Chapter 10: Up the Hills
Tyler and Harold sat alone in a hut. "Harold, I don't get why we have to stay up in the mountains anyway," Tyler said.
"I've developed quite a reputation," Harold said, "Not that my skills will prove the reputation wrong or anything."
"But…" Tyler said, "You know that we can't hide forever. Sometime someone will call you on being the Screaming Monk."
"That's the Squealing Monk," Harold corrected, "The one with the info, who will squeal."
"Harold," Tyler said, looking out a window, "I think we have company!"
"Idiots!" Harold shouted, looking out and seeing an entire battalion led by the producer who was chased away from the previous two fights by Courtney's Resistance.
"I know you're in here, Squealing Monk, so you might as well give up," he said, "If you come quietly, we won't knock your glasses off."
"Gosh!" Harold shouted, coming out, "You really ought to knock next time." Tyler followed, carrying an axe.
"What? This is your laser targeted defense? A fighter?" the producer said, "Don't make me laugh."
"I'm not laughable!" Tyler shouted, swinging his axe around in the general direction of the producer, who dodged the blade by ducking under it.
"Ha! You'll need better aim than that if you want to beat ME!" he shouted.
"Oh, no! The prognosis for winning does not look good," Harold said. "Unless we suddenly get some reinforcements…"
"Like those guys over there?" Tyler asked, pointing to Courtney's Resistance.
"Harold?" Courtney asked.
"Courtney?" Harold responded.
"Yes, it's me! And I brought Duncan too!" she shouted.
"Great…" Harold muttered, "Anyway, I'm glad we ran into you guys. Listen, can you help us defend ourselves and our hut from the bad guys?"
"Of course," Courtney said, "You can count on us."
"But I will have the last laugh," the producer said, "Because I just sent in some bandits to burn down the hut."
"Uh-oh! There's valuable information in there!" Harold said. "We can't let them burn it down, guys!"
"Now, we better hurry and make it to the hut before those bandits do!" Courtney shouted, "Courtney's Resistance, go!"
This time, Trent and Alejandro stayed behind. Trent's skills were missed, although not to as much of an extent as Geoff's were welcomed. Courtney led Duncan, Katie, and Sadie toward the hut, while Sierra stayed with Geoff trying to guard the point of their entrance from an incessant bunch of archers who not only wanted to kill Gwen but were willing to engage in suicidal warfare to do so. They ultimately failed in killing Gwen, but Bridgette knew that her healing was needed.
Noah and Cody had another agenda, as they both headed for Harold and Tyler. Cody headed for Harold while Noah headed for Tyler. Noah reached Tyler first and greeted, "Hey, Tyler."
Tyler screamed, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"
"What the crap," Noah responded flatly.
"Oh…nothing," Tyler said, "I thought you were someone else."
Noah, alluding to the producer, asked, "That swelled head? Please."
"Listen, Noah," Tyler said, "I really want to help you and your little resistance."
"Thanks, Tyler," Noah said.
"Oh, and Harold wants to join too," Tyler added.
"Fine," Noah said, "Whatever."
Harold, like Courtney, was skilled in the department of light magic. He and Cody went to attack a couple of men on horses, who directly attacked Cody. Cody was still too weak to completely kill them all at once, but he wasn't too weak to get them to the point where Harold could do so with ease.
Fed up, the producer went and attacked Courtney, who said, "Get out of our way."
"I refuse," he responded.
"Well," Courtney asked, "What am I going to have to do to get you to move?"
"How about dying?" he suggested.
"Maybe you should be the one dying," Courtney responded. The battle was completely uneventful. Courtney not only missed both times she shot some light at the producer, but didn't take damage when she was attacked by darkness.
They were close enough to the hut that they weren't worried about trying to take out the producer. Noah was the next to attack, and he predicted well that he had quite a boon. He had the opportunity to make three shots, and if he succeeded in doing so, he would kill the producer. "Move," he said simply.
"Make me," the producer responded.
"How mature of you," Noah retorted.
"I know," the producer said, throwing it back in Noah's face.
"I'm sure I couldn't possibly stand up to your powerful dark magic," Noah said sarcastically.
"Indeed," responded the wise guy producer, "Your own head will get in the way when you try to cast a spell."
"At least my brain is big enough to be an obstacle," Noah answered.
"Too bad your spine is too weak to hold it up," was the reply.
Noah's final words before casting his first spell were "Look who's talking, lapdog." Noah, unfortunately, missed his opportunity to make his third shot, and the producer was still standing. Tyler hoped to put an end to this shortly.
"I'm gonna crush you, you little piece of snot that fell out of my nose right now," Tyler taunted, "You're so much of a snot you're a little dried up booger."
"I know you are but what am I?" the producer retorted.
"Oh, a wise guy, eh?" Tyler asked.
"Oh," the producer said condescendingly, "So you can come to the right conclusions." Tyler took a swing with his axe but completely missed. The wise guy producer did not. Bridgette helped to heal the dazed Tyler from his magical injury.
Afraid of counterattacks, the wise guy producer moved to attack Duncan from afar. Duncan said flatteringly, "You know, I kind of like your style."
"Can it," the producer responded impatiently.
"So I should just shut up and let you kill Courtney and the others, is that it?" Duncan asked.
"Absolutely," the wise guy producer answered.
"Not gonna happen," Duncan said, and then he quickly avoided a shot from the darkness.
Harold thought this battle had gone on long enough, and he decided to take matters into his own hands. He asked, "You going to give up yet?"
"Me? Give up?" the wise guy producer asked, "Please. There's no way I'm going to let the Squealing Monk go just like that. You're going to have to hit harder."
"That can be arranged," Harold answered, sending a beam of light in the general direction of the producer, and after being barraged by a spell of darkness, sending out a second one, which was the fatal blow.
"Meh," the wise guy producer said falling, "Lucky shot." Tyler took this opportunity to block the hut's entrance once more.
"Sir?" a random soldier asked, "Sir, you can't have fallen, can you have? Sir?"
"Sorry." Harold responded, "He died."
"Let's get out of here!" the soldier said, along with the rest of the people he was with.
"Harold!" Courtney said, "Good to see you!"
"I never thought I'd hear you say that without any sort of scorn," Harold shrugged. "But I suppose you guys just want the info."
"What info?" Duncan asked.
"Oh, guys, haven't you heard? Harold's the Squeaking Monk," Tyler said.
"That's the Squealing Monk, Tyler," Harold corrected, "Because I know how Chris came to rule the world."
"You do?" Courtney asked. "How?"
"Okay," Harold said, "So you know how Chris suddenly became extremely powerful for no reason?"
"Yeah," Courtney said, "We all know that."
"Well, what if I told you there was a reason?" Harold asked. "He found an artifact. The artifact was supposed to be off-limits to everyone. Chris found it by mistake. He didn't know what it was at the time, but the artifact is known as the Fire Emblem. It gives stupendous power to anyone who touches it, and now that Chris has found it, the only way to defeat him is to make him lose it somehow."
"How?" Courtney asked.
"Well, that's simple," Harold said, "We'll need to rattle him in order to distract him, and then once he drops it, we'll get him for good!"
"Harold, thank you for the information," Courtney responded, "We'll take this into account for future battles."
"Hey, I just have one question," Duncan said, "How do you know all this?"
"I have connections," Harold said. "Spies, here and there."
"Well, that's a good enough answer for me," Courtney responded, and Courtney's Resistance with its two new members adjourned.
Meanwhile, Chris was talking to Chef Hatchet and the network executive. The network executive said, "Well, I'm sorry, Chris, but it would appear as though your 'secret weapon' died, and the resistance found the Squealing Monk. Looks like you should have been more cautious."
"I told you so!" Chef Hatchet shouted.
"Chef," Chris said, "Settle. Even if they found out about the Fire Emblem and everything, there's no way they can get past you."
"Yeah," Chef Hatchet said, "But if they even get to me they've gone too far."
"My god," Chris said, "What if my world reign is ending?"
"Hooray!" Chef Hatchet cheered. Chris glared at him. "I said nothing. What a shame that would be."
Author's Note: Goodies for this chapter include unit descriptions (Harold; Tyler), death quotes (Harold; Tyler), alternate versions of the (early part) of the ending dialogue (Duncan died; Tyler died), alternate battle dialogue (generic unit [i.e. unused character] fights Wise Guy Producer; Cody talks to Tyler; Noah talks to Harold; Cody talks to Harold), Courtney and Geoff's Support (Level B), Sadie and Trent's Support (Level C), and Duncan and Gwen's Support (Level C).