that work?"

"I would not know," said Asheena, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "There is an old story, though, that claims that the desert was created back when this world was still young, during this world's first and only open battle between Tash and Alan. The story goes that the two fought, without pause, for three days and three nights... who came out of the fight as the victor depends whether you ask a Narnian or a Calormenese, though."

"The Calormenes say that Tash sent Aslan packing, and the Narnians claim that Aslan kicked Tash's keister?" said Raphael with a smirk.

"More or less," said Asheena. "The area where they had fought, though, had been completely destroyed... thereby creating the very desert we are flying over now; vast and lifeless. Such is the power of Aslan... and of Tash." She smiled. "Of course, the Narnians go on to say that Aslan returned afterwards and created the great oasis in the middle of the desert... a place of lush greens, fresh water and sweet fruits. To remind people that hope springs eternal and even in places of death you may find life."

"Very poetic," said Raph. "Is that story even true?"

Asheena shrugged. "Who knows? But they say that the Tombs of the Ancient Kings, which we left behind a while ago, were raised at the edge of the desert for all those who fell in that battle. The people of Tashbaan still swear that the Tombs are haunted to this very day, and do not go near them if they can help it."

"Yet they built their city within walking distance from them," said Splinter, sounding somewhat amused.

"I believe that was mostly for keeping an eye on the ghouls, should they ever get it into their heads to leave the Tombs," said Asheena. "As far as I know, this has not happened yet. O highly esteemed Tashbaan, wonder of the world," she added, almost to herself. "Tashbaan of the white walls, the lemon trees and the crowded streets. Tashbaan of the thousand stories, the ten thousand lies and the hundred thousand superstitions. Though my life within your walls was slavery, I shall miss you greatly."

"Asheena," said April, looking a little guilty. "You don't have to say goodbye to your home forever. There's nothing to stop you from returning here afterwards - I mean, after you've helped us find Leonardo and gotten us back to our own world, you could easily..."

"You are most generous," said Asheena. "But I will go where my Mistress goes. Should your path lead to another world, then so shall mine. Besides," she added, "I doubt I'll be welcome in Tashbaan for the future, now that the entire story with my magic having enchanted everyone into accepting Ardazhin as Tisroc is out."

"But you weren't doing it of your own free will," said April. "Doesn't that count for something?"

Asheena shook her head. "Whether I did it willingly or not is beside the point. I still did it. My fellow wives, the slaves, the sons and daughters... they will want nothing more to do with me. To them, I shall forever remain the Djinn who robbed them of their free will." For a moment, there was a glimmer of sadness in her eyes, but then she pulled herself together. "But let us not think of that now. Ardazhin has been removed from the throne, and hopefully whoever they chose as his successor will rule Calormen wisely... that would make up for at least some of it."

"It is in their hands now," said Splinter calmly. "We had no right to make that decision for them."

"Very true," said Asheena. "But," she added, changing the subject, "that was not why I came down here in the first place. We still have an hour's journey or so ahead of us, so... is anyone hungry? I can provide you with any food or drink you may desire!"

Raph grinned. "Any chance a' some pizza?"

All in all, despite the very strange circumstances, it was a very pleasant trip; not unlike how Donatello had always imagined it must be to fly First Class on a plane - just minus the seat belts and the roar of the engines. Oh, and Asheena's outfit would probably not have been found on your average airline stewardesses, even in the more relaxed planes.

After a very nice meal; food that Asheena conjured up from thin air but still tasted exactly like normal food - even the pizza Raph had wanted had, after a few false starts (because Asheena hadn't known what a pizza was and needed a fair bit of description), turned out pretty good - they told the genie their full story, a story she took great interest in, claiming that she had never heard of any place like New York. Every so often, when there was a natural break in the story, she would poof away to the roof of the litter and stay there for a minute or two, and then return with the report that they were still going in the right direction.

But the fourth time, she returned with a bit of a frown on her face.

"This is extremely odd," she said.

"What is?" Don asked, beginning to feel a little anxious.

"If you take a look down, you will see that at present, we have left the desert and are flying above the sea," said Asheena. "And this puzzles me. We were going over the desert. We shouldn't have gone anywhere near the sea."

"So what you're saying is that we're going the wrong way?" Don's feeling of anxiety increased. Was it really, when everything was said and done, a good idea to trust too much to magic?

"The tracking spells confirm that we are indeed going to your brother," said Asheena. "But it seems as though he has left Narnia for some reason... or perhaps... oh, no, that would be the explanation," she suddenly said, her frown vanishing.

"What?" April, Raph and Don chorused.

"He must be located at the Lone Islands! They are part of Narnia, and still pay tribute to the Narnian throne, even if they are located much further East!" Asheena smiled. "I was a little worried for a moment there. Still, if we are headed for the Lone Islands, I think we had better increase our speed, lest the journey should take days!"

"Are you sure about this?" said Don. "I mean, yes, I suppose it's possible that Leo is at these Lone Islands, since nobody said exactly where in Narnia he was supposed to be, but... you're absolutely certain we're not just being led on a wild goose chase here?"

"As certain as I am of anything," said Asheena. "May my Mistress chose a suitable punishment for me if I am lying."

"Um, that won't be necessary," April hurried to say. "Take it easy, Don. I'm sure we're on the right track."

Don, however, couldn't help but feel that something was off. Exchanging glances with Splinter after Asheena had vanished up on the roof to keep lookout again, he could see that the old rat had his doubts as well. "What do you say, Master Splinter?" he asked.

"I am not certain, Donatello. I do not think Asheena is trying to deceive us, neither do I think the magic is defective. But there is something that does not feel quite right about this."

"Yer sayin' that we are on a wild goose chase, Master Splinter?" Raphael shot in, frowning.

Splinter thought. "No," he finally said. "I do not think we are. Still, since it appears we will be sitting here for somewhat longer than we anticipated, I believe I will attempt meditating upon it. I feel as though there is something here we are missing... perhaps I can sort it out."

A silence rose among the other three as he sat up, cross-legged, and closed his eyes.

After a while, Asheena reappeared, looking even more puzzled than before. "I do not wish to alarm you," she said, "but..." she paused, looking at the still Splinter. "Pardon my ignorance, but what is he doing?"

"Meditating," said April. "Don't worry about it, just keep your voice down. What was it you wanted to say?"

"Well, Mistress," said Asheena, dropping her voice to a near-whisper, "I just wanted to say that we have just passed the Lone Islands. The tracking spell says that your companion, your brother, is further Eastwards still."

Raph and Don exchanged glances.

"What comes after the Lone Islands?" said Don. "Any more Narnian land?"

Asheena frowned. "There are islands and lands beyond even the Lone Islands," she said, "but most of them are uninhabited, and I do not think any of them are actually under Narnia." She shook her head. "If this continues, we shall end up in Aslan's country."

"Is that good or bad?" said Don.

"That does depend on how you view it," said Asheena. "As I told you earlier, Aslan's country is said to be a wondrous place, but none who entered it ever returned - at least, none that I ever heard of."

"So now Leo's in a place that nobody ever returned from?" said Raph. "This just keeps gettin' better and better, don't it?"

"Michelangelo..." Splinter opened his eyes.

Everyone turned to look at him.

"That is what felt off," he said in a quiet voice. "The tracking spell is not leading us to Leonardo, it is leading us to Michelangelo."

"Ya mean Mike's in this world too?" said Raph. "I thought he stayed behind in ours! What's he doin' out at sea?"

"That, I cannot say," said Splinter, turning his head to look at Asheena, who seemed as confused and flustered as the rest.

"I - I have no explanation," said the Djinn nervously. "I thought... I enchanted this litter to fly directly to the nearest, how do you say, Ninja Turtle. That should have been your brother in Narnia."

"Is it possible that your magic may have failed?" said Splinter, worry etched on his face.

"I suppose it could have." Asheena looked miserable. "Perhaps Narnia can't be reached by my magic. I am a Djinn, after all. Perhaps Aslan has decided once and for all that he does not want my kind in Narnia."

"But he wanted us to - I'm gettin' a headache," Raph moaned. "If I ever meet that Lion, I'm gonna ask 'im where he keeps his brains. For someone who wants ta help, he sure ain't bein' very helpful. So what do we do now?"

For a moment, Splinter looked torn between the options. Then he sighed, getting a look of steely resolve in his eyes. "We will keep going. There is a possibility that the spell is leading us to Michelangelo because Michelangelo needs us the most."

"And Leo...?" said April.

Splinter's expression was worried and sorrowful, but determined. "We shall have to pray that he can manage without us for a while longer."

In another time and place, several leagues to the East of both Narnia and Calormen, a talking Mouse was leading an old woman and a mutant Turtle (with a small cat perching on his shoulder) down a gentle hill and towards a sandy shore where brilliant, glittering blue waves were gently washing the land.

It was, Michelangelo thought, beautiful - as if taken straight out of some exotic travel program where the host talks at length about how peaceful and serene the world is.

He noted to himself as they walked, that while everything was very silent, and the path Reepicheep was leading them down didn't look well-used at all, the rest of the landscape bore clear signs of people. The vegetation looked suspiciously well-groomed and cared for; with neatly mowed grass and, a little bit further down, trees were standing in an orderly row - like soldiers on guard - and, as far as Mike knew, that sort of thing just doesn't happen in nature.

"Hope the mouse isn't expecting us to swim," said Klunk from his shoulder. "This is leading right down to the water, and I don't see any boats about."

"It'll be fine, don't worry," said Mike, trying to sound a bit more certain of this than he really was. "Hey, while we're on the subject, what is it with cats and water anyway?"

"If you'd ever experienced how freezing cold wet fur gets, you wouldn't even ask the question." Klunk looked over at the seashore getting closer by the second, and grimaced slightly. "Hey, mouse -"

Reepicheep stopped and turned towards them, his expression a mixture of weariness and annoyance in roughly equal part. "I do have a name, cat," he said. "Is it too much to ask for you to remember it?"

"I'll start using your name when you start using mine!" said Klunk sourly.

"I shall start addressing you properly when you cease your insults!"

"Well, I'll stop doing that when -"

"Will both of you just quit it?" sighed Susan, who had stopped when Reepicheep did.

"My apologies, your Majesty," said Reepicheep immediately. "You're quite right, we have more urgent matters to tend to." (Klunk muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "suck-up," but luckily Reepicheep didn't seem to have heard.) "It is here at the shore we shall meet up with some friends of mine."

"Friends, by the shore? Are they merpeople?" said Susan, looking interested.

"Hardly that, your Majesty." Reepicheep, moving down to the water, stopping just far enough up on the shore that the waves wouldn't reach him, stuck his paw in his mouth and whistled.

For a moment, nothing happened. But then, a faint sound was heard from somewhere out there; a whistling sound that was just different enough from Reepicheep's that it couldn't be an echo. And then, as if out of nowhere, four figures appeared on the horizon.

At first, Mike thought they were small humans in canoes or something like that, but then he realized to his surprise that what he'd thought were canoes were, in reality, huge shoes. The creatures, whatever they were, looked human enough from the waist-up, but instead of two legs, each of them only had one really thick leg centered in the middle of the body, and enormous singular feet that, with their vaguely boat-like shoes, floated on the water just as easily as real boats would have.

All four were paddling towards the shore now, using large wooden oars and going at such a speed that an Olympic rower would have been green with envy.

"What the blue blazes are those things?" said Mike, speaking for both himself and his two fellow travellers. Klunk was staring at the odd creatures with a definite sense of disbelief, and even Susan looked as if she was having trouble believing her own eyes.

"I don't know," said Susan, clearly as baffled as Mike and Klunk were. "They look... they look a bit like the dwarfs I knew back in Narnia, but all the dwarfs had two legs... Reepicheep," she said suddenly, as if this exchange had reminded her of something she hadn't thought of before. "How long has it been?"

"I beg your pardon, your Majesty?" said Reepicheep, looking up on her.

"Narnian time never makes any sense compared to time in my world, I remember that much," said Susan. "The last time I was in Narnia, it had changed so much from how it was when I was Queen, that I hardly recognized it. How long ago was that, Reepicheep? Is this world filled with new creatures now, creatures I never knew about?"

Reepicheep looked grave, staring out on the ocean as the rowers came closer. "A long time has passed, your Majesty. Many stars have grown old and been born again. Were you to return to Narnia now, I fear you would find none left whom you knew from your last visit. Even I am only here and alive still because I long since journeyed to Aslan's own country, where age and death dare not tread, and was sent back here to perform my last task in this world: To aid the Queen."

"Yeah, well, Aslan himself turned me into a talking cat and sent me and Mike along to help get her back here in the first place," Klunk piped up, "and you don't see me putting on airs like that!"

"I am not putting on airs," said Reepicheep in an annoyed tone. "Might I remind you, cat, that you are in the presence of a Queen, and were it not for the fact that you are a friend of her Majesty -!"

"Ooooh, spare me," Klunk snorted. "How many times have you said that now?"

"Klunk, shhh," said Mike, placing a hand on the cat's back just as the four rowers reached the shore, stopping a few feet away and bobbing up and down on the tiny waves, looking at the group with excited faces.

Reepicheep, deciding to forego the argument, immediately bowed to the four before turning towards Mike and the others. "May I introduce the Dufflepud Resistance."

"That's us, that's us," said the four, speaking all at once and not in a very organized manner, though in somewhat hushed voices. "Dufflepuds, that's who we are, that's right! Couldn't have said it better ourselves! Here now, are they the ones who've come to heal the Magician?"

"Honored Dufflepuds," Reepicheep went on, as if they hadn't spoken at all, "This is her Royal Highness, Queen Susan the Gentle of Narnia, sister of Queen Lucy the Valiant, and her companions. I ask you to treat them with the same respect you would have given her sister and her friends."

"Oh, we will, we will," the Dufflepuds promised, trying to bow and curtsey while still floating on the water, something which looked comical rather than respectful - but then again, it was probably the thought that counted.

The biggest of the four, who was wearing a rather sorry-looking blue cap, looked up at Susan and took a deep breath. "Your High Royalness," he said. "I'm Clanker, the Leader of the Dufflepud resistance -" ("He is, he is, that's who he is, all right," the other three chorused) "- and I speak for us all when I say I'm honored to finally meet you. We knew your sister, we did, or rather we didn't- seeing as how none of us were born when she was here - but our parents' grandparents have told us about her, and of course our Magician."

Susan blinked. "I - I beg your forgiveness, noble Dufflepuds," she said, obviously masking her astonishment with courtesy. "I regret to say that I have never heard of you until now. Certainly there were no Dufflepuds in Narnia when I was there last."

"Oh, there wouldn't be, there wouldn't be," said Clanker. "We've never been to Narnia, never in our lives, and never in our grandparents' lives either. Dufflepuds live only on Dufflepud Island. That's why it's called Dufflepud Island, you see, because it's the only place in the world where you'll find Dufflepuds."

"He said it, he said it," the other three agreed. "Can't say much clearer than that. Keep it up, Clankie, you're doing great!"

"But this isn't a safe place to talk," Clanker went on. "If you'll climb aboard, we'll take you to our Magician. He can't explain anything, of course he can't, on account of him not being able to explain anything, but it's a safe place to talk, and we can tell you everything."

"Uh... Climb aboard what, exactly?" said Mike.

"Us, of course!" said the Dufflepuds. "Step on, step on! We can carry you, we can! You wouldn't like to swim all the way, that would be extraordinarily wet."

Susan didn't seem to need any more encouragement. Like she had for some moments back in her own apartment in New York, she had seemed to grow, if not younger, then at least stronger and more vital than before. She was walking straighter and even seemed to stand taller in some weird way (whether this was because of the fire-berry, or some strange effect of the air, or a combination of the two, was impossible to say.), and wasted no time in wading out in the water.

With the help of the eager Dufflepuds, she climbed up onto the feet of Clanker and one of the others, raising herself so she was balancing with one foot on each Dufflepud, floating on the water.

The two other Dufflepuds paddled closer to the shore and began eagerly assuring Mike that they could carry him, no trouble at all, he didn't look too heavy, and anyway, if worst should come to worst, he could swim, couldn't he?

"Just saying," said Klunk underneath their voices. "You're my best friend and all that, Mike, but if you do lose your balance here, I will scratch you."

"Aw, don't worry, Klunkers, I think I can..." Mike began, but then cut himself off as he heard some strange, silent thumps far behind him. There were several of them, and they seemed to be coming closer all the time, as if a herd of giant rabbits were coming hopping towards them. "What's that noise?" he said, turning around to face the island.

The Dufflepuds seemed to have heard it too, and looked nervous. "They're coming, they're coming!" they hissed. "Quick, quick, we must hurry! If they find us here they'll take us prisoner and we'll end up enslaved just like them!"

"Who?" said Mike, drawing his nunchucks and twirling them around as he assumed a battle position.

"The other Dufflepuds!" said Clanker. "They're slaves of the terrible monster, the terrible monster that came here to our island and enchanted our Magician and enslaved our brothers and sisters and fathers and mothers and cousins and grandparents!"

Just as he said that, Mike saw the forms of more creatures appearing between the trees, with the same shape, build and one gigantic leg as the Dufflepuds on the water, but and brandishing spears and swords, moving down the path in huge leaps and bounds, the ones in the front yelling and pointing at Mike and the others.

"They have seen us," said Reepicheep, turning around and drawing his rapier, which glowed a brilliant golden light. "Dufflepuds, get the Queen to safety! She must get to the Magician! We shall stall them for as long as we can!"

"I can't leave you behind," Susan protested, even as the Dufflepuds began rowing away from the shore with her, in the tone of voice of someone ready to swim back ashore rather than abandon her friends.

"I beg your forgiveness, your Majesty, but you must!" Reepicheep called back, waiting as the new Dufflepuds came closer with their giant leaps. "Worry not about us, we shall fight proudly as long as our bodies have any fight left in them!"

"We'll be fine, Mrs. Palmer!" Mike yelled. "Go!"

"Don't hurt them too much!" Clanker called, his voice fainter as they got farther from the shore. "They're enslaved! They don't really mean being bad!"

If he added anything more, Mike didn't hear it, because now the small force was upon them, eight angry-looking Dufflepuds with their spears and swords at the ready. Quick as lightning, and almost as blindingly bright, Reepicheep charged them. The air around him seemed to flash brilliantly every time he moved his sword, and for each flash, one more Dufflepud was hopping around and screaming in pain, clutching his gigantic foot.

Careful of Klunk who was still on his shoulder, Mike evaded the spears that two other Dufflepuds were thrusting at him, and with a carefully-aimed spin kick he knocked the spears out of both their hands. Klunk chose this exact moment to leap off Mike's shoulder and jump on top of the head of one of them, who was so surprised he toppled over and fell.

With a flash of his nunchucks, Mike knocked out the other spearless Dufflepud, sending him tumbling to the ground, and leapt out of the way as three more charged at him with enormous jumps.

"Time to get a new perspective!" he quipped as he dodged low and rolled out of the way, causing his three attackers to collide with each other in the air and fall to the ground.

The Dufflepuds were not strong or organized fighters, but their speed and unusual way of moving forth solely through the use of high jumps made them that much harder to hit, and Mike, dodging and rolling and kicking, discovered quickly that a lot of his blows failed to connect because the targets had jumped away. But Mike had fought for his life many times before and against weirder creatures than this, and elegantly backflipped away from a mighty swing of a sword that would probably have chopped his leg off if he had been slower, locking his legs around the head of the Dufflepud who'd been knocked over by Klunk and was now getting to his feet again, ending up sitting on the surprised-looking creature's shoulders.

"Ride 'im, cowboy! Yeeeeee-haaaaa!" Mike cheered as the Dufflepud, panicking, began bouncing wildly around in order to throw him off, giving Mike the extra altitude he needed to swing his 'chucks around and sending two of the attacking Dufflepuds into dreamland, while a third once let out a startled "ooof!" as his panicking comrade accidentally jumped on top of him.

Reepicheep was a glowing whirlwind, rushing around and somehow always being there just as a Dufflepud hit the ground, and with more sharp flashes of light as his impossibly-quick sword drew more blood and ensured that certain Dufflepuds' jumps became weaker and clumsier, often accompanied by sharp yelps of pain (it's hard to jump when your one leg is bleeding).

Apparently unused to this kind of resistance, two of the Dufflepuds dropped their weapons and fled, bouncing away from the scene as quickly as they could. This left only six of them, four of which were lying unconscious on the ground and one of which was bouncing around in a panic with Mike on his shoulders, but getting more and more tired under the weight of the Turtle.

The final Dufflepud, realizing he was alone and seeing Reepicheep advancing on him from one side and Klunk (who had mainly been running around and trying not to be trampled by Dufflepud feet) rushing towards him from the other, threw himself down on the ground and yelled: "All right, all right, I give up, I'm dead, see?"

"Looks like the fun's over" said Mike as his "horse" finally collapsed under his weight and lay panting on the ground. "Not exactly warriors, these guys, huh?"

"Which is why their monster enslaved them so easily," said Reepicheep, poking at the surrendering Dufflepud with his glowing sword. "Surrender to us now, and your life shall be spared!"

"I surrender, I surrender," the Dufflepud moaned. "I don't like swords that glow like fireflies! I never wanted to be a soldier, not at all, but the monster demanded it! We have to do as the monster says, and the monster says to kill or capture all intruders, so we had to -!" he gave a sharp yelp of terror and fainted dead away as Klunk bopped him on the nose with his paw.

"You're right, not warriors at all," the cat said, looking at Reepicheep, who just shook his head in dismay.

"Those two who got away are prolly warning everyone else as we speak, though," said Mike. "I suggest we split the scene before we have an entire army of bouncing one-leggers jumpin' on our heads, or that monster they were talking about. Where's Mrs. Palm - I mean, the Queen?"

"The Dufflepud Resistance would have taken her to the Magician," said Reepicheep. "She should be safe enough with them for the time being. As for us, we have little choice in staying here on the island, as there are no boats big enough for us all to join her. I have my coracle hidden close by, but it would carry only me, and it would be a great stain on my honor were I to leave two friends of her Majesty to fend for themselves alone in a strange land - especially now that we have all fought side-by-side. That would be to abandon my comrades in arms." He bowed elegantly to them both.

Mike and Klunk exchanged glances, partly amused and partly impressed by the elaborate speech. Had it come before Reepicheep had had a chance to show his skills in battle, they might have laughed, but his speed and ferocity had more than demonstrated that despite his small size, the mouse was clearly a force to be reckoned with, and the only reason why the Dufflepuds were still alive was that he hadn't been trying to kill them.

"Uh, thanks," said Mike.

"Yeah, I guess," muttered Klunk reluctantly.

"But what should we do?" Mike went on. "We can't stay here on the shore, they'll come back and find us. We could take eight of 'em, no problem, but there could be more. And then there's that monster that they kept talking about..."

"Shall I understand this as your admitting that you are afraid of facing the unknown?" said Reepicheep, looking at Mike with piercing eyes.

"Um..." Mike paused. "Yeah, pretty much. I mean, hello, it's a monster."

Reepicheep opened his mouth, and then closed it again, as if he hadn't expected that answer and wasn't sure how to deal with it. "Well," he said. And then again: "Well." He had to take a deep breath before continuing, his expression a mix of confusion and indignity. "You carry yourself as a warrior, and you fight like a warrior. What is more, if your story is true, you were chosen by Aslan to accompany the Queen! Now you tell me that you are a mere coward who will flee in the face of danger? Have you no thought for your honor?"

"Whoa, relax!" Mike held up his hands. "Just saying, we should know a bit more about this place, and this monster, before we go chargin' against it."

Reepicheep seemed to consider this, growing less tense. "Your words are not without wisdom," he conceded. "I suppose that there is a time to gather information and a time to strike. Very well... I had hoped that we might go though this together with her Majesty and the Dufflepud resistance, but it seems like that was not meant to be. Follow me, and I shall tell you what I know."

TO BE CONTINUED...

Author's notes: The plot thickens... or does it? Guess we'll just have to wait and see.

The tale of the battle between Tash and Aslan is never referred to in any of the Narnia books and was purely something I invented for this story... and as Asheena points out, it might not even be true. (If it is, though, I think we can safely say that the Narnians' recounting of it is somewhat more accurate and that Aslan won.) The concept of "diamond juice" comes from The Silver Chair, even if it's only mentioned in brief by Golg the gnome, and none of the characters in the story actually get to taste it. I figured that Ardazhin would love the idea of drinking diamonds.

And of course the Dufflepuds are from Voyage of the Dawn Treader. I couldn't have made them up if I tried.